Thursday, September 10, 2009

Slutty

The schlemozzle at Bo and Hope's house is in full swing. Justin and Dean roll across the floor. Hope screams for Ciara to run, turns and digs into her purse for her gun. Dean dispatches Justin and whirls around. He pushes Hope into the fireplace. Her head slams against the stone wall and she drops to the floor. Ouch. Those are expensive stones. I sure hope they didn't get damaged.

Phillip tells Melanie he's taken her for granted and moves in. Melanie is receptive. Brady walks in, "Excuse me... am I interrupting something?"

Arianna strolls in the park and calls an unknown person. She leaves a message, "Call me as soon as you get this. We have to talk. Something's happened." Hmmm... not on this show.

Victor just happens to find her and asks what's wrong. She tells him he knows darn well what's happened. Victor tells her she's made a wise decision.

Mia sits in the Java Café and pours her heart out into her computer, "My feelings for Chad haven't changed and I don't know what to do." Will comes in.

Bo sits in the pub staring at a family picture as Roman comes in. Roman looks over Bo's shoulder at the picture, "I wonder how a doofus like you wound up with such gorgeous women in your life."

"I don't know about Ciara," says Bo, "but it would take a doofus to marry Hope." Roman sits and they talk about the fact that the witless witness didn't pan out. "Maybe," says Bo, "Brenda and Kyle really did pull this off themselves."

"It ended well," says Roman, "That's the main thing. You saved Ciara."

Bo scratches his head, "Yes, we saved Ciara, but saving our marriage is a different matter."

Ciara checks out Hope as Justin pops up and attacks Dean. The two roll around the floor until a gun goes off. Both lie there still and lifeless. Finally, Dean pushes Justin off and gets up. Hope and Dean stare.

Roman tells Bo he made a tough decision, "Giving in to the kidnappers would have been just as risky."

"I should have been a team player," says Bo. Roman tries to be upbeat, but Bo doesn't buy it. He tells Roman he hasn't had a vision, or a thought for that matter, since he got hit on the head, "And Justin has inserted himself into the picture."

Dean tells Hope not to move as she screams for Justin to wake up. Dean turns and caps Justin, Justin case he isn't dead.

Melanie greets Brady who is there to pick up some brochures for Maggie, who is too busy dishing dirt to come back to her own house. Melanie tells him Phillip came by to apologize. Phillip thanks Brady for taking the porno off the Internet. "Glad to do it, pal," says Brady, "And things really seem to be working well for you. You lost Stephanie and hooked up with Melanie without missing a beat. I've got two questions for you, "What the hell is your problem, and what are you thinking?"

Prevuze

Meanwhile, Victor and Arianna snipe at each other. Arianna snorts, "You said I could either end things with your grandson or tell him that I'm a drug dealer. Some choice. How can I ever repay you?"

Victor tells her they are a lot alike. They don't let anything stand in their way. He tells her she should go home, "There are a lot of unsavory people in the park this time of night, you know."

Mia types and spills her coffee. She gets up and leaves to get some napkins. Will comes over and starts to clean up. He reads what's on the screen as Mia come back and gives him a look of disgust. Meanwhile, the laptop sits in a pool of coffee, shorts out and bursts into flame.

Chad and Maggie bump into each other outside the pub. Maggie's says she knows Mia lied for him and wants to have a little chat. A little chat with Maggie makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a walk in the park.

Bo rants about Justin butting into his life.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the standoff continues. Hope begs Dean to take the money, "You can walk out a rich man. Five million dollars. Think about it. That's enough to bribe someone to marry Lucas Horton." Dean says he knows if he gets caught cops don't last long in prison.

Suddenly, Hope looks over Dean's shoulder, "BO!" Dean whirls around to look. Hope screams, "RUN CIARA!" Hope and Dean struggle.

Brady tells Melanie Phillip was using her, "He took advantage of you and you wound up in a sleazy video on the Internet." He turns to Phillip, "Were you too cheap to pay for a good motel?"

Melanie defends their little loooovvvveee shed, "It was cozy."

"Was it cozy when Grabowski was taping you," asks Brady.

Melanie settles him down. She claims she knows what she's getting into. Phillip says he knows he messed up but for the record was not using Melanie and cares deeply about her, "I don't regret the night we spent together. In fact I'm hoping for another real soon."

Melanie suggests Phillip leave. He shuffles out. Brady says he didn't want to upset her. She says he did. He asks if she is still in love with Phillip.

