A Flipping Lapdog

The brat goes into the police station and asks if detective Brady is there. The duty officer tells her, "Sorry, Detective Brady is out on a case. You're his kid, right?"

"Kid... spawn from hell, something like that," says the brat, "He's usually on my case."

Chelsea decides to wait. They bring Willow in and the duo exchanges wisecracks.

Sami's phone rings. She jumps like a frog on a griddle. It's EJ. Sami seethes. She says she can't talk. "Why," asks EJ, "Is your poison dwarf there?" EJ says he did what he had to do at the hospital. EJ wants her to call when Lucas leaves.

"You are insane," says Sami.

"No," says EJ, "I'm a DiMera."

Sami hangs up. Lucas comes out and wants to know who was on the phone. She tells him it was telemarketers. Lucas notices Sami is distant. He grabs the phone and looks at the caller ID. The mushroom cloud you see on the horizon is Lucas figuring out the call was from EJ.

Kate meets EJ at Chez Rouge. She tells him she's meeting Lucas later. Kate says, "EJ... You're a man. A poor excuse for one, but still... How do women do it? How do they turn smart men into their fiancées?"

EJ says, "I'm not sure how women turn smart men into their fiancées, but I thought we were talking about Lucas."

Kate vows to cure Lucas' addiction for Sami. She's run out of nasty adjectives for her. They discuss wedding attire. Kate is thinking of wearing funereal black.

EJ says, I think you should wear red to the party afterwards to celebrate them not getting married." That sounds good to Kate.

Max meets Roman at the pub. "Well," says Roman, "If it isn't father Brady!"

"I get it," says Max, "You talked to Kayla and you're peeved."

Roman asks, "Did you pay for the priest's clothes?" Max says Kayla did. Father Roman absolves Father Max.

Roman lectures "Leave the DiMeras to me. It's not your fight."

Max says, "EJ tried to kill me. As long as the DiMeras are going after my family, I'm not backing down. Not for anyone."

Kate decides she looks stunning in red. "And out of it," says EJ. He thinks the chances of Sami and Lucas getting married and living happily ever after are slim. Kate doesn't buy it. What she does buy is another martini.

Kate asks, "Have you heard the saying 'Love is blind?'"

EJ asks, "Have you heard the saying, 'Marriage opens the eyes?'"

"I hope his eyes open before he gets to the altar," says Kate. She wonders if EJ is teasing her with something. She asks if he knows something about them she doesn't.

Lucas and Sami argue about EJ. Lucas decides they should move. They need a fresh start. Sami insists Lucas won and she is going to marry him. He wonders what if the situation were reversed, "What if there was another woman instead?"

"I'd scratch her eyes out," says Sami, "But I wouldn't bother until after she was married to you for more than a week."

Lucas insists they are for real this time and are a happy family. Smooch. Hug.

The brat accuses Willow of stealing her brush. Willow asks why she would have screwed up her meal ticket with Bo and Hope. "Nobody says you are smart," says Chelsea.

Willow brings up the Billie-Nick thing, "When your mom is looking better to your man than you are, it's time to give up."

Lucas has Sami sit down. He tells her he's reading a book on pregnancy. Sami about falls off the couch, "YOU are reading a book?"

"Well," he admits, "I switched to the audio version. Man, some of those words had two syllables."

Sami tells him about the books John used to read to her, "Timothy Leary was his favorite author, but sometimes he would read to me about the princess who knew she had to be back by midnight and it would all end." Lucas insists it won't end.

Sami asks, "Even if an ogre tells you something horrible about me." Lucas promises he will get the evil ogre, "My pregnancy book says women's feet get larger when they are pregnant. I need to know if yours are still the same size. I want to make sure your glass slipper fits."

Lucas leaves. Sami bawls, "He thinks my feet are getting too big."

Kate thinks this wedding is like a freight train. Maybe because it's full of baggage and you can't stop it. EJ points out freight trains can be derailed. Kate doesn't think this one will. EJ thinks love is highly overrated. He gets a call and tells Sami, "I'll be right over." EJ hangs up and excuses himself. He gives her a parting shot, "When it comes to affairs of the heart, things are rarely what they seem."

Kate stands alone and swills her martini, "Finally, something to drink for."

Nick rushes into the cop shop. Chelsea hugs him. Willow heckles from the peanut gallery, "Gag me." Nick tells Chelsea everything will be OK.

"I'm not trying to lecture you," lectures Roman. He rants, "I'm a cop. I'm trained to take a step back. Next time call me or Bo."

Max doesn't buy it, "Since when did they start training Salem cops? " He accuses Roman of sticking by Bo because they are real brothers, "You treat me like an outsider." Roman tells him not to go there. He wants the dirt on the rest of the trip. "What do you mean by that," asks Max.

"Abby"

Max steams, "Kayla has such a big mouth!"

Roman says, "You wanna keep secrets, you find another clan."

Lucas meets Kate and buys her another drink. He looks for EJ. Kate tells him EJ left. "The guy's like a bad rash," says Lucas, "You can't get rid of him." Lucas tells her they're thinking of changing a few things – like where he works and lives. He tells her he knows there is something going on between Sami and EJ. Kate thinks it's just pre-wedding jitters. She has been wondering if there is a reason Sami has changed her mind about getting married.

