If it Moves And Wears A Dress You Sleep With It

Nicole tells Daniel he doesn't have to buy dinner just because they slept together.  Nicole prefers cash transactions. #DAYS

 

Daniel says he wanted to get to know Nicole better.  Well, he sure accomplished that, didn't he? #DAYS

 

Abe says Lexie sailed through med school. That's what happens when you send in for your MD degree from a form on a matchbook. #DAYS

 

Nicole tells Daniel, "If it moves & wears a dress you sleep with it."  Not true. There are a few cross dressers out there. #DAYS

A Tear-Jerker

 

There is only one bullet missing from that box. Wouldn't the murderer have fully loaded the gun? #DAYS

 

John says Lexie isn't gone... that she's there in the garden. I thought they buried her in the cemetery. #DAYS

 

Lexie says on the video they've had 23 years together. Minus, of course, the times she was off gallivanting with someone else. #DAYS

 

The scene with everyone watching Lexie's video was a real tear-jerker. Abe supplied the tears. John supplied the jerk. #DAYS

Evidence Is For Wimps

Will may he handling being outed in a mature way, but with his parents he's still a typical non-communicative brooding youth. #DAYS

 

EJ wonders if Rafe has any new evidence. Evidence is for wimps. Rafe solves crimes based on gut feel. #DAYS

 

Lucas advises Will not to grow up so fast. God knows Lucas didn't.  Uh... hasn't. #DAYS

 

EJ plays the Countess Wilhelmina card with Sami.  She had to know that was coming. #DAYS

 

Rafe wonders how they can get a warrant to search EJ's apartment. Uh... fingerprints on murder weapon? #DAYS

Man Whore

They think Kate's worried about becoming a grandmother. I guess they forgot about Tyler. Of course, then so did his father, Phillip. #DAYS

 

Ratings for today's show are in.  The fact they're way down is attributed to EJ wearing those baggy non-butt-defining warmup pants. #DAYS

 

Austin: "Everything is behind us now. And this baby is everything." Ergo, the baby is behind them. QED #DAYS

 

Nicole accuses Daniel of being a man whore. Isn't that redundant? #DAYS

No Words

Marlena hugs Abe and says there are "no words."  Oh, God, if only that were true. #DAYS

 

Melanie wonders why Andrew is keeping her in that cell. Maybe his suite at the Ritz is under renovation. #DAYS

 

John tells Abe children have a gift that some adults have lost.  In John's case that gift would be intelligence. #DAYS

 

Sami and Lucas tell Will his burden is now gone. Not the burden of having idiots for parents. #DAYS

Weekend At Lexie's

Today, Abe can't cope with Lexie's death. He pretends she's still alive and drags her around town. Title: "Weekend At Lexie's" #DAYS

 

The bad news: Lexie dies. The good news: Her patients at Salem Hospital may survive. #DAYS

 

Lexie shows up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter: "We have no use for your medical skills here. Everyone's already dead." #DAYS

 

Lexie shows up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter: "I can only let you in if God will grant a waiver on the 7th Commandment." #DAYS

Killer Defense Lawyer

Sami says Will needs a killer defense lawyer. Justin's perfect. He usually kills any chance his clients have for a defense. #DAYS

 

Stalked, brainchild Melanie continues to walk into the section of Salem known as Mordor. One bran cell to rule them all... #DAYS

 

Those scenes with Lexie and Abe in the garden seemed so long they could've found a cure for her brain tumor by now. #DAYS

 

How does Andrew know Carly is in Europe? Has he been stalking her, too? #DAYS

Back Like A Boomerang

Victor says he doesn't deserve a woman like Maggie. Yes he does. He's certainly done enough bad things to deserve hell on earth. #DAYS

 

A lesson for Victor: He gives up on Maggie and she comes back like a boomerang – Seems reverse psychology is what works on her. #DAYS

 

Brady and Daniel interrupt Victor and Maggie. Victor says it's not a bad time, but only because his Viagra hasn't kicked in yet. #DAYS

 

Abby goes from having berry juice all over her face to having Cameron all over her face. #DAYS

