A Different Kind Of Lay

Belle says the M-word. Shocks Phillip's socks off. If he'd been wearing socks, that is. Well, in his case just one sock... #DAYS

 

Phillip wants to marry Belle for the right reasons. Top of the list would be they won't screw it up like last time. #DAYS

 

Dario says he'll scout around and get the lay of the land.  I think he's out for a different kind of lay. #DAYS

 

Belle mentions Shawn's motorcycle-through-a-church-window stunt.  One of the all-time classic #DOOL moments. #DAYS

Co-ed Festivities

The kids need to learn that great sports axiom: The person who throws the second punch is always the one who gets the blame. #DAYS

 

Shawn wonders why Claire has moral flaws. Like mother like daughter. #DAYS

 

Joey and Jade wish they were in the same cell. They're not because co-ed facilities can lead to co-ed festivities. #DAYS

 

Belle responds to Claire's juvenile actions in such a mature way by making a booty call to Phillip. #DAYS

The Sludge Underneath A Porta-Potty

Summer offers to help with Maggie's physical therapy. Hey, why not hire Jordan Ridgeway? I hear she's out of work. #DAYS

 

Hope gets Rafe all in a lather then calls things off. The Guy Manual rates a tease somewhere below the sludge underneath a porta-potty #DAYS

 

So Victor was married to Nicole and never mentioned she looked like his former fiancée? #DAYS

Got A Match?

Popcorn and diet soda... Rafe and Hope's snack is better than my lunch. #DAYS

 

Jennifer insists she could be Abby's support.  Right, whenever Abby got to be too much she could just pop a few more pills. #DAYS

 

They shouldn't leave Abby with the crazy people.  Once the nuts see her they'll think they're sane and want to leave. #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Jade sticks her head out the window: "Joey, Joey, wherefore art thou, Joey?" #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Rafe: "I had a mullet and weighed 115 pounds in high school." Hope: "I'll bet you looked a lot better then." #DAYS

 

Q: Why did Jade and Joey romp upstairs instead of downstairs? A: They wanted to take their relationship to a new level. #Rimshot #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Abby: "You're disturbing me." Nurse: "Consider yourself disturbed... because you are... very disturbed. #DAYS

 

I loved the Hope & Rafe scenes today. I always enjoy seeing a wacky murderess and her zany accomplice have a rollicking time. #DAYS

 

April 26, 2078 — 90-year old Abigail Horton is finally cured... because science has finally figured out a way to transplant brains. #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Ben: "I'm back. What do you have to say to that?" Abby: "Got a match?" #DAYS

Unforgettable Prom

 

Talkies

Belle: "I signed the divorce papers and gave them to Shawn." Lucky Shawn. #DAYS

 

Hope talks to Ciara about Grandma Julia. I had to think for a minute who the heck that is. #DAYS

 

Theo shows Ciara his list of '80s movies, "It's a long list." What a shock — they had movies back then. Some were even talkies. #DAYS

John Mayer Or Clay Aiken

Deimos says Victor asked to marry Helena but it had nothing to do with love. Nicole should easily understand that concept. #DAYS

 

Rafe concludes Deimos was responsible for Bo's death. Here comes another notch on Hope's gun barrel. #DAYS

 

Everything is recycled for the prom. Maybe they could get recycled entertainment like John Mayer or Clay Aiken. #DAYS

Abigail's Brain

 

The "Daniel Card"

Nicole needs advice. For one thing, with Deimos in charge, sell your Titan stock. #DAYS

 

If that guy next door thought Thomas' crying was annoying I'll bet he just loves Abby's screaming. #DAYS

 

Brady tries to convince Nicole not to jump into bed with everything. Uses his ace-in-the-hole and plays the "Daniel Card." #DAYS

Rationalization And Ego

Frankly, today would have been a great day to go to the art museum or something instead of watching the show. #DAYS

 

Theresa doesn't tell Maggie the big secret about Victor right away... only because she has to wait to get her foot out of her mouth. #DAYS

 

Victor, Nicole would never marry anyone just for money... again. #DAYS

 

Nicole says she worked hard to put her "colorful past" behind her. Victor: "Oh, it's in there somewhere." BWAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

 

Kayla: "Joey lives with the fact he suffocated Ava." That's more than Ava gets. #DAYS

 

If Maggie's only 17 years older than Summer I'm still in high school. Meeeeeoowww. #DAYS

 

Steve takes rationalization (and ego) to a new level: "I'm giving Kayla a chance to miss me." #DAYS

