No Wonder I'm Craving Red Meat

Roman tells EJ it's illegal to threaten a guy's life. EJ says they don't have to kill Tony, just get him out of the way. They sit there and bicker about what they both want when what they both want is the same thing. EJ repeats over and over, with more emphasis each time, stomping on whatever Roman might be saying, "We – both – want – Samantha – safe." You have to give Roman credit, actually. He's sitting across from the guy who raped his daughter and not once does he yank the guy's eyeballs out of their sockets or, better yet, not-so-surgically remove the offending organ.

Roman asks, "You want her safe so you can use her like a lab rat?" He tells EJ he knows Tony is watching him, "You're going to have to do a whole lot better to play on my team, slick."

Anna kisses Tony, who reacts like a wet dishrag. Anna backs off and snorts, "Well, you could at least help a little."

Sami and Marlena have a nice little reunion. They talk about the 4th of July party. Sami wonders if OMB tried to convince everyone Thomas Jefferson was Irish. Marlena tells her he had to be dragged to the party. Sami offers to talk to him and pull him out of his funk. Marlena tells her he is in Ireland. Sami asks why. Marlena says, "I think he finally had to confront his past."

Bo and Hope walk into the sanctuary. Hope can sense the presence of Bo's ancestors, the Brady's and the O'Kiriakis.. Bo says the mother superior told him OMB came in and prayed earlier. Hope asks, "What do you think he was praying for."

Bo says, "One of three things. Either Colleen's soul... or his own, or that they would hold the cue cards closer so he could read them."

Hope asks why he would say OMB was praying for his own soul. Bo thinks he feels guilty, but they know from the letters OMB had nothing to do with Colleen and Santo hooking up. Pop used to talk to him and fix his problems but now Bo feels like the dad. They move off as OMB comes in. They walk out and watch as he goes to the front of the sanctuary.

Sami thinks they have to go to Ireland. And if she makes the deal with Stefano they will all be free. Marlena forbids it. She says the procedure will not work, "You cannot give Stefano stem cells, because if you do your babies will die."

EJ says Tony is watching Roman in order to get to Sami. Roman wants to know if EJ is going to double-cross him. He lectures EJ about what a bad boy he was for raping Sami. EJ stops him and says things are different now. He claims he isn't a threat. He wants peace. Roman refuses the peace offer, "Not at Sami's expense. And I don't need your help. What're you and Tony playing 'good DiMera bad DiMera' on me?" EJ insists he is trying to save the life of his unborn children.

Anna boots Tony off the island for the kiss, or lack thereof, "I never could figure you out in the head, but I always could in the heart. Kisses don't change. If I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't Tony."

Tony is impatient, "How about if we find out who I am another time? Stefano is dying and I want to help him." What Anna wants is another kiss. "I don't think so," says Tony, "I wouldn't want to disappoint you twice in one day." Anna starts to move in again.

POP! Bart-in-the-box pops up in the back seat and breaks things up, "Anna DiMera... you are looking especially beautiful today."

Tony turns around, "OH, SHUT UP, BART."

"Well," huffs Anna, "At least you noticed." Bart reaches in his pocket, pulls out some breath spray and gives his mouth a couple squirts.

Tony boots Anna out of the car. Bart stumbles out along with her and gives her his best French, "Adieuuuuuuuwwwww." Anna leaves. Bart gets back into the car and tells Tony, "She digs me."

Tony rolls his eyes, "Oh shut up! You are so stupid!" Tony raises his binoculars and sees Roman's car. He vows to give Roman heartache for years to come.

"This is sounding like fun," says Bart.

"You have no idea."

EJ says he can get to Tony. If they work together they can end this business. Roman doesn't buy it, "Stefano is dying and will do anything for those stem cells."

EJ presses. He says his children's lives are on the line, "I want peace for them for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Roman asks, "EJ, do you really think I'm that big a fool?"

EJ says, "That was a rhetorical question, right?"

"Stefano doesn’t care about the babies any more than you do," says Roman, "Get out of here before you make me angry."

Sami tells Marlena she doesn't want to make the deal if it hurts the babies. Lucas stands by and plays the bobblehead. Marlena says they can't remove the cells before the babies are born. Sami says she thought being a father meant something to EJ.

Lucas ignites, "Don't defend him!"