Mia lectures Will for reading her journal, "You know my writing is private. How much did you read?"

"I got quite an eyeful," says Will, "Until I couldn't see through the black smoke pouring out of the computer. What's going on between you and Chad? You wrote that you have a bond that can't be broken. What does that mean?"

"Uh, I think it means we have a bond that can't be broken."

Maggie suspects Chad may be dangerous. She wants to know why he broke in. Chad says, "Mia has a secret, and I'm gonna find out what it is."

Roman has a suggestion, "Why don't you and Hope get away from Salem for some quality time?"

"You mean take separate trips?"

"I mean," says Roman, "Get away and clear your mind."

"I don't have to get away for my mind to be clear of everything," says Bo.

Dean gives Hope another fireplace noogie, turns and chases Ciara down and the standoff is back to square one. We pan in on lifeless Justin.

Melanie says, "Just because I sleep with someone doesn't mean I'm in love with them." She hesitates and thinks about that, "Sounds slutty, doesn't it?"

"Slutty," says Brady, "No. The word that came to my mind was 'tramp.'" Brady says he wants to be a friend and doesn't want to see her get hurt. Melanie wonders if he doesn't have his own love life to take care of. Brady becomes evasive about that, but Melanie presses and he drops the breakup bomb. Speak of the devil... Arianna pokes her head through the back door.

Mia insists there is nothing going on between her and Chad, "It's over now."

Will asks, "Do you still care about him?"

"No," says Mia, "We're really not even friends any more."

"I wish I could believe that," says Will, "but I can't."

Chad says, "I still care about Mia, but I know she's keeping something from me. If I could find out what the secret is, maybe she wouldn't be so cold to me." Maggie lectures him for breaking into her house. Chad apologizes, "I'm sorry, but I'm going crazy trying to figure what she's keeping from me."

Prevuze

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Are you ready for this?
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Gird your loins...
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A HANGING CHAD.

Dean tells Hope he wants a rope, duct tape and bleach, so he can tie them up and clean up Justin's mess.

Justin comes back to life and twiddles his cell phone. Hope heads for the garage to get the supplies. Dean stops her and says the neighbors will see them if they go out there. Justin continues to twiddle and finally manages to make a connection.

Bo's phone rings. He looks at the caller-ID, "Justin – Last person I want to hear from."

Arianna apologizes for busting in and says she just came by to make sure Melanie is OK. Brady ducks out. Melanie asks if the breakup is true.

"Yes," says Arianna.

Melanie gasps, "Have you lost your mind?"

Phillip stops by the mansion to get his things. Victor says he heard about the Internet porn caper. "Go ahead," says give me the lecture."

Victor grins, "All I have to say is bravo!"

Will asks about the dance in the Cheatin' Heart, "When I walked in, you and Chad were staring at each other like there was no one else in the room."

"You are imagining things," says Mia, "I danced with you because you are the only one I want to dance with."

"That's not what it says in your journal," says Will.

"I wrote about you too," whines Mia.

"Oh," says Will, "I wondered who you meant when you talked about the cheesy little mop-haired dweeb. You're keeping all kinds of stuff from me. I'm tired of you having to explain. I can't trust you any more."

Bo answers his phone. Silence... Bo yells, "Hello?" Silence.

Suddenly, Bo overhears Hope begging Dean, "Please don't hurt Ciara." Bo scoots.

Dean says, "Sorry Hope. No child left behind. I've already made up my mind." Hope asks why he kidnapped Ciara in the first place. "Because you stole my job," says Dean, "You whored your way up the ranks."

Hope agrees with him and begs him to leave Ciara at home. Dean refuses and tells her to stop stalling. Hope takes him upstairs to get the supplies he wants.

Run Bo. See Bo run. Run, Bo, run.

Arianna tells Melanie things weren't really serious with Brady, "I did what I had to do."

"You're not making sense," says Melanie.

"I'm playing it straight from the script," says Arianna.

"That explains it," says Melanie.


"Brady deserves someone better than me," says Arianna, "I am not good enough for him." Brady walks in.

Phillip is incredulous, "So after years of seeking your approval this is the way I finally get it... by winding up in an Internet porno?"

Victor says now Stephanie knows she doesn't hold all the cards, "She pressured you into leaving your family. Phillip, I'm asking you not to move out."

Will wants to know if Mia has any other secrets to tell him, "It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, it's over. We're done." He gets up. Mia chases and tells him they can work things out. Will tells her it's over unless she blabs her secret.