EJ knocks at Sami's door. She answers, "Dr. Young I presume?" He takes out his phone to call Lucas and tell him about Sami being unfaithful. Sami grabs the phone and hurls it across the room. EJ ain't happy, "You really didn't want to do that."

Sami picks up the phone and begs him not to tell Lucas. EJ tells her she'd waste her life with Lucas, "He's like a flipping lapdog. People like Lucas are worth nothing."

Sami flashes back to Celeste telling her she has something EJ wants, "He wants you." She changes her tune. She tells him Lucas doesn't deserve this. She can't do this to Lucas. She says they both know the baby is EJ's. She's known it all along.

Kate and Lucas bicker about whether the wedding will go off or blow off. Kate says she's not the only one who believes this, "EJ's antennae are up."

"EJ," repeats Lucas, "OK, I'll pay my bill and then kill him."

Kate insists that wouldn't fix anything, "Your bride is the problem. So don't cancel the wedding for my sake. Do it for your sake."

Willow taunts as Nick and Chelsea hug. The cops drag Willow out. Nick says he believes Chelsea. "Not enough to help me," says the brat.

Nick shows Chelsea the brush in his backpack, "Looks like somebody walked away with your hairbrush." Big hug.

Roman presses for the juicy details on Abby. Max says they just talked. Chelsea showed up and he crashed in a chair. Roman can't believe it, "Two beautiful girls in a hotel room in New York and you sleep in a chair? And you call yourself a Brady! Sounds like you had enough time to call me." Max asks what that is all about. Roman says, "I asked Maggie to have Abby tell you to call me."

Max does a double-take, "Maggie knows I was in New York with Abby?"

"Well," says Roman, "The fact is, now that Maggie knows, all of Salem knows."

Max snaps, "Dammit, Roman, you call yourself a cop?"

"I call myself a cop," says Roman, "In order to be a cop, I'd have to work for another police department."

Kate thinks Sami will break Lucas' heart and it's killing her. Lucas checks his PDA, "Darn it! We got past the first of the month and I forgot to disown you again."

EJ wonders why Sami would deceive him if she knows for sure the kid is his. Sami says she didn't want him to take the child. EJ is shocked, "You'd rather have Lucas raise our baby?"

"He knows something is up," says Sami, "He knows the real lie."

"What is that," asks EJ.

"What I want," says Sami, "I want this baby to be yours."

EJ mocks, "Well done! What a performance! Why would you want the baby to be mine?"

"So that my son or daughter doesn't have to feel the way I do... Weak and manipulated. I know you can teach him that he can have anything he wants. I want my baby to be a DiMera."

Chelsea is subdued. Nick thought she would be happy about him stealing the brush. She thinks he could get in a lot of trouble. "What do you mean," asks Nick, "What could be worse than losing the girl of your dreams?"

"Getting the girl of your dreams if she happens to be me."

Nick tells her to let him worry about trashing his life. She gets an idea. She thinks the Salem cops will never think to look in their own back yard, so she throws the brush into the trash. Nick thinks he should leave. Now that Chelsea has gotten what she wanted, he thinks it's 'see-ya-Nick' time. She promises she isn't using him. "Really," asks Nick, "So, do you forgive me for... you-knowing your mom?"

"Uh hum," she kisses him. Nick dives in for more.

Kate and Lucas kibitz. Lucas tells her, "If you hurt Sami, you hurt me." He tells her he has something to say, "Are you ready?"

Sami says she will do whatever she has to do to keep her baby. EJ gives her his conditions. First, they will tell Lucas there is a 50% chance the baby is not his. Then they will confirm her suspicions by getting tests. "Second," says EJ, "The wedding and engagement are off." If EJ is the father Sami and the baby will stay with him for the rest of the pregnancy, "Do we have a deal?"

Chelsea tells Nick they need a cover story to tell his boss. She's going to go tell the duty officer she couldn't wait for Bo. Nick waits. Once the brat is out of sight, he runs to the trash and retrieves the brush. Chelsea comes back and they leave.

Kate tells Lucas to stop being dramatic. He says he doesn't care any more if she accepts Sami. He will pick Sami over her every time. Lucas bolts.

EJ says if Sami strings him along he will tell Lucas they spent the night together. Sami agrees. EJ tells her, "If I knew you were sincere, it would change everything for us."

Sami flashes back to Celeste again. She says EJ would be a fool to trust her. He should watch her every move, "Take nothing at face value. Trust weakens people. I am not a weak woman. And I know you are not a weak man." Sami moves in. They maul each other

Previews
========

Lucas says, "No one's been able to pin a thing on this guy, but it looks like I got him right now." Billie says, "I'm not gonna let you take him down."

Kate says, "You and dear, sweet Sami. The oddest odd couple in Salem I would say." Celeste says, "Oh, would you shut up, Kate?"

EJ tells Sami, "If you're not gonna be my wife then I'm not gonna let you be a mother to this child."

Abe asks Celeste, "So if there is something you want to tell me... Now's the time?"

The raging sea tosses the small craft like a piece of driftwood. As the monsoon pours, large waves inundate the boat. Breathlessly, Belle screams, "Shawn! Shawn! I'm exhausted! I can't go on!" From the back of the boat where the relentless sea soaks him, Shawn screams, "No! Belle! You have to keep rowing! You can't give up! We're almost out of the Tinda Lao harbor!"