Marlena says they will find another way. Lucas agrees. He's going to wage his own war against the DiMeras. He takes out his cell phone and orders a gross of whoopee cushions, a carton of brown paper bags to put dog poop in and set at their doorsteps in flames, a dozen boxes of toilet paper to attack every tree they have, and a few stink bombs for good measure.

EJ wants Roman to come to his senses. Hey, it could happen. And Tampa Bay could win the World Series, too. However, if you have to bet on one or the other, bet on Tampa Bay. EJ claims Roman needs him. Roman backs off and tells him to say what he has to say. EJ says Stefano has taken a turn for the worse and doesn’t have much time, "Tony won't let him die."

Roman doesn't understand why not. "If he let Stefano die, that would make Tony rich and powerful." EJ says Tony has to earn that inheritance. He has to get the stem cells to save his father's life first. Roman says nobody gets to Sami except through him.

EJ is ominous, "Then he'll just have to go through you, won't he?"

Bart suggests they create a distraction while they are up to their no good nefarious scheme. He thinks a brick through the jeweler's window would do the trick. Tony likes the idea. He wants Bart to disarm Roman's car alarm and wait for his next command.

"Can I cut the brake lines, too," asks Bart.

"Just the alarm for now," says Tony.

Marlena says the procedure isn't simple. She gives the technical medical details, "The only way the babies can survive is if it is done after they are born, "And even then it's 'iffy' if Lexie is involved."

Rrrrrmmmmmm.... Rrrrrmmmmmm.... Lucas' mouth goes into high gear. He isn't going to let this happen, by Jimminy. Sami says he can't stop it, and then dives into a pity party that would make Belle proud. This is all her fault and she's let everybody down and she wah-wah wanted to be HER.

Marlena is as confused as we are, "You wanted to be who?"

"I wanted to be a woman my kids and grandkids could talk about in a positive way and be proud of fifty years from now. I owe all of you that for forgiving me for all the rotten things I have done."

Marlena stops her, "I love you. We all love you and want you to have two healthy babies and live with the man you love."

Sami is a basket case, "That plan is already out the window."

"Maybe not," says Marlena, "Maybe you can be that woman everyone is talking about in 50 years. Just like Madame Bovary."

Bart works on the alarm and scoots out from under Roman's car, "You won't believe this. His alarm had an alarm."

Tony orders him to jimmy the lock and then leaves. As he walks off, Bart asks when he will be back. "In a few moments," says Tony, "That is, if all I hear is silence."

"If not," asks Bart.

"I'll post your bail," says Tony.

EJ says Tony isn't stupid. He knows he has another plan. Roman asks what that might be. EJ doesn't know what it is, but he does know one thing – he has access to Tony and Roman doesn't. Roman asks EJ to do things legally. He wants him to testify against Tony. EJ stares. Roman asks, "We got a problem here pard'ner? Is that why you're thinkin' about it?"

EJ says, "It won't work."

"If you don't have the stones to do this, then you're wasting my time," says Roman.

"It's not that," says EJ, "My father would see to it that I never set a foot in the courthouse."

"That yellow stripe down your back is showing big-time," says Roman, "Get out of here because you are making me real, real sick."

Marlena tells Sami Roman and Bo want a family meeting with both families. "Are there enough metal detectors in the world for that," asks Sami.

Lucas chimes in, "Where does Sami fit in?"

"Sami would talk to Stefano," says Marlena.

"No way," says Lucas.

"LET HER FINISH," screams Sami. Feel the love.

Marlena says, "You look just like Colleen. He meant a lot to Stefano. Maybe if you speak from the heart..."

Lucas couldn't shut up if he died on the spot, "Maybe I'll put a stake through that heart, huh?" Wrong heart, dipwad.

Marlena is just a bit irritated with Motormouth, "I THINK YOU'LL STAY HOME!"

Sami says she thinks she can make this work, "Maybe I could convince Stefano these babies are the future for his family. Come on, babies melt even the coldest hearts."

Lucas is on autopilot now, "If they don't I'll just bring a blowtorch."

Sami grabs a sock and stuffs it in the perpetual motion machine known as Lucas' mouth, "This can work. I will make it work."

Marlena gets a call. Lucas huffs and struts.

"What is it," asks Sami.

"It's EJ," says Lucas, "He knew the kids would be in danger and didn't care about that. What kind of man rapes a woman and then keeps the kids in danger?" Lucas vows to protect the kids. Sami says he's her hero. "I'll always be your hero," says Mr. Modesty.

Bo and Hope approach as OMB prays.

