Eyes Wide Shut

Nick rushes down the hall of the hospital and comes up to one of Salem's finest. The officer tells him his girlfriend wants to see him. Nick is confused. The officer says, "You know... your girlfriend... blonde... pregnant... You'd better hope the kid gets her looks."

Nick barges into the room. Willow lies in bed reading, "Hey, Nicky! How do you like my new digs?"

Bo and Hope's house is dark as Max comes to the door. The brat comes up behind him and tells him, "You shouldn't have come. I tried to call you. Right after I talked to you I tried to start my car again and old Brangelina fired right up." Max gives her a look. "Naming cars is a girl thing," she says.

"I see," says Max, "Pretending you know how to fix them is a guy thing."

The brat invites him in. Max resists, but she insists, "What's your hurry? I won't bite."

EJ pours champagne. Pop for Lucas, of course. He tells Lucas and Kate he has good news – he's going away for a while to "Sin City."

Lucas beats Prevuze to the punch, "You're already there." EJ, of course, meant Las Vegas, a poor substitute. Lucas is impatient, "Go ahead and tell us. What do you want, a drumroll or something?"

EJ says, "I think we can save the fanfare until I get back with my new bride."

Sami looks into her mirror, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the biggest patsy of them all? " Sami insists again she can't do this. Celeste goes to work on her. Celeste tells her by this time tomorrow, her troubles will be over. "And I will have his blood on my hands," says Sami.

"Or you can end up like Alexandra," says Celeste, "And have EJ take your baby. Which is it going to be?"

"I'm going to knock EJ out with a kiss and leave him to burn to death," says Sami, "How do I live with that?"

"You live," says Celeste, "And that's all that matters. Listen to me, mon imbecile, EJ must die. Tonight!"

The brat reminds Max they used to date, "I remember your moods and you're in one right now."

"Yeah," says Max, "It happens whenever I'm around you." She invites him in to talk about it. Max don' wanna. She says even if he doesn't, maybe she needs someone to talk to. Max breaks down and goes inside with her. He thinks it's great she has this as her new home.

She attaches herself to him like a leech ready for a big meal, "I knew you'd understand."

Willow says she is there because she is having premature contractions. They're keeping her there overnight and then it's back to the jail cell and the other bitch-ho'z. Nick wonders why she wanted to see him. She tells him he's the only guy in this town who has treated her well and she just wanted someone to talk to. She says she's counting on him and the guys in the white coats to come through for her with the hairbrush, "Nick, you have to do right by me. My baby's life depends on it."

Lucas says, "This is really weird. You've been chasing Sami so long, how did you find time to hook up with someone else?" EJ is just tickled he surprised them and offers a toast to his new bride. Kate asks why he is getting married.

"For love," says EJ.

"I can see you in lust, but not in love," says Kate, "How did this happen so suddenly?"

EJ tells them she just walked into his life. He didn't see it coming because she was taken, but now she's not. EJ says he intends to give his bride a proper honeymoon, "One week, maybe two." He needs them to fill in for him while he is gone. Lucas is reluctant to take on that much of a workload. "One would think you actually had a choice says EJ."

Sami is afraid of giving herself away. Celeste rationalizes. If she thinks she can't go through with it, Celeste will just leave. She starts to go. Sami calls her back.

Nick tells willow he won't be the tech running the DNA test. Willow can't believe her whole future depends on a hairbrush. She begs him to help her. Nick doesn't see how he could. "Can you just be my friend," asks Willow.

Lucas says he isn't going to allow EJ to dump a lot of work in him before his wedding. EJ says Lucas has the right to refuse, and he has the right to fire Lucas. EJ brings him up to date on everything that has to be done in the near future. Lucas picks up a pile of papers and says he has to leave for the picture session. EJ says this is the last time he will see him before he is married, "A lot can happen in two weeks."

Lucas asks, "Is that a code for something?"

"No," says EJ, "Just stating the obvious."

