Unpredictable, Hot-Tempered, and Half Drunk

Sarah kisses Victoria: "Her head is warm." OMG! CALL THE CORONER! #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Everett: "Will you help me with my cufflinks? I'm all thumbs." Stephanie: "If I remember correctly, you're all hands." #DAYS

If you want to know how competent Theresa thinks she is, not to mention unpredictable, hot-tempered, and possibly half-drunk, just offer to help her. #DAYS

The Next Plane to Timbuktu

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "Just prescribe whatever I need so I can't get out of here." Kayla: "Until I have a diagnosis I can't prescribe anything." Paulina: "How about medical marijuana? That helps anything." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — "You may have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis." Paulina: "Well, Hashimoto can have it back." #DAYS

Nicole: "If the baby was Eric's that would have been a sign that he and I were supposed to be together." Together until he takes another powder back to Africa? #DAYS

John and Steve give Constantine one week to get out of the country. ONE WEEK? I'd have him in a dog crate in the storage area of the next plane to Timbuktu. #DAYS

Marlena; "What do you see next for yourself?" Nicole: "Lunch." #DAYS

Re-Heated

Stefan: "I can't compare the prison infirmary to Salem Hospital. That place is devoid of care and service." I'm pretty sure the prison infirmary is devoid of care and service, too. #DAYS

Ava didn't want Harris to get caught up in it if things went sideways. In Salem, sideways is the only way things go. #DAYS

Ava and Stefan have an open bag of white powder behind them. Crack Salem cop Harris must think they're on location for the Great American Baking Show. #DAYS

Tripp to Wendy: "As much as I want you to stay in Salem, I'll respect whatever decision you make; and if you decide to move to China, I'll respect your decision while I go berserk. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "I'm so sorry Gabi has to spend Christmas in prison." Rafe: "Not as sorry as she is." #DAYS

Melinda and Wendy fun fact: Wendy is sometimes a nickname for Melinda. The gal Wendy's restaurants were named after was Melinda Lou Thomas. #DAYS

Rafe says the tamales are re-heated. I think he's getting a little re-heated himself. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Harris to Stefan: "I'm telling you not to screw with Ava. And I mean that figuratively and literally." #DAYS

Bulb-O-Rama

The annual Horton Christmas bulb-o-rama… Where they get together with people they can't stand to gush about how much they love and mean to each other. #DAYS

Looks to me like Tater-Tot is the one adult in the room. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Doug: "There is a bulb on the Horton tree that says 'weenie.' Whose is that?" Julie: "Chad's." #DAYS

Maggie: "Victor grew to love the Horton family tradition." The tradition, yes; the Hortons, not so much. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Thomas: "Can Charlotte and I spend Christmas with you every year?" Stephanie: "Yes. Let's make it a really special one next year when they SORAS you into high school." #DAYS

How ironic. Everett hangs Nick's bulb on the Horton tree. #DAYS

Triple Martinis

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "This is your special day. It's wrong to ignore it. So this is what I propose..." Holly: "PROPOSE? DID YOU SAY PROPOSE? YES! OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!." #DAYS

Note to the crowd in the pub: Christmas is supposed to be spiritual, but the spirits aren't supposed to be triple martinis. #DAYS

Holly: "In this state 17 is the age of consent." In many other states it's the age of 15 to 20 in the slammer. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel(on phone): "My mom is in the hospital with a big lump on her throat." Johnny: "With any luck she'll have to have her vocal chords removed." #DAYS

Wow! Look at that scene with young John and Marlena. That is a classic 80s big hairdo. Marlena is sporting the big hair, too. #DAYS

Flashback to Roman proposing to Kate for their second marriage. This time it worked out better. For example, this time Roman didn't get stabbed to death on their wedding night. #DAYS

Christmas: The Commercial Money-Grubbing Greed-Fest

Andrew shows up and tells Theresa she was identified in the security videos from Victoria's kidnapping. BUS—TED! #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — "The Chinese don't exactly celebrate Christmas the way the rest of the world does." Tripp: "What do you do that is different?" Wendy: "We don't have the commercial, money-grubbing greed-fest you have here in the US." #DAYS

Sarah has to meet with Xander to go over Victoria's Christmas schedule. At her age wouldn't that consist of times for her feedings, sleeping and the all-important diaper changing timetable? #DAYS

Maggie tells Sarah they should avoid Constantine. Then she turns around and accepts his invitation for eggnog. Consistency isn't exactly her strong point. #DAYS

Stephanie's Smorgasbord

Stephanie bumps into Chad, Alex, and Everett – the trio better known as "Stephanie's Smorgasbord." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad, Alex, and Everett get together and discuss the butterfly tattoo on Stephanie's ass. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "You are a sex addict." Brady; "I'm just a normal guy." Theresa: "Normal guy… sex addict… What's the difference?" #DAYS

Everett: "I know you're abstaining from relationships, but can I still be your bestie?" Protip for Steph: No guy want's to be his ex's bestie. #DAYS

