The Horizontal Mamba

The brat arrives home as Nick and Billie scramble to hide their sins. Nick scampers into the bedroom as Billie tries to compose herself. The brat comes inside and surveys the damage, "OMG, what happened here?"

Hope talks to the nameless newborn, "You've made Mommy and Daddy so happy. No one has ever gotten a better gift for the New Year. Even if Patrick hadn't said Bo was the father I would have known."

Marlena arrives to offer her congratulations. Blah, blah, new baby talk. Hope asks about John. Marlena says, "He's still in the operating room. We don't know anything yet. I'm glad we have this new baby to change our focus."

Enough girl talk for Bo, "I think I'll leave you ladies to talk,"

"No," says Marlena, "Don't go. There is something I'd like to talk to you about."

Belle and Shawn sit waiting for news about John. Belle thinks dark thoughts.

"You can't think that way," says Shawn. Belle just can't lose him. Shawn vows to be there for her as the drums in the background metaphorically mimic John's struggling heartbeat.

Bonnie arrives to find a distraught Mimi. Bonnie is also upset. She tells her Patrick has been transferred from the Salem PD to the county jail.

"OMG," says Mimi, "He's in a real jail! "

Bonnie also tells her Patrick has been in cahoots with EJ Wells. She says the cops told her he also kidnapped Hope. Mimi can't believe that. She rationalizes his host of crimes. Bonnie tells her Patrick helped deliver the kid, but it's not his. He bribed the doctor to alter the results of the tests. Bonnie wants to go see Patrick immediately, but Mimi says she wants to wait until tomorrow. Patrick is probably pooped and so is she, after her ordeal with Abe. That peaks Bonnie's interest. Mimi goes on to tell Bonnie about what happened to her in the church basement, and being questioned by Abe. Bonnie falls to pieces as she hears the touching story of Lt. Dan.

"Murdered," she wails, "And left to rot in a church basement? OMG!" Bawl.

Mimi wonders why Bonnie is taking this so hard. Bonnie asks, "Do the police know who this guy is? And why are they so sure he has been murdered?"

Mimi tells her Abe said he would keep Max and her informed. She hesitates, "And there was this ring with an insignia on it. It looks familiar." Bonnie is distraught. Mimi asks if something is wrong.

"It's everything with Patrick and now you're involved in some creepy murder." Mimi tells her it's not like she is a suspect. It's just all too much for Bonnie to handle. She begs Mimi to go to the county jail tonight. Mimi says ok.

Belle reminds Shawn of the woman they met at the café the other day. She says she swears she just saw her looking at her. She had a little boy with her. Shawn thinks maybe the kid is sick or something. Belle decides to go find her.

Bo apologizes to Marlena for having John take his place in the sting. Apparently, Marlena has calmed down from her satanic rage earlier. She tells Bo what happened to John was not her fault. She apologizes for her tirade. She thinks she never should have made John make that promise in the first place. She knew how much he wanted to be involved in the case. Marlena doesn't want Bo to blame himself either.

"Thank you," says Bo, "I'm glad to see your exorcism worked so quickly. If there is anything we can do, just let us know."

Marlena says, "There may be one thing. Before John went into the OR, he tried to tell me something. I'd like to get your read on it."

Billie yawns and tells the brat she fell asleep and had a really bad dream. She says she was tossing and turning quite a bit.

The brat surveys the catastrophe that once was a living room, "Yeah, it must've been some dream."

Billie says it was really rude of her not to be there when Nick showed up. The brat tells her about her brief waitressing career. She shows her a whopping $42 in tip money, and tells her about getting fired, "Don't worry. I'll get another job."

"Hey," says Billie, "Do I look worried?"

"Yeah," says the brat, "Actually you do. Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

Nick struggles to get dressed. He realizes his belt is missing.

Billie insists nothing is bothering her. "Mom," says the brat, "It's me. I know you. So, come on. Just spill it." Pan to the telltale belt. Billie claims the holidays have just stressed her out. Chelsea asks, "When Nick stopped by, did he leave anything for me?"

"No," says Billie, "It was all for me." Was he supposed to?"

The little snot pouts, "No. I was just hoping he had found out who my Internet mystery guy is."

Billie lectures her for not being there when Nick arrived, "You're not interested in him, are you?"

"Mom," says the brat, "You have seen him. What do you think? He's nice, but he's not much when it comes to romance. He's kind of like my little lap dog."

"Yeah," says Billie, "He spent some time in my lap, too."