Chad says he knows Mia never abused drugs and wonders why she lied about it. Maggie reminds Chad Mia is dating Will, "You have to get over her."

"Been there," says Chad, "You know, people think I'm a player. I'm not. Once I met Mia there were no other girls for me. Don't tell me to get over her because I can't."

Dean and Hope come back downstairs. Justin moans. Dean walks over to him, "I guess I have to finish the job." He aims his gun at Justin and starts to pop him again.

LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! NO! IT'S...

SUPER-BO!

Super-Bo rushes in and we have another rolling contest.

Brady says he can't find the brochures. Arianna takes a hike. As she goes, she turns and tells Brady, "Salem is a small town and we're bound to run into each other once in a while. If you see me, pretend you didn't and I'll do the same."

"That works for me," says Brady. Outside, Arianna stares.

Phillip rejects Victor's offer. Victor says Phillip can come back on his own terms. you can bus tables at the Brady pub if you want. Max' job is open. I will worry about you less if you're under my roof.

Phillip says, "I know why you want me to live here. You want to keep tabs on me."

"I just want to see more of your videos," says Victor, "I love you. I want you to have a good life."

"I love you too," says Phillip. Hugs. Phillip decides to stay. He thanks Victor for wanting him there even though he won't be at Titan.

ATTENTION, AUDIENCE! BARF BAGS ARE LOCATED IN THE SEAT POCKET IN FRONT OF YOU.

Mia sits and broods. Chad shows up. Now she really has something to brood about. She tells him Will broke up with her.

"Drat the bad luck," says Chad, "Maybe now you and I can..."

She interrupts and jumps down his throat, "There is no chance. Not after what happened."

Arianna calls and demands a meeting with the big boss, "...or I will take my business elsewhere."

It's the long anticipated Bo and Dean smackdown. Bo beats the crap out of him. Two cops rush in and pull them apart. Ciara runs to Bo. Hope checks out Justin and screams for someone to call an ambulance. Bo and Hope's eyes lock.

Maggie finds Will outside the pub. Will is dejected, so Maggie's gossip antennae immediately spring up. He tells her about his breakup with Mia, "She wasn't being honest with me. I think it had something to do with Chad." Maggie hugs.

Chad asks, "Why do you have a grudge against me?" He takes out a megaphone, turns up the volume and asks, "IS IT ABOUT US SLEEPING TOGETHER?"

Mia cringes, "SHHHH!"

"Didn't it turn out the way you expected," he asks.

"Nothing did," snorts Mia, "You ruined things for me. Leave me alone." She runs out.

Brady and Melanie have found the elusive brochures. She tells him she knows Arianna still loves him.

Arianna stands in an unfamiliar room and talks to an unseen person, "Thank you for meeting me. I can't do this any more. Please don't make me do this." She breaks down.

Roman hands her a hankie.

Bo reassures Ciara. Dean taunts, "What you have done will cause your little girl to have nightmares for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Bo growls, "Get him out of here." They haul Dean out kicking and screaming.

Bo stares at Hope. Hope stares at Bo. We pan out, expecting Bo to turn to stone at any second.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


9 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

So I leave town again and come back to this?

"Call me as soon as you get this. We have to talk. Something's happened." Hmmm... not on this show. Ain't that the truth. No movement, none!

Although I did groan when I read Hanging Chad Penalty flag for that one. I mean it's almost as bad as two faced Phillip.

How many of you were cheering Dean on - Of course, Hope survived but for a minute there....Hope reigned.

I reject any penalty flags thrown!

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Phillip tells Melanie he's taken her for granted and moves in.

I’ve got to admit it. That Phillip is quite a guy – not!!!

Something's happened." Hmmm... not on this show.

Isn’t that the truth?

"What the hell is your problem, and what are you thinking?"

Brady should be asking Little Phillip those questions. When it comes to Melanie, Phillip’s reasoning ability has moved south.

Meanwhile, the laptop sits in a pool of coffee, shorts out and bursts into flame.

There is absolutely no better way to murder a keyboard.

A little chat with Maggie makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a walk in the park.

I bet she’s a waterboarding expert.

Chad says, "Mia has a secret, and I'm gonna find out what it is."

Apparently Chad doesn’t watch DOOL. No one tells the truth about anything in Salem.

"Slutty," says Brady, "No. The word that came to my mind was 'tramp.'"

“Bimbo” works well too.

