Monday, September 07, 2009

Fifty Shades Of Wrong

Sami bustles around with Sydney on their mission to get coffee while Nicole stands in Sami's apartment reading Baker's letter, "This letter lays out the details of the events concerning the fact that the infant known as Grace Brady was the biological child of Mia McCormick and the biological mother of Sydney DiMera is Samantha Brady. It will show how Nicole DiMera willfully orchestrated ex-post-facto events leading up to what, in legal terms would be defined as a switcheroous unbelievablus after pulling off an act of knockedupidnus fakeus. On or about the date of..."

A knock interrupts. Nicole hides the letter, but Rafe walks in before she can answer the door. He wonders what she is doing there if Sami is out.

Nathan stands at the nurses' station with the candy-striper bimbos watching Melanie's Internet porno debut as Stephanie stands in the background with her jaw hitting the floor. Melanie walks up. Stephanie launches into a nuclear tirade. A longshoreman walks by and swallows his cigar when he hears the unending chain of expletives-deleted, "If I used language like that with the boys down on the docks I'd lose my job and have my mouth washed out with soap."

Melanie jumps in and tires to mitigate things, "Stephanie, you don't think... I didn't... it's... uh... uh..."

I believe the operative word is...

BUSTED!

Chad sneaks into Maggie's house and snoops around the kitchen looking for Mia's diary. In the process, he finds the letter from Hynes, "Why would a lawyer want to talk to..."

Maggie walks in, "Excuse me? Who are you?" She picks up the phone and starts to call the police.

Nicole tells Rafe she's waiting there while Sami is out to get lattes. Rafe is skeptical. Nicole reminds him he was supportive of her relationship with Sami the other day, "Were you being disingenuous?"

Rafe is shocked, "Dang. I didn't even know they made words with five syllables."

"Dang," says Nicole, "I didn't know you could count to five." She takes the offensive, "You and Sami aren't together any more which means you broke in. What the hell are you up to?"

Melanie insists the video is a fake. No one buys that and Melanie breaks down. Stephanie joins her in a fit of tears and we have dueling fountains. Nathan consults the Guy Manual for advice, "Unless you have a pair of water-wings handy, this would be a good time to volunteer for NASA's first manned flight to Pluto." The coward runs like a rat deserting a sinking ship.

Speaking of sinking ships, you could float the Queen Mary in the sea of tears. Melanie and Stephanie become a pair of dueling waterfalls. Stephanie wails, "I want the truth, Melanie. How long has this been going on?"

Melanie asks, "Do you mean in real time or in DOOL time? It just happened one time. Well, to be exact, one night, five times. I was comforting him. He made it clear you weren't together any more. I didn't know your breakup had an expiration date."

Stephanie launches into another chain of expletives-deleted. The longshoreman goes into cardiac arrest and they rush him to the emergency room. Stephanie accuses Melanie of putting the video on the Internet herself.

Grabowski works on his computer, but can't delete the video, "Wow! This thing is getting a boatload of hits."

Brady has a conniption, "Get the damn thing off the web... NOW!"

Chad begs Maggie not to call the police. He says he's a friend of Mia's. Maggie says she doesn't ever remember seeing him at the Java Café. She wonders why Mia never has mentioned him.

"She's shy," says Chad, "She doesn't share a whole lot." Maggie sizes him up and says even if this is the truth she doesn't like the situation. Chad says he's embarrassed that he's caused such a ruckus. Maggie sees the certified letter and asks what he's doing with it. Chad hems and haws and insists he was going to deliver it himself. Maggie grabs it and says she will do it. Mia comes in. Maggie asks if she knows the young man.

"I got to know him in high school," says Mia, "and I really got to know him in the back seat of his '97 Chevy."

Rafe thinks it's none of Nicole's business why he's there. But he tells her he's there for his mail. He leafs through the pile as Nicole clutches her purse with the incriminating letter inside. Sami wheels Sydney in and asks what's going on.

Nicole fans herself, "Did it just get super hot in here? I don't think Caroline's chowdah agreed with me." She runs to the bathroom.

Melanie insists she didn't put the video on line. Stephanie resurrects Melanie's Premiere Party Girl past.

