Suzy Does Salem

Hope has come to spring Kayla from the hospital, "Look at the outfit I picked out for you. It even includes some of that jewelry I've been huckstering all over God's green earth."

EJ interrupts. He reminds Kayla he personally delivered the flowers as soon as he heard about her unfortunate accident.

Patch sits up in his bed and works a crossword puzzle, "What's a five letter word for enigma?"

"I don't know about five letters," says Mitch the guard, "But the biggest enigma I can think of is that this lame show is still on the air."

Bo comes in, "A five letter word for enigma – try 'Steve.'" Bo asks if there were any problems last night. Mitch the guard claims there weren't any. He leaves. Steve asks Bo to un-cuff him. He needs to stretch.

"I think you stretched enough last night," says Bo, "How did you get out?"

Belle reads Teen Idol to Claire. It's the only magazine around, so she has to read it to her even though it's way above her head. Claire doesn't understand it either. Shawn and Gabby come in dripping wet after fighting the bilge pump. Claire throws a fit. Belle gets jealous. Gabby and Shawn make a mechanical date to continue working on the boat tomorrow. She leaves.

Speaking of bilge, Shawn and Belle discuss their situation. Shawn says the boat will make it to Australia, "Don't worry – it has twin berths. Even if the boat were ready we don't have the money for supplies." Shawn thinks it will take maybe a month to earn the money they need.

"I'm going stir-crazy," says Belle.

"I didn't know there was a form of craziness you didn't already have," says Shawn.

Gabby rushes in, "The sheriff is on the way up!"

Marshal Dillon walks into the room, "I've got some really bad news. DOOL has been renewed for another season."

Gabby offers to take Claire for a walk. The sheriff shows them a poster, "There are copies of this posted all over the island."

Belle takes the poster and looks at it, "I don't believe it! We're on the FBI's ten most un-wanted list."

The sheriff says, "Kiriakis put a bounty on your heads."

Belle asks, "A quarter of a million dollars?"

The sheriff says, "Some people on this island would sell their mothers for a hell of a lot less... Including me."

Patch insists he never left the room. Bo isn't in the mood for games, "Forget I'm a cop. I do all the time. What happens in this room stays in this room."

"Is that like what happens in Salem stays in Salem," asks Patch.

"No," says Bo, "What happens in Salem bores the entire world as it happens."

Bo agrees not to charge him if Steve will come clean. Speaking of coming clean, he opens the lye soap and asks Steve what's up with that. They found it in the ambulance that brought him there, "They also use it at the psych facility."


"Well, that explains the food," says Steve.

Bo wants him to fill in the blanks, "Where did you go last night?"

EJ asks why he would want to hurt Kayla. Kayla and Hope can come up with all kinds of reasons, "My trip to Italy. Accusing you of trying to brainwash Steve... John's kidney." EJ isn't amused. Kayla says, "That little accident just gives me all the more reason to keep digging until I find enough evidence to put you away."

Steve admits he took the soap, and says he had to get to the hospital to make sure Kayla was OK. Then he clams up again. Bo says Kayla saw him at the hospital. Steve says she had a nasty bump on her head and must have imagined things.

Hope and Kayla gang up on EJ. He asks how John is doing, "I hear he's going to add breathing on his own to his list of accomplishments."

Hope hauls off to whap him upside the head. EJ blocks her, "And what are your odds of seeing Shawn again. It hear they are slim-to-none. It would seem compared to you my pathetic life is going well."

The sheriff says, "I don't know how you're going to do it, but you have to get off this island yesterday." He hands them back their fake passports and tells them to get out, "The clock is ticking on that bounty."

The sheriff leaves. The blood drains from Belle's head. It didn't have anything to do up there, anyway. The kiddie corps wonders what to do. Shawn decides they can send Gabby to tear the posters down. Belle offers to get a job. Claire volunteers to find a new set of parents.

EJ says he was fond of Shawn when he was his employee. Hope tells him no one knows where Shawn is. Kayla interrupts and gets in EJ's face, "So don't try running anyone else off the road to get information on him." EJ leaves.

"He knows," says Hope, "EJ found out we want to have Shawn make that statement. He's going after him. I have no way of warning him."

Steve says he is doing just fine, "I already told you about the soap. Is the interrogation over yet?"

"I don't know about the interrogation," says Bo, "But I have a few more questions to ask you." Patch insists he didn't go over to EJ's apartment last night. Bo grabs his hand, "What happened here."

"I got hurt in my art therapy class," says Steve, "I was hit by a runaway pottery wheel."

Bo blows up, "Wells wants you in that loony bin where he can get to you any time he wants. You're not crazy, you're just plain stupid."

EJ finds Will in the hallway. He has a couple hundred bucks if Will can help him out. EJ got the VGA converter. He wants Will to help him hook it up. "Do you know how? If you don't have time, I can walk my $200 down the hall to 12C and get young Robert to help me."

The mention of Robert gets Wills macho electro-hackles up, "Robert doesn't know an HDMI from a 1080P. It's a simple VGA component-to-video hookup. You take the HDMI and use the VGA converter to hook up to your 1080P. They call it a VGA converter because the low quality VGA will convert the HDMI to crap on your 1080P, but you can still watch it. If you want to do it, let's make it quick."

Shawn wonders who will watch Claire if Belle gets a job. "What year are you living in," asks Belle, "I know I never can keep it straight." Shawn thinks it's a risk. They argue. Shawn goes to clean the bilge off his bod. Belle asks, "Then what, are you going to come out and drag me by my hair into your cave?"

