Men Are Easy

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "How is Rafe doing?" Gabi: "He's a vegetable." Ava: "Oh, good, he recovered." #DAYS

Jack is going to use Artificial Intelligence to enhance the video of Abby. If it weren't for Artificial Intelligence, ther wouldn't be any intelligence in Salem. #DAYS

Chad wants Jack to have the half of the paper he bought from Gwen. Jack turns it down. This is how ruthless businessmen operate. #DAYS

Stefan's emergency at the Bistro turns out to be a booty-call. #DAYS

Gabi forgets their anniversary. Protip: Sex is the best way to say "I'm sorry." Stephan has a present for her. She doesn't know how to thank him. Protip: Sex is the best way to say thank you. She doesn't have a present for him. Protip: "Sex is the best present. Men are easy. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: "So let me get this straight: Bobby is Everett and Everett is Bobby." Jada: "Right." Stephanie: "So if Bobby is Everett, who is Bobby?" Jada: "Everett." Stephanie: "But you just said Bobby is Everett." #DAYS 

Low-Margin Soap Operas

Chanel wakes up all confused. She probably was surprised to find herself in bed with Johnny instead of Allie. #DAYS

Leo: "My impeccable tush is parked in this chair until you spill the beans." A quick survey says Stephanie's tush is a whole lot better. #DAYS

Johnny wants to have sex. Chanel says they can't because she hasn't taken her birth control pill yet. Johnny: "So, how long does it take for a birth control pill to kick in?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel "Someday, when the time is right, Johnny and I will try to have another baby." Johnny: "But until then, we'll keep practicing." #DAYS

Kate: "She can't act." Abe: "We'll hire an acting coach." Abe has not yet learned the nuances of budgeting for low-margin soap operas. #DAYS

Hattie: "At my last job I got great tips because I gave great service." Kate: "I thought all the brothels in Salem had been closed." #DAYS

Consenting Adulterers

Scenes we'd like to see: Victor comes back from the dead, tells the whole lot what he thinks of them, and leaves his entire estate to his cat. #DAYS

Holly: "Nous ne puvon pas aller au France. Nous ne parlons pas le Francais." Nicole: "Tous les gens la parlent Anglais." Just to show you how smart I am I did that off the top of my head. Who needs Google translate? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "When we go to Paris, Holly can live with Maggie." Eric: "How do you feel about that?" Nicole: "I guess it's OK. If things don't work out, Maggie can always take her to a no-kill shelter." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Evan's reaction to hypnosis was textbook." Kayla: "OMG… you've read one?" #DAYS

Eric: "I just had deja vu." He's going to have to learn a lot more French than that  if he's going to survive in Paris. And protip: if you're going to France the first thing you have to learn is, "Ou je peux trouver le toilette?" #DAYS

Tater-Tot and Jolly-Holly postpone their inevitable romp because she has to see Nicole and Eric off to France. That tight time frame didn't seem to deter Eric and Nicole from taking a little roll in the hay. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "We just committed adultery." Eric: "I guess that makes us consenting adulterers." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "Eric, I know how long you've wanted a child, and now you and Nicole finally have your beautiful baby bastard." #DAYS

Their Respective Virginities

Jada wants Rafe to wake up. Thing is, whether Rafe is awake or unconscious it's hard to tell the difference. #DAYS

Stefan doesn't know whether or not to accept Gabi's apology. He didn't have any trouble accepting the make-up sex, however. #DAYS

...meanwhile in LA, the producers celebrate the unloading of the white elephant known as "Body and Soul" to a group of starry-eyed suckers. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "So how bad is my cholesterol problem." Kayla: "Let me put it this way… you pretty much have maple syrup flowing through your veins." #DAYS

Opening shot: Smith Island. If you look closely on the left side of the island you can see the tail of Amelia Earhart's plane sticking out of the water. #DAYS

The PA system is down at the Salem Airport. The CrowdStrike outage continues to cripple the nation. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex: "My entire life is turned upside down." Sarah: "So is your bank account." #DAYS

Fiona says she's Xander's mom. Brady wins the Emmy for the best spit-take in a Daytime Soap Opera Awkward Situation. #DAYS

Fiona: "Someone forged the signature on the letter saying Alex was Victor's son." Brady: "Who?" Fiona: "Theresa." Do I hear the theme from "It's a Small-Small World" playing in the background? #DAYS

Q: When will Holly and Tate lose their respective virginities? A: Two years ago. #DAYS

Coincidence?

Next on #DOOL — Marlena: "Someone with a mental illness is more likely to be the victim of a crime than the perpetrator of one." Rafe: "So, for example, Lizzie Borden's parents were both mentally ill?" #DAYS

Bobby fakes Everett's reemergence. Marlena buys it hook, line, and sinker. #DAYS

Marlena: "Someone with a mental illness is more likely to be the victim of a crime than the perpetrator of one." Rafe then becomes the victim of a crime. Coincidence? #DAYS 

God Bless Bill Hayes

God Bless Bill Hayes. He truly worked right up until the end and from "Davy Crockett" to the last curtain today, he was masterful all the way. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Leo: "Dimitri is the last person I did the horizontal tango with… I hope that terminology didn't offend you." Marlena: "It didn't offene me at all. I've done the tango myself – horizontal, vertical, right side up, upside down, akimbo, and even once on a conference table." #DAYS

Julie says she's loved Doug ever since the first time she saw him. That has to make you wonder who was driving the truck that killed Addie. #DAYS

A Promiscuous Gold Digger

Next on #DOOL — Bonnie: "Did Theresa sign the pre-nup?" Justin: "Yes, she did. She has a very strange signature. It almost looks like someone scribbled, 'You've got to be s*itting me." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Justin: "Some might say Theresa is… fickle." Bonnie: "And some might say she's a promiscuous gold-digger." #DAYS

