Bottom Of The Barrel

OMG! Because of the news pre-emption, we lost 19 minutes of the show. As fast-paced as #DOOL is we'll never catch up. #sarcasm #DAYS

 

Kristin threw a scare into Brady for a minute.  If you can't get the town tramp to marry you, you're at the bottom of the barrel. #DAYS

 

Sami wonders if EJ knows how much she loves him. I'd say enough to give him an escape valve before selling him out. #DAYS

 

EJ says in China he's in full compliance with Chairman Mao's laws.  Apparently even Mao came back from the dead on this show. #DAYS

An Evil, Diabolical Skank

Daniel walks in and asks if it's a bad time.  If Daniel and Jennifer are involved anytime is a bad time for me. #DAYS

 

Cameron says he doesn't have time for anything serious.  You mean like caring for patients? #DAYS

 

Eric thinks the dream is God trying to talk to him.  Kristin might think she's God, but it's not Him, Eric. #DAYS

 

Abby says she doesn't like guys who play dumb.  In Salem, they're not playing, Abs. #DAYS

 

Nicole tells Roman Kristin is an evil, diabolical skank. And how would she describe Misty Circle? #DAYS

Notes Are For Losers

Bev says JJ should take notes. JJ says notes are for losers. That proves he should take notes. #DAYS

 

Eric dreams of Kristin while Brady partakes. #DAYS

 

Cameron says he misses having Lexie to talk to. Well, he can still talk to her; she just won't talk back. #DAYS

 

Ole grouch Cole ain't a merry old soul. #DAYS

 

Abby pulls away from Chad's kiss and says she wants Chad's full attention.  Believe me, girl, you have it. #DAYS

One Of Those '60s British Invasion Rock Groups

Gabi thinks Will and Sonny want to ruin her life. Who divorced Nick then rode a streak of greased lightning into bed with him? #DAYS

 

If you really use your imagination it helps to pretend it was Jennifer who died instead of Lizbeth. #DAYS

 

Nick's jacket looks like something he got from one of those '60s British Invasion rock groups. #DAYS

 

Nick & Sonny, you may be gay but you're still male. Therefore you will never, never, never understand women. #DAYS

Nick says Maggie can't be everywhere at once.  That's what makes it so hard for her to be the town gossip. #DAYS

Roman is upset Sami's on trial for murder. Since it's practically an annual event you'd think he'd be used to it by now.

The look on Nick's face when he thought of his romp with Gabi told us what he wanted – seconds at the Gabi buffet. #DAYS

Nick says calculus is like changing diapers.  Right. It's an incomprehensible mess and full of sh*t. #DAYS

Closer To Total Destruction

Big surprise... Daniel and Jennifer continue to need adult supervision. #DAYS

 

Sami frets she might not have chosen the right dress for jury selection.  What? Does she have her whole wardrobe in there? #DAYS

 

Sounds like Rafe's PT is going to take months.  His hospital bill will be more than the entire SPD payroll. #DAYS

 

JJ says his family is closer than ever. Closer to total destruction, that is. #DAYS

A Miracle Cure

Hope says Kate sounds like a woman in love.  Yeah, with Kate. #DAYS

 

Maybe Vargas knocked Chad's tumor loose and we'll have a miracle cure. #DAYS

 

Gabi, you should have pried Nick's hands off you. Another pregnancy wouldn't be good now and we know you're not always too careful. #DAYS

 

When Will told Kate he was going to go take a shift, my ears played tricks on me.  #UseYourImagination #DAYS

Her Indiscretion

As usual on #DOOL, with an open door, Kristin picks up a megaphone and announces her "indiscretion" so Marlena can hear. #typical #DAYS

 

As Will and Gabi argue over who goes out and who stays, notice Sonny doesn't jump in and volunteer to stay. #DAYS

 

Victor says he doesn't share Maggie's compassion for Nick. Actually Victor doesn't have Simon Legree's compassion. #DAYS

 

Marlena says Kristin has wreaked havoc on her family for too long. I don't think Brady would call that last scene havoc. #DAYS

Helicopter Ho

Daniel shouts to Parker off screen. Translation: they don't have to deal with the kid on the show today. #DAYS

 

EJ figures there is a part of Rafe that Sami cares about.  Right... and it almost got cut off. #DAYS

 

Rafe says Kate is hovering around.  If hovering parents are helicopter parents, is Kate a helicopter ho? #DAYS

 