"I would never do anything like that," says Shawn, "I'd carry you instead. This has nothing to do with me being a macho jerk. That's completely beside the point."

"This discussion is not over," says Belle. It never is.

Hope and Kayla wonder what EJ is up to. They wish Patrick would turn states' evidence so they could get EJ. Hope has to leave.

"When are we gonna be happy again," says Kayla.

"When they cancel this show," says Hope.

Bo asks Steve if he has run out of one-liners. He presses him for more information. He thinks Steve went to a lot of trouble for a woman he doesn't care about, "Listen to me. If I put you in jail, there is no way Elvis junior can get his hands on you." Steve isn't interested. Bo tells him to watch his back, "If you're lucky, he'll go after you. If not he'll go after someone we both love, but that would be OK with you, right?"

Belle reads the local paper as Shawn steps out of the bathroom for our weekly guy-in-a-towel scene. He sees Belle is checking out the want ads and that starts the great Tinda Lao civil war all over again. Shawn doesn't know what to do. But whatever it is, he couldn't do it without Belle.

Gabby returns, "We've got a messy diaper here!" She fakes to Shawn, who doesn't want any part of a messy diaper. The handoff is to Belle who goes into the next room with the poopster.

Gabby soaks in towel-boy and then decides maybe she'd better turn around. One last look and then she turns and tells Shawn all about her adventures with Claire. Shawn shows her the poster, and says they have to ramp up their efforts to get off the island. Gabby volunteers to watch Claire if Belle wants to go to work.

Will works on the setup in his apartment. EJ wonders if he could come over and do it in his place. "Your two hundred bucks got you a lesson, not a private installer," says Will. He asks for EJ's phone so he can test the video.

"What I have to view," says EJ, "Is for adults only."

"My dad was right," says Will, "You're one sick perv."

Bo says if he puts Steve in jail he will be safe. Apparently, he wants to put him in jail somewhere besides Salem. Patch just wants to go back to the funny farm, "The thing is, there is nothing funny about it. But I will be ready if Wells comes after me."

"Why would he come after you," says Bo, "Revenge?"

Hope interrupts and says she has to talk to Bo. They leave. "Later, dude," says Patch.

Hope tells Bo about EJ's visit. She thinks EJ talking about Shawn was a threat. Bo assures he nothing will happen to Shawn, "We gotta get home. I have an idea what he is up to." They rush off.

Shawn doesn't want Gabby in the middle of his war with Phillip, let alone the one with Belle. Gabby is hurt. Shawn appreciates her efforts. Gabby says, "You have something good, you know."

"I'm just trying to hang onto it," says Shawn.

Gabby says she will get the parts and they can go back to work on the boat, "There is an easy way to get off this island – if you take me with you."

Bo thinks EJ is bugging the house. The only reason he would do that would be to try to find Shawn before they do.

Will works on the setup. He gets a call from Lucas and goes outside. EJ plays around with it and gets a picture live and direct from the Hobo house. "Bingo," says EJ, "God, I love reality TV!"

Kayla comes in to see Steve. "You're as pretty as ever," says Steve.

"And you still look like you French-kissed a Mack truck," says Kayla, "But cut it out."

"What," says Steve, "Can't a girl take a compliment?"

"Depends on who is giving it to her."

"The man you love."

"Is that who you are today," asks Kayla.

They argue. Kayla says he promised he would let the people at the loony bin help him. He thinks she should go.

"This is the way it is with you," says Kayla, "You push me away when we start talking about anything real. For 16 years I prayed you would come back. And then last night you held my hand for a couple seconds. I realized all I really was praying for was something as simple as that."

"If you want simple, I'm your guy," says Steve.

"Don't you believe in us just a little?"

"Don't make this something it's not," says Steve.

"We had a deal," says Kayla, "You would take your meds and see the doctor and I wouldn't tell Stephanie."

Patch asks, "Are you threatening me?"

"No," says Kayla, "But the deal is off. Our daughter deserves to know."

"NO!"

Shawn says this isn't "Survivor." Gabby is sick of being stuck there. They argue. Gabby plays her trump card. She says she has money – $500. Enough for supplies. Shawn resists. Gabby begs. Belle walks out. Stare-a-paloosa.

"Go ahead," says Steve, "You know what she'll do. She'll drop everything and come here. I will refuse to see her. Please leave her out of this. She's happy."

"She's confused," says Kayla, "If she can't handle this, we'll help her."

Steve tells her to go ahead and make the call. Kayla assures him she will, "I do love you." She starts to leave.

Steve gasps, "Kayla!" Kayla ignores him and walks out of the room. Steve makes a face.

Kayla calls Stephanie, "I need to talk to you about your papa."

Bo will call the tech guys to sweep the house. Hope wishes they could warn Shawn. Bo says if he calls they will find a reason not to talk to him.

EJ watches, listens and taunts. Bo and Hope decide to stay at the pub until the house is clean. "Elvis is just a punk in a two thousand dollar suit," says Bo.

EJ says, "Three thousand, but would expect him to know?"

Will comes back in. He says he has to get to school. EJ offers to write a note to his teacher. Will declines and disassembles everything, "I figure you can hook this up over in your place. Now you don't have to miss 'Suzy does Salem.'"

"Master Will, you have such a naughty mind," says EJ.

"I'm an adolescent," says Will, "What's your excuse?"

"I watch Days Of Our Lives."


Previews
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