Nothing Like A Roll In The Hay To Forget Your Troubles

Officer Dillon and Bo are in the pub. Dillon gives Bo an envelope containing new information about the Syd-napping. Bo opens it and sees someone somewhere has seen a woman with a kid who looks like Sydney. If that's not a solid clue I don't know what is. Will walks up and asks, "You found her? You found my little sister?" Bo nods, but holds up his hand to whoa Will up while he reads more.

Hope sees Carly at Maggie's door. She comes unglued and unleashes on her, "YOU WHORE! YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND AND THEN COME HERE? GET THE HELL OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"OK," says Carly, "I'll stay if you insist..."

Hope turns and sees the room full of people soaking it in, picking their jaws up off the floor. Hope apologizes to Maggie as Maggie herds Melanie and Mia into the kitchen. Doug gets macho. He assumes the Jack Johnson turn of the century underhand fighting stance, "You want me to handle this? I probably can't take her, but I can give her a run for the money."

Hope blocks him, "NO! I will handle this."

Doug staggers into the kitchen. Carly says she didn't know Hope would be there since Bo said she would be a Mickey's office. "You have to be careful about what Bo says," sneers Hope.

"I'll go," says Carly.

"No. We started this. We should finish our little talk."

Chloe, Daniel, Arianna and Brady come into the Java Café laughing and joking about the opera performance they just saw. They accuse Brady of sleeping through it. Brady quickly consults the Guy Manual and finds some quick advice. "No," he says, "I close my eyes during the performance so I can enjoy the music more." He turns to Chloe, "And besides, it would have been a much better performance if you had been singing."

Damn great recovery. Every guy should own the Guy Manual. It's not available at bookstores, but you can pick up a copy at every strip joint and cigar emporium in town.

The guys run off to check sports scores on their cell phones. Arianna tells Chloe she's amazed at her relationship with Brady, "Usually ex's don't get along so well."

"Brady and I have grown up a lot since we were together," says Chloe, "I'd say we're at about the 5th grade level now."

Hope is on a roll, "From my husband's bed to my aunt's home. Is my life your new hunting ground?" Carly claims not. Hope wants to know why she's there, "You have no reason to be here other than to inflict pain."

"Think about someone besides yourself," says Carly, "You don't want to be doing this right now."

"Wow. Good sounding advice but it's coming from the woman who is having sex with my husband."

"You really like the high moral ground, don't you," asks Carly, "You've been pushing him away for months and now you're the victim."

Arianna wonders if Brady and Nicole are just friends. She thinks the opera was simple compared to their lives.

Troy walks in. her life gets less simple.

Bo gets off the phone and basically says it was a false lead. Dillon leaves. Bo tells him he's on his way to Maggie's house. Will leaves.

Bo makes a call and leaves a message, "Hey Carly, it's me. Hope knows."

Bo folds his phone, "Could this day get any worse?" Translation: You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Hope says, "I never said I was blameless."

"You just act like you are," says Carly, "Look... I know what you're going through..."

"NO YOU DON'T," shouts Hope, "OR YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE."

"I know what you're going to do," says Carly, "You're going to take all that stuff inside of you and you're going to blame it on Bo."

"You're hilarious. You sleep with my husband and it's my fault."

"You made it clear you didn't want him as your husband. You moved out of his house."

"And thank God," says Hope, "You were there to comfort him. Just what the doctor ordered? Nothing like a roll in the hay to forget your troubles."

"You ended this marriage," says Carly, "I am sorry for your uncle. I am not sorry about Bo."

The combatants go to their respective corners where their handlers clean up the blood and guts.

Troy comes up to Arianna's table, but Brady stops his rambling and the guys chase him away. Troy watches as they all chat. Chloe notices that Troy is watching and reports him. "He's just some clown that comes into the pub," says Brady. The small talk continues. Of course, with this crowd, all talk is small talk.

Phillip and Stephanie walks into Maggie's kitchen as Maggie gets off the phone and announces Melissa's flight has been canceled due to bad weather. Phillip to the rescue, "I'll arrange for the Titan jet, which is a lot smaller and less stable in bad weather to go pick her up. My pilot Dirk Dramaking can fly though pea soup at fifty feet, land on a trailer park patio and not spill his glass of whiskey while he's doing it."

