Drivel-Saturated

Sonny & Will: Supposed to be cutting edge stuff, but #DOOL writers have reduced it to the usual whiny drivel-saturated relationship. #DAYS

 

Jeez, Eric, GAFG! (Roughly translated, that means, get a grip). #DAYS

 

Kate isn't used to being lectured to by 20-somethings. Apparently she doesn't relate to someone born in another geological age. #DAYS

 

Rafe and Jordan: "Anyone else recognize the warmed-over dialog from when he was with Sami in the safehouse? #DAYS

From Neanderthal To Cro-Magnon

Jennifer thinks Theresa should have tried something novel like working. Say it with me: "So should you, Jennifer." #DAYS

 

Will thinks Nick has evolved. Big deal... he's gone from Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon. #DAYS

 

EJ, Chad and Abby: Well-played, EJ... well-played. #DAYS

 

Abby insists Chad will never hurt her again. Translation: prepare to get hurt, Abs. #DAYS

Your DOOL Reading Library

Be sure to get a copy of Abby's new book: "How To Go From Virgin To Sex Addict In One Easy Night." #DAYS

 

Be sure to get a copy of EJ's new book: "How To Go From Crime Boss To Sniveling Wimp In One Easy Lesson." #DAYS

 

Be sure to get a copy of Theresa's new book: "How To Go From Conniving Bitch To Whining Annoyance After One Teensy Mistake." #DAYS

 

Be sure to get a copy of Jennifer's new book: "How To Stay Away From The Office Without Having To Actually Work At Home." #DAYS

Her Overdue Brain Bill

Theresa doesn't hide the envelope all the way under the blotter.  Hope she can use some of that money to pay her overdue brain bill. #DAYS

 

That must be some razor.  Sami just had her closest shave ever. #DAYS

 

Sorry Trask. Nurse Nash took a dash and left you holding the bag. #DAYS

 

So how long will it take Sami to figure out EJ was behind this? EJ sucking up to Stefano should give her a clue. #DAYS

 

When Marge finds out Joe was playing slap and tickle with Nurse Nash I wonder if she'll still be so supportive of him. #DAYS

A Mrs. Paul's Frozen Halibut Stick

I heard speculation Sami might get out of jail but in a body bag. Nah. Stefano is going to have too much fun with EJ as his go-fer. #DAYS

 

If Jordan was any more of a cold fish, she'd be a Mrs. Paul's frozen halibut stick. #DAYS

 

EJ says he and Sami should keep the faith.  The faith they can keep... DiMera enterprises, not so much. #DAYS

 

Sami, as usual doesn't want to be the center of attention. Center of the universe is all that suits her. #DAYS

 

Kristin reads: "Where do you see your relationship going?" Two things come to mind: "Hell" and "hand basket." #DAYS

Polenta For Brains

Kate asks Jordan: "You don't like me very much do you?" If you ask me, Jordan doesn't like her at all. #DAYS

 

Stefano teaches his son yet another life lesson: payback is a b*tch. #DAYS

 

Stefano accuses EJ of having polenta for brains. That may be giving EJ too much credit. #DAYS

 

When Stefano ordered him to get up, EJ forgot and left his last shred of dignity lying on the floor. #DAYS

Friday The 13th Is Bad Luck

Daniel and Jennifer... I know Friday the 13th is bad luck but I didn't realize it could be this bad. #DAYS

 

Nicole is great at acting like a drunk.  I guess experience really is the best teacher. #DAYS

 

Jennifer ruins JJ's cake when she smashes into it. You can't have your cake and beat it, too. #DAYS

A Denny's Grand Slam

Eric has had so many erotic dreams if I didn't know better I'd think he got his Ambien mixed up with Viagra. #DAYS

 

Jennifer's dress sure is showing off her... wait... is that cleavage or a heart transplant scar? #DAYS

 

Q: At first, why didn't Theresa buy pot from JJ? A: Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free... or something like that. #DAYS

 

Rory: About as helpful to JJ as a Denny's Grand Slam is to a heart attack. #DAYS

A Jug Of Wine, A Couch And Thou

To recap from yesterday... Rafe: "There is nothing I can say to hurt Sami." Oops. #DAYS

 

Nick says he loves his new place.  Anything without bars would no doubt suit him. #DAYS

 

Q: Why didn't Chad's boomerang come back? A: On this show they only come back from the dead.

 

DA Trask wants to know if Rafe has lied for the defendant. Unnecessary... Sami can handle lying all by herself. #DAYS

 

Chad & Abby — Again on #DOOL "A loaf of bread a jug of wine and thou" becomes "a jug of wine, a couch and thou." #DAYS

Famous Last Words

DA Trask wants to know why Kate gave Sami a lethal weapon as a gift. Weapons that aren't lethal aren't as effective. #DAYS

 

Kristin wants to know what's wrong with Jennifer. Father Matt better give the "Reader's Digest" version. It's only a 1 hour show. #DAYS

 

Rafe says there is nothing he can say to hurt Sami. Famous last words. #DAYS

 

Eric decides he should stop obsessing about his dream... as he obsesses on about it. #DAYS

Good Rebound

Jennifer, JJ's a lost cause. Just hope they send him away for 10 years. By then you and Daniel may decide if you want to be together. #DOOL

 

Abby wants to know why Theresa isn't at work.  Let's see... "none of your business" comes to mind. #DAYS

 

Kristin suggests she and Brady exchange vows while they're skydiving.  Without parachutes, I hope. #DAYS

 

As the great surgeon Daniel bolts for the cop shop, Nurse Snodgrass wonders who's going to finish Mr. Smith's open heart surgery. #DAYS

 

Theresa's jeans look like she sat down in hot tar. #DAYS

 

Jennifer lectures and lectures and lectures. JJ: "Twenty years in solitary would be better than this." #DAYS

 

Jennifer thinks she's been a blind idiot. That's not true.  She wasn't blind. #DAYS

 

Jennifer: "JJ's father is dead." Lee — about Daniel: "Oh, GOOD rebound." LOL! #DAYS

It's Not What You Think

JJ: Not only BUS-TED, but also SET-UP. BIG-TIME. #DAYS

 

If the SPD found $100,000 in Timmy's bank account they'd figure things out immediately — that Timmy was on the take. #DAYS

 

JJ digs deep when Hope asks what happened and comes up with the tried and true, "It's not what you think." #DAYS

 

JJ says he sold drugs because he was in a really bad place. Well, he's going to be in a worse place once he's sentenced. #DAYS

Said The Gentleman To The Whore

Maxine says she'll tell Jordan where the bodies are buried.  In Salem Hospital, most of the bodies are in the patient rooms. #DAYS

 

Jennifer says she needs to put JJ first.  Only if she's contemplating going off a cliff with him. #DAYS

 

Allie wonders how Sami will take care of them when she's in jail. Same as she always does... a string of babysitters. #DAYS

 

Kate: "Stay away from Rafe." Stefano: "Oh, what... said the gentleman to the whore." Kate: "Flattery will get you nowhere." #DAYS