Monday, March 23, 2009

Doofuses Of Our Lives

Problems continue behind the scenes at Doofuses Of Our Lives. Everything started out fine with the transmission this morning, but less than ten minutes in, it all went kaput. We'll recap what we got, but it wasn't much. Of course I guess we could say that even if we got the full transmission.

First, here is a recap of what happened in Friday's "lost" episode which also did not feed. Thanks to the DOOL page at The TV Megasite for this information:

Kate shows up in Vegas. She asks Chloe and Lucas to annul their marriage, but they refuse to cooperate.

Tony continues to badger Nicole with the knowledge that Sydney isn't her baby.

Sami announces her intentions to adopt a baby. EJ doesn't think it's a good idea.

Chelsea brings Theo to see Max. She wants Theo to be in a play but Theo doesn't want to out of fear that he might grow up to be an actor and get a job on DOOL.

Rafe and Brady introduce themselves and talk about Sami and the DiMeras.

Daniel asks Maggie to forgive Chloe. He tells her Lucas and Chloe eloped.

Bulletin: Corday Productions regrets to announce that God, who has had such a major role in recent DOOL episodes, has been fired in order to cut production costs.

And with that, here's what we got in the mini-feed today:

Phillip calls Tony and immediately starts tossing insults. He tells Tony they need to talk. They arrange to meet at the pier. Tony doesn't see what will be gained by a meeting, "Whats done is done."

"We'll see," grumbles Phillip.

Brady tells Daniel Kate went to Vargas for Chloe and Lucas' wedding.

The three stooges are on the plane leaving Vegas. Kate and Chloe are with him. Lucas can't believe Kate is flying in coach with them. She explains first class was full, so she is forced to slum it in coach with the lovebirds.

Kate makes ample use of her complimentary barf bag as she watches Chloe and Lucas sit across the aisle from her and play kissie poo. She smiles on the outside and boils on the inside, "You'd better enjoy it now, Chloe, because your rosy future is about to turn very bleak."

Bo meets some weenie-boy in the pub who may be a new recruit. In most police departments it is not customary for the Commissioner to go out and pal around with new dweebs coming into the department but, then again, in most police departments the Commissioner has something to do. "You have to learn not to take things personally," advises Bo. Then he immediately realizes the stupidity of what he just said and continues, "Of course I have never been able to follow that advice. It's part of who I am."

Weenie-boy asks, "And whats it like to be your big brothers boss?"

Before Bo can answer, Hope walks up, "Why don't you forget about his big brother and ask about his wife?"

"It's great being her boss," says Bo, "Especially around the house."

Services for Bo are pending.


We go back to the plane, where Chloe and Lucas sit across from Kate nibbling on each other. That does it. Kate goes postal. She stands up, scoots across the aisle, grabs Chloe by the throat and chokes her.

Lucas screams, "Mom, what are you doing?"

End of fantasy. The attendant snaps Kate out of her daydream and asks if she wants a headset. Kate declines and glances across the aisle where Chloe and Lucas are just about to join the mile-high club. Kate rolls her eyes.

Daniel is stunned. Brady asks, "Uh, you and Kate aren't still..."

"No," says Daniel, "Nor me and her granddaughter, either. I've moved on to her daughter-in-law. I consider myself a real family man. Any word on when Billie's due back in Salem? "

Brady philosophizes, "Like the magazines say, bachelorhood is everything it's cracked up to be... and less."

"True," says Daniel, "But at least it's a lot quieter than being married."

Daniel refuses to talk about the new woman in his life. Brady asks, "You're still not over her, then, huh?"

Daniel says, "No, I have to be, because she is over me. Usually all over me, if you know what I mean."

Lucas and Chloe talk about the dozen or so kids they are going to have, "I want to keep trying," says Lucas, "Until their IQs add up to double digits."

KABLOOIE !

Kate blows a gasket, stands up and screams, "I can't take it any more SHUT UP! This is making me sick."

Chloe is very perceptive, "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

"As if you don't know," sneers Kate, "Why don't you just tell him the truth, you lying little pig? Lucas, she has been cheating on you with Daniel, having sex with him."

Lucas gasps, "What?"

Kate says, "Sex. You know, when two people get together and..."

Chloe denies it, "It's not true."

Kate rants, "Tell him. Don't you dare try to deny it!"

Lucas says, "Chloe, tell me you didn't." Chloe gives Lucas her expressive blank stare. Lucas gets it, "OMG! You did! Why?"

Chloe whines, "Because I'm in love with him." Lucas explodes and stomps out. What an idiot! They're at 36,000 feet and he doesn't even close the door behind him.

