You Learning Fast, Grasshopper

Nick and Billie romp. Nick stops things short, "I haven't done this before..."

"You're kidding me," says Billie, "You mean you're a virgin…"

Nick breaks her off, "Can we... can we... drop it?"

"I think it's sweet," says Billie, "Lucky for you, I've done this a few times. In fact, you're my 10,000th customer! Just do what feels good, OK." Nick dives back in.

The brat struggles with waitressing. As she leaves a table, Maggie takes her aside and tells her never to take the food orders until she takes the drink orders, "Money is in the drinks, Chelsea. We've been over this."

As the brat leaves Maggie she runs into Willow who blasts her, "What are you doing working my shift?"

Max and Mimi meet up. They have both been called to the cop shop, but aren't certain why. They talk about John and wonder what is going on in this town. Max assures Mimi he won't let anything happen to her.

Lexie meets Tek and tells him she isn't sure they bought her story. She asks if Tek is sure EJ shot John. Tek stares.

Sami is with Lucas in the hospital. He tells her he doesn't remember much about the ordeal. He also tells her about his hallucinations, "I still don't understand one thing. Who got that beam off my leg like that?"

Sami says she got him out. She doesn't know how she lifted the beam but she did. She figures the man she loved gave her the strength. Then she dragged him out and a trucker gave them a ride to the hospital. Lucas thinks it's amazing.

"It's the power of love," says Sami.

"I remember some awesome sex dreams, though," says Lucas, "I hope they were real."

"Well," says Sami, "I can tell you there was a fireplace and some blankets and having to keep each other warm. It's probably why the roof collapsed, since we didn't have a bed." Lucas says he loves her. She says she was so afraid she was going to lose him.

The brat tells Willow she didn't see her name on the job, "I heard you were in jail. What did you do, escape?"

"Well, unlike you, I didn't kill anybody," says Willow.

They argue. "Do you want to fight me," asks the brat, "Cause I'm game."

Tek says he searched around and found pictures of EJ to compare with the person he saw in the boathouse, "EJ wells is the guy I saw shoot John Black. That's it." He tells Lexie to stay calm. Obedient Lexie freaks. She wants Tek's guarantee she won't be found out. Tek heaves a heavy sigh.

Abe tells Max and Mimi they wanted them to come down so they could question them about the skeleton they found in the basement. He drops a bomb, "The skeleton isn't from the 1800's. He has modern dental work and the fabric on his uniform is partly synthetic. Someone wants us to think he's a soldier from over a century ago so we would miss the heavy trauma on his skull. You two uncovered a crime scene. That skeleton is a murder victim."

"Maybe you can ask him what happened when he comes back from the dead," says Max.

Abe isn't certain when the crime might've happened. It could have been last year or 25 years ago.

"Twenty five years," says Max, "The way we drag things out on this show, that could be three or four weeks ago." Abe asks exactly how they discovered the skeleton. Max gives him the story about busting through the wall, leaving out the part about how he couldn't do it but Mimi could.

They also show Abe the ring they found. Mimi says, "See, it has this unusual symbol on it."

Abe asks them to stick around while he takes the ring to the lab, "With our scientific expertise, we may be able to confirm if it's a ring."

After Abe leaves, Mimi tells Max she thinks she has seen that ring before, "I have this awful feeling I know the person who used to be wrapped around those bones."

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. She says it if weren't for him she wouldn't be in this predicament. He says she is a hero for saving John.

Billie takes a long drag on her cigarette. Nick wakes up and jumps out of his skin, "MRS. REED! OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm so sorry."

"Why," asks Billie, "Was it that bad?"

"No," says Nick, "It was incredible. But I'm your daughter's friend." Billie smiles. Nick stammers, "No, no, no. You're not going to tell Chelsea are you?" Billie keeps smiling.

Sami tells Lucas they're still not sure John will make it. Lucas asks if they have picked EJ up yet. Sami says she thinks he got away. He asks about Marlena. Sami says she isn't doing well. It felt good to be there for her, "We're not just Mother/Daughter now. We're friends, too. And she's happy we're back together."

Kate busts into the room to even that score. "One out of two ain't bad," says Lucas.

