Ho’s Я Us

Billie brings Chelsea a TV dinner. The little brat is so grateful, “You expect me to eat this? My real mother made me dinner every night form scratch.”

“Sorry about that,” says Billie, “I’m not much of a cook.”

Miss Congeniality says, “Give it up, Billie. You’re never gonna be my mother and Bo will never be my father.” I don’t know about Billie and Bo, but that would make my day

Bo confides in Hope. He really loves sailing, “but, this is the real reason I bought the Fancy Face III – so we could have a quiet romantic getaway. I’m sure glad Zach cooperated this evening and wanted to stay with your parents. In a strange way, we have Sami to thank for this time together. Of all the crazy things she’s done, getting involved with DiMera is the worst.”

Hope notices, “We forgot to pack the pie.”

“No problem,” says Bo, “You know what I want for dessert.”

Kate goes to the door and finds Nicole. “Come on, get dressed, we’re going out,” says Nicole.

Maggie is calling the regulars to tell them the restaurant will be open. Mickey runs through the litany of Sami’s wedding disasters. “It’s always her fault, this time for sure,” he says.

Maggie says, “What was she thinking, getting involved with Tony like that? She could be tried for treason. What are you going to do when they ask you to defend her?” That’s all Sami needs.

Mimi and Shawn come in. Mimi apologizes for Bonnie’s actions earlier. Shawn tells them Belle had a baby girl. Mimi says they are on a budget so they will just have appetizers. Maggie tells them it’s all on the house, “There is still food left over and Sami paid for it.”

Austin gets a call from his assistant in New York. He walks off to talk.

The valet walks up to Sami and explains, “The restaurant is open tonight as usual. We were supposed to have a wedding reception here but the bride turned out to be some kind of an international terrorist.” He leaves and Austin comes back. Austin asks if she is OK. She isn’t.

Kate says she isn’t going anywhere with Nicole, “We are not friends now and never will be. Get out of my house.”

“I have some information you need to know about,” says Nicole, “I can’t tell you but I can show you.”

Kate says, “All I am going to do right now is call Austin. When I get back I want you out of here.”

As Kate walks away, Nicole says to herself, “If you’d just get your head out of your... this information I have is about Austin.”

Austin tries to encourage Sami, “The valet didn’t know he was talking about you.” Sami says it doesn’t matter if the valet didn’t know who he was talking about. She just feels like garbage.

Shawn tells Mimi he couldn’t have gotten though the day without her. Maggie points out the budding relationship to Mickey. Mickey beams.

Austin asks Sami why she cares what the valet or anyone says. “You are the only one who can make you feel bad about yourself. Only children worry about being called names. When will you grow up and stop being your own worst enemy?”

Hope and Bo are in bed. Life is short; have dessert first. Hope says she could stay in bed with Bo forever. But that won’t get dinner made. And they both worked up an appetite. Bo is thinking about what Sami did, “Shawn could have died because of her.”

“Bo, it’s history,” says Hope, “He came home safe.”

“Sami has done stupid things, but what was she thinking,” wonders Bo.

“She wasn’t,” says Hope, “Only somehow she has managed to avoid jail. I’m sure Roman and Lucas will never trust her again. I feel even worse for Will. Now he’s dealing with another one of his mother’s messes.”

“Speaking of kids,” says Bo, “how do you think Shawn is dealing with Belle and her baby?”

“Not well,” says Hope.

“You still think they belong together don’t you,” asks Bo.

“Yes.”

Bo says, “Pushing him to get with her could only wind up bad for everyone, especially Shawn.”

Hope says, “Belle and Phillip have to stay together now. During Sami’s wedding I saw Phillip and Belle looking at each other. They really do love each other. I don’t know if she loves him like she loves Shawn, but in time, with the baby, they will grow closer and closer.”

“Nothing can do that like a child,” says Bo.

“Yeah,” whispers Hope, “you’re right about that.”

Billie says she isn’t trying to replace Chelsea’s parents, “Bo and I love you. We created you. I’m just trying to cook you a hot meal.”

“Even though you don’t know how,” says Chelsea, “You’re always trying too hard for me. It’s driving me crazy.”

“You don’t have a problem with it when Kate is buying you new dresses,” says Billie.

“I’ve never had a grandmother before,” says Chelsea, “I don’t want new parents. I want my old ones back. It’s not fair they were taken away from me. And not fair you and Bo come around and tell me they weren’t my parents.”

“As hard a that is for you to accept they weren’t.”

Chelsea asks, “If they were still alive would you be trying to take me away form them?”

“No,” says Billie, “I’d hope we could share you.”

“Like a hot fudge Sunday?” No, like a disease.

“This is awkward foe me too,” says Billie, “I think you’re worth it.”

“Maybe you’re not,” says Chelsea.

“OK,” says Billie, “How about we aim for being friends.”

“I already have friends.” It’s hard to see how.

Austin didn’t pick up. Kate says she isn’t going anywhere. She thinks Nicole wants money. Nicole says this is about Sami, not money.

Austin says Sami doesn’t have to respond to everything by lashing out. She can empower herself. He’s been watching Dr. Phil again. He tells her she will find another love, “Next time it will be for keeps.”

Shawn shovels it in. On her budget, Mimi says she doesn’t usually eat like this, either. Shawn is distracted about Belle. He has known it’s over, but seeing her with her child makes it real.

“We really are adults now aren’t we,” says Mimi.

“Yeah,” says Shawn. Physically anyway.

Mickey tells Maggie he just asked Pierre to make a special mousse cake for Shawn and Mimi. He’s making one for them, too, because chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Maggie says she doesn’t need it. They kiss. Sami walks up.

Maggie asks, “How are you doing?”

