Wimbledumb vs. DOOL
| Update 07/05/07: Here it is, folks, today's show in its entirety...
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Wimbledumb: THWACK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "But we're just friends..."
Wimbledumb: SMACK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "Stop! We can't do this!"
Wimbledumb: WHOMP! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "Do it for a) me b) yourself c) him d) her e) your family."
Wimbledumb: WHAM! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "I can't let him see me."
Wimbledumb: SPROING! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL" "Let it go for today."
Wimbledumb: SMACK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "You need some time to yourself."
Wimbledumb: THUNK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "I have to move on."
Wimbledumb: THWAP! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "Trust is important."
Wimbledumb: POW! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "The earth... a) moved b) didn't move."
Wimbledumb: SMASH! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "Why didn't you tell him the truth?"
Wimbledumb: PING! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "We should do something."
Wimbledumb: BANG! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "Don't push her away."
Wimbledumb: KAPOW! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "I may have crossed the line."
Wimbledumb: FONK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "He doesn't want to let her go."
Wimbledumb: POOF! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "I want to make it up to you."
Wimbledumb: KLUNK! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "He's in over his head."
Wimbledumb: BASH! k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk k-ponk
DOOL: "We need to talk."
Wimbledumb preempts DOOL: NBC continues its long-standing tradition of making the 1:00 PM EDT timeslot the most monotonous hour on television.
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38 Comments:
EXCUSE ME??
Isn't this why they invented ESPN???
Okay, since we have no DOOL, I say since it is the 4th of July, in the great American spirit of DIY we write it OURSELVES!!!!
I'll start:
___________________________________
SALEM - 5 YEARS FROM NOW:
The annual 4th of July celebration is in full swing at the Brady Pub.
Bo and Hope are hanging decorations and setting out food.
They argue about how much potato salad they are going to need.
Hope tells Bo he just wants it all to himself and she will leave him when he gets too fat anyway.
Colleen Roberts and Ciara Brady arrive.
"DAAAAAAAD! Tell Colleen I get to flash cops when they pull us over to get out of a ticket!!"
Colleen goes behind the bar and pours a beer sulking.
Ciara goes over and starts grazing on the food.
"Ciara! Don't you have to work later today?" Scolds Hope
"After all Salem ER isn't going to run itself, not without it's best ER doctor"
Ciara rolls her eyes and takes a beer from Colleen, they both go sit in a booth. Suddenly Colleen's cell phone rings.
She stares at it like it's a small animal.
"What should I co? Ciara? What if it's HIM again?"
Collen thinks Ciara is over reacting and should just answer the phone. Besides didn't she say she thought Max was hot?
Next....
HA! That's pretty much what's going to happen, Deb. You'll have to add a much disturbed Claire in there. Her miserable childhood without any sane parenting has turned her into Kate Roberts Jr!
I thought of another DOOLism: "I know the truth!" And the truth is this was a very clever way of breaking the pre-emption news and I'm anxiously looking forward to the next issue of Prevuze.
HAPPY 4th!!
Sami Brady-Roberts-DiMera, vowing to turn over a new leaf, opens a bridal shop and makes a fortune selling her used wedding gowns.
Meanwhile, Marlena, with her walker, sits besides John's bed in the hospital, vowing to stay by his side until he's out of his coma. She whispers in his ear details of the geezer sex they'll have when he wakes up.
Billie finally meets a man who thinks she is special and treats her like she is a queen. Kate finally meet Anna, Romans first wife and one true love. Kate being the busy body B**** that she is set her cap to break them up. Stephanie has her faced pierced and is thinking she may marry the father of her last child, he may be the one. Chelsea searches for someone to believe that she has a brain. Nick searches for his b***s. Lexie lost it. Steve found it,and Got rid of the most boring person in network history.
NEXT...
Sami is wearing nothing but a bra laying in bed at a hotel with a shirtless EJ in boxers.
"EJ we can't do this."
"But Samantha you started it."
"I know but I changed my mind you know I do that a lot. What if Lucas finds out?"
EJ explodes "Who cares what that worm thinks about us! Samantha when you left him six months ago you told me it was the last time. When he switched the salt for the sugar when you made that cake for the Brady's you were humiliated."