Chad wants Stefan to stop drinking himself into a stupor. I'm afraid that ship has sailed. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "We women have a more limited time to procreate than men do." Everett: "Time's a wastin'…"

Next on #DOOL — Everett to Stephanie: "You're kind, funny, sweet, loyal, promiscuous…" #DAYS

The Promiscuous Little Slut

Stephanie: "Hair of the dog…" What does that mean? Is she expecting Harris to drop by for another round? #DAYS

Nicole is distraught about giving up Jude. Look at the bright side, Nicole, maybe his diaper needs changing. #DAYS

Breaking up with Stephanie isn't as bad as you think it is, Chad. The promiscuous little slut wouldn't stay faithful for five minutes anyway. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "I think a lot about that interesting time you and Allie and I had." Alex: "Oh, you mean our menage a tramps?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "I woke up in your bed, but are you saying nothing happened between us?" Harris: "Well, to be completely honest, I copped a few feels." #DAYS

The Morning After

Lucas to Dimitri: "Well… if it isn't the bastard who kidnapped my mother." If Lucas is defending Kate this must be the week she hasn't disowned him. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sloan: "I'm putting he past behind me." Leo: "Where else would it go?" #DAYS

Nicole looks radiant in her slacks that are three sizes too small. #DAYS

Dimitri is in Super-Max. Leo is acting like Mad Max. #DAYS

The reality of the morning-after descends on Harris and Stephanie. #DAYS

OMG! A baby thief swipes the baby thief's baby. #DAYS

If Jude keeps wailing all night whoever took him may be giving him back after a couple nights. #DAYS

Leo: "Why would Stephanie Johnson spend the night at the Brady pub?" Well, it ain't for the chowdah. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Is Nicole a suspect in this kidnapping?" Rafe: "No. We just think she may be the one who took the baby." #DAYS

Marlena to Sloan: "Nobody is blaming you for your baby being kidnapped." I am. She left him unattended in the square. She just as well might have rolled his stroller into a busy intersection. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "Chad is jealous about Everett. I don't know what to do." Tripp: "You have to do what feels good to you." Stephanie: "I did that last night." #DAYS 

A Hormonal, Erratic, Crazy Mess

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "What did you mean when you said EJ and Nicole's baby isn't dead?" Dimitri: "Is that a trick question?" #DAYS

Nicole: "You think I'm a hormonal, erratic, crazy mess." EJ: "I don't think you're crazy." I guess that just leaves hormonal, erratic mess, #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "What smells so good?" Sloan: "Jude's diaper needs changing." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Thanks to modern medicine we now know you can carry a baby to term… as long as they revoke your driver's license." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "I'm going to steal Johnny from Chanel." Tate: "Johnny's a horn-dog. He would never want to date a virgin." Holly: "No problem there." #DAYS

A Tramp

Wendy to Tripp: "I took a ride-share." She would have identified the brand, but Uber ahd Lyft both refused to pay for the product placement spot. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "Just because I am in the company of someone wealthy doesn't mean I'm a gold digger." Constantine: "Then if you're not with Alex for his money I guess that just makes you a tramp." #DAYS

Chad is a bigger weenie than an Oscar Meyer foot-long hot dog. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "I believe when you find that person who is right for you it can be forever." Rafe: "I believe that, too." Jada: "So I'll be with you until I find that person." #DAYS

Depraved Baby-Snatcher

Nicole to Eric: "If this little baby is mine then that means it won't be yours." Life is full of little surprises, isn't it." #DAYS

Nicole: "…You know… a bird in the hand…" EJ: "Whoever said 'a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush has got his bird in the wrong bush." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Someone stole drugs from the evidence room." Harris: "Do you think it was an inside job?" Rafe: "What else would it be? We don't store the drugs outside." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole; "I know that baby is mine." Sloan: "How can you possibly know that." Nicole: "He had a birthmark that resembles a misty circle." #DAYS

Dimitri: "We all know the success rate of the Salem PD." With the Salem PD it would be more appropriate to call it a failure rate.

Sloan: "If that were Nicole's baby I would be some depraved baby-snatcher." That about sums it up. #DAYS

Eric: "We need a name for our baby." Eric Jr. would be really appropriate. #DAYS

EJ to Nicole: "We will get through this together." Until they figure out who the real father is, then Nicole will take a bigger powder than D.B. Cooper. #DAYS

Big And Magical Body Parts

Chanel calls Johnny her boyfriend. But he's her ex-husband, so what takes precedence? And where does Chanel fit in all this… girlfriend or ex-wife who is a bit jealous over Johnny's father's step-daughter with a crush on Johnny? What's the protocol here? #DAYS

Shouldn't EJ be recusing himself from this case? #DAYS

Leo: "Dimitri's heart is big… along with some other big and magical body parts." It's #DOOL – they just had to go there. #DAYS

Holly: "I came up with a plan to find out if Nicole is the baby's mother… a DNA test." OMG! Who ever would have thought of that except the audience members shouting, "Get a DNA test." The only question remaining is how will the DNA test get messed up?" #DAYS