An Insensitive Idiot

Next on #DOOL -  Madison: "I'm an insensitive idiot." kate: "No way. You're not insensitive." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Melanie: "I don't think you'll find any more dead rats in your salad." Gabi: "No... unless I eat at the pub." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Melanie: "People are innocent until proven guilty." Chad: "That's the wackiest idea I ever heard." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Ian: "I want to offer my sympathies on the loss of your father." EJ: "We didn't lose him. He died." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Madison and Kate talk woman to woman.  Well, actually, woman to hobag. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Kate: "Still drinking your breakfast I see." bb: "It's a protein shake... with a vodka chaser." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Brady: "I'm going to volunteer to take a random drug test." Madison: "If you volunteer, how can it be random?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  Chad: "I didn't want to dump Melanie, but I had to." Gabi: "Yeah, drat the bad luck." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL -  In one of the trashiest product placement ads ever, Brady's drug test reveals he took Midol Complete. #DAYS

The Fool's Parade

Next on #DOOL – Stefano's doppelganger lies cold and dead. Lexie: "Are you OK?" EJ: "Yes, but father doesn't look so good." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – EJ: "I had Stefano's body brought here for the services." Sami: "Yes, but the couch is still available." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Nicole: "I'm so sorry." EJ: "About Father?" Nicole: "No, I hated him. I'm sorry about the high cost of funerals." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Gabi: "Andrew, that rat in my salad was over the top. You know I think rat tastes gamey." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – EJ: "I wasn't Stefano's biological son." Lexie: "Biology is nonsense." EJ: "I'd expect that from a doctor of your caliber." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Nicole: "Stefano, I want my baby to be like you and EJ. Only alive and without his brains shot out." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Kate: "Stefano died before our divorce was finalized. I stand to inherit a fortune. Drat the bad luck." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Kate: "I loved you, you SOB." Stefano's ghost: "I love it when you sweet-talk me." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Theo: "Where did Grandpa go?" Lexie: "Same place I'm headed, kid." #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL – Lexie: "I'll be going away soon." Theo: "Oh, you mean you're going to kick the bucket!" #DAYS

 

Next on #DOOL –The fool's parade of people waiting to ramble on to Stefano's dead body stretches around the mansion and to the street. #DAYS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No DOOL Today, Kids

No #DOOL today, kids. The French open pre-empts the show but, not to worry, we have the inside scoop for you. #Days

 

What you're missing on #DOOL: Roman discovers a prostitute ring. He figures it must be Kate's so he gives it back to her. #DAYS

 

What you're missing on #DOOL: Gabi has lunch with Chad and Melanie. Given that exposure, Chad's IQ drops ten points. #DAYS

 

What you're missing on #DOOL: It's a terror-filled afternoon for Sami. Caroline is busy and Sami has to spend time alone with her kids #DAYS

 

What you're missing on #DOOL: Victor admits to taking Maggie's eggs. Maggie takes it in stride and has corn flakes instead. #DAYS

 

What you're missing on #DOOL:  Sami: "Are you turning your back on our son?" Lucas: CENSORED! http://bit.ly/Mo15vb #DAYS

 

I know. I'll burn in hell for that last one. At least I'll have a lot of company from Salem. #DOOL #DAYS

 

What you're missing on #DOOL:  At first I thought Austin went the entire show without whining, but discovered the volume was muted. #DOOL #DAYS

The Bottom Of The Barrel

Austin says having a baby is new to him.  Here's a bulletin: it would be new for his entire gender. #DAYS

 

Rafe: "Roman reinstated me on the force." Carrie: "So that means they're at the..." Rafe: "Right, the bottom of the barrel." #DAYS

 

Austin gets a call and leaves Carrie and Rafe alone.  How conveeeeenient. #DAYS

 

Roman says everyone who touched the gun is being tested.  I'll bet that line stretches around the block. #DAYS

A Dark And Stormy Night

Today is National Cheese Day. To commemorate that, today's episode was extra cheesy. #DAYS

 

Somewhat of a fashion note: Chad's hair looks like the safe house after it blew up. #DAYS

 

Abe vows he will always be there for Lexie. What's he going to do, throw himself on her funeral pyre? #DAYS

 

All this rain. Ya think they're trying to tell us it is a dark and stormy night? Well, that's never been done before. #DAYS

 

Oooo... the giant bloodstain. There's more DNA on the furniture in the rumpus room than in Gregor Mendel's laboratory. #DAYS

Who Shot JR... Er, I mean Stefano

Salem murderer's code: When you're going to shoot someone you have to pull your gun out in public every two minutes and stare at it. #DAYS

 

Stefano tells EJ to put him out of his misery. Or point the gun at the camera and put us all out of our misery. #DAYS

 

Stefano: In the face of death he's cool as a cucumber. Which is what his body temperature soon will be. #DAYS

 

If Stefano keeps swilling enough booze, he won't give a crap if he gets shot. #DAYS