You Womenz Iz Evil

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Max works in the garage. Mimi comes up behind him and startles him. He says he's glad to see her. She says her family is driving her crazy, "The circus is in town. If I had anywhere to stay tonight I wouldn't go back to that nuthouse."

Patch Kayla and Stephanie are at Chez Rouge. Stephanie says she has news.

Abby freaks, "You slept with Chelsea's mom!" Nick swears his belt is at the gym. Abby says, "I want you to tell me the truth. I am your friend and your cousin."

Nick says, "OK! It happened! But only once."

Bo meets Billie at the pub. She tells Bo she found her own apartment, but the whole Steve thing is bothering her. Things fell apart after she got his letter, so she drank herself into oblivion. Bo tells her it was just a slip. Billie says she wanted a drink today but hasn't taken one. She's afraid she's gonna do it. Bo hauls her to an AA meeting. He just happens to know when all the AA meetings are going on in town.

Abe and Lexie walk into the station. Lexie is nervous about being the only eyewitness. Abe encourages her, "Lexie, you are our whole case. Without your testimony we can't put EJ away."

Lexie whines, "What if I made a mistake, Abe?"

Abe tells her all she has to do is put herself back at the boathouse and tell Roman what she saw. He can't be there with her. She says she will be OK. He has to go take care of business. Lexie worries because it's dark outside and his eyes aren't good. Abe says he will be OK as he heads into the big bad dark world.

Roman greets her. Lexie asks to make a phone call before they get started. Roman leaves and Lexie dials. Tek picks up. She asks him to stay on the line so they can be sure it was EJ. He agrees and Lexie walks into Roman's office with her phone on.

Abby is amazed, "That is so wrong on so many levels. Tell me all about it." Nick insists it just happened. It won't be a regular thing. He is in love with Chelsea. He begs her not to tell. Abby stares.

Stephanie wants Patch and Kayla to guess. Kayla says, "It's obvious. Look how beautiful she looks tonight. She's absolutely glowing. I think she's pregnant!" Patch swallows his wine glass.

Mimi apologizes for dumping her problems on Max. Max says, "If you really don't want to go home tonight there is a solution. Why don't you stay with me?"

Patch hits the roof, "You're not even married!" The girls practically fall on the floor laughing. Poor ole Patch isn't amused, "You womenz iz evil."

Stephanie says he got a job offer to join a new racing team, "I said yes and I'm moving to Dayton, the racing capital of the world."

Abby is so disgusted she can't wait to hear more, "What was it like? Was it weird?"

Roman lays out the lineup pictures, "Can you ID him?"

Lexie lectures him, "Roman, you know I know EJ. Stop treating me like an idiot."

"Then stop acting like one," Roman goes over what he needs her to do.

Lexie asks for some time, "I need five minutes to clear my head."

"What are you going to do with the other four minutes fifty-nine seconds," asks Roman.

Mimi says it's nice of Max to offer. Abe interrupts. He tells them they sent 'Bones' in for analysis. It might be a month or more before they know anything. He says, "The ring was stolen, and definitely not during the civil war."

Stephanie says she will start in the pit crew and will be racing again soon. Kayla congratulates her. Stephanie says they want her ASAP. She hopes that won't be a problem, "If Dad is OK, I don't have anything to worry about with you guys."

Kayla says he is OK. She's worried about her racing again, though. Stephanie asks if Patch is OK with this. Patch stares. One eye.

Nick tells Abby it was great. It made him feel like a real man. Abby says he acted like one when he yelled at Chelsea. This could change his life. He doubts it. He's in love with someone who never wants to see him again.

Abe says, "The robbery division identified it as a ring which was stolen six years ago. The man who lost it came down to the station with a receipt and ID'd it." Abe wonders what must have happened and how 'Bones' ended up that way. They will reopen the robbery investigation, "And, Miriam, that's where we need your help."

Roman doesn't get this. Lexie says she just needs time to be sure. Roman says OK and leaves. Lexie picks up. She needs to know Tek is certain. Tek rolls his eyes.

Billie and Bo are back from the AA meeting. Billie feels better. Bo has faith in her. "Maybe you shouldn't," says Billie, "There is one other little thing. I did something I'm not proud of. I hooked up with a guy."

"OK," says Bo, "You're an adult, single, beautiful... what's the problem?"

Billie thanks him for the compliment, "He was someone I shouldn't have encouraged. He's really young. Really young. Legal, but very young and inexperienced."

"Lucky guy," says Bo.

"He was very sweet and naïve," says Billie, "That's the problem. He's a kid. He was being nice and trying to make me feel better and I got carried away." (Carrie-d away? ). "I shouldn't have involved him in my drama, and it was wrong."

Abby says Nick doesn't get what goes on in Chelsea's brain. She expects him to go groveling back to her. Abby advises him not to go back to her. Let her come to him. Nick worries about Chelsea not forgiving him for nailing her mom. Abby says, "She will never know."

Nick says, "I will, and that's bad enough."

Patch says he won't lie to Stephanie. He will miss her. He's just getting to know her again. Stephanie freaks. She can't take the job. Patch tells her to follow her dream. There are planes to Dayton. They will fly there and see her.