Lucas leaves. Kate shakes her head. "What," asks EJ, "Life can change overnight."

Sami thinks maybe she could plead with EJ to try to save what she has with Lucas. Celeste reminds her the last time she did that he raped her, "Don't think you can reach his heart. He doesn't have one." Sami agonizes. Celeste insists she isn't killing EJ, "The fire will do that." The dumbing down of Sami Brady continues.

Sami wanders around the room, inadvertently stops at Will's backpack, inadvertently unzips it, inadvertently sticks her hand in one of the pockets and inadvertently pulls out the $200. "WILLIAM! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" Sami wants to know where Will got that kind of money. Will claims he was just doing work for someone. Sami presses. Will comes clean and admits he was doing the work for EJ.

Willow says she just needs a friend. Nick reminds her she was caught pawning the jewelry. She says just because she tried to pawn the jewelry doesn't mean she stole it. Nick says he doesn't want to talk about it. "Why," asks Willow, "Because you're totally in love with Chelsea? The girl who set me up."

The brat removes her coat to reveal her totally transparent top with black training bra. Max does a double-take. "Come on in and park it," says the brat, "It's so great to be here. You should see my bedroom! It has one of those big feather beds where you jump in and sink down two feet. I think I will cook dinner for Bo and Hope tonight to celebrate my first day here, and to punish them even more." Max wonders how Billie feels about all this. Chelsea brushes it off and goes to the kitchen. She comes back with a beer and gives it to Max, "So, is there anything else I can get you?"

"No," says Max, staring at her getup, "But you can tell me when you went with the 'baby hooker' look."

Chelsea gets closer to him, "I'm not a baby anymore." Uncle Max takes a swig.

Will tells Sami he set up video gear for EJ, "It's cool."

Sami rages, "It's not cool. I told you to stay away from him!"

"What are you talking about," snaps Will, "You spend more time with him than anyone!" Will storms off. Celeste plays her new trump card, "If EJ is doing something like this, he will destroy your whole family." Sami breaks down. She knows what she has to do. Celeste goes over the plans for the evening.

"So this is it," says Sami, "Zero hour."

"Zero hour is later," says Celeste, "It's zero-brains if you're buying it. I know this is hard. But the world will be a much safer place because EJ will be roasting in hell."

Nick says he is sorry, but there is nothing he can do for Willow. Willow says she is just asking him to be her "go-to" guy. She asks him to promise he won't let anyone switch out the hairbrush or anything like that. She pours it on. She knew from the moment she met him that he was a decent guy who would never turn on a friend.

"Don't make me out to be a boy scout," says Nick.

Willow says, "I hope you don't believe everything people say about me. You just have to give me a second chance like you gave Chelsea."

Chelsea wonders if this reminds Max of anything. Max fumbles for words and comes up with, "No." He has to go.

"I remember I was always good at relieving your stress," says the brat.

Max sweats, "That's not what I need right now." He tells her Maggie has been on his case lately. The brat guesses this is about Abby. Max doesn't think spilling his guts to Abby's best friend would be the right thing to do. Abby's "best friend" thinks it would be really good for him.

Kate picks at her food. She says she doesn't appreciate EJ leaving town with all Myth-Ick has going on and dumping it on her. EJ insists Kate is a multitasker. He needs her to pick up his workload so he can spend time with his bride

"Honeymoons don't last forever," says Kate, "especially when a serial killer turns the groom into ground round right after the ceremony."

"This one will last for all the Days Of Our Lives," says EJ. Kate wonders just who the blushing bride might be.

Lucas stomps around the apartment. He thinks EJ ruins every special event they have. He tells Sami about EJ getting married. That gets her attention. Sami asks whom he is marrying. "What do you care," asks Lucas, "Maybe his plane will crash on the way to Vegas and we'll be rid of him." Sami is distant. Lucas asks, "Did I say something wrong?"

"I just want this to be over," says Sami, "I just want to be your wife." Lucas assures her they will be married and live happily ever after. Smooch.