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. Lexie wants him to swear on the Bible that he is positive EJ is the one he saw shoot John. Tek swears, sans Bible. Lexie knows she could pick EJ out of a lineup but asks if Tek could. Tek says, "I already told you it was EJ, but if you're not gonna believe me I guess we're going to have a problem. Lexie gasps.

Maggie stands in judgment over the brat and Willow. Chelsea apologizes, "I don't know why I let her upset me so much." Willow chimes in, saying she has been Maggie's best waitress. Maggie sends the brat off to her tables. As she leaves she stops just short of sticking her tongue out at Willow.

Maggie asks Willow about her stint behind bars. Willow says, "It was a misunderstanding, involving a small fire that destroyed Shawn's apartment."

"That's... not the way I heard it," says Maggie.

Mrs. Robinson tells Benjamin she normally doesn't share the details of her love life with Elaine, "You two are just friends, right?" Nick says he just doesn't want people to know. "That makes two of us," says Billie, "I'm old enough to be your mother."

"Oh, no," says Nick, "You're gorgeous. I never even thought about that."

Billie moves closer, "Can I ask you something extremely personal? Was this really your first time?" Nick hyperventilates.

Kate says she came back from Canada to check on John and found out Lucas was in the hospital. She wonders what Sami did to ruin his life this time. "Hey," says Lucas, "She saved my life. Stop it!"

Kate finds it a bit unbelievable that Sami could have dragged the beam off of Lucas, "But if it's true, I guess I owe you a thank you, Sami."

Sami cleans her ears, "Did I just hear your mom thank me?"

"If you don't stop," says Kate, "I'll take it back."

Sami says, "Kate, I don't want us to fight for all the Days Of Our Lives. Can we just set aside everything? Because Lucas and I are... back together."

Code Blue in Lucas Roberts' room.

Max cuts to the chase, "I've been around a little bit, Mimi. I've been in lust with a fair number of women, but what happened down in that basement was different for me. I've never had a threesome involving a skeleton before. I like you a lot."

"I don't know why," says Mimi, "Especially after what I did to Shawn."

Max says Shawn should have given her another chance. She is a strong woman. She got him through the past few days. She helped him keep the garage from foreclosing, "Being trapped with you was like being on a great adventure together. What I want to know is... Is there something going on between us... Mimi?"

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. Tek again swears he has no doubt EJ is the shooter, "If I could be there when Roman shows you the photos, I would love to, so I could ID him myself."

"Maybe you can," says Lexie.

Willow admits to her pyromania. She tells Maggie she really needs the job. Maggie thinks she is playing on her sympathy, "I don't think you're a very stable young lady."

"You told me I was the best worker you ever had."

"Not best, most promising," says Maggie.

Willow turns and looks at the brat, who is fumbling with a bill, "Your third cousin twice removed can't figure out which drink belongs to which person. What restaurant are those people going to eat at next time?" Maggie huffs.

Nick admits it, "This was my first 'experience.'"

"Well, you've been initiated," says Billie, "Unfortunately, it's not a very exclusive club."

Nick says, "I'm sorry if you thought you were getting someone who knew what he was doing."

"Hey, you figured it out. I'm impressed. It was nice."

"Nice," says Nick, "Sex is supposed to be hot and exciting and amazing. It was for me."

"Well," says Billie, "It was for me, too. So, why did you wait this long."

"I gave it a couple shots, but I'm not exactly most girls' dream guy." Billie says she thinks he's cute and asks if he has ever been in love. "Yes," says Nick, "But it was a one sided thing."

"Someday," says Billie, "you will meet the right girl. In the meantime, shut up and kiss me." Nick follows orders.

Chelsea fumbles around. She brought the wrong drinks, so she'll be right back. Maggie watches, "OK, you can have your job back tomorrow, provided you train Chelsea tonight."

"Train that moron in one night?"

"You said you were the best," says Maggie, "Prove it to me."

The brat stammers and gets it all wrong. Willow comes up and rescues her.

Sami and Lucas claim they are back together forever. Kate disposes of her barf bag, "In that case I wish you both the best of luck." As she walks out, she turns and says, "You know, Sami, I really am grateful to you for saving my son."

After she leaves Sami turns to Lucas and says, "Did she really just say that?"

"Uh-huh."

Lexie's scheme is that she will get Roman out of the room somehow, snap a picture of the lineup with her cell phone and email it to Tek. He will make the ID and text his decision back to her. Tek thinks a lot could go wrong. So...

