Pray For Jordan's Baby

 

 

Jack's Shaft Won't Elevate

Jack hopes the video of Claire and Tripp will raise his poling numbers. Right, invading people's privacy is really popular these days. #DAYS

Maybe Jack and Eve haven't had sex because after Jack fell down the elevator shaft Jack's shaft won't elevate. #DAYS

Two Sets of Lips

There is a whole lot of kissing going around Salem these days. I'm foreseeing an oncoming epidemic of mono-clueless-osis. #DAYS

Sarah: "Eric didn't kiss me. I kissed him." I bet Rex is sharp enough to know kissing involves two sets of lips? #DAYS

Sarah and Rex – a match made in heaven (heaven being a euphemism for hell). #DAYS

Tripp: A Champion Of Immigration Reform

 

 

Kerfuffle Over Kissing

Stefan's lips have been so busy lately I hope he has a big supply of Chapstick on hand. #DAYS

Will is convinced Leo put a curse on him. Good thing doctors Sarah and Rex are specializing in curses. #DAYS

Eric, Sarah, Brady, Chloe, Stefan… I can't believe there is such a kerfuffle over kissing with these people who have been around the block more times than the local postman. #DAYS

From Doctor To Surgeon

In case you're wondering, Diana is a graduate of the William Shatner School of Overacting. #DAYS

"Diana is John's ex," says John's ex-ex to John's ex. #DAYS

Ben says the cup just slipped from his hand. In soapdom, nothing "just slips." It's just the first stage of Ben's deadly, obscure disease. #DAYS

Sarah: "Eric is not over Nicole." I'll bet that causes a situation when she comes back from the dead. #DAYS

Ain't it great in Salem you can just walk in on a doctor and he just happens to have time for you… and no talk of insurance or cost. #DAYS

Sarah just went from doctor to surgeon when she ripped Brady a new one. #DAYS

The Best of Both Worlds

Gabi has him on the ropes.

Eli and Lani Make a Porno

JJ: "I can deal with my father." Just don't tell him any secrets. #DAYS

I wanted Eli and Lani to throw it down right there on his desk in front
of the security cameras. Then, the title of today's episode could have
been "Eli and Lani Make a Porno." #DAYS

If you ask me, the JJ marrying Haley would be more believable that Tripp
marrying her. Then again, #DOOL is where logic goes to die. #DAYS

If this isn't all part of a plan, Eli and Lani would have to improve to
reach the level of incompetence. #DAYS

Renting Bowling Shoes

Haley, go ahead and marry JJ. In Salem marriage is less of a commitment than renting bowling shoes. #DAYS

Claire thinks Tripp is obsessed with Haley. Better to be obsessed with Haley than cray-cray Claire. #DAYS

Claire: "I have hundreds of thousands of followers." They must be the same dead people who vote in Chicago elections. #DAYS

Rafe discovers Hope smiling at Ted. That makes it even for him sleeping with Sami. #DAYS

Best Kidnapping She Ever Had

Ciara says Ben was so good to her in the cabin. Best kidnapping she ever had. #DAYS

Steve won't be home for a while. Weaving character absences into unlikely plots is a #DOOL writer skill. #DAYS

Better Dig Two

John: "Here lies the guy whose only crutch
Was loving one gal just a little too much
If Marlena goes before I do
I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two" #DAYS

Protip for Eric: Don't reject Sarah until we know for sure Xander or some other random guy is available for her to run to. #DAYS

At least they got an orderly in there to clean up Marlena's ashes. #DAYS

Eric says Sarah is a loyal person. She's not being to loyal to Rex right now. #DAYS

Krispy Kremes

Claire: "Any friend of my boyfriend is a friend of mine." Any male friend that is. #DAYS

Thing is, if Claire was on the level with her scheme about Haley, that should endear her to Tripp. Instead, this is eventually going to have the opposite effect she wants. #DAYS

Too bad Marlena didn't give up Krispy Kremes for Lent. #DAYS

Lowlife Scum

Marlena has died almost as many times in this episode as she has in real life. #DAYS

Tripp demands to know who Claire is talking to. Even though Claire is being a lowlife scum, why would it be any of his business? #DAYS

Taking His Lips For A Test Drive

Gabi tells Brady his heart was in the right place trying to protect Chloe. True. His head, however must have been in an oxygen deprivation chamber. #DAYS

Tripp has Haley hide behind the couch. That may work when hiding from ICE, but not when hiding from Claire. #DAYS

If I were Haley I'd give myself up to ICE. They will only deport her to a country where she knows no one and doesn't speak the language. Child's play compared to the wrath of Claire. #DAYS

So, if I followed all that, basically Stefan talked Chloe into taking his lips for a test drive. #DAYS

Please, build a wall around Salem. It will keep the illegals out and the knuckleheads in. #DAYS

Kilroy Was In Salem

 

 

I Had To Pull It Out Of Her

Rex: "Do not turn around." Chloe turns around. Hey, it's Chloe. #DAYS

Brady hires a guy to track Chloe. The guy gets caught in five minutes – yet another crack Salem pro bites the dust.

John: "Diana didn't just offer to tell me Leo is my son. I had to pull it out of her." Marlena: "I wish you'd have pulled something else out of her a long time ago." #DAYS

Using an Elephant Gun On A Mouse

Claire: "It's hard to get people to trust you when you lie to their faces." Ah… the voice of experience from someone so young. #DAYS

Rafe has a strange way of trying to establish a rapport with the new D.A. #DAYS

Hope: "Hi, boys. Fighting over l'il ole me?" #DAYS

Hope uses logic on Rafe. That's like using an elephant gun on a mouse. #DAYS

Every Zippo Lighter

Please join my gofundme page to help these poor women who can only afford jeans with the knees ripped out. #DAYS

Hayley learns the old adage is true: two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. #DAYS

Fun Fact for a boring episode: Every Zippo lighter used to come with a penny, known as "the cent you'll never spend to repair a Zippo." #DAYS

Haley could be standing right behind JJ and the Salem Cops couldn't find her. #DAYS

Rafe to Kate: "Good to see you on your feet." Instead of on her back? #DAYS

Where does Ben get his money? Not just to pay for the meal he just bought but for his meds which I'm guessing are really expensive. #DAYS