Sami does the Daze stare and then grinds here teeth. "You're right EJ, that was the last straw." They crawl all over each other.
"Wait EJ I still don't know."
"Samantha," EJ says with his sexy bad boy smile "I always get what I want."
"What are you going to do hold a gun to my head EJ?"
"Technically I never did Samantha, you just prefer to remember it that way. No, no guns except the big one." (Stupid line I know but hey I'm pretending to be a Daze writer!;))
"EJ please stop, no go, oh crap I don't know!"
They romp.
Tom Roberts Dimara stands over the grave of his grandfather Stefano and vows revenge on the Bradys.
"I will ressurect the vendetta father!"
Tony wanders around the corner and smiles like a snake.
Somewhere in a small apartment on the bad side of town Victor Kirikas II (the imfamous Phimi baby) and Claire Kiriakas lay in bed post romp smiling.
The door bursts open and Shelle bursts in.
Belle screams and Shawn looks confused.
Victor II jumps up and yells,
"You can't stop us, we're having a baby!"
NEXT!
Shawn just can't make it in that sales job Phillip got him. He finds the one job he can handle. His career as a crashtest dummy is short, but has a big impact.
Marlena takes a break from sitting at Squint's bedside and shuffles the hospital halls, regretting she never stayed in her job long enough at any one time to actually help any of her patients.
She's shocked when she turns a corner and comes face-to-face with Brady. He's accompanied Chloe, in for her annual face lift to get rid of any hideous wrinkles that might have appeared in the last year. Her career as an opera star had been cut short by a DiMera plot hatched by Stefano when she wouldn't come sing at Sami & Ej's wedding 5 years ago.
Jennifer returns from Europe with Abby after Jack's untimely death. Flesh eating bacteria he contracted after that hand-on-the-grill stunt devoured him like a 4th of July Jack burger. Yes, he is really, really, really, really, REALLY dead this time.
Wanting to get back on TV and looking for something to do together, Jen and Abby decide to take over for Joan & Melissa Rivers doing commentary for E!Entertainment on the red carpet. [Salem, the center of the universe, will be hosting the Emmys and Academy Awards from the new Jack Deveraux Memorial Auditorium for the next few years.]......
"Crash Test Dummy" LMAO!
"Jennifer returns from Europe with Abby after Jack's untimely death. Flesh eating bacteria he contracted after that hand-on-the-grill stunt devoured him like a 4th of July Jack burger. Yes, he is really, really, really, really, REALLY dead this time."
ARE YOU SURE????? Nah, can't be..... in 6 months after having some miraculous flesh-eating-bacteria reversal surgery Jack will come back and go to work for E! right along with Jenn and Abbey.
OK, we seriously need some of you to go to work for NBC as writers for DAZE, and a few other shows I could think of.....
Great work guys! hehehehehe
OK, we seriously need some of you to go to work for NBC as writers for DAZE, and a few other shows I could think of.....
To heck with that. These guys need to take over Prevuze so we can hit the beach with Gidget and Moon-Doggie.
Great update, AC, but you left out the most exciting part... the five years of Chloe whining, "Brrraaadddyyyy, I can't go back until my face is peerrffeecct."
Meanwhile at the Dimera Mansion
With Stefano dead (again) the family has been taken over by Tony and Tom Roberts Dimera (Sami's other twin)
They are hatching their newest plan to destroy the Bradys:
A mind control device that will make the Bradys all weak willed and dim witted.
Only problem is, how will they know it's working?
Billie and Nick are planning their wedding. Sami, Salem's newest wedding co-ordinator is going over their final plans when The Brat bursts in.
"I can't beleive you are marrying my MOTHER!"
Nick smirks as the two women proceed to cat fight over him.
Chelsea says she thinks she loves him, Billie says at least she sleeps with him.
Chelsea says she was planning on it, but she wants to wait until she's sure.
Sami and Nick make out in the kitchen.
Marlena sits by John's bedside reading Sex For Seniors out loud to him.
"Look darling, there is a whole chapter on how to do it when one partner is in a coma! With pictures!!"
As she drools over the book's centerfold, Belle and Claire come in.
Both kiss all over John and tell him how much they love him and they know he will be back with them soon.
