A Nooner

Daniel asks Jennifer if she wants to "get lunch or something." It's called a nooner, Daniel. #DAYS

 

Rory figures out how he and JJ can make enough to smoke all the dope they want by selling some themselves. Capitalism lives. #DAYS

 

Brady tells Nicole he needs some space.  More, I assume than what's between his ears. #DAYS

Toxic, Predatory Females

Good slap, Kate.  She saved one of her best for Sami. #DAYS

 

Can some financial wizard 'splain to me how you short your own stock? If you own it, isn't that called selling it? #DAYS

 

Sami: "I'm going to see that Rafe avoids toxic, predatory females." He'll have to leave Salem. #DAYS

 

Between Sami's face, the baby's butt and Nick's chest there was a whole lotta slappin' goin' on today. #DAYS

Just Ask Trent Robbins

When the mugger turns out not to be EJ, Gabi's going to feel awfully stupid.  She's used to it, though. #DAYS

 

Will wonders if Nick is capable of violence. Just ask Trent Robbins. #DAYS

 

We got more Bible quotes in the pub today than in Eric's last High Mass. #DAYS

 

Jensen dumps his bouquet in the waste basket. As much as flowers cost these days that could practically pay Rafe's hospital bill. #DAYS

Her Whole Harem

Seriously, this thing between John & Marlena may be the most contrived breakup in the history of drama. Bad drama at that. #DAYS

 

With EJ and Lucas parading through to see Rafe, Sami's just about got her whole harem in one place. #DAYS

 

Marlena says she fell in love with a man of action, a man who did things. Right. Then she left Roman and hooked up with John. #DAYS

 

John, Marlena and Kristin all together.  If Brady had walked in 2 minutes earlier, that would have made a great cage match. #DAYS

Tiny Gamer Attention Span

Jennifer wants JJ's undivided attention. With his tiny gamer attention span, I'm surprised he can divide it at all. #DAYS

 

In today's episode, we found out JJ was dealing drugs.  Who does he think he is, Dylan Patton? #DAYS

 

St. Albans is a zero-tolerance school.  If they accepted JJ, they must also be a zero-IQ school. #DAYS

 

Jennifer's uber-low-cut dress isn't revealing any heart transplant scar. That Daniel sure is a miracle surgeon. #DAYS

Close To The Vest

Uh-oh. We began the show today with Sonny and Will ganging up on Nick – straight-bashing. #DAYS

 

Kate blurts out that she and Rafe were lovers. Stefano didn't know. Way to play it close to the vest, Kate. #DAYS

 

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs... you are not Gabi. " New version of "If" by Rudyard Kipling. #DAYS

 

Kayla says Rafe's brain is swelling.  It's almost the size of a grape now. #DAYS

Very Gifted

EJ's concerned about Sami having a gun because of the children. The writers seem to have forgotten about Sami giving him a brainectomy #DAYS

 

when the mugger cracked Rafe's head open the hissing sound you heard was the air rushing into the vacuum. #DAYS

 

Kayla tells Abe Cameron is very gifted.  I'm sure she thinks he's a good doctor, too. #DAYS

 

What was Kate doing in that sleazy alley? She got nostalgic and decided to check out her old street corner. #DAYS

A Flotation Device And Emergency Beacon

The real reason Johnny liked living with Rafe: it was nice to have someone around he could outsmart. #DAYS

 

Sami's upset because EJ won't let her do something. I'll bet there's something she won't let him do if he doesn't straighten up. #DAYS

 

Fashion note: If Caroline's plane ever goes down her iridescent vest can serve as a flotation device AND emergency beacon. #DAYS

 

So, before EJ heads for the pub he slugs down more bourbon.  That'll help him concentrate on the drive over, I'm sure. #DAYS

Totally Wackadoodle

I realize Nick is totally wackadoodle but when it came to wanting Sami to return his money he had a point. #DAYS

 

Kristin doesn't want Brady to see her wedding things before the big day.  Why not? He's certainly seen everything else she's got. #DAYS

 

JJ's roommate got busted for selling pot. Maybe JJ isn't telling Jen he couldn't smoke it fast enough to get rid of the evidence. #DAYS

 

I can't believe Rafe was so dense he didn't see Nick objected to Will because he's gay. Oh, wait, that's right. It's Rafe. #DAYS

