I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Will thinks Kate would never hurt her family. Heck, to Kate, family is low-hanging-fruit. #DAYS
Gabi: "Kate would never lie to you." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS
Two thoughts: 1) If they put me in a room with padded walls I would have the urge to slam myself into them just to see how good they were. 2) What good are padded walls if the door isn't padded? #DAYS
Hope turns to a sleazebag to help save her daughter from a sleazebag. #DAYS
For God's sake, Sonny, call Leo's bluff and let's all move on. #DAYS
Ben to Ciara: "You are not too broken to be loved." Maybe not, but she's broken enough that Ben can finish the job. #DAYS
$ince there is obviou$ly no love in the relation$hip, why would Leo want to marry $onny? #DAYS
If I were Sonny or Will I'd be taking Leo for another fitting at Rugs R Us. #DAYS
So according to Kate, Chad ripped Abby's daughter out of her arms and had her committed to a looney bin out of love. #DAYS
Hope cold-cocks Ted, then threatens to have HIM arrested for assault. #DAYS
I was hoping Steve might be given special treatment in prison yesterday until I found out it was Cyber Monday, not Cyborg Monday. #DAYS
Between Roman and Kate there is more leather in her room than a Harley-Davidson seat cover factory. #DAYS
Rafe decides to have two pieces of sweet potato pie, one of Julie's and one of Shiela's. What a diplomat! #DAYS
Claire says she's been dumped by Theo, humiliated and trolled. If she wants to know whom to blame about that she just needs to look in a mirror. #DAYS
Sarah is sending Eric more signals than a confused quarterback calling an audible. #DAYS
Been scoots Claire's tie up to her neck. Audience: "TIGHTER! TIGHTER!" #DAYS
Sarah: "Holly is an extremely lucky little girl…" for someone with two parents who died grisly deaths. #DAYS
Performing the Hcilmieh maneuver on Victor (that's Heimlich maneuver in reverse). #DAYS
Wally Kurth and Judi Evans can act. Unfortunately for them Victor thinks Justin and Adrienne can't act and he doesn't buy their scheme. #DAYS
Eric's hangover cure looks like it came out of a 1941 Chevy Truck's crankcase. #DAYS
Victor must be celebrating Thanksgiving by being thankful for his crotch. I mean, you can't be crotchety without one, right? #DAYS
John: "This is the best wedding present of all time." Marlena gave him a Lamborghini? #DAYS
Shiela to Abe: "I still have a job? You won't regret it." Abe will regret it. #DAYS
Will's moving out of the new place. Paul's moving out of the new place. By the terms of the lease… there goes the deposit. #DAYS
Hell hath no fury like Jennifer dissed. #DAYS
Eli is AWOL; Sheila is AWOL; 2 + 2 = Elila? Sheli? #DAYS
Claire: "My grandmother is a psychiatrist, so I've picked up on a few things." Most likely from Marlena's patients. #DAYS
Abigail tries to strangle Gabi. Not the best way to prove you're sane, girl. #DAYS
Take a chill-pill, Eric.
Was that Rex proposing to Sarah or just giving her a ring to put up with his groveling? #DAYS
Chad calls Stefan with an update on the baby since he thinks the "father" deserves to know. In Salem we rarely know who the father is but most of the times we're pretty sure who the mother is. #DAYS
Abigail goes crazy trying to convince people she's not crazy. #DAYS
Ciara to Ben: "You wish I didn't have a boyfriend? What are you saying?" Geez, Ciara, try putting two and two together. #DAYS
Gabi's nails are the same color as the neon blue tuxedo I wore to my prom in the '70s. #DAYS
Tripp, grilled by the SPD goon squad, should answer every question with one word: "Lawyer." #DAYS
Chad provides good reason why hospitals used to ban men from the delivery room. #DAYS
Drugging people, threatening people, kidnapping people… Is Salem a microcosm of America or is America a microcosm of Salem? #DAYS
Kate to Stefan: "You have greatly underestimated your ability to drive a woman away." Good one, Kate.
Hope: "Who would do this?" Rafe: "Someone who loves Ciara and would do anything to protect her from Ben." Maybe it's Doug. #DAYS
Fashion note: Gabi's hip-hugging bell bottoms look out of place without a big peace sign ☮ embroidered on the back pocket. #DAYS
Man, Abigail switched those teacups just like they were paternity test results. #DAYS
It's official: She's now Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-DiMera-Black-DiMera-Black-BLACK! #DAYS
Susan's fawning may send EJ back to the grave. #DAYS
Frankly, Rex doesn't seem overly shook about Sarah breaking up with him. #DAYS
Mimi: "Talk to your fiancee about the baby." I don't think Sarah would define herself as Rex' fiancee at the moment. #DAYS
This party is reminiscent of the one where Claire announced Rafe's affair with Sami. Here we get a similar surprise for Rex. The randy men of Salem might do well to avoid such parties. #DAYS
Susan and Victor make a great combination for lighter moments. #DAYS
Q: What did the scenario with John "saving Marlena's life" teach the viewers? A: Everyone should run out and cancel their Advance Directive. #DAYS
Rex maybe should have taken Sarah aside and told her he was the father before shouting it out like a drunk auctioneer. #DAYS
OMG! Did Rex just use the "we were on a break" excuse? #DAYS
Sami to EJ: "I know you can't hear me but…" and on and on she goes. #DAYS
Apparently Chloe thinks "DNA" stands for "Do it Now Asshole."
Mimi catches Bonnie in a compromising position. Unfortunately, Bonnie can't tell the difference between Lucas and a pillow. #DAYS
Roman talks about the tradition of Brady-Horton unions in Salem. Known in some circles as incest. #DAYS
Shawn tells Lucas to calm down. One more word and Lucas might sucker-punch him into the next county. #DAYS
Bonnie threatens to blow the baby scam unless Mimi treats her to a steak dinner. Mimi got off easy but we've always known Bonnie is a cheap date. #DAYS
Rex and Sarah bump into Mimi and Bonnie. Bonnie: "This is awkward." Awkward moments are a way of life in Salem. #DAYS
Sarah invites Bonnie and Mimi to the party. Sweat is coming out of Rex' forehead like a Texas oil gusher. #DAYS
Bonnie: "Bonnie Lockhart doesn't do virgins." I'll bet she would if she had the opportunity. #DAYS
Lucas to Mimi: "You're more maternal than Bonnie is." That doesn't say much. #DAYS
Surely there is something around the Kiriakis mansion Sami could lift that has Susan's DNA. #DAYS
Chloe and Sami simultaneously run to Kayla's McDNA Emporium. #DAYS
Hattie's uber high-strung. She really does need to get laid. Roman… John… Bueller… anybody. #DAYS
It's hard to make fun of #DOOL when this episode is doing such a good job of that. #DAYS
Gina speaking about Stefan: "Have him washed and brought to my chamber." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS
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