Can't They Just Let Us Have Sex?

Joel the morgue attendant, who makes Nick the Geek look like Hollywood's next leading man, greets Abe and Lexie as they arrive at the morgue. He told them there was bad news that couldn't be discussed over the phone. Bones has disappeared.

Conner interrupts Bonnie as she starts to make a call. She's upset. She has a skeleton to get rid of. "You told me you didn't have a plan," says Connor, "So whatever happens now is up to you, lady."

Max startles Mimi as he wakes her up. He brought her two coffees. He didn't know whether she wanted a single latte or double. She takes the double. Small talk about how they slept. Max had to get up and take his second cold shower at 4AM. Smooches.

Shawn tells Belle they won't lose Claire. Bo and Hope walk up. They are there to support them. Hope tells Belle Victor won't get away with this.

Bo takes Shawn aside and tells him to keep his temper in check. "Damn," says Shawn, "I guess I should have parked outside."

Marlena also arrives. She wonders why Belle didn't tell her this was happening. Belle says she didn't want to make her more upset. Marlena will, of course, be there for her.

Evil Victor walks up. "I am never going to forgive you for this," says Shawn.

Abe freaks. He wants to know what happened. Joel tries to explain. He thinks Bones was stolen.

Connor wants to know what Bonnie wants from him. She doesn't even have a plan.

"What would you do if you were in my place," asks Bonnie.

"Step in front of a bus," says Connor, "Other than that, I'd find a place to stash those bones where no one would ever find them again."

Victor and the group argue. Bo asks to talk to Victor in private.

Belle says she had a dream about Claire. She was crying for her. Shawn swears they will get her back.

Bo asks if Victor is really going to take Claire. Victor says it's for her own good. Bo suggests a compromise. Victor says he tried that and Shawn and Belle refused. Bo thinks it was a lame compromise. Victor tells Bo Phillip is on his way back, "The judge will look at the facts. Phillip's name is on the birth certificate." Bo tells him to let his little boy fight his own battles.

"It's a father's job to stand by his son," says Victor.

"I'm your son," says Bo, "I don't remember you standing by me."

The litigants are called into the courtroom. Bo and Hope wish Shawn luck. Likewise Marlena.

Abe continues his rant. He wants everyone who works at the morgue brought in for questioning. Joel doesn't think it was an inside job. He tells Abe about Connor's visit. He thinks Connor did it.

Bonnie tries to think of a place to hide Bones. She suggests the dump. "That won't work," drawls Connor, "Dogs would get to it. The dump owner would find it and turn us in to the cops." Bonnie suggests hiding Bones under Patrick's bed. Connor vetoes that and suggests sticking him in the back yard.

Hope's manservant, sometimes known as Bo, goes to get her some tea. Hope and Marlena talk about John's situation. Marlena saw a specialist who said there is no hope. Marlena doesn't know how she could put John in long-term care. Hope asks what John would tell her to do if he could talk right now. "I don't know," says Marlena, "But I am sure he would squint while he was telling me."

"I think you know what he would tell you," says Hope. Marlena goes for a walk to clear her mind. She'll be back in a jiffy.

The judge asks Victor to start. Victor says he is there solely out of concern and holds no malice toward Belle or Shawn. He thinks Claire would be better off with her father. He goes through a litany of their sins, "Shawn took up residence with a known prostitute, Willow Stark, a relationship that ended in violence. He deliberately drove his car into my living room. He also drove his motorcycle through a window at St. Luke's. He has no job, no permanent residence. He has lived in the back of a garage and, for a while, on his father's boat, which he sank. For a while, he shacked up at YW CA. Belle is sweet and well meaning. But she has no job, no income. She lives with her parents. Her mother has a history of mental instability, which Belle obviously inherited. Her father is in a coma. Let's forget the fact that if her father dies, she will inherit enough money to make Bill Gates look like a homeless bum. And, there is one additional incident that is the last straw."

Shawn pipes up. The judge tells him to shut up.

Victor tells the court about the kidnapping, "Shawn's name is not on the birth certificate because he never made a claim for paternity." Shawn protests and says he was going to do that. The judge once again cuts him off at the knees.

The judge tells Shawn he may now present his case if he can struggle out of the mud he has just been dragged through. Knowing Shawn isn't the most articulate ree-tard in the room, Dan the lawyer man immediately steps in. He says their mistakes are out of love. He presents the petition, which has been signed by, Steve, Kayla, Max, Bo, Hope, Marlena, Mickey, Maggie, Roman, Abe and others. Lexie was notably absent from the list.

"Where did you find Mickey," asks the judge, "I'd like to hear from Shawn and Belle themselves."

Joel wonders if this might have been a high school prank.

"Most people in Salem don't even make it to high school," says Abe, "But, if it's a prank, I'm not amused." Abe wants to send a sketch artist so they can get a drawing of this kid. As they go, Abe starts to make the call for the artist. He doesn't think it was a prank, "The killer probably stole the bones."

Bonnie is thrilled with Connor's suggestion, "We'll bury the bones tonight when it's dark. For now we will put him in the basement."

"What you mean 'we' Kemo Sabe," asks Connor.

Bonnie says, "You wanna be a cowboy? It's time you learned to 'Cowboy Up!' Now, go get those bones!" She runs him out the door.

Max and Mimi smooch. Mimi thanks him for letting her crash there. He says she is welcome any time, "Or you can just move in." Mimi stops breathing.