Chloe asks why Kate told. Kate explodes, "Because I'm not going to let a lying little slut like you ruin his life. He's a big boy now and can do that on his own."

Kate snaps out of it again and watches Chloe and Lucas make plans for their mansion – the one they're going to buy with the money they don't have.

"One pool or two," asks Chloe.

"Let's have two," says Lucas, "So I can have one to myself. People are always telling me they want me out of the pool."

"They're talking about the gene pool," says Chloe.


Suddenly, everything goes black. The audience breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Note: Since we didn't get any previews today, we clipped Kate's meltdown instead. It is available right now on Prevuze II: CLICK HERE

Th-th th-th th-that's all, folks. Join us tomorrow and we'll see if the dipwads who run this show can beam a full episode.

Prevuze

Prevuze


NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This show really knows how to suspend reality. I mean Chloe was doing Daniel practically in front of everyone. Nichole was hiding a fake baby bump which went from flat stomach to big baby bump back to immediate flat stomach. Sami was hiding a pregnancy that quite frankly even if my best friend ate a small cow, I could tell the difference. What is in the drinking water in Salem?

Don't get me started on how Sami can possibly adopt a kid with the 3 kids she already had, the rap sheet, and no money. Ah but I digress.

Without Prevuze I would have to suffer through I figure about 10% of this crap. The rest I would have:
1. Fast forwarded
2. Gone to get snacks
3. Gone to "pay the queen"
4. Cleaned out the cat box
5. Barfed in my handy new "Doofuses of our Lives" barf bag

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Suddenly, everything goes black. The audience breathes a collective sigh of relief.

If that’s all DOOL is giving out for free, I’m not sure I want any. Lordie, what craziness, and then there’s Kate hallucinating in the sky.

Eight miles high and when you touch down
You'll find that it's stranger than known
Signs in the street that say where you're going
Are somewhere just being their own


In Kate’s defense if I were on an airplane with them, I would be hoping that Lucas and Chloe would be taking their act to the nearest john. A tongue down the throat PDA in a confined space is just wrong.

Prevuze and Bulldog, your photographs and captions are entertaining as always, and that is a whole bunch more than we can say about Daze. By the way Berg, my kitty also thanks DOOL for giving me so many opportunities to scoop the poop. Happy Monday everyone!

5:14 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Well between two mini recaps, great pictures and another snarky Bulldog toast I should be able to get through the day.

I must say, though, no recap on Friday is one thing. The lack of a full-length Prevuze snark-fest on a Monday is another.

On the bright side, Berg has presented a little brain teaser. "Figure out the unfamiliar saying" game - in this case, pay the queen. Is this, perhaps, an activity one engages in while sitting on a porcelain "throne"? LOL

7:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gold star to "Applecheeks"!

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So did the gruesome couple go ahead and "do their thing" (eeew) while honeymooning in Vegas while Kate seethes outside the door or did they just fly back because she showed up?

How many readers thought Kate was actually killing Chloe/blurting out the big secret??

- - - - - c r i c k e t s - - -

Watch paranoid Bo fire the poor new sap because he thinks he'll end up in bed with Hope. HAHAHAHA

Loved the reference to Shawn's motorcycle and Sydney ready for college. Even with an abbreviated episode you still made a Monday bearable, Prevuze. Thanks!

8:17 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Chloe asks why Kate told. Kate explodes, "Because I'm not going to let a lying little slut like you ruin his life.

Yeah Chloe, that's Kate's job.

There was more action in Kate's fantasies than there is in an entire week of DOOL episodes.

Phillip calls Tony and immediately starts tossing insults. He tells Tony they need to talk. They arrange to meet at the pier. Tony doesn't see what will be gained by a meeting, "Whats done is done

Will Tony be taking a long walk off a short pier soon? Why meet on a pier in March anyway? Two rich guys can't find a comfortable, indoor venue for a private conversation/confrontation?

DOOL has definitely jumped the shark, they made Bo the police commissioner!!! This guy can't find his ass with both hands, let alone a criminal. Case in point, the Dimera clan, they are all walking around free.

Thanks Prevuze!!

It must have been a nice mental health break for you not to have to suffer through an episode on Friday and then, lucky you, an abbreviated episode today.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was wondering myself what Berg was talking about "pay the queen"...Hilarious! I'll have to stash that in my "must know" list of useful phrases.

Bulldog, your pics had me spitting out coffe this morning! Unlike the DOOL eppi recap, I really enjoyed your pics :)

Prevuze, good luck intercepting tomorrow's feed. My week-end was no the same without the usual DOOL snark attack!

9:59 AM  

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