From the depths of his coma John says:
"Must...go. . . into . . .the light...must not wake up."
"Look darling, there is a whole chapter on how to do it when one partner is in a coma! With pictures!!"
Huh? I thought your partner was always supposed to be in a coma.
Back at the Brady Pub, Alice has been propped up by the jukebox and OMB comes shuffling in trailing his unraveling mummy cloth.
OMB mumbles, "Don't dig up the past. I don't want to talk about Colleen."
Colleen Roberts saunters up to OMB and states, "But I do. let's talk all about me." as she shoves Alice off the jukebox and onto to the floor to get a better look at the song selection.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Marlena is seen removing her dentures......
Wow! Great entertainment (er, writing!) today, huh? Glad I checked even though Wimbledumb was on.
Seeing the bit about Brady and Chloe, and about Jack's flesh-eating bacteria, I wondered something. I absolutely cannot remember if Brady ever found out about Niccole being the "nurse" that caused the spread of the flesh-eating bacteria to Chloe's face. Did he find out? Or is that one of those things that get dropped.
While we're on the subject of things getting dropped, why is it that when Lucas was always on Sami's case about how horrible she was and how she couldn't be trusted and how she hurt him all over again, why was it not brought up how she took a lethal injection because Lucas was too much of a coward to tell the truth that she shot Franco? Oh, yeah, that was before he got any ba**s and told him mom to stay out of his life. Again. Or did he never admit that he was really the one that shot Franco? I can't remember specifically if he ever told, or just how they got Sami off.
Speaking of Franco, why was Fancy Face always blaming Bo for jumping in bed with Billie? She was the one always pushing him away, and he only jumped into bed with Billie when he thought Hope was gone for good, or when he was drunk. So soon we forget that she was traveling the country with Pretty Boy Franco when Bo got with Billie-the-junkie-going-through-withdrawal-because-of-her-dad-shooting-her-up. Isn't that when she conceived Georgia? And, hey, Bo's a guy. Billie's hot. Not only that, she loved him unconditionally, which even though I'm a MAJOR MAJOR Bope fan, why was it such a big deal that Bo was with Billie when Hope's off banging (and has been thinking of banging for sometime) Patrick. And where's the Hope that slugged Billie after catching them in the mine shaft, or whatever the heck they were in at the time? You'd think she just storm right in that motel room and ask them what the h-e-double l they were doing, punch both of them, and then walk out. She's so blessed wishy washy you'd think SHE was Belle's mom. Oh, that's right, she's Shawn's mom. Wonder why he turned out the way he is.
Moving right ahead with that, Belle needs to get over herself and marry Shawn. She's the whole cause of everything negative that ever happened between them. Well, okay, she can't really take credit for the Willow drama because he was just stupid to sleep with and trust a manipulating hooker. She can't even blame Jan for all that crap. If she wouldn't drag everything out, Jan would have never happened. Besides, she should have known something was amiss when she couldn't reach him and his own parents couldn't reach him. However, she doesn't deserve Phillip, even though he's no angel either, up until recently he was a far better man for her because she actually acted halfway like an adult with him. He needs better than her. Although, I'd actually love to see them together cuz I ceased being a Shelle fan awhile back because of their junior high tactics, I would love for Claire to be with Shawn and Belle. I was pulling for them too long it got boring, but not as boring as this drama now. Belle is an idiot. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. She needs to bump Phil out of the picture and focus on her family, and he ain't part of it. We don't need some weird god-father routine. Quit confusing Claire!
Boy, one thing leads to another. I could go on and on. Have a great day!
Oh, wouldn't Sami be much bigger since she's carrying twins? By the time my cousin was 5 months pregnant with her twins, she looked like I did at almost 9 months! Oh, sorry, I fade from reality. SOAP reality!
Lucas is over at Mythic confronting Kate, " For the last time, stay out of my life."
Kate replies, "I want that witch, Sami out of your life for good."
Lucas whines, " It's my fault for switching the salt and sugar and embarressing Sami. I'm goi8ng to march right over to the bridal shop and get her back."
Will aged beyond his years by is parents inane actions says, "No dad, you're going to march right over to this bar with me and Aunt Billie and Uncle Nick and slam a few Uncle Sam Slingers."
