Cosplay

See Chad and Abby's full cosplay video on DOOL.xxx. #DAYS

Q: Why is Johnny's film like a pregnant ostrich? A: They're both on the verge of laying a very big egg. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ busts in on Chad and Abby during their intimate moment. Chad: "You don't understand the concept of personal space." EJ: "You don't understand the concept of locking your door." #DAYS

The Hard Way

Trask bellows at Gwen and Xander, "NO TOUCHING." If she leaves them alone in there, I'm betting touching will ensue. #DAYS

Steve to Kristen: "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." HARD WAY! I vote for the hard way. We need a little excitement. #DAYS

Phillip pulls the old "you got some on your face" trick." #DAYS

EJ: "Sami played me for a fool." Nicole: "In your case, that wasn't playing." #DAYS

A Pissing Contest At Dawn

Lucas: "Are you the kind of guy who spends the night with another man's girlfriend?" All of Brady's girlfriends eventually become another man's girlfriend… except for his girlfriends that get killed,that is. #DAYS

Kristen's return reminded me: Where is Susan? Is she still rotting in jail for Kristen? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chloe: "Are you and EJ just… commiserating?" Nicole: "What does that mean?" Chloe: "What do you think it means? Is he banging you?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chloe: "So when it comes to Rafe you've decided to 'love pure and chaste from afar?'" Nicole: "My actions may be chaste but my thoughts sure aren't." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Tell Phillip to challenge me to a duel – a pistol contest at dawn." Lucas goes to Phillip: "Brady challenges you to a pissing contest at dawn." #DAYS

Sex In Heaven

Abe walks toward the light. Now that he's in heaven does Zack get his eyes back? #DAYS

I'm sure it's no surprise to the men in the audience to discover that Satan is a female. #DAYS

Abe: "You're so beautiful, Lexie. Any chance there is such a thing a sex in heaven?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — MarDevil reveals herself to John. John: "MY DEAR GOD!" MarDevil: "God? I've been called some nasty things before but that takes the cake." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Julie: Abe has been around for 40 years. He'll be around for many more." Paulina: "And we can visit him in Salem Cemetery." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lexie in flashback: "I want to have a baby no matter what we have to do." Abe: "It's pretty obvious what we have to do." #DAYS

Tush Pats

John listens to the recorder: "Who the hell is Marlena talking to?" Not "the hell," John… "FROM hell." #DAYS

Paulina and Lani walk right into a sterile surgical field. If the bullet doesn't get Abe maybe the infection will. #DAYS

Paulina to Lani: "Your father is the strongest man I've ever met." Too bad it wasn't Abe. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "The sight of you could upset Doug." Julie: "How can you say that?" Marlena: "The sight of you upsets a lot of people." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lani: "So you're saying the secret for handling Jules is tush pats?" Paulina: "Yes." Lani: "What a coincidence. That's Eli's secret with me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "If you didn't attempt to assassinate Abe, who did?" Jake; "Lee Harvey Merlino." #DAYS

Paws-essed

Bonnie: "It's always darkest before the dawn." A nice sentiment, but scientifically untrue. #DAYS

Justin: "God knows how Victor's mind works." God: "Actually, I don't have a clue about how his mind works." #DAYS

EJ offers to call ahead and have a dry martini waiting for Nicole at dinner. Translation: Get her drunk enough and… #DAYS

Not a good sign when they have to bring your attorney from his jail cell to confer with you, Bonnie. #DAY

Next on #DOOL — Nicole drops her keys. EJ bends down to pick them up. Nicole: "Did you just look up my skirt?" #DAYS

Nicole to EJ: "We have to talk about you kissing me. What was that about?" Well, duhhhhhh… #DAYS

Not only is Kayla not convincing that she's drunk, Patch isn't convincing that he's trying to get her to dial it down. #DAYS

Justin:

♫ My Bonnie lies in the next cell block ♪♪♪

♫ My Bonnie lies in jail like me ♪♪♪

♫ My Bonnie's locked up with Gwen Rizczech ♪♪♪

♫ Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. ♪♪♪

#DAYS

Ciara and Ben bask in the afterglow. Ciara: "That was a spiritual experience." Ben: "I could tell. You kept yelling, 'Oh, God, Oh God, Oh God!'" #DAYS