Shawn claims they are not terrible parents. He says he is working hard to turn his life around. He says Phillip abandoned Claire. When he did, Shawn stepped up and committed to giving her the best life possible. He got his job back as a mechanic. He moved in with his parents so the three of them could be together, and someday they will get a place of their own. He says Belle is an incredible mother, "Belle would give her life for her daughter."

Belle's turn. She says Victor lied to them, "He knew Shawn was the father and didn't tell us. He lied about Phillip's whereabouts. He lied about spending time with Claire and never said a word about taking her to see Phillip. And now he is lying about us being bad parents. We would never put our daughter in danger." Belle breaks down as she points out Phillip isn't even here today, "Please don't take my daughter away."

Mimi asks Max if he just asked her to move in with him. Yes he did. "I'll sleep on the couch or you can sleep on the couch and I'll take the bedroom or whatever."

"What if we both took the bedroom," asks Mimi, "Do you want that to be an option?"

Max asks, "Do you want that to be an option."

Mimi asks, "Do you want that to be an option."

At some point, they finally realize it's going nowhere so Mimi says she thinks they should stick to their plan of taking things slow, "We haven't even been together." Max never would have guessed.

More smooching. Mimi thinks she should get ready or they will not make it to the hearing. She leaves. "Wow," says Max.

Connor brings the bag-o-bones inside. Bonnie tells him to hide them behind the boiler. Connor wants her to do something in return. He needs cash to get his bike out of the impound. Bonnie agrees to give him the money for that, even though Mimi was supposed to, "Now get those bones down there!"

"Done and done," says Connor.

"Great and great," says Bonnie.

Abe knocks and shouts through the door, "Bonnie! It's Abe Carver! I need to talk to you!"

Bonnie turns to Connor and whispers, "Cops! Cops!"

Bo and Hope wonder what is going on in the courtroom. Bo thinks Victor can't prove Shawn doesn't love their daughter. They rationalize in favor of Shawn. Willow walks in. Bo asks what she is doing there. "Good question," says Willow, "Why would I be here?"

Connor hustles the bones into a cabinet as Abe yells. Bonnie invites them in. Abe says they are looking for Mimi. Bonnie stammers and asks why he would be looking for Mimi. Abe says he just needs to talk to her. Bonnie tells them she is over at Max' apartment. She hustles Abe and Lexie out the door, shuts it and turns around. She and Connor breathe a sigh of relief.

Abe asks Lexie if Bonnie seemed nervous. "Yes," says Lexie.

"Like she had something to hide," says Abe.

The judge isn't convinced Claire would be in danger with Belle and Shawn. Victor says he is really concerned with Shawn's involvement with criminals – Patrick and EJ. Shawn freaks, "That is not true!"

Victor asks for someone to be brought into the courtroom. Willow steps in and is sworn in. She tells the judge Shawn worked for EJ in a 'cash under the table' deal, "Even after his father told him EJ was under investigation. Shawn knew EJ was no good. All he was interested in was the easy money"

Belle goes supernova, "He needed the money because he was thinking of Claire!"

Willow says Shawn never even mentioned Claire. Shawn tells the judge that isn't true, "You knew I loved Claire. You got dumped and burned down the apartment!" The judge tells Shawn to shut up.

Willow claims the fire was an accident. The attorney presents a police report saying it was arson. The judge excuses Willow. Willow says, "I just don't want Claire to turn out like me." She stares at Shawn and Belle on the way out.

Mimi is ready to go. Max is ready for something else. He thinks she looks beautiful. "Flattery will get you everywhere," says Mimi. They maul each other, but a knock at the door interrupts them. Knockus Interruptus. "Damn," chuckles Max, "What's with the people in this town? Can't they just let us have sex?"

Abe and Lexie come in. Abe has news. Bones is missing. Mimi wonders who would have taken him. Abe thinks it's someone who knows who he is, "Maybe even the killer." Abe says he has no idea who it might have been. The composite drawing is coming soon. He asks Mimi if she remembers anything about the ring. Mimi says she will let him know as soon as she does, if she does. Abe and Lexie leave.

Mimi says, "Max, why don't I have a good feeling about this?"

Hope badgers Willow. She wants to know what Willow did inside the courtroom. Willow sneers, "I didn't do anything your son didn't deserve."

Willow leaves and Bo says no one will believe her. Marlena comes back. She wonders what's taking so long. Bo says, "One thing is for sure. The judge won't give Claire to a phantom. Phillip can't expect to win when he is hiding from the world."

Connor says he checked the whole block. There is no surveillance. He wonders why Abe was looking for Mimi. Bonnie says, "Mimi doesn't know anything about Bones and that's the way it will stay. Now get those bones to the basement!"

Attorney Dan talks about Willow's questionable credibility. He also notes Phillip isn't there. Victor says Phillip was wounded. The attorney says the court is duty bound to demand Phillip's presence.

They wheel Phillip through the crowd outside. "This is not good," says Bo.

The judge asks, "What do you say to that Mr. Kiriakis? Is your son well enough to address this court or not?"

Victor says, "Your honor, I give you my son... Phillip Kiriakis." They wheel the mummy in wearing his marine uniform.

Shawn puts his arm around Belle as they wheel what is left of Phillip's body forward.


Previews
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Nick says, "I'm gonna take your advice Abby. The next time Chelsea writes to Shane Patton, I'm ending it."

Marlena tells a distraught Belle, "Don't you dare give up. We'll get Claire back."

Bo tells Shawn, "If you go after Phillip, you'll be making a big mistake."

Lucas says, "You wanted a second chance, baby. You got one now." Sami gives a nervous laugh, "This is the part where you really want to tell me not to blow it." And they share a LUMInous kiss.