That Phony Slut

Le flic féminin asks Nick what happened. Nick says he just can't talk about it. Melanie stands off to the side and sobs.

Morgan is in the pub. Phillip walks in and the temperature drops 30 degrees. He asks to sit with her and she turns him down. Phillip says he wants to start over. Morgan snorts, "What part of 'no' is it that you don't understand?"

Phillip says, "I just hate for us to lose what could have been." Morgan thinks he's feeling sorry for himself.

Chloe looks down in the crib at Allie, "She's beautiful... when she's sleeping."

"Just like you," says Lucas.

"You mean I'm beautiful when I'm sleeping," asks Chloe.

"Actually," says Lucas, "Anytime your mouth is shut."

"Then we have a lot in common," says Chloe. She gets frisky. Lucas frisks back. He frisks her. She frisks him.

Nicole comes into the mansion to see EJ, "I need you, EJ." EJ's eyes widen. Nicole clarifies, "I need you as my lawyer and no more than that."

EJ says, "I can't help but be attracted to you. It's a matter of biology."

Nicole says, "Well for me it's a matter of pride and dignity. I’m proud of the fact I don't have any dignity. But as long as you have feelings for Sami, you can forget about us."

Sami overhears. She lectures Nicole on pride and dignity and then takes on EJ, "You should be fighting for OUR daughter."

"OUR daughter," asks EJ.

"Well," says the great rationalizer, "You've always said you think of Allie as your daughter."

"And you're always reminding me she's not," says EJ.

"Facts will get you nowhere," says Sami.

Nicole is tired of the verbifluence, "I want to change the channel." Dozens of people from the audience rush up to help her."

Sami freaks, "Allie is with Lucas and that third rate opera singer. I don't want her near that phony slut or Chloe either." Nicole has had it. She says she wants to talk to EJ in private and asks Sami to leave.

Chloe and Lucas have gone green. They take a shower together to save water. The audience turns green as well. "I've never done this before," says Chloe.

"You never took a shower," asks Lucas.

"I never took a shower outdoors," says Chloe.

Lucas washes her back. She washes his. Things heat up but that most ubiquitous and effective form of birth control kicks in – the crying baby.

Morgan thinks Phillip doesn't get it. Phillip gets a call. It's Daniel calling from the hospital, "It's about your mom... you'd better come down here."

"What is it," asks Phillip, "another STD? " Morgan softens when she finds out there is a problem with Kate. Phillip convinces the nutcase to come to the hospital with him.

Le flic feminine interrogates everyone in the room, but no one is talking. Max steps in and tells them to come across with the story. Chelsea lays into Melanie. Melanie asks, "Who the hell are you?"

"Somebody just gets shot for you and you sulk," says Chelsea.

Melanie turns to her brother, "Max, who is this bitch?"

Max growls, "Don't call her that. It would be more accurate to use slut, brat or snot."

Nick hovers on the brink of death, "Melanie's not to blame."

Chelsea asks, "You're sitting here half bleeding to death and she's the victim?"

The cops take Melanie out to question her. The paramedics say they have to take Nick to the hospital. Nick groans.

"Don't worry," says Max, "We're not in Salem. You'll probably live." The brat apologizes. Nick asks her to visit him. Stephanie follows the crowd out of the room, leaving Max and Chelsea.

Chelsea whines, "Nick was shot... because of her. Why won't he say something." Max says if Nick doesn't want to say it's his business.

Chelsea jumps to conclusions, "There's something going on between them, isn't there?"

Nicole taunts Sami about her brood with different fathers and the two of them get into an argument. EJ takes his life in his hands and tries to referee. He decides he wants them both out, and launches into a tirade, "Samantha, I can't get Allie back for you. I was not put on this planet to fix your problems, nor yours, Nicole." He storms away. Sami chases and they keep it up. EJ dumps his problems on Sami and reminds her he now has to wrestle with both John and Stefano, "I don't have time to deal with either of your problems. Leave me alone."

Nicole whines, "I need your help."

EJ explodes, "Am I talking to myself?"

A gal in the audience yells, "No, unfortunately we can hear you."

Sami jumps in, "I get it. You can just focus on your own life while I go to rescue Allie. Chloe couldn't take care of a pet hamster. I am going crazy here EJ. How can you not see that?"

"That's a journey that was completed a long time ago," says EJ, "I understand, but it's not the end of the world." Sami storms out.

Nicole offers her undying support, "You'd better keep your day job. The Dr. Phil thing ain't happening."

Chloe struggles with Allie. Lucas comes in and takes the baby in his arms. He also takes Allie in his arms. He says he's not sure what is wrong with her, "Maybe she misses her mom."

Salem Hospital! Where the gas wafting out of the vents is once again originating from the gastroenterology wing. Morgan and Phillip come in arguing. Phillip thinks Paul is weak and that's why he ended up in prison. He wants himself and Morgan to work through this.

Kate sees them and has a conniption, "What are you doing with her."

Max wonders why the brat cares about Nick. She says she may have broken up with him, but he's still her friend. He asks her to lay off Melanie. Chelsea says she'll try. She pouts about having had her chance with Nick and then she blew it. She tells Max she and Dr. Dan are over. Hugs. Chelsea whines, "Why can't things just be simple and good."

"You're simple, just not good," says Max, "But one out of two ain't bad."