Ciara sips coffee: "I'm going to miss this. I'm trying to get pregnant." Are people in Salem so ignorant about pregnancy prevention they think coffee is a form of birth control? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I'm not letting you see Doug." Julie: "You can go to hell." MarDevil: "I'm not ready to go home yet." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "I love the hell out of Abe." MarDevil: "That doesn't impress me. I don't want the hell out of anyone." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — In an unexpected twist, Marlena's dog Lucy-fur becomes paws-essed. #DAYS

A High School Virgin At Bible Camp

Today's Brady/Chloe recap: Chloe moves out on Phillip. Brady moves in on Chloe. #DAYS

A rag-tag group of friends and family get together to put on a big production show: Days of our Lives, 2021; Babes in Arms, 1939. #DAYS

John wants to know why Marlena limited Doug's visitors. Whatever you do, Satan/Marlena, do not say, "The Devil made me do it." #DAYS

Roman comes on to Kate. Kate acts like she's some high school virgin at Bible school. #DAYS

Who The Hell Is Jack LaLanne?

Justin: "I'm not just in hell; I'm in hell with Jack LaLanne. Younger viewers: "Who the hell is Jack LaLanne?" #DAYS

John to Marlena: "What the hell has gotten into you?" Or, who the hell… from hell. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Justin must've really loved you." Bonnie: "He really loved his wife, then latched on to me after she died because I look exactly like her. It was kind of like getting a new Cocker Spaniel after the old one died." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I want a front row seat to the premiere of your movie." Johnny: "Why do you need a seat when you can levitate." #DAYS

In flagrante delicto

Scenes we'd like to see: A repeat of the scene with Phillip walking in on Brady and Chloe, only with the pair in flagrante delicto. Then Old Pegleg would really have a reason to get his Jockeys in a twist. #DAYS

Another scene we'd like to see: "Brady rips off Phil's fake leg and throttles him with it. #DAYS

Rafe to EJ: "You know what you can do with your $300 bottle of wine?" Euwwwww! For God's sake, empty it first. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "When I see you and EJ together I get so damn jealous." Nicole; "Don't say that. You're with Ava." Rafe: "True, but variety is the spice of life." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "EJ wants to play grandpa John in my movie." Allie: "He can't." Johnny: "Why?" Allie: "He's too tall to fit on a conference table." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "What do you have for buttering up my hard-headed grandpa?" Allie: "Butter?" #DAYS

Ciara: "Ben and I want to have a baby. I threw away my birth control pills and we got right down to work." Allie: "I don't know what you're working on, but if it were me I'd have jumped into bed with him."

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "I levitated… right here in bed." John: "Without me? You know I like it kinky." #DAYS

Sex On A Conference Table

Phillip says Chloe is "misunderstanding." She calls him a complete ass. Doesn't sound like she's misunderstanding to me. #DAYS

"Why can't we all get along?"
~Gabi Hernandez, 2021
~Rodney King, 1991

They're all going to share in the profits of the movie. Does the contract also stipulate they will also all share in the losses when it bombs? #DAYS

If this is going to be a movie about Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black the credits will have to be on a wide screen. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "I'd vote for you jumping on a plane and moving in with your daughter." Gabi: "Don't you bring my daughter what's-her-name into this." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You have no choice. I'll be playing John Black in the movie. What do you say to that?" Chad: "I hope you throw your back out having sex on a conference table." #DAYS

Plan Nine From Outer Space

Roman tells John he won't fund Johnny's movie because neither of them want Marlena to have to relive her possession. Also because it's shaping up to be the worst movie since "Plan Nine From Outer Space." #DAYS

Ciara: "What was that incredible wind all about?" Ben: "I don't know, but that's not what I had in mind when I said I wanted a blow job." #DAYS

Abby: "You've been very patient with me waiting to be intimate. Now it's time to let you back in." Literally.