EJ tells Sami Rafe said he doesn't know anything.  That's for damn sure. #DAYS

A Lying Homicidal Psychopath

Nicole thinks Lewis Carroll must've been drunk when he wrote Alice in Wonderland.  Either that or in training to be a #DOOL writer. #DAYS

 

Sami's in jail, John left her and Brady's hooking up with Kristin.  Just another day in paradise for Marlena. #DAYS

 

Rafe says he wants to use his mind to figure out what happened.  Impressive, since he usually thinks with something else. #DAYS

 

Rafe says Stefano is a lying homicidal psychopath. Hey, nobody's perfect. #DAYS

The Donut Switcheroo

Sami gets a note: "You are a dead woman." I didn't think hamburgers were quite that bad for you. #DAYS

 

Sami jams her finger down her throat hoping to hurl.  Watching Daniel and Jennifer is a lot easier way to accomplish the same thing. #DAYS

 

Who died and made Nicole JJ's guardian? #DAYS

 

The donut switcheroo — finally, something that might liven this show up. #DAYS

War Of Women Worse For The Wear

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S MARLENA VS. KRISTIN: the altercation of the antiquated, clash of the creaky, exchange of the elderly... #DAYS

 

...melee of the moth-eaten, rumble of the rusty, skirmish of the seniors, tiff of the timeworn and war of women worse for the wear! #DAYS

 

So Chad has a tumor.  Unlike most in Salem, at least there's something going on inside his head. #DAYS

 

The metaphor du jour for about the past month on #DOOL has been "under the bus." #DAYS

 

The doctor tells Chad he's got a tumor then he finds Abby and Cameron kissing. Today's just full of good news for him. #DAYS

Over The Line Batso

Marlena's nightmare: Kristin. My nightmare: Watching Marlena dream about Kristin. #DAYS

 

Nicole says Kristin is "over the line batso." That's PG TV talk for batsh*t crazy. #DAYS

 

Eric says Brady's life is none of his business.  Then proceeds to... you know... make it his business. #DAYS

 

Forget the brain tumor. I'll tell you what's really wrong with Chad's head... his haircut. #DAYS

Did Hell Freeze Over?

Maxine wonders if there is something else she should congratulate Jennifer for. Uh... coming in to work for once? #DAYS

 

Theresa says JJ is such a baby.  Oh, thanks for that evaluation, Miss Maturity. #DAYS

 

Brady tells Kristin Eric is willing to reserve judgment on their relationship.  Translation: Eric will disapprove later. #DAYS

 

Maxine wonders when Daniel and Jennifer came to their senses. They came to their senses? Did hell freeze over? #DAYS

She's Shared Enough

I was delighted to see Daniel and Jennifer in flagrante.  My supply of ipecac had run out. #DAYS

 

Yeah, it figures Bernardi was cremated.  How else could they drag all this out until November sweeps? #DAYS

 

JJ asks if there is something Jennifer wants to share.  She's already shared enough with Daniel today, kid. #DAYS

The Straight And Narrow Path To Hell

Marge comes to pester Sami. Does the SPD let just anybody come to see the prisoners no matter how much angst it will generate? #DAYS

 

Brady talks about Kristin, "Maybe I can never trust her. Maybe I'm making a big mistake." Well, that about sums it up. #DAYS

 

Marge hopes Sami never sees her children again. She hardly ever sees them as it is. #DAYS

 

Jennifer says she can work with Daniel because they're adults and professional.  Zero out of two ain't bad. #DAYS

 

EJ says Justin is cautiously optimistic.  The last time he said that, Sami got charged with Murder-one and denied bail. #DAYS

 

Kristin claims she's walking the "straight and narrow." Yeah, the straight and narrow path to hell. #DAYS

Toast

Chad tells Cameron, "I'm out man; I'm done." I believe 'toast' is the operative word. #DAYS

Father Matt says everyone is praying for Sami. Yeah, praying she gets the death penalty. #DAYS

Theresa to Daniel: "You're in demand all day long... probably all night, too." Subtle, Theresa, very subtle. #DAYS

JJ rips Nicole for trying to ruin Jennifer's life.  Maybe he thinks that's his job. #DAYS

Training Him To Grope

Daniel's training Parker to be a surfer dude. I wonder if he's training him to grope, too. #DAYS

 

Cameron says it might be an artifact in Chad's brain. Artifact? In Salem brain cells in the skull are artifacts. #DAYS

 

If that wasn't a cigarette Hope took from Theresa she won't be making it onto the SPD narc squad anytime soon. #DAYS

 

Theo didn't catch the frog because showing a live frog would have put them over budget. #DAYS