Long ago, dinosaurs roamed the earth. Prevailing theory has it that an asteroid slammed into the ocean near the Yucatan Peninsula creating a cataclysm of such major proportions that it wiped out the entire population and shrouded the earth in ashen darkness for millennia. That catastrophe was no more than a pebble dropping into a bucket of water compared to the massive nuclear winter that would take place in the event Phillip, who has no business in the hospital, would just happen to stumble on the scene right now. Thank goodness that won't happen.

Phillip stumbles onto the scene, "What's going on here?"

Grabowski wrestles with the video as Melanie and Phillip wrestle on screen. Brady tosses him out of the way and clicks keys like he actually knows what he is doing.

Victor walks in the park and talks on the phone. He wants a full investigation of Arianna, "Arianna Hernandez has gotten her claws in my grandson and I want to know why."

The guy on the other end asks, "Victor, didn't anyone ever tell you about the birds and the bees?"

Mia says she asked Chad to meet her there. Maggie scolds and asks her to tell her next time she's going to have friends over, "And Mia, giving him your keys..."

Mia gets the idea, "Yeah, that was totally irresponsible. It won't happen again. And Chad isn't staying anyway."

Sami wonders what is wrong with Nicole. "Something just came over her," says Rafe. He tells Sami he's there for the mail. With that he looks at the pile of mail on Sami's coffee table and that oh-so-dim light bulb faintly glows over his head.

Back in the bathroom, Nicole tears the letter into pieces and flushes them down the toilet.

Suddenly, the audience cheers. Out there, Hazel turns to Ethel and asks, "Why is everyone cheering."

"Because," says Ethel, "She got confused and flushed the script down the toilet instead."


Rafe knocks, "Nicole! Let me in!"

Nicole opens the door, "What you can't wait? Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much coffee."

Nicole huffs out and Rafe finds himself standing in a familiar place, the fog of confusion, "What was she up to?"

Phillip has not yet learned the gravity of the situation. Stephanie kicks Melanie out and pops the computer open. Phillip watches. Oops. Stephanie gives him that look women give men only when they don't have a gun handy.

Brady deletes the file. Grabowski grows a pair and tells Brady to go. Brady refuses. "What's your problem," snarls Grabowski.

"You got the problem, pal," snorts Brady, "We're gonna finish this."

"Finish it," asks Grabowski, "You've already seen it a dozen times."

Mia asks Chad what he's doing there. Chad insists Mia still loves her.

Sami plays with Sydney as Nicole storms out and rants about privacy. Rafe follows and says he figured out why Nicole was looking at the mail. The girls are curious as to what Rafe is talking about.

Melanie comes out to the nurses' station and finds Nathan. He gives her a judging glance and leaves.

Phillip watches the hot video, and then slams the lid. He apologizes and claims it all happened after he and Stephanie broke up, "I wasn't thinking straight. I was lost."

"Coulda fooled me," says Stephanie, "You sure looked like you knew your way around. I thought you loved me. I'm sick of saying you changed. It's all lies! It's all fake!"

"No," says Phillip, "Only certain parts are fake. It was a mistake."

"You slept with another girl and lied to my face," blubbers Stephanie, "For that I will never forgive you."

"Define never," says Phillip.

"This week," says Stephanie.


Brady rages, "You are a scum, dirt! You must think I'm as dumb as you are. Well, I'll have you know I can out-dumb you any day, mister." Grabowski don' wan' no trouble. Brady tells him trouble goes with being an amateur pornographer, "You are a twisted SOB."

Out of nowhere, a cop arrives and cuffs Grabo. "When did you call the cops," asks Grabowski.

"I didn't," says Brady, "I put out a Bat-signal."

Maggie props the incriminating letter up as Chad and Mia argue. Mia whines, "It's like you're stalking me, Chad."

"You know that's not what's going on."

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know," says Chad, "I was desperate. You drive me crazy Mia."

"I got that way on my own," says Mia.

"I can't stop thinking about you," says Chad, "You claim to be with Will, but you can't stop thinking about me, right?"

"Well," says Mia, "It is true you went overboard to give me something to remember you by."

