It's Called Cheating

Rafe to Sonny: "It's called cheating." Funny, I think I heard Jordan say the same thing to Rafe. #DAYS

 

Abby says Sami and EJ getting back together isn't normal.  What in Salem is? #DAYS

 

The two sides of EJ: Tough crime boss with Clyde; PW'd family man at home. #DAYS

 

So Ben can't have "guests" where he lives. As if no guy has ever snuck a girl into a room before. #DAYS

Bag Balm

Aiden tells Chase he's having lunch with Hope and that's all there is to it. Then his pants burst into flame. #DAYS

 

John wonders why he is in the hospital. The morgue rejected him because he was breathing. #DAYS

 

Clyde insists, "I clean up real nice." That's because people from Poplar Bluff shower with Bag Balm. http://bit.ly/raBTo #DAYS

 

Clyde tells Kate: "I'm prepared to go all in." I'm sure he is. I'll bet he's prepared to invest all his money, too. #DAYS

Telegraphing Your Pitches

Caroline keeps pressing Hope for what she's there to say. Caroline is as dense as a San Francisco morning fog in a thermal inversion. #DAYS

 

EJ wonders how he was so lucky to attract Sami.  You dropped a towel. #DAYS

 

I keep waiting for John to tell Brady and Marlena: "Let's pick up where we left off... I hate you both." #DAYS

 

Stefano: "The best laid priests..." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

 

Theresa: "What if John wants to make someone else pay?" Kid, in baseball, what you are doing is called telegraphing your pitches. #DAYS

 

Notice EJ risked Sami's wrath AFTER they had sex. This is the standard protocol as set forth in the Guy Manual. #DAYS

Accessory After The Fact

John wakes up... but will he ever be able to squint again... or do #SmellTheFart acting... or call someone "pal?" #DAYS

 

Daniel orders WiFi hooked up to John's vitals.  If the provider is Comcast, he'll die for sure. #DAYS

 

Eve says she's not going to be roped into being an accessory after the fact.  You already are one, Eve. #DAYS

No Firearms Involved

Why does a conversation between Theresa and Eric call for dripping faucet music? #DAYS

 

Theresa thinks there may be a God since John isn't waking up. Right, Theresa, and He wants to be your accomplice in murder. #DAYS

 

Sami... EJ... passion... desire... & right on cue Sami tells him to stop. For EJ "protection" would be duct tape for Sami's mouth. #DAYS

 

But in the end it was a red-letter day for Ejami fans as Sami and EJ got back into the bedroom... amazingly with no firearms involved. #DAYS

One Mistake

Jordan: "What is Jeremiah doing here?" Among other things, staring at your dress with the built-in push-up bra. #DAYS

 

Frankly, even in a tight job market my response to Chad would be "Bite me, find a new barkeeper." #DAYS

 

Kate: "Sami has no more originality than a dime store greeting card." Or a #DOOL writer? #DAYS

 

Kate rants about Sami's "one mistake." Yeah, "one mistake" practically everyone in Salem has made, first and foremost Kate. #DAYS

Dr. Strangelove

Roman sees Sami and EJ entangled: "What the hell are you doing?" Has it been that long, Roman? #DAYS

 

Chad uses the DiMera name for one thing it's good for — to keep Jeremiah from beating the crap out of him. #DAYS

 

When Will suddenly grabbed his foot it reminded me of the Tourette syndrome plagued Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove. #DAYS

 

Be careful around Kate, Roman. Don't forget, the last time you slept with her, you died. #DAYS

The Official Salem Medical Condition

Hope isn't certain where Bo is.  Call Billie Reed. She'll probably know. #DAYS

 

Hope isn't exactly pure as the driven snow. If not for her 12-month pregnancy, Ciara would have to be Patrick Lockhart's kid. #DAYS

 

Theresa's hope is John has amnesia. That's likely. Amnesia is the official Salem medical condition. #DAYS

 

Sami assures Kate she's still not sleeping with EJ. Poor EJ has been cut off more times than Sami's chronic split ends." #DAYS

I Get All Tingly

Oooo... I get all tingly when Daniel and Jennifer are on. I also get tingly when I'm just about to hurl. #DAYS

 

Face it. Theresa's girl swing wouldn't have given John a headache, let alone put him in a coma.  #DAYS

 

Abby and Jennifer alert JJ there will be booze and drugs at the party.  JJ can't wait to rush out. #DAYS