Kate decides to guess who the bride is, "She's probably a pale slip of a thing and your parents arranged the marriage. I will curse you every moment you are gone and I am shouldering the load."

EJ is sure Kate's lovely shoulders can handle the load, "Her name is Brandy Mathis."

"Brandy," says Kate, "What is she, a pole dancer?"

"No," says EJ, "She's an English dancer." EJ suggests Kate Google her. Kate gets out her PDA and starts to tinker with it. EJ tells her to have fun. As he leaves, EJ says, "I can't wait to introduce her. I give you my word, you will love her as much as I do."

The photographer is at Sami and Lucas' apartment. He snaps a picture and announces he has to run off and asks if it is OK if he leaves his equipment there. The minute he leaves, Sami tells Lucas she has to go. Lucas says she can't, since he has a surprise for her, "I booked a suite at the Tower. We'll have a feast. The room has a Jacuzzi. Maybe we can engage in some water aerobics."

Willow asks if Nick will stop by later and maybe bring her a sandwich. He says he will bring her something good. She gives him a peck on the cheek and he leaves. Outside, Roman bumps into him, "Just the guy I'm looking for!"

Max isn't sure he should be talking to the brat about Abby. She reminds him they used to be really close. Max says that's ancient history. Besides, he thinks the problem is Maggie, not Abby.

"Well," says the brat, "I think Maggie is right. Some girls are innocent... naive... And some are older, more mature. I've done things Abby never has. She strokes his hair, "What you need, Max Brady, is someone who knows as much about life as you do."

Sami wishes Lucas had warned her about the big surprise. She has soooo much to do, and she reminds him about all he has to do for Myth-Ick. Lucas thinks they both deserve a night off. He wants to pamper her. Sami says OK. But first, she will go to the store and then meet him. Lucas won't have it. Sami asks, "What about Will?"

"He can get his own girl and his own room," says Lucas, "Actually, he'll be with Billie." Lucas works on her. Smooches. He goes to pack. Sami makes a call to Celeste. She tells her Lucas is making it impossible. Celeste says EJ is leaving the restaurant and is no doubt on his way to the cabin, "Tell Lucas anything."

"It's off," says Sami, "All of our plans for EJ are off."

Roman tells Nick Dr. Parsons is upset because the hairbrush is missing. Nick says he knows, "No one seems to know what happened to it."

"That's not true," says Roman, "We both know what happened to that hairbrush, don't we?" Nick stares.

Max unpeels himself form the brat and chuckles. She asks what is so funny. "You are," says Max, "Chelsea Brady. Woman of the world. When we were together you hardly knew your way around the block. Do you still take your clothes off in the dark?"

"No," she says, "And I kiss with my eyes wide shut." She attacks him.

Sami claims she can't get out of going with Lucas. Celeste tells her, "Go with Lucas and I'll meet you there. If we aren't at that cabin by 9 PM you know the consequences."

Lucas comes out. He asks if something is wrong. "No," says Sami. Her phone rings. Sami looks at the caller-ID and doesn't answer. Lucas asks who it is. "No one important," says Sami, "All that matters tonight is you."

EJ leaves a message, "Samantha, I'm just calling to let you know I'm leaving for the cabin. You don't want to disappoint me. Tick tock." FF.

Nanosecond - The time interval required for light to travel approximately one foot. Picosecond - The time interval required for light to travel the width of a human hair. Blabosecond - The time interval required for a piece of confidential information to travel from Abby's ears to her lips.

Previews
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Willow yanks off her nightgown and says to Roman, "You won't find anything here, commissioner. You can do a strip search all by yourself." Commisioner Brady decides to handle this case himself.

Sami says, "I am not drugging my fiancée." Celeste holds up a lipstick case and says, "Oh but you are, dear."

Kate says to Lucas, "Sami is leaving this hotel room tonight and she's going to marry EJ.

EJ asks, "What are you gonna do if I don't give it to you?" Phillip says, "I'll take it from you."