Monkey Sex

If, as they say, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," then Paulina just blew the relationship. Good thing for Paulina, the way to a man's heart is a bit south of his stomach. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kayla: "I should vaccinate you. You don't want monkey pox, do you?" Belle: "Of course I want it." Kayla: "Are you saying you want monkey pox?" Belle: "Oh, no. I don't want that. I thought you said monkey SEX." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: "Don't forget… Justin is as good as it gets." Eli: "If that's true, R. Kelly should have hired Justin." #DAYS

Unbridled Sex

Belle: "I made vows and promised Shawn I would never break them again." Breaking vows is Belle's hobby. #DAYS

Chloe to Jan: "Using your own child to get your hooks into Shawn… that's pretty low." Not Actually, chapter one of the Gal's Manual is "How to use your pregnancy to get your hooks into a guy." #DAYS

Maybe they could dress Abby in the gown she wore at Bayview. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Belle: "You come across as confident… straightforward… and a bit of a slut." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — After a night of unbridled sex with EJ, Belle goes home, gets her Bible and pencils in a few corrections, most notably crossing out one key commandment. #DAYS

Belle, Belle, going to hell,
How does your sex life go?
"I've got nothing to hide,
I've got guys on the side.
And wouldn't mind a few more."
#DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Belle: "I'd like you to stay so that tomorrow the first thing I would look at would be your pretty face. Well… come to think of it… the second thing I would look at." #DAYS

Inappropriate

Lucas doesn't remember where he was or what he did that night. ARE THERE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN SALEM? #DAYS

Get a grip, Lucas. #DAYS

Bryan Dattilo must think blubbering and overacting is the path to a daytime Emmy. #DAYS

I hope Sami gets a big divorce settlement. She's going to need it if she's married to Lucas. #DAYS

The Salem Spectator reports that at the funeral when the minister said, "We will never hear Abby's voice again," the ensuing applause was "inappropriate." #DAYS

Friends In Low Places

Lucas: "I went on a bender. It was one night. Just one night. That was it." Sometimes one night is all it takes, Lucas. #DAYS

Belle: "Jan has been trying to come between Shawn and me for years. I guess she finally succeeded." With a little help from Satan himself. Jan has friends in low places. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "I'm so sorry to tell you we've lost your mommy." Thomas: "That's OK. They'll find her. Bayview is a big place." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "What they charge for a bowl of chowder here at the pub is criminal." Clyde: "That's because the price of the bacteria that causes botulism has gone up." #DAYS

love Convicts All

Lani confesses. Paulina is guilty of giving a false confession. Since family is so important in Salem, maybe they'll let Lani and Paulina share a prison cell. #DAYS

Lani: "This is supposed to be a celebration." Way to liven things up, party girl. #DAYS

Everyone in the group raises his or her hand. What you didn't hear was someone asked, "Who in this group is a suspect in Abby's murder?" #DAYS

Eli to Lani: "By the time you get out of prison our children could be teenagers." On this show, that's only a couple of years. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lani: "I confessed to Ray's murder because I love you." Paulina: "But I confessed because I love you." Eli: "They say love conquers all. In this case I think we can say love convicts all." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "Have you been secretly studying law books at bedtime?" Kate: "Why would you ask that?" Roman: "I figured there had to be some reason I'm not getting any." #DAYS

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Lani talks about killing Ray, "I PULLED THAT TRIGGER." Shouting that out in a police station might not be the best thing to do. OTOH, this is the Salem PD. If she shouted it in the Salem Krispy Kreme they would arrest her on the spot. #DAYS

As Chanel demands Abe come over for dinner, you may not have noticed the music playing softly in the background: "Matchmaker, ♫♪ Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch… ♫♪" #DAYS  

Eric: "Abigail was murdered last night." Sarah: "Abigail is dead?" Eric: "That's usually the way it turns out when someone is murdered." #DAYS

Lani to Eli: "Are you afraid I would go to that dinner tonight and have a breakdown and tell everyone what I did?" Pretty much, yes. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "Apparently you haven't heard… Abigail was murdered." Xander: "OMG! Is she OK?" #DAYS

Little Miss Crabby

Abby, Abby, little Miss Crabby;
Just how did your homicide go?
With twenty stabs, and twenty more jabs;
And suspects lined up in a row.
#DAYS

Jennifer: "My sweet girl had so much to live for." Yes, Her work was unfinished. There were so many people she hadn't been able to irritate yet.  #DAYS

Abigail is dead. Her body has been sliced and diced into little pieces and she'll probably be cremated, then return from the dead with the child she and Chad just conceived. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "I'm in prison. Do you think I stabbed Abby twenty times and she left, went home crawled into bed and died?" Jack: "This is Salem, so that sounds plausible." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shinn: "The shadow cannot exist without the light." Gabi: "Yes it can. Without the light it's all just one giant shadow." #DAYS

Cornucopia of Unlimited Tail

Lucas: "What the hell did I do last night?" Let's see… empty tequila bottle… hangover… even Lucas should be able to figure that part of it out. #DAYS

Cheer up, Chad. With Abby gone you can now go back to exploring Salem's cornucopia of unlimited tail. #DAYS

Rafe: "This box looks tampered-with." Chad grabs it and opens it. There you go, chad, get your fingerprints and DNA all over the box and smear out the real evidence. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "Abigail was murdered last night." Lucas: "Abigail DiMera?" Roman: "Well it sure as hell wasn't Abigail Adams."

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "Do you have a list of suspects who might have murdered Abigail?" Rafe: "Yes. Anyone in Salem who isn't a paraplegic." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "Abigail is dead." EJ: I'm sorry to hear that. She was the best shower I ever had." #DAYS

I Heard The Bed Squeaking All Night

Rafe and Nicole… Jake and Ava… Gabi and Shinn… After all the sex in Salem yesterday, that wasn't a sunrise you saw this morning. It was afterglow. #DAYS

TR's last words (almost) were, "I can explain." A lot of guys' last words are, "I can explain." #DAYS

Chanel: "This town is beyond weird." Truth. #DAYS

SPOILER ALERT: In upcoming episodes several Salem residents will be possessed by the Tooth Fairy. #DAYS

I've been to the Guggenheim. Put Gwen's mug in there and it would fit right in. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Rafe and I are getting married." Holly: "I know." Nicole: "Because you saw my ring?" Holly: "Yes, that and the fact I heard the bed squeaking all night." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abby: "After Gwen's call she's in my head." Susan: "At least there's plenty of room for her in there what with all that empty space." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Susan: "Is there something going on between you and EJ?" Belle: "Let's put it this way… the pot's on the stove, but the water isn't boiling." #DAYS