He Didn't Bring His "A-Game"

 

Puttin' On A Show

 

Rare Form

Vic was in rare form at the party. If Maggie hadn't reeled him in he could have done a whole standup routine—which Theresa did instead #DAYS

 

Abby insists she was awake when she saw Ben. Awake, yes. Conscious, no. The lights were on but nobody was home. #DAYS

 

JJ: "I'll just be a phone call away." Translation: "I can't get away from Abigail fast enough." #DAYS

For A Smart Spy You Are Clueless

I wish the storm would end. The show is so dark I can barely see my TV screen. #DAYS

 

Marlena to John: "For a smart spy you are clueless." One out of two ain't bad. (You may have to read between the lines on that one). #DAYS

 

Belle: "Why is Theresa on the floor." Brady: "At parties that's where you can usually find her." #DAYS

It Was A Dark And Boring Night

Chad: cutting ties with the DiMera organization. I don't think he means working on the DiMera Neckwear assembly line. #DAYS

 

Abby walks around humming "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"... to go with her itsy bitsy brain. #DAYS

 

This episode's title: "It was a dark and boring night." #DAYS

A Two-Fer

Act 1, Scene 1: Phillip walks up behind Belle and gooses her.  It would have been so great if she'd have turned around and decked him. #DAYS

 

We get a two-fer with Summer. Not only is she part of Maggie's long-lost embryo collection, but she's also back from the dead. #DAYS

 

Phillip says Belle makes it hard to say no. Heck, Belle has no clue how to say no. #DAYS

Despicable

The Tater is putting on more pounds than David Letterman since leaving his show... and that's saying a lot. bit.ly/1UdeZV8 #DAYS

 

What Eduardo did was despicable... as opposed to what his offspring — the murderess and the accomplice to murder — did. #DAYS

 

Maggie declines to go up to the bedroom and lie down.  Apparently she did enough of that back on the farm. #DAYS

Siblings

Act 1, Scene 1: Chad flops down on the rumpus room couch. Did you hear it crunch? #DAYS

 

A public service announcement: For those not using closed captions, Rafe, Gabi & Dario are calling their mother "Mami," not "Mommy." #DAYS

 

Abby: "Don't lie to me ever again. We're siblings." JJ: "Even more than that, we're Brother and sister." #DAYS

The Selfie

 

A Big Cup Of Crazy

John refuses to eat breakfast... missing yet another great Crunchios product placement opportunity. #DAYS

 

When John broke the pipe to get free it would have been more realistic if a glob of sewage had oozed out on him. #DAYS

 

Fashion statement: Marlena looks very chic in her black commando outfit. #DAYS

 

John: "Yo Ling drank a big cup of crazy." He must've gotten it from the coffee pot in the #DOOL writer's kitchen. #DAYS

Extra Slutty

 

The Corruption And Disorder Thing

Hope is sooooo going to ground Ciara because... you know... wild partying is much worse than cold blooded murder. #DAYS

 

It's almost as embarrassing to have your mom break up your drunken party as it is to be caught writing for #DAYS

 

Roman: "There are different ways to do the law and order thing." Apparently one of them is to do the corruption and disorder thing. #DAYS

Cold Blooded Murder Tends To Work Your Nerves

Lucky Ciara. I wish someone would give me a '67 Mustang. #DAYS

 

Kayla says she knows Joey is dealing with a lot. Yeah, cold-blooded murder tends to work your nerves sometimes. #DAYS

 

If Roman doesn't do something about Joey then he'll be an accessory after the fact to TWO murders. #DAYS

Ouch!

Lani doesn't believe in fraternizing with co-workers but she thinks since Rafe and Shawn aren't her brothers they're fair game. #DAYS

 

Abby thinks she ruined their wedding.  Chad thinks she didn't. Chad's right. She took it way past 'ruin.' #DAYS

 

Belle: "You know I'd do anything for you." Claire: "Except stay with Dad." OUCH! #DAYS

Time For A Shave

 

Bootus Callus Interruptus

Theresa and Summer: feel the love. #DAYS

 

Kate drops in on Deimos, but has no time for hanky-panky... Bootus Callus Interruptus. #DAYS

 

Rafe: "I'm trying to wrap my mind around... everything." He'd be lucky to wrap his mind around a quark. #DAYS

Not The First Time She Said Yes

Come on, Abs, every bride's wedding needs something old, something new, something borrowed and a criminally insane former boyfriend. #DAYS

 

When the preacher asked if anyone objected to the marriage I so wanted Ben to jump out of the woodwork and all hell break loose. #DAYS