 

Fashion statement: Why is Theresa wearing that red pizza plate on her wrist? It can serve as a shield if Kristin attacks her. #DAYS

 

Kristin offers an olive branch. Jennifer grabs it and slaps her silly with it. #DAYS

 

Paige has to take Mary Beth to the hospital.  How conveeeeeeenient.  Rory gets drunk. How conveeeeeeeeenient.  #DAYS

That Pesky FDA Approval Process

The ridiculousness of the "secret formula" thing: To hell with that pesky FDA approval process. #DAYS

 

That's right. The FDA may have its experimental programs, but they usually don't involve the use of "secret formulas." #DAYS

 

Kristin's list of "things that are whipped." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

 

Sami: "If this was fiction I wouldn't be the heroine." I hate to break viewer's bubbles, but this IS fiction. #DAYS

Hellloooooo, Newman

If Eve gets a theme song, how about one for Daniel and Jennifer... maybe long, hard fingernails slooooowwwlllyy scraping a blackboard? #DAYS

 

EJ says he would spend the rest of his life making it up.  Does that mean begging for forgiveness each time he fools around? #DAYS

 

Looks like Aiden advised Mark Newman not to show up. I wish he would. I was dying to say, "Hellloooooo, Newman." #DAYS

 

Jennifer says she has an emergency at the hospital — The emergency is if she doesn't show up at least once a week they'll fire her. #DAYS

Walk of Fame

I think I deserve it. #NoEgoInvolved

Touching, Caressing, Writhing

Abigail just can't resist the lure of storerooms. I don't even want to think of what she would do in a warehouse. #DAYS

 

Jennifer welcomes the class of 2018. That must be for Paige. By 2018 JJ's career as an assistant burger flipper will be well underway. #DAYS

 

Oh, that scene where their bare flesh was touching, caressing, writhing! I'm talking about EJ's thumb and Sami's pinky, of course. #DAYS

 

Eve's giving Jill $2.000 to get to Kentucky. Two grand might get her there, but will it keep her there?" #DAYS

What To Do In A Crisis

A Broken-Down Whore

Rafe, separate Kate and Sami and THEN ask each of them what Stefano said. #DAYS

 

Kate's mad because the story is Stefano called her a broken-down whore. It must be the 'broken down' part she objects to. #DAYS

 

EJ and Clyde: The mobster and the mountain man... it's got possibilities. #DAYS

The Black Hole Of Remorse

Good God, Will, you're spiraling into the black hole of remorse. WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN? #DAYS

 

Sami and Kate wonder what Stefano might do to them. He could really punish them by making them wear those ugly glasses all the time. #DAYS

 

That's How I Roll

I don't know whether to roll my eyes or roll on the floor with laughter over the missing formula plot. Either way, that's how I roll. #DAYS

 

I can't wait until Marlena pulls this off and John wakes up and tells her to buzz off. #DAYS

 

Hope doesn't want to stir up a hornet's nest. But she vows to speak to Sami about Abby and stir up a Horton's nest. #DAYS

The Missing Formula Trick

Sami vs. Nicole: Battle of the boobs. And by "boobs," I don't mean ignorant, foolish oafs. Need I elaborate? #DAYS

 

Eric, rather than ordering Nicole to leave, you could go.  I know that level of thinking is a stretch for you but... #DAYS

 

Oh, goodie, yet another #DOOL experimental drug. How original. #DAYS

 

The "missing formula trick" is to #DOOL like the "hidden ball trick" is to baseball; and neither one ever works in real life. #DAYS

Daniel Gets An Eye-Full

Nicole leans over to pick up papers she dropped and Daniel soaks in the view.

Calling All Guys!

A reality check for Nicole: Eric is a good lookin' guy, eligible bachelor who's prospects probably go beyond a washed-up porn star. #DAYS

 

CALLING ALL GUYS! Nicole's dress is cut low enough we may have to give today's show an X-Rating.

 

Nicole: "Daniel, if I left town, would you miss me?" He'd miss the view. #DAYS

 

Daniel to Kristin: "You make my stomach turn, my skin crawl." Sounds more like all his drinking has caught up with him. #DAYS

 

Brady, when Theresa asked, "RUOK," that is not French for "roll me over in the clover." #DAYS

Labor Day Pictorial

Days Of Our Lives took a break on Labor Day. Prevuze didn't.