Kate and Lucas both run to the bar and let by gones be by gones in a family 4th of July drunk fest as everyone's AA sponsors look on helplessly.
Yes, a bar runs the length of the Mythic offices
July 7, 2007: Hogan Sheffer is fired and Jim Reilly is re-hired to 'save the show'.
July 8, 2007: Hope wakes up in bed next to Bo. She tells him about this horrible dream she just had about a DiMera/Brady feud.
July 8, 2012: It is later, that same afternoon...
OMG, ellie, don't even THINK that!! If they are ever stupid enough to bring JER back to ruin the show again I WILL quit watching it.
In the meantime, in 2012, the number of times Lucas has disowned Kate has far exceeded the number of stars in the solar system. This time it's over her blaming Sami for the Dept. of Health and Human Services banning Botox.
Next....
This time it's over her blaming Sami for the Dept. of Health and Human Services banning Botox. ROFLMA
Of course, by this time Kate is speaking through an interpreter. She has had so many injections her mouth can no longer actually move.
The interpreter turns out to be Bettina, the illegitimate daughter of Greta von Whos-it and Austin Reed, conceived during the Garden of Eden escapade. SORASed from six to twenty-six, she is manipulating what Kate actually says and is plotting to take over Kate's half of Myth-ick as revenge for being ignored by her grandmother.
Next....
Classic:
A mind control device that will make the Bradys all weak willed and dim witted.
Only problem is, how will they know it's working?
Everyone is gathered at the Brady Pub (I mean, where else would they be?) when a mysterious figure dressed in black shuffles in through the door.
OMB looks up from his Irish coffee, "There's something very familiar about that woman ..." Bo and Hope, spotting Jennifer and Abby some Brady chowder to wash down Abigail's failed attempt at making Devereaux burgers, shake their heads and say in unison, "There he goes again, always imagining he sees Colleen."
Suddenly OMB gasps and clutches his chest. "It can't be!" he whispers, "You passed on to your Great Reward years ago!" Bo gets up and walks over to his old man. "Pop, you've got to get over this 'Colleen' thing -- she's DEAD!"
At this the figure in black chuckles with a strangely masculine timbre. "Come on, Bo," the figure admonishes, "you know no one ever really dies on DOOL!"
Jennifer and Abby stare at each other with the look of someone who actually witnessed one minute of real time only taking one minute on DOOL. "It can't be!" they say as one.
"But it is!" exclaims the figure as she tears away her black shroud to reveal a petite, slightly fleshy blonde woman. "I'm Jack, and I'm back!!!"
"Colleen!!" gasps OMB as he falls to the floor in a dead heap.
"Sami!!???!" cry Bope as they do their best to pick their respective jaws off the floor.
"You can't be Jack," Jennifer expounds, "not only am I pretty sure he's dead this time, I'm REALLY pretty sure he's a man!!"
"I still am!" pronounces the blonde, "I just LOOK a little different!"
"WHAT HAPPENED??!?!" screams the group -- all except for OMB, who has found Caroline's hidden stash of Jameson's under the counter and is making short work of it.
"Simple," CollSamJack explains. "When you thought I 'died' from the flesh-eating bacteria, it was only my skin that died -- the rest of me was fine. So I underwent the world's first total skin transplant! Can't have Philip Kiriakis being one up on me!"
"But why do you look like Sami?" the clueless crowd inquires.
"Simple again," extolls JackSamColl. "Since you all were so kind as to dig up the past, including the long-lost actually-believe-it-or-not dead Colleen, the doctors in Europe had a great idea. Her body was dead, but fortunately for me, she was so pickled from all the Irish Mist she downed trying to forget that she was a part of the Brady clan that her skin was perfectly intact. So the doctors put two-and-two (or one-and-one, or ... well, whatever!) together and -- HERE I AM!!!"
OMB staggers up from behind the counter. "Does this mean Jack's my sister?" he sloshes.
"And am I married to a woman?" wails Jennifer.
"My dad is a girl!" cries Abby (no comment there).
"Ah, Salem," Jack sighs, "there's no place like home!"
Wow, Cfish! Not sure anyone can top that one. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Cfish, you win! Priceless.
BUT WAIT!!