Kate says she thinks Phillip and Morgan are a bad idea. Morgan seconds that and walks away. Phillip says he thinks Kate is being overprotective. He tells her why he's there and Kate tells him she's fine. They argue. He thinks when it comes to Lucas and him no woman has ever been good enough for Kate.

Lucas gets Allie to fall asleep. He and Chloe watch and whisper. Allie fusses and Chloe asks to take over. Lucas goes for firewood. Chloe begs Allie not to cry. She sings 'You Are My Sunshine' and Allie settles down.

EJ comes into the empty room. He wanders around and suddenly stops, "Oh, no! She didn't!"

Nicole comes back in, "What did Sami do now?"

"She took Allie's favorite teddy bear," says EJ, "Allie really gets upset when Sami plays with it. I'll bet she went to the island. OMG! I've got to deal with this." EJ runs out.

Chelsea gets off the phone with the hospital. She tells Stephanie she's worried about Nick. Stephanie says the cops interviewed Melanie alone, so she doesn't know what Melanie said to them. Chelsea says she can't see Nick for an hour, so she's going back to the hotel.

Max takes Melanie aside, "I can't believe your own dad would pimp you out." Melanie says she doesn't want to talk about it. She wants to get back to her own life. "I want to get back to my life, too," says Max.

"How can you go back to a life when you don't have one," asks Melanie, "Well, keep in touch." Hugs. They say they will miss each other.

Melanie hesitates, "Uh... sorry about getting you thrown in jail. Do you think Nick will ever forgive me?"

"Yes."

Max goes to talk to the cop. Melanie gets a call. She opens her phone and sees it's from Trent. She goes into meltdown and flings the phone across the room. That'll teach Trent.

Kate insists she has been supportive of Phillip's relationships. Phillip thinks that's a joke. Kate puts on a show, "GRAHOOMP-AGAAKK-HACK-HACK!"

Daniel interrupts. He says he wants an x-ray. Kate says she is a big girl and doesn't need either of them to tell her what to do.

Chloe finds shampoo in her hair, "WAH! I can't get back together with Lucas until this shampoo goes away! " She goes off to rinse while Allie sleeps.

As Chloe leaves out of one door, Sami comes in another and finds Allie all alone.

Kate coughs. Daniel tries to talk her into an x-ray, "Kate, we've got to get a picture of this."

"Weren't those pictures you took of me at your place the other night enough?"

Phillip takes Kate aside. Kate says she doesn't want him interfering in her life if she's not supposed to interfere in his. Morgan watches. Phillip says he has sincere feelings for Morgan, "She has problems but don't we all? Her problems are mine." Daniel watches. Kate stares at Daniel and tells Phillip, "There is more to this than you'll ever know."

Phillip gets it, "OMG. You and Daniel? So much for the theory that he only likes the young ones."

Chelsea tells Stephanie she's not sure her being there helped. Stephanie thinks she needs to talk about her breakup. She wants to know what happened. Chelsea tells her about Daniel's relationship with Kate.

Stephanie's jaw hits the floor, "WHAT? "

"Don't make me repeat it," says Chelsea, "I don't think I can get over it."

Stephanie asks, "Does this trip have to do with you wanting to get back together with Nick?

Sami dotes on Allie, "I can't believe they left you alone. But mommy brought your teddy bear."

EJ walks in, "Is that what you're gonna tell the judge... that you came to give her a teddy bear? Put her down." Sami insists she's never leaving her alone with Lucas again.

Nicole picks up a phone, "Yes... I'd like to report a kidnapping."

Phillip is stunned, "Let me try to wrap my head around this."

"There's not much left," says Kate, "You already tried to wrap it around Salem racetrack."

Phillip stammers, "You... and Daniel..." Kate walks off.

Daniel walks up to Phillip, "It's... complicated."

"I guess you're right ," says Phillip, "If by 'complicated,' you mean 'perverted.'" Morgan soaks it in. Phillip asks about Chelsea.

"Chelsea left me," says Daniel, "But... I need to get back to work."

Morgan eats it up. She comes back over to Phillip. She touches his hand, "Sorry." I guess she's decided to stick with Phillip until she hears every juicy detail.

Chelsea says she didn't come to patch things up with Nick. Max comes back. He tells them Melanie is at the police station. "What are we going to do now," asks Stephanie.

"We're going home," says Max, "And when we get there, I'm gonna kill my father."

EJ begs Sami to listen to reason. Sami reminds him Lucas and Chloe aren't around. She insists she wasn't going to kidnap Allie, but was just blowing off steam at the mansion because he was flirting with Nicole

Lucas walks in and revs up his motormouth, "Allie's fine, Sami, but if you don't get away you'll never see her again."

Phillip and Morgan walk outside the pub. He tells her he shouldn't judge Daniel and Kate. He decides to let it go because he wants to talk about his relationship with Morgan instead. He turns to her, "We could be good together. You know that and I know that." He moves in and kisses her.

Lucas tells Sami to leave. Sami lectures him for leaving Allie alone. Chloe comes in and wonders what's going on.

Sami snorts, "You and the father of the year left my daughter unattended."

"I left to wash the shampoo out of my hair," says Chloe.

Lucas is peeved, "Don't you think that could have waited?"

A group of cops walks in on the happy crowd, "We got a call that someone here was violating a custody agreement," says one of them. He turns to Sami, "Hand the child to the father and come with us."

Lucas throws gasoline on the fire, "Way to go, Sami. Now I'm one step closer to getting full custody of Allie." Allie looks around for an escape route.

Previews
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