Lucas sees Carly's car is there and asks Doug if he wants to do something. Doug says it's Hope's call. "I'm here to help," says Lucas, "Just give me the word and I'll run out there and sucker punch her for Hope."

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Hope and Carly keep it up. Hope screams, "You came back to Salem to bed my husband and then you came here to gloat."

"I never expected to fall in love again," says Carly.

Hope blows a gasket, "You call that love? You murdered your husband and then slept with mine!"

Melanie stands there and soaks it all in. She tees off on Carly, "Oh, so you're a murderer too?"

Arianna and Brady are on the park bench. "Daniel told me you seem to be so uncomplicated," says Brady, "I look at you and I hear music." No, dimwit, that's your cell phone. Brady answers and sees it's a text from Phillip. Arianna suddenly notices her phone is missing and runs back to the pub.

Daniel and Chloe are eating. He asks about her relationship with Brady and she wonders if he's jealous. Daniel claims not as Chloe talks about their time in Europe. She says she thinks Brady started feeling like second fiddle as she concentrated on her career, "When we were first together I was immature and I think he thought I needed to be saved. He's with Arianna now. I'm sure she doesn't need to be saved."

Melanie and Hope gang up on Carly. Melanie snorts, "You're just a bad person, aren't you? I think you should go." Carly tells her she doesn't know the whole story. Hope sends Melanie back into the kitchen. Melanie gives Carly a nasty parting shot and leaves.

"God," sighs Carly, "She hates me."

"Oh, really," sneers Hope, "How'd that happen?"

Carly ignores that and says she didn't know Hope was there. The battle of the monster hens continues. The girls accompany each other to the bottom of the barrel to the point where things couldn't get any worse.

Check that... things get worse. In walks Bo.

Chloe tells Daniel she was a mess when she and Brady first got married and she was his project. Arianna comes into the Java Café and listens. Daniel thinks Brady probably isn't still like that, but Chloe says it's been weird going through this thing with Nicole and seeing what Brady did for her, "If Arianna plans on keeping Brady she'd better act like she needs to be saved." Arianna jumps in and tells them she lost her phone. Daniel performs one of his minor miracles and finds it. Arianna thanks him and leaves.

"OMG," gasps Chloe, "You don't think she heard me?"

"No," says Daniel, "She's pretty straightforward."

Outside Arianna contemplates what she just heard and zones out.

Melanie arrives at the pub asking for Phillip. Nathan asks why she's meeting him there, since the pub isn't on the way to the airport. Melanie tells him they aren't going to Vegas. Nathan wants to talk about what happened. She tells him the kiss didn't destroy the marriage, "You're with Stephanie and I'm with Phillip. There is nothing to discuss. That kiss meant nothing to me."

Stephanie walks in from the back at the same time Phillip comes in the front door. Melanie runs up and hugs Phillip. Phillip asks, "Is something wrong?"

"Everything fine."

"How come I don't buy that.

Poor Bo stands there wishing he were on the boat with Shawn and Belle somewhere far, far away from Salem. Hope gives him both barrels, "Look what the cat dragged in. Welcome to your worst nightmare." Hope turns on the afterburners and lectures both of them. Carly decides to go. Probably a wise decision.

Alone at last, Hope pounces on Bo. He says he's not leaving until they clear a couple of things up.

Nathan tells Phillip he and Melanie were just talking. Stephanie and Nathan leave. Phillip asks Melanie what's going on with Nathan and her.

Maggie tells Mia she can go, but Mia says she's staying because she loves her. She tells Maggie Will's dad is picking up things for the memorial, but she's staying, "No one should be alone tonight."

Lucas meets Will at the pub. Will thinks he should get over to Maggie's place. "Good," says Lucas, "The Hortons are hanging from the rafters and Mia looked lost... and there is this thing with Bo and Hope."

That's a new one on Will, "What?"

"Mia will tell you about it," says Lucas.

Will gives him the bad news, "I didn't tell you, but we broke up."