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. Finally, Tek says, "Look, I'll do anything you want me to do. You know that."

Lexie plunges the knife, "What I want is never to see or hear from you again once this is done. Have you got that?" Tek turns and stares.

Max and Mimi hug. Abe walks in. M&M snap to attention. Abe is half-blind, so he sees nothing. He says Lt. Dan is down at the lab, "Our medical examiner thinks he may be dead. And I’m also sorry to have to tell you that your brother was arrested tonight."

"What did Connor do," asks Mimi.

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. Lexie wants him out of her life. Tek snorts, "That's not gonna happen. I'm in your life. Get used to it."

Outside Lucas' room, Kate runs into Roman. He says he's sure she didn't just run back from Canada to nurse Lucas back to health. He thinks she was up in Canada with Victor for some reason that had to do with Phillip. He asks if she knows anything about Max and Mimi getting locked up. It seems she had told Max and Mimi to meet her at the garage and that's when they were kidnapped, and Kate didn't show up.

"Yes I did," says Kate, "I drove by and the garage was dark and I kept going."

"Damn good story Kate," says Roman, "I don't buy it."

"It doesn't matter," says Kate, "Because you can't prove it isn't true."

Willow instructs the brat. She drops a tray full of food.

Maggie hears the nuclear blast and comes running out, "I asked you to train her, Willow." Willow apologizes and says that's what she was trying to do.

The brat vows to get better.

Maggie says, "I'm afraid waitressing isn't your calling. Leave your uniform in the locker room."

"You're firing me?"

"I'm sorry dear." Maggie walks off.

The brat tells Willow to have a nice life waiting tables and leaves.

Abe tells Mimi Patrick was arrested for kidnapping Hope, and is probably EJ Wells' accomplice on a number of crimes. Abe makes his exit. Max tells Mimi if she needs him she should call no matter what time it is. Hug-smooch. Max leaves. Mimi takes out her cell phone and makes a call.

Tek and Lexie:

a) argue
b) argue
c) argue
d) all of the above.

The correct answer is "e" – all of the above, all of the time. Tek tells her the cops will be double checking everything she says, "If you make one mistake you're in the biggest trouble of your life." Lexie gets a call from Abe. He just wanted her to know he'll be home soon. She tells him she is in bed reading her favorite book. I think we can rule out the Bible or any medical journal. She hangs up and tells Tek she has to get home.

He grabs her, "You need me. Don't forget that."

Roman catches up with Kate, "Come on, Katie, as a friend... in fact as someone who was way more than a friend... right before I was murdered... Do you know anything about Max and Mimi's abduction?"

"Way more than a friend," says Kate, "You must be pretty desperate."

"Was pretty desperate," says Roman. Kate knows nothing. She also doesn't have any information about the abduction. Since Roman brought up the past, she asks if he believes Sami's cockamamie story about rescuing Lucas. Roman tells her there are all kinds of stories about someone getting superhuman strength when they are rescuing someone they love.

"Rreeaallllyy," says Kate, "Well, Sami only loves Sami. You and I both know that. I hate to burst your bubble but if you're going to start asking questions, maybe the person you should start with is your own daughter." Kate leaves. Roman ponders.

"Wow," says Nick, "This is good."

"You learning fast, Grasshopper," Make that Billiehopper. Billie asks, "You want to go again?"

"Oh, yeah," Nick hesitates, "I hear a car."

Billie gasps, "It's Chelsea!"

BUG OUT! They gather clothes. Nick says he is missing his shoes. Billie picks one up and fires it at him, "Just go!" Nick heads for the bedroom window. The brat fumbles for her keys. The blood drains from Billie's face. FF.


Previews
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Chelsea picks up a belt and stretches it out, "Who does this belong to?" Billie says, "It's probably Patrick's." Chelsea says, "Oh, no, Mother, it's too small to be Patrick's."

Shawn says to Belle, "I am going to protect you and Claire. Do you understand? If we stick together, nobody can hurt us."

Marlena says, "He just kept repeating 'killer.' I wish I knew what he was trying to say. Bo says, "Killer... that's all he said?"

Bonnie tells Patrick, "If the cops ever ID who those bones belong to, you and I are in major trouble."