I Don't Poopy Scoop

Chloe and Lucas are at the pub. Lucas says now that he's left the mansion, he'll stay at the Horton Cabin, "I was kinda hopin' that you'd come with us." Chloe beams.

Kate overhears. She turns and asks, "Are you out of your mind?" Then she sees it's Lucas she was talking to and realizes she needn't have asked.

Daniel and Lexie get together and talk about difficult patients, whiney staff and incompetent doctors. Daniel offers Lexie an unloading session. Lexie is reluctant, but sits down and dumps. She tells Daniel about Theo, the review board being all over her case about the lockdown and, of course, her problems with Abe. Daniel offers to speak on her behalf to the review board. Hugs. Abe walks in and jumps to conclusions.

EJ meets Sami at the pub. He says he came from the courthouse with some news, which we all know won't really be news, "The custody hearing has been moved to today. I would imagine that by the end of today you'll have a decision about Allie's custody. Oh, and by the way, when I'm with Nicole, I feel like I'm cheating on you." Sami looks over at Lucas and asks if he knows. EJ says the judge was talking to Mickey, so he has to assume Lucas will know shortly. If Mickey doesn't tell him, by God, Maggie will. Sami whines, "I don't want to lose her."

EJ asks, "What about Lucas?"

"He doesn't want to lose her either."

Kate tells Lucas to listen to what she has to say as she coughs up a lung.

Abe gestures, postures and asks for a word with Daniel, "I want you to stay away from my wife."

"Why are you singling me out," asks Daniel, "Everyone else in Salem gets a crack at her."

Kate continues to hack her guts up. Chloe goes for water to get away from the flying crud. When Kate comes up for air, she asks, "Are you sure you want to get involved in another doomed relationship?"

EJ says it seems like Lucas is moving on with Chloe. Sami thinks that's a mistake, but she's really worried he wants to take Allie away from her. EJ wants to talk about what Sami said in the stairwell. Sami says she doesn't regret it.

Kate lectures Lucas and bashes Chloe. Chloe decides to leave. She tells Lucas to deal with witchwoman and call her when he's done. Lucas asks her if she will get the keys to the boat and boathouse from Maggie. Chloe promises to do that and leaves. Lucas goes back to Kate who is erupting like Old Faithful. Between spasms, Kate says, "Chloe turned Brady into a drug addict and seduced and used Phillip. Is that what you want?"

"The part about being seduced would be OK," says Lucas, "But you're wrong about all the rest."

Kate says she only wants to help him and Allie. She reminds him he's in the middle of a custody battle and the judge will be watching the kind of people he hangs out with. "I probably shouldn't be seen with you then," says Lucas.

Kate says, "Chloe is not mother material."

"Neither were you." A referee jumps in and nails Lucas with a technical foul.

Abe tells Daniel to keep his hands off Lexie. Abe wants Lexie to come to him if she's having problems, not some surfin' doc. Daniel leaves.

Abe freshens Lexie's memory about her past escapades. Lexie says she thought they had moved past that. Abe says Lexie has been withdrawing. Lexie accuses him of making assumptions, "You immediately assume we are having an affair?"

Abe says, "This is not the first time you have been together like this." Lexie insists they are just friends. Abe isn't sure he believes her.

Maggie meets Chloe and gives her the keys to the boat and boathouse. She explains the difference between the two. Maggie says she already knows Chloe will be at the Horton cabin together with Lucas, "In my world, word travels fast." They talk about Kate, how Chloe and Lucas got together, Sami's attitude and Maggie's former relationship with Don Craig while she was still married to the pseudo-dead Mickey. "Don was a rebound guy," says Maggie. Chloe wonders if Maggie thinks Lucas might be her rebound guy.

Kate says she always puts the interests of her children first, "My grandchildren are a different story when it comes to boytoys." Lucas backs off and asks her to let him make his own decisions. Kate just doesn't like watching him make the same mistakes over and over.

Mickey comes in with a big announcement... there is no decision. He runs over to talk to Lucas and asks EJ to go to the office to take care of a matter. "Not a legal matter I hope," says EJ, "I wouldn't know what to do."

Mickey fills Lucas in on the non-decision, "There will be a decision by the end of the day." Lucas wonders if Sami knows. Mickey points out the to unobservant oaf that Sami is right there in the pub.

Hope runs Daniel down and asks what happened that made Chelsea go to France.

Chloe doesn't know if Lucas is just turning to her on the rebound. Maggie asks about Brady. Chloe says, "That relationship was scarred from the start." She doesn't know if Lucas has cut his emotional ties from Sami. Maggie says, "Now is the time to think long and hard. What is it that you want?"

"Just that," says Chloe.

"What," asks Maggie.

"CENSORED," says Chloe.

"Then you don't want Lucas," says Maggie.

