Born Yesterday

Justin says he can't help Gabi unless she tells him what happened. Translation: Justin can't wait to hear this juicy story.#DAYS

 

Will asks if Sami was born yesterday. I'm not sure she's that mature. #DAYS

 

What's to prevent Rafe from agreeing to stay away from Sami, getting Gabi off the hook & then pursuing Sami again afterward? #DAYS

 

They must've blown their body oil budget for a year to get Rafe's pecs to glisten like that coming out of the shower. #DAYS

The Marine Corps Mascot

Melanie says she needs space. Doesn't she have enough of that between her ears? #DAYS

 

Sonny & Will, Bo & Hope, that couch in the town square has seen more action this week than Roman has in the past two years. #DAYS

 

Lucas, Rafe & EJ sniffing around Sami in the same episode. If there were any more men in her life she'd be the Marine Corps mascot. #DAYS

 

Brady and Marlena used some form of "be there for you" a record 57 times in their conversation. Really. I counted. #DAYS

No Donuts In Space

Hey, #DOOL writers, haven't we done the Sami-Rafe-EJ triangle thing already? #AdNauseam  #DAYS

 

Ad note: A certain yogurt's the only one endorsed by a certain weightloss program. Think there's not a boatload of money behind that? #DAYS

 

Bo would be a failure as an astronaut. There are no donuts in space. #DAYS

 

Melanie postpones the wedding and leaves Chad hanging.  A hanging Chad. Ba-da-boom. #DAYS

 

Whew! For a minute there I thought Bo and Hope were going to throw it down right there on the town square couch. #DAYS

A Flying Leap Into Disaster

Maggie: "Melanie is taking a flying leap into disaster." I wish she'd just take a flying leap. #DAYS

 

If Melanie's so concerned about Nick how come she's meeting her former demonic crazed stalker in the woods? #DAYS

 

Nicole walks around cussing like an angry longshoreman.  I'm guessing DannyRafe's first word will have four letters. #DAYS

 

Adrienne says she knows nothing about raising girls. Except for when she was Bonnie Lockhart and raised Mimi, that is. #DAYS

 

Nick badgers the new bar wench at the pub. No doubt she'll be the next Chief of Staph at Salem Hospital. #DAYS

Maybe History Will Repeat Itself

Lucas says sparing Sami's feelings isn't high on his list any more. Translation: He's not getting laid any more. #DAYS

 

Hope calls Abe "Dad." Now there's a story line I didn't see coming. #DAYS

 

Melanie: "No more talk about leaving town." Good. Just do it. #DAYS

 

Unlike most, I'm all for Melanie getting married. She got shot on her last wedding day. Maybe history will repeat itself. #DAYS

Sami And Rafe Shop For Books

Sami And Rafe Shop For Books:

Face-Suck-Fest

Rafe says maybe Sami shouldn't be with anyone.  Yeah, Sister Sami, that'd work. For five seconds. #DAYS

 

Gabi tells Nick she and Melanie have been friends forever. Right, through thick and thin... and kidnappings. #DAYS

 

EJ arrives after Sami and Rafe's face-suck-fest.  Better check her for Rafe's fingerprints, EJ. #DAYS

 

I guess after his big argument with Sami, Rafe decided they should kiss and make up. #DAYS

They're All Doomed

EJ orders up the "height of romance and then top that." The guy's pulling out all the stops to get laid, isn't he? #DAYS

 

Rafe likes the name Daniel Raphael Hernandez, "It's so... so..." The word you're looking for, Raphael, is "me." #DAYS

 

Jennifer: upset because her daughter's a virgin. Dan: upset because his daughter's marrying the guy who's banging her lights out. WTH? #DAYS

 

Melanie says she doesn't know what she'd do if she lost Chad. Didn't she say the same thing about losing Phillip? Like 100 times? #DAYS

 

Brady reads "Living with loss." Keep it for your next girlfriend, too, Brady. They're all doomed. #DAYS

America's Sodom And Gomorrah

Jennifer wonders how Abby could still be a virgin. I think that speaks for the mindset in Salem, a.k.a America's Sodom & Gomorrah. #DAYS

 

Maggie insists Melanie wasn't supposed to meet Nick this way. Of course she was. This is #DOOL. #DAYS

 

Clueless Sami, who has been around the block more than the Google Maps van, doesn't seem to get what EJ is after. #ItAintLunch #DAYS

 

Jennifer: the only mother ever to be found bawling because her daughter is a virgin. #DAYS

 

Nicole stands in the bushes and listens to Daniel and Jennifer. How Shakespeaian. Somehow the Bard pulled it off better. #DAYS

 

Nick searches the newspaper for jobs. How '80s. #DAYS

NEXT!

Rafe and Sami share a tender moment. EJ knocks. I expected Sami to yell, "NEXT!" #DAYS

 

Chad wonders if the fact he and Melanie are in love with each other doesn't say something. I think it says they both must be nuts. #DAYS

 

Between her experiences with Cameron and Austin it seems Abby couldn't get laid at a Gigolos-R-Us clearance sale. #DAYS

 

Sami really thinks EJ wants to go to the Green Mountain for dinner. Apparently she doesn't understand the dessert is Sami Jubilee. #DAYS

 

If you thought EJ and Sami were actually going to do the nasty, you flunk #DOOL 101. #DAYS

From Bar Wench To Chief Of Staph

Notice to all bar wenches: Consider a career move by becoming Chief of Staph at your local hospital. #DAYS

 

Nicole tells Jen her relationship with Daniel is more complicated than friendship. Translation: Daniel likes to play squish the baby. #DAYS

 

Marlena claims she's on Sami's side. That's only because Carrie isn't around to trump Sami for Marlena's support.

 

Jennifer says Nicole is vulnerable. Translation: "Get your hands off Daniel or I'll scratch your eyes out." #DAYS

 

Kayla offers Jennifer the Director of Communications job. The previous Director quit to snap up that bar wench opening at the pub. #DAYS

Heavy Traffic On That Thoroughfare

Lucas claims he's through with Sami. Translation: He's not through with Sami. #DAYS

 

Rafe: Rafe says he'll never fall for Sami again. Translation: He'll fall for her again. #DAYS

 

EJ, Lucas, Rafe, Brandon, Austin. Bring 'em all on. Instead of getting Sami involved in a triangle, let's have a polygon. #DAYS

 

What the heck is the map of New York doing on the wall?  Is Nick in Sing-Sing? #DAYS

 

Lucas claims Sami is a one-way-street. And I must say there has been some heavy traffic on that thoroughfare. #DAYS

That Giant Sucking Sound

#DAYS is so real. Convicts everywhere, every day, wrestle over whether to take parole or not.

 

To recap, Melanie goes to Gabi because she's the only person without an opinion about Nick's release... and asks for her opinion. #DAYS

 

How convenient Nicole moves in with Jennifer.  Now Daniel can pursue Jen with a consolation prize right at hand. #DAYS

 

That giant sucking sound you hear is Sami sucking up to Rafe so he'll drop the charges. #DAYS