 

Maggie says no; Brady talks her into saying yes. Given she has kids popping up everywhere it's not the first time she said yes. #DAYS

The Presidential Debates

 

Yo Del Ling

Kayla says Joey loves her and will protect her; Steve will protect Joey; Kayla will protect Joey. Steve is left hanging, I guess. #DAYS

 

Robicheaux moved to China and changed his name to Yo Ling. Then he became a country singer and changed his name to Yo Del Ling. #DAYS

 

Today's episode was the total rewriting of history to completely erase the Colleen and Santo storyline from a few years back. #DAYS

Father And Son Reunion

 

He-Said She-Said

 

The Line

 

He's Baaaaack...

 

A Symbol Of Cleanliness

Too bad Jack couldn't be at Abby's wedding.  Of course he could have been if she hadn't panicked in that elevator. #DAYS

 

Abby wears white at her wedding. Usually a symbol of innocence, with her sexual history maybe it's more a symbol of cleanliness. #DAYS

 

Eduardo might die. Not being a regular, he's as expendable as those Star Trek guys you never saw before on missions with Kirk & Spock. #DAYS

A Dedicated Cop

The kids tell Ciara, "Do whatever you want to Chase." Translation: "Lower yourself to his level." #DAYS

 

Anyone can tell from the phone call who has kidnapped Arianna and Marlena: Darth Vader.

 

Rafe begs Eduardo and John to let the SPD handle things. He's such a dedicated cop... for an accomplice to a murder, that is. #DAYS

Weird Names

 

Ready To Go

Summer busts in on Brady & Theresa, "Brady, Are you ready to go?" Theresa: "He was until you walked in." #DAYS

 

Shawn says throwing money t a a problem won't help solve it. Thinking never works for Belle so why not try money? #DAYS

The Break Up

In with the new; out with the old.

Too Late

Kayla:"After you had sex I get it that Ava wasn't satisfied..." She should've just given Steve a knife so he could cut 'em off himself #DAYS

 

Abby tells Jennifer not to be fake.  No problem. When it comes to being an irritating pain, Jennifer is as real as it gets. #DAYS

 

Chad to Abby: "I don't want you getting all crazy." Too late. #DAYS

The Pills Have Kicked In

Jennifer to Abby: "I'm so sorry I snapped at you." Ahhhhh... the pills have kicked in. #DAYS

 

JJ says Ben isn't stupid enough to come back to Salem. Translation: He'll be back. #DAYS

 

Maggie dropped more long-lost kids wherever she went than  Hansel & Gretel dropped bread crumbs. #DAYS

Young Claire / Old Claire

 

Don't Mess With Victor

 

Emotion & Weakness

Hope: "When you're a cop you learn not to show emotion or weakness." Except for her moment of emotion & weakness when she shot Stefano #DAYS

 

Victor: "Deimos was a son of a bitch then; he's a son of a bitch now." Did Victor just call his own mother a bitch? #DAYS

 

Belle says she doesn't want to put labels on things. Maybe that's because her label would be "cheating ho-bag." #DAYS

His Ball And Chain

Kayla walks into the SPD, "Is it necessary to have Steve in handcuffs?" Not now that his ball & chain is there. Ba-dum-bum #DAYS

 

JJ says "Someone's gotta tell Abby" as Abby stands at the door. Salem folks have a built-in GPS drawing them to those conversations. #DAYS

 

Theresa & Nicole discuss the marketing possibilities of Abby's wedding. She could wear patches on her dress like the NASCAR drivers. #DAYS

Jennifer's Workout

How Jennifer gets her exercise these days:

Stefano's Swan Song

 

A Bad-Guy Bad-Guy

It's still a dark and stormy night:

Thunder and lightning

Very, very frightening

Stefaneeeo, Stefaneeeo

#DAYS

As a criminal Stefano was not in Rafe & Hope's league. Stefano was in the ruthless league. Rafe & Hope are in the brainless league. #DAYS

They'd never have this kind of wake for Victor. He's a good-guy bad-guy. Stefano was a bad-guy bad-guy.

Kate said “My ass” so many times in this episode, her ass should get listed in the show credits. #DAYS

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

What did the opening scene tell us? "It was a dark and stormy night." Followed by enough ghosts to declare today "Halloween in March." #DAYS

 

Roman and Steve talk... accomplice to accomplice. #DAYS

 

Jennifer doesn't remember Eric's kiss.  Two guys in dark suits and sunglasses show up to revoke his #LadiesMan card. #DAYS