Dancing With The Bores

Things improve for Ejami now that Sami wants something—This behavior is covered in the Guy Manual chapter, "Just Like A Woman." #DAYS

 

Places Abby gets amorous: EJ's locker room, Hospital supply room, storeroom... It sure doesn't take much atmosphere to ignite Abbs. #DAYS

 

Aiden and Hope continue to dance around each other: Dancing With The Bores. #DAYS

 

Theresa certainly has a low opinion of men.  Which is another way of saying the woman really knows how men are. #DAYS

 

For #DOOL veterans only: Someone should tell Ben about the "Bra Wire" trick for getting phone reception. #DAYS

Expunged

I swear, Chance and Ciara's relationship is more mature than Aiden and Hope's. #DAYS

 

JJ is so grateful to Aiden for getting his record expunged.  Apparently JJ hasn't gotten Aiden's bill yet. #DAYS.

 

So Eve never got over Paige's dad leaving? It sound to me like she was the reason he left. #DAYS

 

Clyde says people from Poplar Bluff say what's on their mind. They way they're portrayed on #DOOL I'm surprised they have one. #DAYS

Repurposed Flying-Rat Waste

Sonny & Will remind us of  a side of the gay marriage issue rarely discussed. It may be a right but, unfortunately it's still marriage #DAYS

 

Victor seems anxious for that refill. Brady's on the wagon so Victor's drinking for two these days.

 

Ben chokes on the "L-word." Guys' vocal chords are genetically shaped to make it difficult to say. #DAYS

 

Kristin: "Call me crazy..." Bat-guano* crazy if you ask me.

 

*Prevuze is a family blog—I use euphemisms for re-purposed flying-rat waste #DAYS

Something To Be Proud Of

Will and EJ have nothing to say to each other. In true #DOOL form they proceed to spend most of the episode talking about it. #DAYS

 

The salacious magazine story has finally given Anne something to put her in a good mood. #DAYS

 

Roman keeps scrunching his face when he looks at Melinda like she's speaking Chinese. #DAYS

 

Will wanted something to be proud of.  He should have rescued a puppy in distress instead. #DAYS

Hakuna Matata

HOLD IT! STOP THE SHOW! Can someone please offer a word of prayer for poor Abigail to endure all the abuse of being EJ's shower slut?

 

Sonny says he didn't realize Will would sell his soul. Actually he sold his mom. #DAYS

 

Jennifer: "How could Will write this about Abby?" Uh, just a wild guess, but because it's the truth? #DAYS

 

I've been wondering why Clyde doesn't go for Kate. Guys like him can recognize a woman looser than a pair of size 54 pants on Parker. #DAYS

 

Kate doesn't think sleeping w/Rafe had anything to do with his breakup w/Jordan. Yeah, you know how flexible women are about cheating. #DAYS

 

Kate's dress is cut so low it shouts "hakuna matata," which, of course, is Latin for "get a load of my ta-tas."  #DAYS

Kristin, Nicole, Theresa, Chloe...

Mary Beth says when she asked JJ if the kid was his she was trying to be funny. Translation: She was trying to be a snotty bitch. #DAYS

 

Nicole says she did everything she could to help Eric; after she did everything she could to help herself and it failed. #DAYS

 

Kristin, Nicole, Theresa, Chloe, on and on... Forget Eric, maybe Brady's the one who should become a monk. #DAYS

 

Abby says Will getting the cover story is an honor. Finding out she shares that honor: not so great. #DAYS

Ho-Down

Daniel counts Parker's ribs.  I thought he reserved that kind of shenanigans for his female patients. #DAYS

 

It's a Nicole vs. Kristin showdown. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call it a ho-down. #DAYS

 

Eric must still have little bit of a priest left in him.  His hair looks like someone anointed his head with oil. #DAYS

 

Kristin: "I didn't destroy the man I love while pretending to be on his side." No, you destroyed him while pretending... Yes you did. #DAYS

Feel The Love

Theresa wants breakfast to be on Eve. Sounds like a great idea. I love food fights. #DAYS

 

Abby finds Ben stretching in the park and notices how buff he is. Bonus: He's not just buff, he's also in the buff. #DAYS

 

Sami arranges for the kids to go to a "sleep away" camp. Her attempts to dump them get more creative every time. #DAYS

 

EJ, Ben and Abby together. Hope, Jennifer and Aiden together. Feel the love. #DAYS

Creative Solution

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "What would you have done if father had succeeded in cutting off Rafe's..." Kate: "I would have had him use a strap-on" #DAYS

a Narcissistic Vengeful Bitch

Half nekkid Will: He may be gay but the judges rule viewers of all orientations are allowed to take in the scenery. #DAYS

 

Sami says Will must've wanted to surprise her with the article. "Surprise" doesn't begin to say it. #DAYS

 

Rafe wants Jordan to "think about it." Since that requires thinking, she'll have to do that for both of them. #DAYS

 

Sami says Will made her sound like a narcissistic vengeful bitch. If that's the case he really must be a good writer. #DAYS

 

As many people as came to the door, Will and Sonny should've ordered lunch from some place with a 30 minute delivery guarantee. #DAYS