Maggie asks if Chloe has thought about what Allie would mean to the relationship, "Being a single parent involves sacrifices. You should think about that." Maggie says Lucas comes with his own set of baggage. She suggests during the time at the cabin Chloe figure out what they both want from the relationship. Maggie has to go. There isn't enough bandwidth in Salem to handle the emails she's going to send out after this conversation.

Nicole finds Chloe as Maggie walks off. Nicole says she's there to walk Pookie. Even for Chloe it doesn't take too much to notice there is no Pookie in sight. Nicole says, "Pookie's with her bonded dog walker. I don't poopy scoop." Nicole wants to know what Chloe and Maggie were talking about. She suggests Chloe might need a drink after talking with Maggie.

Things are pretty frosty back in the pub. Lucas and Sami come face-to-face. Lucas breaks the ice, "Sami."

Sami is overjoyed to see him, "Lucas."

Lucas does his great impression of an irritating guy, "Where's Allie?"

"Home with Barry," says Sami.

"The housekeeper," says Lucas. They start arguing about the housekeeper watching Allie.

Mickey gets a call, turns to Lucas and says, "Chloe picked up the keys to the Horton cabin." Sami has a conniption over Chloe going to the cabin with Lucas. Mickey wants a private word with Kate about her company. Translation: he's too close to the line of fire.

Sami rakes Lucas over the coals about his Chloification. She says she doesn't want Allie anywhere near Chloe. Lucas says that's too bad.

"Chloe isn't a good role model," says Sami.

Lucas asks, "And you are?"

"I'm her mother."

"And Chloe will be her stepmother someday," says Lucas.

Nicole and Chloe walk in and overhear that joyous news, "He's doing his best to make you a mama," says Nicole, "Do they make poopy scoops for babies?"

The shrink meets with Abe and Lexie in Marlena's office. Abe and Lexie don't give him much to work with. He brings up Lexie's infidelities, "We need to talk about those, but it's only an hour session."

Nicole says, "When you date a man with a kid the rules change. The man goes off to play golf and you take care of the kid." Chloe wonders what if she's not ready to be a mother. "Then you have a problem," says Nicole, "Do you care about him?"

"Yeah, I do," says Chloe.

"You have to tell him your concerns," says Nicole. Chloe doesn't know if she can do that. She doesn't want to lose him.

Mickey and Kate talk about her Hearth and Home expansion plans, "Once we get this rolling," says Mickey, "I want to speak to a friend of mine who's into M&A."

"You must have some kinky friends," says Kate, I certainly hope tha.. HACK! COUGH! SPEW! "

Lucas wants to talk about Sami's hatred for Chloe. EJ comes in. Sami asks if there is word from the judge.

Hope tells Daniel Chelsea was upset, "What did you do?"

"Her grandmother."

Abe says he shut down after Lexie's affair. He says Lexie has been distant for months and now she and Daniel have become close. The shrink goes back to the infidelities. Lexie rants, "I've lost my little boy and all you can talk about is the affairs I've had!" Lexie tells them about her daydream. She breaks down and wonders why her little boy can't be like everyone else.

Lucas comes up to Salem's souses, Nicole and Chloe. He asks to talk to Chloe alone. Nicole asks, "Is that code for 'Nicole, get lost?'"

"No," says Lucas, "That's code for Nicole don't ever come back."

She leaves. Lucas sits. Chloe gives him the keys. He says if he gets custody all three of them can go to the cabin tonight. Chloe says she's not going with him.

Nicole joins EJ, "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," says Nicole, "Did you mean it?"

"When I said I couldn't get you out of my system," asks EJ, "Yes."

"Then why try," asks Nicole.

"Because it's complicated," says EJ, "Samanther is an important part of my life. She's the mother of my child." Nicole tells him she's losing her patience so he'd better figure out what he wants sooner rather than later. Nicole leaves.

The shrink can't take any more. He stops the session and leaves. Lexie thinks she's a horrible mother.

"You are a wonderful mother," says Abe, "Horrible wife, though." Abe says they are both looking for answers. Lexie just wishes she knew everything will be OK. So does Abe. He knows they have to do what is best for Theo and for each other. Cuddles.

Daniel says he can't tell Hope what's up with Chelsea. Hope plays the "I wanna help" card. Daniel says this is something they have to work through themselves. The next move is up to Chelsea.

Sami tells EJ she appreciates everything he has done.

Chloe says she thinks Lucas should spend this time alone with Allie. Lucas says no matter what they decide he wants Chloe in his life.

Suddenly, Mickey storms in and interrupts, "The judge has made a decision. He's decided..."

Rod Serling takes over, "You have just entered a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, darkness and dawn, one parent and another. It is a place where no normal judge would ever take us. It is Salem. It is the Twilight Zone of joint custody."

Previews
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