Move Over New England Journal of Medicine

Maggie says she'll never walk again. She probably will — but only after the viewers suffer through her grueling recovery. #DAYS

 

Marlena: "That experience may have been too much for Abby to handle." NO $#|+ MARLENA? What an astounding psychiatric diagnosis. #DAYS

 

Theresa read an article in the Spectator that says Maggie will walk again. The Spectator? Move over New England Journal of Medicine. #DAYS

Oh, Those Pesky Marriage Vows

 

IQ-Challenged

Hope looks like she's a little under the weather. She probably caught Rafe's cooties. #DAYS

 

Belle: "A girl needs to catch her breath every now and then." Keep sleeping around and you'll catch something else. #DAYS

 

Lani: "I'll lock the door. You close the blinds." No room for misinterpretation there—Even IQ-challenged Shawn can figure that one out #DAYS

Bus Stop

 

UH...

 

The Results Are In

 

A Page From Abby's Book

Brady says Theresa's budget was great. It takes a great mind to do a great budget. How the hell did Theresa do one? #DAYS

 

Hope doesn't want to get together with Rafe. She doesn't want to do something that's wrong. So murdering Stefano was right? #DAYS

 

When Brady invited Summer to sit with them I thought Theresa would take a page from Abby's book and set him on fire. I know I would. #DAYS

Familyland

When Eduardo asked Adriana if she was willing to listen the odds she'd have said no were smaller than Abby's only existing brain cell. #DAYS

 

Hope spills the beans to Caroline about killing Stefano. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Hope. Two people can keep a secret... if one of them is dead. #DAYS

 

Eduardo's nostalgic walk through Familyland missed any mention of Arianna or Dario. #DAYS

Eric's Priorities

 

Massive Black Hole

Scientists have discovered a massive black hole said to endanger the entire world.

Ben Flambé

 

Barbecuing Ben

 

A Hot Time In Bed

 

Abigail Scissorhands

Be careful, Nicole. You've heard of a wolf in sheep's clothing? Deimos uses the same tailor. #DAYS

 

Ben believed Abby when she she said she loves him. He's even more insane that I thought. #DAYS

 

Ben goes down. Abigail Scissorhands strikes again. #DAYS

The Abby And Ben Nonsense

Why does Steve need to drown his sorrows? He's not even watching the Abby and Ben nonsense. #DAYS

 

Ciara asks Abby if she called at a bad time.  These days, all times are bad times for Abby. #DAYS

 

Patch got off the hook but he's still behind bars — drinking at every one in Salem. #DAYS

 

Kayla's giving me whiplash. First she wanted to run away with Steve then... presto-changeo... she wants to run from him. #WTF #DAYS

License To Kill

Whoa! Patch had a fake license-to-kill. That plot twist just might rank up there with Pam's "Bobby-Ewing-in-the-shower" dream. #DAYS

 

Joey told Jade he killed Ava. Patch needs to use that license-to-kill on Jade. #DAYS

 

Brady seethes about Kate in bed with Deimos: "There's no accounting for taste." Is he talking about Kate or Deimos? #DAYS

Flipping Burgers In Belize

Chase contemplates the couch of shame.  His remorse lasts until he runs upstairs to do more damage. #DAYS

 

Kayla wants to bug out with Patch. Yeah, that'll work. The hospital's Chief of Staff could get a job flipping burgers in Belize. #DAYS

 

Hope to Ciara: "God willing you'll never run into Chase again." I have a feeling God isn't willing. #DAYS

Salem’s Miss Sensitivity 2016

Summer tells Maggie, "Try not to move." She's paralyzed — she doesn't have to try very hard. #DAYS

 

Don't be too hard on Deimos for leaving Victor to die.  After all, he did have Kate waiting upstairs. #Priorities #DAYS

 

It stands to reason Nicole would try to help Victor... she's only tried to murder him once. #DAYS

 

Nicole asks what's going on with Kate and Deimos.  Kind of obvious if you ask me. #DAYS

 

Brady immediately decides he has to tell Maggie Victor had a heart attack.  No you don't, Brady. #DAYS

 

Theresa asks Maggie's advice: "You're stuck in this bed and not going anywhere." Theresa Donovan... Salem's Miss Sensitivity 2016. #DAYS

 

Maggie & Theresa form a mutual admiration society and sing Kum-Bay-Yah. #DAYS

Kate's Reputation Precedes Her

 

Kate's Priorities

 

Happy April Fool's Day