As the Brady clan reels from the new Joleen and wonders if that will make Jennifer a lesbian, Marlena walks in with the comatose John in a wheel chair.
"What's going on??" She is smiling like someone put two fishooks in her mouth.
Joleen turns to her tells her he/she is Jack and the whole story of how he/she got there.
Marlena listens patiently then pulls out a gun shooting Joleen dead right there in the middle of the Brady pub. Then she runs over and screams, "I KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!"
The crowd gasps as she pulls the rubber mask off to reveal......
CARLY MANNING!!!
The undead Carly jumps up ripping off the bullet proof vest she was wearing and announces
"Yes, it's me!!! I am back to take John away with me!"
At this John suddenly comes out of his coma, jumps up and runs to Carly,
"THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE! She was going to force me to have sex with her AGAIN!"
Carly leaps onto Marlena and a huge catfight ensues.
The men gather round to watch elbowing eachother in the ribs and egging the two screaming women on.
Bo claps John on the back and buys him a beer. Pard takes bets on who the winner will be. Max wants in on that action and throws a wad of money at Pard.
OMB staggers out from behind the bar and toasts the crowd,
"God bless us EVERYONE!"
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LOL...Like someone said earlier...we don't need Hogan or JERk, just faithful readers of Prevuze and some amazing fan fiction!
Many thanks to Applecheeks for the flesh-eating bacteria idea, and to tj7812 for reminding me that no one really dies on DOOL ...
You guys are just too clever for words!!! Carly Manning!! HA! Forgot all about her. Who's next -- Kristen?
Anybody want to anonymously send TPTB at DOOL the link to Prevuze?? Might shame them into coming up with a little better story lines!
I love it. Thanks to all for making DOOL so interesting. With out this, I would have to drop out of viewing (oh right, I already did, and only read prevuze.) Actually I catch a few minutes of most episodes, that's enough. I really like the picture of Shawn on the phone. He looks like the runaway bride. I wonder what would make him run??
Ok, since we have a couple of days with no Days (ha, ha), I can finally remember to ask two questions that have been festering in my brain...
Most importantly, I'm sure it's been answered a ton of times before but I'm too lazy to go through all the archives to find out: how does Prevuze see the episode a day in advance of when it airs?
When Hattie the waitress was being primed to take over as Marlena and had all the plastic surgery, etc... I forget, was Marlena playing that character at the time, too? Does she get double pay then for playing two characters or does Days get a freebie on that one?
I remember vaguely at one point they were starting to resurrect Marlena's twin as a storyline. Did that die as writers changed or what was the conclusion to that? I just remember a ton of flashbacks and buildup then nothing....
When they brought back Bonnie's actress to play Adrienne, did they forget that she was playing a new character? Did they REALLY have to make her into someone who runs a struggling C&W bar? Seriously?
Love love love my prevuze -- I'm just bummed when I don't get a chance to check every day and miss the pictures that cycle through and jealous when I read the comments on the funny things I missed!
Thanks!
MY PETITION MADE SOD!!!!!!!!!
I picked up my copy of Soap Opera Digest and THERE IT WAS!!
They reported on my petition to have Matt LeBlanc come to DOOL as Dr. Drake Ramoray!!!!!
I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!
Awesome Deb!
And the ladies could have someone to chase that they are not related to in some wierd way. Eye candy
watching Wimbledon made me feel right at home like I was watching DOOL. The two tennis players represent Phil & Shawn and Belle is the tennis ball!
Fan-ta-bulous, Deb! My issue is always about a week late, but will look forward to it.
Somehow Prevuze has to gather up all of our alternative DOOL story and stick it in a link where we can add to it when we feel in the mood.
This has been a lot of fun, I'm glad Deb started us off on it.
Congrats, Deb! I think it would be great, too, if the petition works and Dr. Ramoray does appear on DOOL.
However - wasn't he a noted brain surgeon or something? If he was, who in Salem would he operate on first?? I mean, those just needing a labotomy are so many they'd be lined out of the hospital door! :P
Hi Anonymous, to answer your question, Hattie the waitress was played by Andrea Hall-Gengler, Deidre Hall's real life identical twin sister. The show used makeup and a prosthetic nose to make her look different than Deidre. Deidre herself only played the Hattie character for a very short time, a few years later.
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