Mysterious Stalker Week

Did it occur to anyone Sami could get the evidence and use it against Will if they have a falling out like they have in the past? #DAYS

 

Kristin says Brady is so wonderful... so loving.  True.  And so gullible. #DAYS

 

JJ wants to go where Jennifer hangs out.  Maybe she should take him to the male strip club. #DAYS

 

First JJ at Jennifer's, then this guy after Sami. What is this, mysterious stalker week? #DAYS

He Didn't Cop A Feel

Someone is stalking Jennifer. Hopefully it's a cold blooded killer. Just make it quick and clean. #DAYS

 

Love the way John crushed the glass. That wasn't over-the-top. No, not at all. #DAYS

 

I'm with Anne. Daniel and Jennifer need to get a room. Preferably in Timbuktu. #DAYS

 

Daniel... Anne... face to face. I'm surprised he didn't cop a feel. #DAYS

A Prevuze Cinco de Mayo Classic

We begin today's episode with a panoramic shot of the glistening deep blue waters of the Mid Atlantic. As we pan in, we see a dot, perhaps a tiny boat, infinitesimally small, surrounded by the immense, expansive waterworld that is its home. The sea is calm.

We continue to pan in until the dot becomes a small sailboat slowly meandering through the blue abyss. On deck the captain stands at the helm, juts his chin, whistles the "Sailor's Hornpipe" and surveys the waters like a Neanderthal hunter in search of prey. At the bow, a small girl leans overboard and pets the killer sharks playfully jumping beside the boat in an attempt to find dinner.

The little boat gently bobs as it cuts through the sea. Below, in the galley, the first mate prepares lunch. All is well with Belle, Shawn, Claire and the dozen or so rats that have stowed away on the Fancy Face XLIV. The sharks, however, are a bit hungry.

GASP! Storm clouds form on the horizon!

The storm moves in. The Fancy Face XLIV rocks violently. Cap'n Shawn takes counter measures. Claire lurches forward. A shark jumps and just misses having an arm for an appetizer. The crew has secured most of the items in the galley but unfortunately Belle was preparing mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch. The large industrial-sized jar of mayo sits above the sink and when the boat heaves, the jar comes smashing down into the sink, shattering both the sink and the jar. Belle panics as she sees the concoction of broken glass, shattered porcelain and mayonnaise oozing down what's left of the drain. Everything in the galley... the walls, Belle, the glossy 8x10 photo of Phillip... is splattered with pus-white globs of mayonnaise. Belle screams like the banshee of the Mid Atlantic.

The storm quickly passes. Shawn hears Belle screaming loud enough to wake Davy Jones. He runs to the top of the stairs and shouts, "Belle! What is it?"

Belle screams...

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(Are you ready for this?)

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"IT'S THE SINK! OH, THE MAYO!"

Here's wishing you a better Cinqo de Mayo than Shawn and Belle seem to be having.

The Endless Cycle

Rafe wants to go back to his place and talk it out with Kate. I don't think "talking" is what he has in mind. #DAYS

 

Gabi says if Nick doesn't explain she's leaving.  And they said it wouldn't last. #DAYS

 

The endless cycle: EJ tries to destroy Stefano, Stefano & EJ reconcile, EJ tries to destroy Stefano, Stefano & EJ reconcile, EJ tri... #DAYS

 

Kate doesn't want Rafe to think she's cold... she says as she wipes the icicles falling from her eyes. #DAYS

Since Hell Never Freezes Over

Rafe insists even if hell freezes over he wants nothing to do with Sami. Well, since hell never freezes over... #DAYS

 

Sami says Kate used to believe in love.  Yes, and getting paid for it afterward. #DAYS

 

Kate wonders why Stefano thinks she has a man in her life.  For one thing, she's still breathing. #DAYS

 

So, once Vargas left what's to prevent Nicole from calling Brady and retracting her retraction, so to speak? #DAYS

Where The Guys Were Taking Their Clothes Off

Sami's motto: See 30K and pick it up and all the day you'll have good luck. #DAYS

 

Nicole wonders if Vargas is threatening her. No he's ripping your arm off so he can use it as a fly swatter. #DAYS

 

EJ wonders why Sami went to a strip club. Just a guess but probably because that's where the guys were taking their clothes off. #DAYS

 

Why do people always say "this may be none of my business" before they make it their business? #DAYS