Next on #DOOL — Ciara: "With all this lovemaking trying to have a baby, I'm getting the short end of the stick." Ben: "Hey, it's not that short." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "You think we can plan a wedding in a month?" Paulina: "We can do it. It's always fun when we put our minds together." Abe: "It's more fun putting our bodies together." #DAYS

Wham-Bam

Johnny kisses Chanel: "That was my way of saying, 'thank you ma'am.'" The wham-bam will come later. #DAYS

Satan's voice on Marlena's recorder is obviously distorted. After listening carefully, I've finally figured out who it is… IT'S DUKE! #DAYS

Ciara chucks her birth control pills. It's a good thing she got rid of them. In Salem that's contraband. #DAYS

The Ultimate Carnal Sin

Brady to Chloe: "I've accepted you want Phillip and I hope things work out." Translation: "I hope your relationship with Phillip crashes and burns like the Hindenburg." #DAYS

I don't understand Ben's hesitation to have a child. True, it might inherit his wacko characteristics. But it would fit right in. What Salem kid has ever turned out normal? #DAYS

Marlena in flashback: "If you care about me at all, don't touch me. Not now… not ever." Hmmm… Apparently John didn't care. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ben: "Ciara wants to have a baby and I don't. What's your advice." Marlena: "Go home and knock her up." #DAYS

John: "Buddha said he wasn't a god. He said he wasn't an angel. He said he wasn't a saint. He told the man, 'I am awake.'" I always kinda figured Buddha was woke.

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "I told you Johnny was a player." Chanel: "He certainly plays well enough for my All-Star team." #DAYS #DAYS

So basically John and Marlena committed the ultimate carnal sin on a conference table. Guilt then consumes Marlena and in punishment for her wickedness, she is possessed by the Devil. See, they always blame the woman. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "I'm afraid of the Devil like any good girl should be." Johnny: "In that case, maybe you should come back to my place and stop being a good girl." #DAYS

All Three Stooges

Xander: "Justin has more morality than the rest of the Kiriakis clan." Al Capone, Bugsy Segal, Baby Face Nelson, John Dillinger and the rest of the 1930s mobsters put together had more morality than the Kiriakis clan. #DAYS

Gwen: "On our tropical holiday I will have to protect my delicate skin under an umbrella." Good plan. Unlike your virtue, your delicate skin is not yet beyond protection. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chloe: "I'm just trying to show you I am loyal to your company." Brady: "I appreciate your loyalty. It's awesome… but not as awesome as your ass." #DAYS

Jake: "We need to have a good old fashioned sit-down between the warring parties." How the hell is Jake going to get the Republicans and Democrats to sit down together? #DAYS

Justin goes to Judge Smails with the incriminating recording. Judge Smails turns the tables on him and charges him with blackmail. Justin is all Three Stooges rolled up into one body.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Doug's in Bayview. You can send his get well cards to the special wing they have reserved for Salem residents. #DAYS

Abby agrees to play Marlena in the movie. And it can happen if her husband buys her way into it. Or, johnny could just put the part up for grabs on Kickstarter. #DAYS

Since he and Nicole are leaving the restaurant, EJ gives his $300 bottle of wine to Rafe and Ava. Hasn't he ever heard of a doggie bag? #DAYS

EJ is right about thinking Chad shouldn't back Johnny's movie. The way Johnny is putting this together is setting it up to be the biggest flop since The Adventures of Pluto Nash. #DAYS

EJ: "Have you all gone insane?" Pretty much, yes. #DAYS

Abe takes a knee: "Paulina Price, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" Paulina: "No, but I'll take that huge diamond ring anyway." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "This $300 bottle of wine is the best I've ever had." Waiter: "I have a confession to make. I filled the bottle with Boone's Farm." #DAYS

Getting The Milk For Free

I read this morning that Brady broke the record for making the most passes. I knew Brady Black was a lothario, but I didn't realize he held the record. #DAYS

Nicole + EJ: What could go wrong? #DAYS

Lani gets a text. Pauline: "Let me guess… your man wants you home?" Translation: "Booty call?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Nicole: "I've always enjoyed the finer things in life… but I decided to relax my standards and ask you out."

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "I heard you were in pretty bad shape for a while." EJ: "No, I was dead." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "I'm proposing to your mother tonight." Chanel: "You mean you're buying the cow even though you get the milk for free?" #DAYS

Your Nuts On A Griddle

In a twist in today's episode we discover it's the tape recorder that's possessed, not Marlena. #DAYS

Satan to Marlena: "All you have to do is invite me back in to you." One could interpret that to mean Lucifer wants more than to possess her. #DAYS

Ciara: "What if Ben never wants to have kids with me." The way things go on this show you can have them with your next husband. #DAYS

Stop whimpering like someone has your nuts on a griddle, Doug, and just blurt it out, "MARLENA IS POSSESSED AGAIN!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Satan: "All you have to do is invite me back in to you." Marlena: "That's exactly what John said when he wanted to do it again after we romped for the first time on the conference table."