Nick listens and huffs, "LAP DOG? If that's what she thinks about our relationship then I'm done wasting my time... No. I guess I'm not. In fact, if I can get her to change her mind, I'm not really wasting my time." He surveys the room and heads for the window.

Bonnie paces. Patrick comes in sporting his attractive orange outfit. Mimi asks what he was thinking. Patrick tells her he knew what he was doing and now he has to pay the consequences. He swears to them he will never be in this kind of trouble again. Bonnie says it's good he is being strong and she believes him. Bonnie encourages Mimi to tell Patrick about the skeleton she and Max found in the church. Mimi doesn't want to bother Patrick with her problems at a time like this. Bonnie says, "I'm sure Patrick will be interested, won't you son?"

"Yeah," says Patrick, "I want to hear all about it."

Marlena tells Ho and Dope about John's labored words before he went into the operating room. Bo thinks he may have been talking about EJ, who had shot him. Marlena thinks it had much more meaning than that. Marlena feels like a failure since she can't figure out what he meant.

Mimi tells her tale. Patrick wonders why they dressed him in a civil war uniform. She hopes they find the killer and wonders why they are talking about this. They need to be talking about Patrick's defense. Bonnie reminds them that will take money. Patrick doesn't have any, since the cops took everything he had. He says Bonnie could pay him back everything she has been stealing from him. Bonnie stares.

The brat says some guys like being pushed around. Billie doesn't think so. "If you knew Nick as well as I do," says the brat, "you wouldn't be saying that."

"You'd be surprised what I know," says Billie, "And if you're not careful, you're going to lose all of your friends."

Chelsea sits on the couch and takes off her shoes. She discovers the belt. She dangles it in front of Billie, "Hey, Mom... who does this belong to? You are so busted! You had a guy here!"

Billie says, "It's probably Patrick's."

Chelsea says, "Oh, no, Mother, it's too small to be Patrick's. So, tell me – who were you with tonight?"

Nick struggles with the window but can't get it open. He listens as the brat says, "Come on, Mom. Admit it. You had sex with somebody tonight. I think it's great!"

Belle meets up with Beverly. The doctor interrupts. He says all he needs is her badge number and she and Eli can go. She drops her badge and Belle picks it up, "You work for child protective services?"

"Yes," says Beverly, "I really have to go. Eli's foster family is waiting for him." She hustles off.

Marlena says all she knows is John all of a sudden got agitated and tried to tell her something. Steve and Kayla were there but she didn't talk to them about it. She was too upset. Bo says he will talk to Steve and see what he thinks.

Marlena says, "He just kept repeating 'killer.' I wish I knew what he was trying to say.

Bo hesitates, "It's just a hunch, but maybe he was trying to say, 'killer.' " He leaves to find Patch and check on their nameless little girl. Hope tries to reassure Marlena. All Marlena knows is she just can't lose him.

Bonnie tells Patrick to watch his tongue, "I'm still your mother."

Patrick snorts, "Then start acting like it and give me the money you stole from me. I want a good lawyer, not some overworked, underpaid public defender, or, God Forbid, Mickey."

Bonnie says she would give him the money if she had it. Patrick wants to know where the money went. So does Mimi. Bonnie shoves her purse at Patrick, "Here, search if you don't believe me."

Mimi offers some cash she has saved from the two jobs she never goes to. It should be enough to pay for a couple minute conversation with a good attorney. Patrick is grateful and says he will pay her back.

Bonnie asks for a moment alone with Patrick. Mimi obliges and leaves. Bonnie gets down to business, "Listen to me. If they ever get any idea who those bones belong to, you and I are in big trouble."

Marlena apologizes for being so emotional. Ever since she got her memory back she's been having huge mood swings. She remembered she is Belle's mother. "John and I have been soooo close lately. I didn't expect to have my feelings for him come back so much stronger. But they did."

"It's the same for me and Bo," says Hope, "I guess this is what happens when you get a new writer."

Marlena says John has made her believe in herself again. She can be there for her family. Hope says it's not just John. It's also her inner strength. Marlena can't believe God would get John and her back together and then separate them again. Hope assures her He won't.

Bo asks Shawn how Belle is holding up. Shawn tells him she is hanging in there by that delicate thread that somehow provides Belle's only connection to reality. Shawn apologizes for being such a jerk about the EJ thing. Bo gives him a double fisted chest punch and tells him to forget about it. Shawn is just glad Bo and Hope are back together with a new baby daughter, "... who is YOURS! Can you believe Patrick almost pulled it off?"

