Lame, But I Had To Say It

Kayla wonders why Steve is there. He came back to patch things up. (OK, that is so lame, but I had to say it). #DAYS

 

Ben says his phone is blowing up. Guy Manual protip: If your phone is blowing up, don't keep it in your front pocket. #DAYS

 

If Steve doesn't cool it with Kayla he's going to lose his other eye. #DAYS

Justin's Honest Answer

Squirrely

Abby wants to do everything right for the kid. That'll be the first time she ever did everything right. #DAYS

 

Serena in the body bag: it's the first time she ever wore anything that wasn't skin tight. #DAYS

 

Caroline says running the pub keeps her from getting squirrely. It's the chowdah that's squirrely—that's the meat they use. #DAYS

Two Dobermans

Yes, Chad, it's called a hangover.  A little 'hair of the dog' would help.  After your binge, it'll probably take two Dobermans. #DAYS

 

Ben says he'll help with the baby. If he's like other guys that means he'll limit watching SportsCenter to three times a day. #DAYS

 

Given the night Serena had, she could have died of alcohol poisoning. #DAYS

Prevuze After Dark

This one is strictly for the guy viewers who couldn't hit the pause button fast enough today #DAYS

Rash, Brave And Stupid

Eve calls JJ "Rash, brave, & stupid." The bravery comes from youth, he was born stupid & the rash from having sex with Eve. #DAYS

 

Hey, Serena, #GoHomeYoureDrunk. #DAYS

 

The real reason they want Caroline out of that hospital bed — Aiden will probably need it soon... or JJ. #DAYS

Suddenly Caroline Is Very Popular

Venus Fly Trap

Will tells Abby it's dangerous to defy Stefano, to say the least. When Will talks you can rest assured you're hearing the least. #DAYS

 

Clyde's file is in a folder? Modern police forces use computers... you know, like for the past 25 years. #DAYS

 

Victor to Theresa: "This must've been terrible for a fragile flower like you." Flower? Must be a Venus Fly Trap. #DAYS

Will's Hobby

Partners In Grime

Chad insisted he wanted to move on from Abby. For a minute I thought he'd been to the clue store and got one. #DAYS

 

Theresa and Xander — I started to think they might become partners in crime. Well, in Xander's case it would be partners in grime. #DAYS

 

Ben tells Abby their wedding will be a dream.  That may be all it will be. #DAYS

Stray Cats And JJ

Once again JJ sets his phaser on "self-destruct." #DAYS

 

Protip for Paige: Never feed a stray cat and never be nice to JJ. Neither one will ever leave you alone again. #DAYS

 

John wants Marlena to be 100% certain. If she waits any longer she'll be 100 years old. #DAYS

Where will John wake up?

Every Time You Burn The Toast

JJ, get a clue. If you get back with Paige she'll bring up your affair with her mom every time you burn the toast.  Move on. #DAYS

 

Marlena to John: "In a relationship you always put the one you love first." Translation: especially if the one you love is Marlena. #DAYS

 

Aiden lies about Clyde. I guess he's going rogue & going after Clyde himself. Maybe he likes getting beaten up. #DAYS

Atomic Armageddon

 

What For?

John: "Marlena's about to give me the 'what for.'" Rafe: "What for?" John: "Right." #WhosOnFirst #DAYS

 

Today was practically the Bo Brady show. Does Peter Reckell get residuals for that? #DAYS

 

Clyde beats the crap out of Aiden. Where's that ax when Aiden needs it?" #DAYS

An Emotional Dumpster Fire

Stefano wants Abby to have second thoughts about her and Chad... which is exactly two more thoughts than she's capable of. #DAYS

 

Whiney Will is an emotional dumpster fire. #DAYS

 

Stefano says he knows what Abby and Chad did, even though Chad didn't say. Stefano has the town's only X-Rated security system. #DAYS

 

 

Low Blow

The only legitimate marriage advice Adrienne could give is, "Do as I say, not as I do." #DAYS

 

Ben spying on Chad and Abby: Someday maybe the #DOOL writers will be able to come up with a scene like that which doesn't shout "FAKE" #DAYS

 

Sonny confronts Adrienne with her cheating. Low blow. Did you ever notice that most low blows like that are accurate? #DAYS

The Shortest Trip In Salem

Kate to Rafe: "We know each other way too well." Please do not give specific examples. #DAYS

 

Serena loves Eric. Eric loves Nicole. Nicole still loves Eric. Nicole loves Daniel. Jennifer still loves Daniel. I need a scorecard. #DAYS

 

Poor Rafe. When a thought crosses his mind it's been on the shortest trip in Salem #DAYS

An Active Love Life

Kate wonders if John isn't happy Paul has an active love life. John would be happier if he had an active love life himself. #DAYS

 

Derrick tells Will: "I'm not stupid." Compared to Will, the bench they're sitting on could say the same thing. #DAYS

 

Aiden looks at a document: "That's interesting." I don't know what it is, but it must not be a #DOOL script. #DAYS

He Knows Not What He Does

Jennifer, JJ and Abby: Jack may be dead but in that family  he's still the intelligent one. #DAYS

 

Ex-Priest Eric turns the other cheek with Serena. Forgive him, Father, for he knows not what he does. #DAYS

 

Daniel says Victor is not being honest.  Victor looks "honest" up in the dictionary. #DAYS

Flat On Her Back

Oh boy! ChaBenGail again. #DAYS

 

According to Brady and Xander, Theresa has a lying ass and Nicole is a lying bitch.  No lie. #DAYS

 

Theresa says without her crutches she'd be flat on her back. A position, I'd point out, that she's had a lot of experience with. #DAYS

 

Whiny Theresa tells Brady she's sorry—Sorry she got caught. To top it off she drags out the tired old "I did it for the right reasons" excuse. #DAYS

Batsh*t Crazy

Theresa says she'll make the best of a bad situation. How can she do that when SHE's the bad situation? #DAYS

 

Abby wails, "I'm so sorry." Actually, "pathetic" is more like it. #DAYS

 

Clyde to Ben: "Abby would be crazy not to marry you." Since Abby is batsh*t crazy, that must be pretty discouraging for Ben to hear. #DAYS

Ben, Chad, Abby And Lots of BS

It's His IQ

Secret agent Devereaux cowers behind the couch. 007 isn't his agent number. It's his IQ. #DAYS

 

Ben says nothing would mean more to him than marrying Abby. Being the father of her baby might win that prize. #DAYS

 

Kyle and Paige on the couch: With the sound I had to wonder if they were kissing or someone was plunging a toilet. #DAYS

It's Good He Was Wearing Pants

"If I wanted to be in as many fights as Nicole Walker, I never could have retired." ~Muhammad Ali #DAYS

 

When they rejected Xander's credit in front of the gal it's good he was wearing pants so we didn't have to see his manhood shrivel. #DAYS

 

Kyle says he invited Paige home to tell her he's not cool with things. Translation: He wants to warm things up with her. #DAYS

 

If Paige buys Kyle's line, she moves into the lead in her race with JJ to become the dumbest person in Salem. #DAYS

Have A Heart, Brady

A Refuge For The Sadder-But-Wiser-Gal

Jennifer serves Alice's donuts. Wouldn't they be kind of stale by now? #DAYS

 

If that first scene where Jennifer was stabbed had been real, I could have died right now and been happy. #DAYS

 

Chloe, Nicole, Theresa, Eve and Abby in town. Salem: a refuge for the the sadder-but-wiser gal. Well... maybe not wiser. #DAYS