Stephanie has to go meet up with her friends. She says goodnight, hugs all around. She's off to see her friends and then it's on to Dayton. Meanwhile, her new racing team waits and wonders why she hasn't shown up in Daytona.

Tek tells Lexie he is sure. Lexie says she doesn't trust him, "I want you to be absolutely sure, Tek."

Tek says, "It's EJ Wells. You can swear to it."

Roman barges in as Lexie hides her phone. Roman needs an answer now. Lexie says she is sure. She saw EJ shoot John.

Mimi says she would love to help. Abe asks her about the ring. Mimi says she thought it was familiar. Abe says, "The man who lost it is Harold Cavanaugh. He's 80 years old and in Poor health."

"Sounds like Mickey," says Mimi, "But it doesn't ring a bell with me." Abe tells her to think about it. She'll let him know if she remembers anything, or can come up with one of her patented lies.

Abe leaves. Mimi tells Max she is creeped out. He invites her to take him up on his offer.

Bo says, "None of us is perfect. Sometimes we make mistakes. I think you are being too hard on yourself." Bo tells her a story. Salem had a blizzard when he was 15. He went out with his snow shovel to make some money shoveling drives. He was nearly finished and was walking home when he saw a neighbor lady shoveling. She had lost her husband in 'Nam, so he offered to shovel her drive for free. When he was done she invited him inside.

Billie gasps, "OMG! She seduced you!"

Bo says, "Let me tell... yeah. She rubbed my shoulders and one thing led to another."

"OMG," says Billie, "She traumatized you for life. Great story Bo."

Abby tells Nick to give himself a break. He lost his virginity. It might increase his chances with Chelsea. Chelsea loves him for what he is inside, an Internet creep with a false identity. He should get rid of Shane Patton. She asks how he will ever face Chelsea's mom again.

"I'm not going to," says Nick, "I'm avoiding her for the next 60 years."

Patch tells Kayla she was a good mom to Stephanie. Kayla says if she would have told Stephanie what is going on with Patch she wouldn't have left, "This thing has me scared to death."

Lexie starts to leave. Roman asks what changed during those five minutes. Lexie says she wasn't sure and now she is, "That's all there is to it. It's like I said... I just needed time to clear my head." Roman lets her go. And wonders.

Max says he will clean up and they will go back to his place. He cleaned it up just in case. He says he will stay on the sofa, "How does that sound?" Mimi scrunches her face.

Tek calls Lexie and asks how it went. She tells him she ID'd EJ. She will live in fear he will be brought back and she will have to testify. Tek offers to be there if she needs somebody to talk to. Lexie says, "As far as I am concerned, "we have spoken for the last time. Never call me again."

Abe interrupts. Lexie jumps out of her skin. He asks how it went. She says she's glad it's over. She asks him to come home with her. He can't. He has business to take care of. He's proud of her for doing the right thing. Lexie leaves.

Roman comes out and finds Abe, "Pard, we gotta talk. I'm worried about your wife."

Bo tells Billie, "The woman got married six months later. It was a beautiful jail cell ceremony since she had gotten twenty years for having sex with an underage kid. But I was walking around like I was king of the world. I wasn't traumatized. So I wouldn't worry about this young man of yours."

Billie considers things, "Maybe I actually did something good for someone for once. Thanks. You always know how to make me feel better. So, she got married six months later, huh? There's hope for all of us."

Patch says Kayla doesn't have to stay strong for him. There is nothing in the world that can tear them apart now. The episodes are under control. Kayla worries, "What if they're not?" Patch says they will take care of it. He suggests they have a brandy, and goes to the bar to get it.

Nick sits at the bar and works on the Santa. Patch comes up to the bar as Santa comes to life. Nick yells, "SUCCESS!" Evil Santa chuckles. Patch wigs out.

Mimi insists she will take the sofa, and she would like to do something nice for him. She will make him dinner. Maybe they can watch a movie. Max leaves to clean up. Mimi sighs and dials her phone, "Mom, it's me. I'm not gonna be home tonight. So don't wait up for me."

Nick can hardly contain his joy about fixing Santa. Patch joins in. He is so happy, he picks the Santa up and smashes it against the bar. Santa guts go flying everywhere. Patch collects himself, "I'm sorry. The sound of that thing was driving me crazy. He throws money on the table, "I hope that will cover it."

Steve brings the drinks back. He toasts the most beautiful woman ever put on the earth, and Kayla, too. Kayla toasts the most wonderful kind loving husband a girl could ask for, and Patch, too. Patch downs the drink like it's the last shot of booze on earth and spews sweat like the new Salem fountain. She asks if he is OK. He claims it's the brandy. Kayla says there is nothing he can't tell her, "You do trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Sweetness," says Patch, "Always." Pan in on Patch.

Meanwhile, the crack Salem forensics team works on 'Bones.' Tests come back from the lab. The head technician looks at the printout and gasps, "OMG! It's DeForest Kelley!"


Previews
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Mimi says, "You care about me. Is that what you are saying?" Max smiles and sticks out his tongue.

Bonnie pats Connor's face and says, "Don't worry. You're my son. Running a con is in your blood."

Roman says to Marlena, "I'm staying here. I'm not leaving tonight."

Belle says, "Give me a sign so I can know that you can hear me." John moves his pinky over and touches her hand. Belle gasps.