"Bribing Dr. Bader," says Bo, "That is one woman who will lose her license and is going away for a very long time. I'd hate to be in her shoes. She could get Judge Fitzpatrick and get slapped with two hundred hours of community service."

Shawn thinks it was quite the coincidence that they both had a daughter they didn't know about. "Yeah," says Bo, "The odds against that are staggering. Almost 2 to 1 in Salem." Shawn can't believe all the mistakes he has made. Bo thinks they will both be stronger for owning up to their mistakes. They share a guy hug as Belle returns.

Bo runs to the cafeteria to feed his face. Belle tells Shawn about Beverly. She works for CPS and was really unfriendly when they talked today, "I know I'm probably overreacting, but since Claire was kidnapped, I don't trust anyone."

The brat presses Billie about the guy she had sex with. She wants to know who it was. "Nobody you ever met," says Billie.

"You brought home a pickup," asks the brat, "It means you're getting over Steve." Billie wants to drop it. It's far too entertaining for Chelsea. She's going to take a shower. She asks Billie to make some popcorn so they can sit and talk all about it when she gets back.

Nick runs around the room like a crazed pinball.

Nick watches from under the bed as the brat undresses. She goes into the bathroom and Nick bolts. Billie has a cow as he comes out of the bedroom, "YOU'RE STILL HERE?"

Billie starts to hustle him out the door as the brat comes out of the bedroom, "Hey, Mom, do you have any sham... What are you doing here again?"

Bonnie begs Patrick not to tell the cops he knows anything about the skeleton. Patrick assures her he wouldn't implicate himself in another crime. Bonnie freaks, "It's not just about that. It's about Mimi. If she found out what I did she would never understand."

The guard comes to get Patrick. Bonnie whispers, "What if some smart detective ID's those bones. How am I gonna protect myself with you in prison?"

"If that happens," whispers Patrick, "You are on your own."

Belle doesn't trust Beverly. When they met her that day, she was asking lots of personal questions. She wonders if they were being investigated.

Nick says he came by to see if she was there. He decides he should go. The brat is certain he came back to give her news about Lonely Splicer. "You're right. I finally figured out who he is. His name is... Shane... Patton... Shane Patton." No gun being available, Billie gives him a look that would kill.

Shawn wonders why CPS would have any interest in Claire, "I am going to protect you and Claire. Do you understand? If we stick together, nobody can hurt us."

Bo interrupts the tender moment and tells Belle her dad is out of surgery and the doctor wants to talk to her and Marlena.

Bonnie warns Mimi to back off of the thing about the skeleton. Mimi tells her goodnight and goes in to see Abe to get his advice about defense lawyers. Bonnie walks away and makes a call on her cell phone.

Nick tells the brat Shane Patton is a brain surgeon, "He works at a hospital on the west coast. San Francisco, San Jose, San something. He had to leave Salem because, as a brain surgeon, he couldn't find work."

She hugs him and thanks him, "You know... your after shave kind of smells like ladies' perfume." Billie goes to get the shampoo.

The brat starts to show Nick out, "You know, between you and me... I think my mom had a guy here tonight. I think they did a little bit of the horizontal mamba. How wild is that?"

Nick is just shocked. She hustles him out.

Bonnie says, "It's your mother. Your brother is in jail and your sister has stumbled onto something that could ruin our family. I can't explain on the phone. Get your fanny on a plane and get back to Salem or the Lockharts are going down in flames."

The surgeon explains, "John is out of surgery and he is out of any immediate danger. One bullet went through the hole in his head so it didn't hurt anything, but his chest wound has caused some bleeding in the lungs. His brain was deprived of oxygen. We don't know for how long. He may have suffered brain damage."

"I can relate to that," says Shawn.

John is in a coma. The doctor doesn't want to give them any false hope. Belle falls apart. Marlena hugs her and thanks the doctor. Hope suggests they all say a prayer for John as the doctor leaves.

Bo, Marlena, Shawn and Belle gather around Hope's bed as she prays for a miracle.


Previews
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Max tells Mimi, "I don't want you to go." They kiss as Shawn walks in holding Claire and witnesses the disgusting display.

Belle says, "You're telling me my dad might never wake up?" The doctor says, "The odds are not in his favor." Marlena looks on.

Patch asks, "You don't believe what Marlena said – that he was responding to me being in the room, do you?" Bo says, "Well, he definitely got worked up about something."

Kayla tells Hope, "I have this fear that I'm gonna wake up someday and he's gonna be gone."