Nicole claims Rafe is jealous of her friendship with Sami. She accuses him of being a control freak. Sami tells him he has no right to interfere. Nicole decides to leave. Sami apologizes for Rafe's behavior as Nicole heads out.

Once she and Rafe are alone, Sami revs up the lecture. "Am I beyond forgiveness," asks Rafe. Sami wonders why he's acting so strange.

Stephanie has moved from raging to brooding, "I knew something was going on with you and Melanie. How could I have believed you?"

"I was a coward," says Phillip, "I thought if I didn't tell you everything would be fine. I thought if I did, you would never forgive me. Was I right?"

Rafe tells Sami she's reading too much into this. He claims he was just surprised to see Nicole there alone. Sami asks for her keys back. Pouty Rafe hands them to her. Sami drones, "Goodbye Rafe." Rafe tucks his tail between his legs and shuffles out.

Out in the audience, wild cheering erupts among the Lumis and the Ejamis. Suddenly, the cheering stops. The Lumis stare at the Ejamis. The Ejamis stare back. The knives and brass knuckles come out and the fight is on.

Mia tells Chad to go.

Nicole has hightailed it over to Maggie's house to see if she can intercept incriminating letter #2. She comes inside Maggie's kitchen and hears Chad and Mia arguing outside, "That doesn't sound good." She finds incriminating letter #2 and rejoices. Rather than shove it in her purse and out of sight, she stands there staring at it like it's the Hope Diamond. Mia walks back inside and soaks it all in.

Phillip wonders if he had told Stephanie he slept with Melanie if she would have forgiven him.

"I might have if you had been honest from the beginning," says Stephanie. Phillip insists there is no way that would have happened. He says it was a one–time fling, "I'll admit to being stupid and fifty shades of wrong, but I still love you with all my heart. In Chicago... I nailed that interview."

"That's not all you nailed," says Stephanie.

"We could go to Chicago, have a second chance and start a new life together." Stephanie walks out. "I'll take that as a 'no,'" says Phillip.

Brady finds Melanie at the hospital and tells her the video is off the Internet. Melanie breaks down, "It's-wah-too-sob-late-blubber."

Rafe sits at the pub and broods. Arianna comes in and sits with him. He tells her Nicole intercepted the letter and destroyed it. He says maybe he'll just stop trying to find out what the connection is and let Sami live in peace.

Nicole hands Mia the letter. She tells her that's why she was there, "Mia, I did a terrible thing." She says she had her lawyer file a restraining order against Mia. She says she wants to take that letter to her lawyer and have him rip it up, "Please give me the letter. Please." Mia stares.

Victor walks and talks on the phone, "I know exactly what I have to do." He hangs up and walks into the pub. He finds Arianna, "We need to talk... Alone... One-on-one. Mano-a-girlo..."

Sami opens her mail and cries. She finds a stuffed horse and decides Sydney will want it back, "I hope your mom understands how lucky she is to have you."

Nicole begs Mia for the letter back, "I don't want to cause you any more pain. Mia gives her the letter.

Prevuze

Nicole thanks her and tells her she deserves to be happy. Mia says she wants Sydney to be happy too, even through she doesn't belong to her any more. Nicole tells Mia she made the right decision. Mia vows she will never forget that as a relieved Nicole turns and gets outta Dodge.

Outside Nicole tells Sydney it's finally over.

Sister Teresa calls Rafe, "I understand you wanted to talk to me."

"I do," says Rafe, "I killed my last girlfriend, my current girlfriend just kicked me out and I'm a murder suspect in the Dominican Republic. Can a guy join a nunnery?"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


6 Comments:

Blogger Applecheeks said...

I feel so guilty. I've been lolling about, sleeping late, drinking lattes and Prevuze has been up and suffering through a DOOL episode to bring us a holiday Prevuze.

So many great Prevuisms:
Philip just happens to stumble onto the scene.

Philip gets a look a woman gives a man only when a gun isn't available.

Steph wouldn't be forgiving Philip - this week,

the knives and brass knuckles come out,

dueling fountains,

dueling waterfalls,

all to save us from DOOLing idiocy.