Theresa: "The pre-nup says if I commit fraud or adultery I get nothing." That's a pretty strict pre-nup. It doesn't even let a gal pursue her hobbies. #DAYS

Bonnie: "Theresa was trying to put one over on Sarah and me. What would Charlemagne do?" Obviously he would have her beheaded. #DAYS

Double weddings are stupid unless it's for identical twins or followers of Sun Myung Moon. #DAYS

We'll Always Have Salem

Alex: "What's going on?" Can't tell you what's going on but it's apparent what's come off… his shirt. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "Jude is our son." Eric: "How?" Nicole: "Well, when two people care for each other they sometimes get together and…" #DAYS

Holly thinks that EJ is angry. How perceptive. He didn't scream and hurl that glass into the fireplace because the drink tasted bad. #DAYS

At the DiMera mansion the standard way of expressing anger is to chuck an expensive crystal glass into the fireplace. If Harold handn't kept it clean there would be more broken glass in there than there is in the Corning Glassworks dump. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "Victor had a soft spot for me." Brady: "If it was for you, the soft spot was his brain." #DAYS

Tate hands Aaron a ticket with Aaron's name on it.

That woman listening to Nicole and Eric is really soaking it in. She'll have a juicy story to tell when she gets back home. #DAYS

Holly: "Eric used to be my stepfather." For five minutes. #DAYS

Eric: "I'm not getting on that plane." Nicole: "If that plane leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. But we'll always have Salem" #DAYS

Face-To-Face With a Wacko

Next on #DOOL — Eric (on phone): "I'm moving to Paris." Holly: "That's no big deal. Paris, Illinois, is only a three hour drive from Salem." #DAYS

Li: "I'm as dead as they come." In Salem, the dead come and go… And come back again. #DAYS

Nicole: "Jude has to be EJ's son. We did a DNA test." In Salem, DNA stands for "Do Not Accept" the results. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nick: "You tend to remember the times you come face-to-face with a killer." Jada: "You also remember the times you come face-to-face with a wacko." #DAYS

In The Bedroom

Eric joins the hoards of rats deserting the sinking ship named Salem. The only town besides Salem that has had this many people leave on the spur of the moment is Chernobyl. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "The doctors haven't been able to reach Everett." Rafe: "Are you sure they have the right phone number?" #DAYS

EJ to Stefan: "Stop phrasing everything like it's a threat." How else do you phrase threats? #DAYS

Rafe, I don't think Jada is in the mood for your humor. Which, by the way, isn't humorous. #DAYS

Melinda tells Kristin for the sake of a job she can put aside their personal differences. The fact Kristin killed her daughter is a hell of a personal difference. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "I don't know what I'd do if I saw you kissing another man." Nicole: "Then you probly wouldn't want to see EJ and me in the bedroom." #DAYS

Gabi has clearly had a boob reduction. #DAYS

Nicole to Eric: "Is this really goodbye?" As much as it was the other 100 times they said goodbye. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Melinda: "I plan to work my ass off." Kristin: "You have a lot of work to do." #DAYS

She Owns A Vibrator

Sarah: "You once locked Bonnie in a shed." Xander: "If she can let it go, why can't you?" Because he let her out? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Bonnie: "You like Theresa, Don't you?" Justin: "No." Bonnie: "Do you want to rephrase that, or are you planning on becoming celibate?" #DAYS

When it comes to being a conniving bitch, the women of Salem could use a few lessons from Rachael. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "Giving me this fortune is incredibly generous, Maggie, but I can't accept it." Sarah: "Yes you can." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: "If I slept with you now, would it be pity sex." Xander: "I'm a guy. All sex is pity sex." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Maggie: "Xander turned down the inheritance money I offered him." Justin: "Yeah, but he and Sarah will get it all when you croak." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Will you miss Tate this summer?" Rachael: "Not as much as Holly will." Brady: "That's OK. She owns a vibrator." #DAYS

Booty and Soul

Abe: "I know how to make a killer latte." Kate: "I know how to make killer brownies." I'm guessing Kate's brownies are more effective killers. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "What a coincidence! The 4th of July holiday actually happens on the 4th of July." #DAYS

Has there ever been anyone on this show who MIGHT come back from the dead that HASN'T come back from the dead? #DAYS

Abe wonders what happened to "Booty and Soul." I think it moved to Peacock. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "Why did they cancel 'Booty and Soul?' Kate: "Too many people kept coming back from the dead." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Abe: "There was no warning at all they would cancel 'Booty and Soul.' It just disappeared without a word." Kate: "I'm sure 'Days Of Our Lives' will do a better job when it goes belly-up." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Steve: "I got sentenced to 100 hours of community service." Marlena: "How are you going to serve the community?" Steve: "I'm going to leave town." #DAYS

Maybe Bobby and Everett could both go away. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kate: "'Booty and Soul.' might be for sale. Abe: "Haven't your booty and soul Already been sold many times over?" #DAYS

His Dreams Came True

Stefan and Gabi are breaking the "no touching rule at the prison." Truth be told, they are way beyond touching. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "I need a shower, and might need someone to wash my back." Stefan: "Can't you get Harold to do that?" #DAYS

Stefan and Gabi get naked. Stefan: "I've been dreaming of this for months." As I recall, one evening with Ava, his dreams came true. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: "This is my last free summer ever and you get to decide how I spend it." Brady: "No, the bank account I have vs. the one you don't have gets to decide how you spend it." #DAYS

Nicole to EJ: Why did you give Melinda an immunity deal. Apparently today, immunity deals are all the rage. #DAYS