I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Justin to Kayla: "Do you still care for the man you married? For the father of your children?" Might not be a road you want to go down, Justin. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see: Steve's brain chip pops out through the hole where his eyeball used to be. #DAYS
From the Gospel According to Anna: "An eye for an eye, and a shoe for a shoe." #DAYS
Brady says Seth Burns was "receptive" to starting a charity. What did he expect… for Seth to turn down big donations? Seth be like, "OH BOY, MONEY! GIVE ME MONEY!" #DAYS
Kristen thinks there might be something more than pests in the tunnels. Gee, I can't imagine why except those tunnels have probably had more bodies down there than the Salem Cemetery. #DAYS
If Marlena says yes to Steveano's proposal she will officially become Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson. #DAYS
Marlena: "My marriage is over?" Not the first time we've ever heard that from Marlena. #DAYS
Ciara wants to take things slow. Having been in prison for a year, to Ben that would mean anything less than the speed of light. #DAYS
Sarah: "My love life is none of your concern." In that case she needs to get Dr. Rolf to erase Eric's memory. #DAYS
Sarah doesn't want Eric and Xander arguing while they are in Mickey's room. Because… you know… 10-month old Mickey understands every word. #DAYS
Kristen: "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Brady." Given Kristen's rotten life, that doesn't say much. #DAYS
Abby: "Time away from your husband is a good thing as long as it's not too much time apart." Chad seems to still be in the 'not too much time apart' phase. #DAYS
Sonny: "Not hungry, Uncle Vic?" Maybe he thought that flower on the coffee table was lunch. #DAYS
Female viewers: "Humph! I hope Nicole doesn't fall out of that dress." Male Viewers: "I hope she does." #DAYS
Ben to Ciara: "I just want to be with you. I don't care where." I know of a burned out cabin they could fix up. #DAYS
Steveano needs to have Rolf plant a chip in Marlena's head that makes her think Steveano is John Black. Then everybody gets what they want. #DAYS
Sarah to Xander: "There is absolutely no way you will ever lose me." Sorry, Xander, that is the #DOOL kiss of death. #DAYS
Nicole: "What are the odds Kristen's baby could be born on the same night with the same birthmark?" I don't know, what are the odds Kristen could impersonate you and seduce Brady with a polystyrene mask? #DAYS
Kristen to Kate: "You trusted the man who made your life a living hell and then kicked you to the curb." Doesn't that apply to just about every man Kate has been with?" #DAYS
If Brady tries on those panties he will immediately turn gay. #DAYS
Lani is shook up about David due to her close relationship to him. And by close relationship I mean none whatever. #DAYS
Princess Gina claims to be Rolf's masterpiece. Me, personally, I'd say bringing someone back from the dead trumps changing a personality with a computer chip. #DAYS
Gina: "I fooled the entire population of Salem for a year." That's about as hard as fooling my dog when I fake throwing a tennis ball and he goes chasing after nothing. #DAYS
BULLETIN: In response to the Coronavirus crisis, Salem has ordered all businesses closed. This has had no effect since almost no one in Salem goes to work anyway. #DAYS
BULLETIN: Titan stock, once more expensive than Berkshire Hathaway, has dipped to $1.98 a share. Merrill Lynch, which rates stocks Buy, Sell, or Hold, has now rated Titan as "Are You Out of Your Mind?" #DAYS
BULLETIN: Since the Coronavirus has a greater effect on older people, Dr. Rolf is busy un-SORASing everyone in Salem. #DAYS
It's good to have Hope back. If she's really Hope… MWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS
John has disdain for Kristen simply because she's a DiMera. Of course John himself used to be a DiMera before the writers rewrote history and made him not a DiMera. Now he's a Robicheaux… Or a Ling… or whatever. It's hard to keep track of. #DAYS
Xander gets on his knees and begs Sarah to marry him. Sarah howls with laughter. Her response is just as effective but far less painful than castrating him. #DAYS
Along with Kristen and Brady, I did some conscious remembering myself. I closed my eyes and remembered when #DAYS used to be good.
Will and Sonny finally figure out that Rafe got Evan low bail so Evan would lead them to David. Rare that Rafe is the shrewd one in any group. #DAYS
It's Friday the 13th. Coronavirus is running rampant. Everything is closing down. The stock market is tanking. I feel like we all live in Salem. #DAYS
Evan: "You are not allowed to question me without a lawyer." You were singing like a canary when Ciara had a gun pointed at your head. #DAYS
Will and Sonny draw the line at getting Ariana a puppy. They want her to be the only one in the house that ages in dog years. #DAYS
Gabi's bone marrow has been transplanted into Mickey. Hope they didn't transplant her personality along with it. #DAYS
Instead of removing Gina/Hope's chip, why don't they just put her head in a powerful electromagnet and turn the juice on? #DAYS
Steve reads Keats to Marlena: "Thou still unravished bride of quietness..." The last time Marlena was unravished, John Keates was still alive. #DAYS
Steveano: "Kate is nothing if not greedy." Kate is nothing if not unemployed. #DAYS
Steveano is such a sweet talker. #DAYS
Chad: "One day Gabi will get the punishment she deserves." She already did. She got Rafe as a brother. #DAYS
NOTICE: In order to contain the coronavirus epidemic in Salem, from this point forward monkey sex will be limited to monkeys. #DAYS
Down goes John. He's had more concussions than the average NFL player. #DAYS
Kate: "There is no way Stefano could be inside someone else's body." He's been inside yours, sweetheart. #DAYS
John gets cold-cocked twice in the same episode. One more time and his brain turns to liquid and pours out of his ears. #DAYS
Jennifer: "I lost a year of my life." Yes, but Salem got a year of peace and quiet. #DAYS
Jennifer: "I'm not going to let Gina get to me." Jen runs into the room where Gina immediately gets to her. #DAYS
Steveano: "Hello, Marlena." Marlena: "Hello, Stefano." Helllloooo, Newman. #DAYS
Roman to Kate: "I already put an ad in the Spectator for your replacement." How nineties… apparently Roman has never heard of the Internet. #DAYS
Justice served: This execution has taken so long it's like Ben is getting the death penalty for each of the victims he murdered as a serial killer. #DAYS
There are thousands of drunk drivers in prison who would love to know according to Victor, like Maggie, it's not their fault they killed someone. #DAYS
The title of today's episode: "Ciara Makes A Citizen's Arrest." #DAYS
By this time Ben's bloodstream would be pure propofol. #DAYS
Protip for Haddie: "I'm proud of you" and a kiss on the cheek isn't undying love. #DAYS
The governor is a dick. #DAYS
The spirits of serial killer Ben's victims, including Serena and Paige, gather at the execution. They're not so enthusiastic about delaying it. #DAYS
Oh, good. A whole show of Ben's death throes. #DAYS
Maybe Dr. Rolf's anti-lethal-injection serum will save the day. #DAYS
If Ben's death was any more protracted they might have time to elect a new governor who could pardon him. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see: They mixed up the injection Gabi is about to get with Ben's death potion. #DAYS
I get it. They're waiting for May sweeps for someone to rush in and save Ben. #DAYS
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