Just one question - why did Mia cover for Chad?

Upon reflection, I guess I don't feel that guilty. Loved the Prevuze snark.

Word verification: frackera no witty use. Just thought it was a hoot.

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

It will show how Nicole DiMera willfully orchestrated ex-post-facto events leading up to what, in legal terms would be defined as a switcheroous unbelievablus after pulling off an act of knockedupidnus fakeus.

Switcheroous unbelievablus - Only in Latin can there be found the perfect term for this perfectly crappy and ridiculous storyline, and I use the term “storyline” with much reservation.

Nathan stands at the nurses' station with the candy-striper bimbos watching Melanie's Internet porno debut as Stephanie stands in the background with her jaw hitting the floor.

Even if somehow the porn sites aren’t blocked at the hospital, it is an incredibly wild coincidence that the undoubtedly underage chicks would be accessing a site that included the Phillip/Melanie romp. Additionally, the candy stripers viewing experience is enhanced by watching the video at the nurses’ station along with an intern. Apparently, no one cares about losing their job.

Rafe is shocked, "Dang. I didn't even know they made words with five syllables."

"Dang," says Nicole, "I didn't know you could count to five."

Nicole and Rafe - dumb and dumber!

The coward runs like a rat deserting a sinking ship.

That would mirror the head writer abandoning DOOL.

Sami wheels Sydney in and asks what's going on.

It’s only the dynamic duo trying to beat each other to committing a federal offence by stealing Sami's mail.

Rafe tucks his tail between his legs and shuffles out.

Out in the audience, wild cheering erupts among the Lumis and the Ejamis. Suddenly, the cheering stops. The Lumis stare at the Ejamis. The Ejamis stare back. The knives and brass knuckles come out and the fight is on.

Here comes the yellow flag! Prevuze receives a 15-yard penalty for inciting a riot.

"We could go to Chicago, have a second chance and start a new life together." Stephanie walks out. "I'll take that as a 'no,'" says Phillip.

Damn - while I’m not crazy about Phillip and Stephanie landing in Chicago, I would be overjoyed to never again hear, see, or read the drivel they spew at each other.

I can’t bleeping believe it. Nicole got her hands on both the bleeping letters. What a bleeping waste of time. All of this running around has been nothing but bleeping filler. Good bleeping gravy!

Thank you Prevuze for laboring away on this superior Daze recap, and a happy and safe Labor Day to all the faithful Prevuzites!!!

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Well I'm not sipping a fancy latte but I did sleep in and am now drinking our summer peach coffee. So I feel a little guilty about the torture Prevuze has endured, too.

It was worth it - for us. Especially my favorite Prevuism, the odds of Phillip walking into the hospital being about the same as the asteroid strike. HAHAHA

I figure those are just about the same odds that Nicole would get both letters back and everyone in the hospital would happen to stumble upon the porn site at that moment and Brady finding Grabowski and knowing how to get the video off the internet.

And why? Probably so the writers can drag all of this out until the November sweeps. Let's hope. Probably more like the May sweeps.

Loved the descriptive image of the Lumis and Ejamis going at it with brass knuckles and Stephanie's special jewelry for Phillip.

BTW - So far I prefer the original Arianna. I just thought I'd throw that one in to start up a good controversy.

Thank you Prevuze, for laboring through DOOL on the Labor Day holiday for us. And have a great one, everybody! :D

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hazel turns to Ethel and asks, "Why is everyone cheering."

"Because," says Ethel, "She got confused and flushed the script down the toilet instead.
"

Luckily Prevuze is never confused, otherwise I might have to flush my DAZE watching down the toilet.

And I LOVED the letter being returned due to wrong address and non-existent zip code. It's the first thing I thought when I saw the envelope.

KOTU

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why the TPTB want this baby switch storyline to be so long ?? Please explain to me, i don't understand the benefit..it's nonsense in term of ratings : people are just tired and annoyed by this story ... definitly not interested..what's is the "thing" ?

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if anyone has posted this yet but someone in the props department is having fun. The address on Mia's letter: 1313 Mockingbird Lane is the Munster's address from the show The Munsters.

6:55 PM  

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