Flash to Colleen at the altar. She walks to the back of the sanctuary and looks around. She walks out. Young OMB runs up to her and says, "Don't go, Leeny. Stay, please."

Colleen turns around and gasps, "Does dad know yer out and about? He'll have yer hide. Go home."

"With you," says YOMB, "Stay with me, Colleen. Please!"

"We feel her here too, Shawn," says Hope.

"Go back to Salem the both of ya."

Bo says, "Ma's worried." OMB says he told her he would be fine and asks them to leave. Bo says they can't do that. "Then I'll do the leavin'," says OMB. Bo asks him to stay.

Roman wants to know if EJ wants healthy kids, or if he wants Stefano. He says EJ doesn't have the guts to hand Tony over, and do it by the book. EJ wonders why Roman cares, as long as he gets rid of Tony.

Anna walks in and admires the 'eye candy.' "I've got quite an appetite," she says, "And I'm talking about food, just in case you were thinking something else. I am ready to chew my manicured paw off for a meal." EJ apologizes and says he has to leave.

"Can I take a rain check," asks Anna.

"Not a good idea," says Roman.

"Well, he sure seemed grouchy," says Anna.

"IT'S IN THE AIR!"

Anna asks, "What is wrong with all the men in this town? The ones that don't need the little blue pill are all grouches and the rest have lost their magic. No wonder I'm craving red meat."

Bart gets the car open and he and Tony get in. Tony takes the hard drive from the GPS system to see where Roman has been.

Panic in the safe house. Marlena says that was Roman on the phone and they all have to bug out.

Bo and Hope tell OMB they came there to help. Shawn says he is fine and will be home when he is ready. He doesn't know when that will be. Hope sits beside him, "I know you still miss her."

"Every single day," says Shawn Sr., "She was a grand sister. Beautiful and kind."

"And she died before her time," says Hope.

"It never should have happened," he whines. Hope always felt the same way about her mom, "That life cheated her and me."

"You can rest at night knowing you didn't kill poor Addie," says OMB, "But Colleen's death is on my hands. I killed my own sister." BAWL.

Anna wants to go to Chez Rouge. Roman says they have different tastes. He's just as happy sucking down a couple of cold ones with the beer nuts there at the pub. He thinks she has DiMera tastes. "Speaking of which," says Anna, "That guy living in the mansion looks like Tony, but he doesn't kiss like Tony. He's not the real Tony DiMera."

T?o?n?y gets out of the car cradling Roman's GPS hard drive. EJ catches him rushing away. He asks what Tony has. "Get out of my way," snorts Tony.

"You will never find her," says EJ.

"Never is a long time," says Tony. EJ pulls a gun and says he will do whatever it takes to protect Sami. He's taking EJ away where he can't harm Sami.

"Then you'd better prepare a eulogy for father."

Bart sneaks up behind EJ. WHAP! EJ collapses. Bart says proudly, "Elvis has left the building."

Bo and Hope tell Shawn he was a small boy and there was no way Colleen's death could have been his fault. OMB bolts, I'm going home now."

Bo asks one of his standard questions, "What just happened?" He wants to follow, but Hope tells him to wait. She thinks if they push, OMB will retreat deeper into the past. Bo asks another one of his standard questions, "What do we do now?"

"Now we go home," says Hope. They walk out.

Lucas, Marlena and Sami arrive at Bo and Hope's house with a police escort. Lucas asks how long they stay there.

Marlena says not long, since Roman is getting another safe house. Sami don' wanna. Marlena reminds her Tony is after her.

Roman thinks Anna has had too much to drink. She tells him about the kiss. It made her skin crawl. Roman wonders who it is if it isn't Tony. Anna doesn't know, "But I know one thing... I'm not kissin' anybody else until they buy me a decent meal."

Tony and crew break into the safe house. EJ is bound and gagged. No one is there. "You won," says Tony, "What? You didn't think I saw you going in the back way at the pub? Into the enemy's den? There is only one punishment for bad drama. He sticks the gun in his face, "DEATH!"
FF EJ.


Previews
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Kayla holds Ciara, "I wish we had a second chance to raise a baby together." Patch looks like he's been hit by a truck, "NOW?"

Jeremy puts his arm around Max' shoulder and says, "It's a one-time thing... over and done. Are we cool now? Max says, "Now way man! We are nowhere near cool!"

Bart says, "You just whacked your father's youngest son. Aren't you afraid of how he's going to take that?" Tony says, "I'm in charge now."