"I'm sorry about that," says Lucas, "But just because you broke up doesn't mean you can't (say it with him) be there for her. She needs you now."

The seas calm a bit in the Horton living room. Bo says they should ask Mia not to tell anyone what she heard. Hope remains snotty, "What? Don't want your dirty little secret to get out?" Bo says he just doesn't want Maggie to have to go through any more pain. Hope tells him to forget that, "Everyone knows. I saw Carly and I lost it. Just go. I can't take much more. Just go." Bo leaves with his tail tucked between his legs. Hope breaks down.

Daniel is full. Chloe swoops in on the rest of his chocolate mousse cake like a hungry buzzard, "How can you leave this? That's not human."

"Let me tell you what's human," says the silver-tongued wizard of grope, "We'll go home and I'll wake up tomorrow morning and hear you singing. That's true happiness."

It doesn't take much to get Chloe's hormones flowing, "Let me tell you what's inhuman... sitting here with you, hanging out at a coffee shop, after you said that. The race is on to see if they can make it home before they rip each other's clothes off. Can you imagine. This is the couple that vowed to "wait" until they were married. That's like asking a starving dog to wait on dinner.

Arianna finds Brady sitting on the park bench contemplating. He tells her he got a call from Phillip who told him about Mickey. Arianna figures that's why Caroline asked her to open the pub late tomorrow and offers to go to the funeral with him. Brady tells her she doesn't need to.

Maggie and Mia talk in the kitchen. Maggie announces, "I'm going to go upstairs and... OMG! I was going to say I would wait for Mickey's call. He always called when he was out of town."

"You must've had the highest phone bill in Salem," says Mia.

Realizing Mickey's call will never come sends Maggie into a volley of tears. Mia offers to let Maggie sleep in her room, but Maggie the trooper declines. She decides to sleep on Mickey's side of the bed and goes upstairs.

Mia cries. She drops a plate as she cleans up and breaks down as Will walks in. They rush to each other and hug. And cry.

Hope paces outside Maggie's front door as Doug comes up. She hugs him and sobs.

Carly is in her hotel room packing. Bo arrives and she tells him she's leaving. "You can't leave," insists Bo, "What about your daughter?"

"She hates me," says Carly, "You should've seen the look on her face. She despises me."

"Stop," says Bo, "You can't go."

Brady says he'll stop by the pub after the service. He leaves. Troy stalks as Arianna goes. He makes a call and tells Mr. Sleazy the pub will be closed tomorrow and Arianna will be alone, "It's like the proverbial fish in a barrel."

Nathan and Stephanie arrive in Maggie's kitchen. They find the broken stuff and Nathan cleans up. Stephanie asks what was going on earlier with him and Melanie. Nathan tells her it was the loss of Mickey and whatever she sensed doesn't mean anything, "I'm so glad you're here. Thank you." Hugs.

Phillip gets off the phone and tells Melanie Melissa will be back in town after Dirk flies her through the perfect storm and lands directly in Maggie's back yard, carefully missing Maggie's petunias, of course. Melanie thinks Phillip is a saint for arranging that. Now she decides she wants her wedding in Salem so Maggie can come. They decide on next month. That's next month DOOL time, so you can look for a summer wedding. Phillip invites her home, "Under the circumstances, I think the only appropriate thing to do is to bang each others brains out." Melanie decides to spend the night at Maggie's house instead.

Maggie is in her bedroom zoning out and getting ready for bed. She looks at a picture of Mickey and her together, and cries. She hugs the picture and lies down, then rolls over and caresses Mickey's pillow.

Doug asks if it's true, "Is Bo with Carly."

Hope sobs, "Something happened that we can't get back. Oh, Daddy I lost him. I lost Bo. Blubber-blubber-waaahhhhh-slobber-slobber...."

Bo stops Carly from packing, "I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or the day after. But if you don't jump into the sack with me right now you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. And we'll always have Paris."

"But we've never been to Paris," says Carly.

"I know," says Bo, "But it sounded good."

Bo moves in and kisses her. Carly kisses back. Bo, being a police officer, decides the only reasonable course of action is cop-ulation.

Let's see... who was it that made that famous quote... "Nothing like a roll in the hay to forget your troubles."

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