A HANGING CHAD.

Groan!!!

“I'm tired of you having to explain. I can't trust you any more."

Mia must remind Will of his mother.

Roman hands her a hankie.

What do you know? Roman has stepped out of the Abe Zone. Now, if we could only have a Mickey sighting…

Bo stares at Hope. Hope stares at Bo. We pan out, expecting Bo to turn to stone at any second.

For gosh sakes Hope, get a life. Your husband just saved your skinny butt and somehow that isn’t enough. Get over it! Geez!

Phillip likes boinking Melanie, Victor applauds porn videos, Arianna is in sex – make that love – with Brady, Mia is channeling her inner Sami, and the kidnapping saga is over. Terrific stuff for insomniacs…ZZZZZZZZ.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Traylyn said...

Since when is Brady Sami's "big brother". Shouldn't he be about 10 years younger than her?

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

"I can't do this any more" Arianna says as Roman hands her a hankie.

"You can and you WILL. The Salem PD isn't clever enough to know I've been the biggest drug kingpin in this town for the last ten years. I almost have enough to get out of this hole and buy my own island in the South Pacific. And when that happens Marlena will dump that loser John and realize we were meant to be togeth..."


OOPS! Sorry! I got lost in my own little 'DOOL if only' moment. Because who didn't know from the first shot of Arianna holding the vile vial of drugs she was working undercover? - - - crickets - - - I thought so.

Another 'if only' wish would be if someone actually said none of your business to these people who demand to know what you're doing, thinking or where they've been.

Prev, you know any Prevuism about Ho and Dope cracks me up. "I don't know about Ciara," says Bo, "But it would take a doofus to marry Hope." and Roman has a suggestion, "Why don't you and Hope get away from Salem for some quality time?" "You mean take separate trips?" HAHAHAHA

Loved five million being enough to get someone to marry Luclueless and <"You're not making sense," says Melanie. "I'm playing it straight form the script."

Thanks for the chuckles and getting us almost to Friday!

8:08 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Ah, Bulldog. Now THAT would have been an interesting plot twist! HAHA

”Something's happened." Hmmm... not on this show.

Aren’t you being a tad harsh, Prevuze? There’s a schlemozzle in full swing over at Bo and Hope's house.

A hanging Chad… Just had to reiterate - OMG, how funny!

Justin case he isn't dead.

Let’s start a pool on how many times Prevuze uses this groaner over the next few months. Hahahaha

A little chat with Maggie makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a walk in the park.

The park with all those unsavory characters lurking about in the night? The park with only one bench so you HAVE to keep walking? Just asking…

He turns to Phillip, "Were you too cheap to pay for a good motel?"

Out in the audience, Mavis turns to Audrey and snorts, “That’s what WE’VE been asking!”

Had to chuckle at the cheesy little mop-haired dweeb.

You're keeping all kinds of stuff from me. I'm tired of you having to explain. I can't trust you any more.

Says the guy who was just snooping into the girl’s computer. And, by the way, that sounds like an EJ rant. Apparently the writers are so lazy they not only have characters repeating their own dialog over and over, they stick it in the script for other characters as well.

ATTENTION, AUDIENCE! BARF BAGS ARE LOCATED IN THE SEAT POCKET IN FRONT OF YOU.

Hey, we needed that warning at the top of this blog so we could be prepared here in front of our computer screens. Now I’ve got this @%@#$# mess to clean up.

I salute you, Prevuze. You stand for truth, justice, and the American snark. Long may you reign.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

I salute you, Prevuze. You stand for truth, justice, and the American snark.

While I whole heartedly agree with you Applecheeks, the snark needs to include Canada and Australia. Afterall due to DOOL's international appeal (excuse me while I use one of those barf bags), Prevuze has fans everywhere that the worldwide web reaches. Prevuze's mantra should be -

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

Let's all raise our Cokes or Diet Cokes on high and toast Prevuze!! If Brady wants to join us, he can always snort his coke.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Lemon Grass said...

OMG, Melanie run, run far, far away from Phil and Arianne before they suck you into the black hole they're in.

I'm afraid Ethan's lost to us.

9:04 AM  
Blogger JamieLynn said...

You definatly make this show mor entertaining

11:26 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Leslie: Mea culpa! I stand corrected. Of course everyone in this big world is welcome to the snarkfest.

And, by the way, THIS made me snort something out of my nose, "If Brady wants to join us, he can always snort his coke".

11:44 AM  

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