Just Ask EJ

Ben wonders if Jordan wants Rafe back. Does a starving dog want a steak dinner? #DAYS

 

Will's going to blindside Sami with the article. And we know how well Sami reacts to being blindsided. Just ask EJ. #DAYS

 

Rafe buys Kate's BS. I swear the only use for his head is to cover what would otherwise be a gaping hole on top of his neck. #DAYS

 

Kristin says Daniel ruined a perfect plan. If it was perfect, why is she under arrest? #DAYS

Divorceyland

Why does Sami need a restraining order? Because as EJ proved with Abby, he certainly can't restrain himself. #RimShot #DAYS

 

Johnny wants to go to Happyland with Mommy and Daddy. Too bad. They're too busy heading for Divorceyland. #DAYS

 

Amazing. Kristen and Daniel were in that truck for three days and no one had to go to the bathroom. #DAYS

 

Hope tells Jennifer she's always happy to see her. NBC censors cut out when she said, "You man-stealing bitch." #DAYS

Throwing Her Life Away

JJ is ecstatic that Paige is throwing her life away for him. #DAYS

 

Eve tells Brady she's a "real good listener." That's good because after Brady left Theresa had a few things to say to her. #DAYS

 

Aiden makes a move on Jennifer. Jennifer: "I could be a good beard." Or, given her level of perception, a good houseplant. #DAYS

 

Aiden might have more success with women if he approached them at an adult level. #DAYS

Every Excuse In The Book

EJ cheated on Sami. Sami cheated on Rafe. Rafe cheated on Jordan. Jordan needs to hook up with EJ and cheat to complete the cycle. #DAYS

 

When Ben was pelting Rafe the gals looked like they were actually pushing him into Rafe rather than pulling him off. #DAYS

 

Rafe tells Jordan he doesn't want to make excuses.  Then we hear every excuse in the book. #DAYS

 

And in desperation, Rafe plays the "you deserved someone better than me" card. #DAYS

 

Tammy Sue turns into Tammy Whine-ette and runs out. Not standin' by her man, though. #DAYS

One Step Away From Bikinis And A Mud Pit

Rafe's there to talk but Sami has something she wants to say first.  No surprise there. #DAYS

 

Ben and Abby suck face.  Clyde walks up, "I'm sorry to interrupt." I guarantee Ben is sorry he interrupted, too. #DAYS

 

Sami is using the same "broke your heart" argument with Rafe that Rafe is using with Jordan and EJ is using with Sami. #HeadSpinning #DAYS

 

Sami: "Remember the safe house? I don't think I'd be here if not for you." Hilda's ghost: "And I WOULD be." #DAYS

 

Jordan smacks Kate and then it all fizzles out.  Dang.  We we're just one step away from bikinis and a mud pit. #DAYS

 

 

A Slut-Apprenticeship

Eric's feelings for Nicole—You can take the priesthood away from the man but can't take the man out of the priest. Something like that #DAYS

 

Nicole in bed had to be Eric's fantasy. She said they wouldn't be breaking rules.  Not breaking rules would be a turn off for Nicole. #DAYS

 

Here's a switch — Rafe is furious at Sami... for telling the truth for once. #DAYS

 

Adrienne insists Abby is not a slut. What—is there some kind of a slut-apprenticeship you go through before earning the full title? #DAYS

 

Will throws a pink teddy bear at Sonny. STEREOTYPING. #DAYS

Sami's March Through Salem

Sami drops the "Kate-Rafe" bomb on Jordan. Sherman's march to the sea was a walk in the park compared to Sami's march through Salem. #DAYS

 

Kate reminds Rafe they only slept together one time.  I have a feeling in Jordan's world once is plenty. #DAYS

 

Gotta believe Kristin could've made a ruckus if she wanted to when the goon was in the storeroom. #DAYS

 

When Eric stared out the plane window all I could think of was William Shatner's classic Twilight Zone gremlin scene. #DAYS

Abby The Homewrecker

 

SNARKnado

You've seen #Sharknado. You've seen #Sharknado2. Coming up: the Prevuze SNARKnado. #DAYS

 

Those of you at home watching in your underwear... you have a whole lot more on than JJ and Paige. #DAYS

 

Sami and Kate laugh about their conquest of EJ and Stefano reminding us of the adage 'he who laughs last laughs best.' #DAYS

 

Daniel's escape was so easy Kristin needs to hire a better class of goon. #DAYS

 

Eve says Jennifer won't listen to reason from her.  Doesn't that take some form of ability to reason? #DAYS

 

How did we know Daniel was still alive after Kristin attacked him? She clobbered him with the bucket but he didn't kick it." #DAYS

 

Statistics show the main cause of severe injury in Salem is bumping into people. #DAYS

 

So, Sami gave away EJ's (EJ Wells that is) Formula 1 car. Now, that's hitting below the belt. #DAYS

 

Ben reads Abby's tell-all resignation.  Apparently it should be titled, "Fifty Shades of EJ." #DAYS

 

Eve learns Daniel is Maggie's son and zeros right in on Mags' checkered past. #DAYS