Sami thinks, then tells her, “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say about a minus 60.”

They ask Sami if she’s eating alone. Austin barges in and says, “She’s with me.”

Hope is cooking. The sauce is Rosa DiMarco’s recipe. She won’t let Bo taste it. He sneaks one, anyway. Hope is heading for the bakery.

“Are you going dressed like that,” asks Bo. We have Hope wearing only Bo’s shirt, which, of course, leaves Bo shirtless. Something for everyone.

Hope says, “I might get a better deal on the pastry.”

Bo says he is going to call Billie. Hope thinks Billie and Chelsea can’t have a healthy relationship.

“Why,” asks Bo.

“Simple,” says Hope, “Billie and Chelsea are exactly alike.”

Billie tastes the TV dinner. She spits it out, “Oh, Chelsea is right. This is horrible.”

Chelsea walks in dressed in one of her new streetwalker designs. Billie doesn’t like it, “It’s too ‘Sex In The City’ for Salem.”

Chelsea says, “‘Sex In The City’ is sooooo yesterday.” Speaking of streetwalkers, Chelsea tells Billie, “Sami told me I was following in the family tradition because you and Grandma Kate were both whores. Why would she make it sound like you guys were just a couple of prostitutes?” Dead silence. “Why, what’s wrong? Don’t tell me Sami was telling the truth.”

Nicole tries to convince Kate to go with her. She guarantees Kate won’t miss Austin. Kate is skeptical but goes to change. Nicole has a drink, “Poor put upon Kate is going to go berserk when she sees Sami trying to put her life together. Kate, you’re right, we are not friends.”

Sami asks for a secluded table. Mickey smiles as he leaves. He intercepts the waiter and takes the mousse to Mimi and Shawn, “Some of our clientele is pretty stuffy here. So it is nice to see you two kids here on a date. You look terrific together.” Eyes roll.

Sami tells the waiter, “I’ll have a glass... no a bottle of Shiraz.” She pines away, “Lucas and I were gonna be dancing right now. We would be ready to cut the cake and head off on our honeymoon. Instead Will and Lucas will never speak to me again. My father... my mom... so I thought I’d drink a little. If I died right here, nobody would care.”

“That’s not true,” says Austin, “I would care.”

Bo says, “Things can get volatile with Billie and Chelsea but that’s common with a mother and daughter. Maybe they need a referee.” Ho and Dope are going to need a referee in a minute.

Hope lectures Bo, “If you put yourself in the middle and Chelsea thinks you’re siding with Billie instead of her, you could lose your daughter forever. Is that a chance you’re willing to take?” Hope runs off to the bakery while Bo thinks it over.

Chelsea asks, “So you and Grandma Kate both were really hookers?”

“In a manner of speaking,” says Billie, “I told you I was on the wild side when I was younger.”

Chelsea says, “Being a prostitute is more than being a little wild. And you judge me?”

“You think you are more sophisticated than you really are,” says Billie, “It wasn’t until I met Bo that I turned my life around. I will always love him for that.”

“Were you and Grandma Kate in business together?” Yeah, they owned the Ho’s Я Us franchise in Salem.

“No,” says Billie, “she wanted to give Lucas the life she couldn’t give me. So Stephano turned her into a high priced hooker.”

“So I come from a family of hookers?”

“You are going to break the cycle,” says Billie.

“You can’t promise that. I must be cursed,” Chelsea runs outside and gets a call form Bo.

“What’s wrong,” he asks.

“Everything. I need you Daddy.”

Chelsea instantly runs onto the Fancy Face III and Billie chases her. Billie rails about how recklessly Chelsea was driving on the way over here. She had the pedal to the metal in the transporter. Bo tells her to be responsible behind the wheel.

“I should have known you would just take her side,” says Chelsea.

Shawn and Mimi tell Mickey they aren’t dating. Maggie walks up. They thank her for the mousse. Maggie asks a favor. She never canceled the DJ. He has been playing all day. He’s upset no one is dancing. She asks if they would dance. They’re game.

As Shawn and Mimi dance, Maggie says, “It looks like my line about the DJ worked. Look at them. They’re perfect together.”

“They’re not dating,” says Mickey.

“Maybe not now,” says Maggie, “But they will be.”

Sami can’t believe Austin cares about her.

“What happened between us is in the past,” says Austin, “I’m not like everyone else.”

“You never were, were you?”

“I know what it’s like to have your world fall apart,” says Austin, “What makes it worse is not having someone to lean on. Why don’t you go freshen up and we’ll have dinner.” Sami leaves.

Kate and Nicole walk in. Nicole orders a double martini – very dirty. She admires the waiter as he brings the drinks.

Kate heads for the ladies room. Nicole wonders why Austin and Sami aren’t there. She sees Austin and goes over to him. He tells her he is with Sami. “You’ve always been a gentleman,” says Nicole, “You’re still giving Sami a shoulder to cry on even though she almost ruined your life in Vegas”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for her.”

Nicole asks, “What about me, Austin? Do you still have feelings for me, too?” Disgust?

Sami bawls in the bathroom, “It’s over, Lucas. It’s really over.” Kate comes in. Sami gasps. Oh, the tension!

“Well, well, well,” says Kate.

“Get out.”

“Sure was a long time coming Sami,” says Kate, “I didn’t think I could stop you but I finally did it. I finally won and, I have to tell you, it was wroth waiting. Not just Lucas and Will, but the entire town of Salem is through with you. Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

Sami says, “I think I’m gonna kill you.” She picks up a candle and lunges at Kate.

Kate be nimble,
Kate be quick,
Here comes Sami
With a Candlestick.


Previews
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Belle tells Mimi and Shawn, “It would mean a lot to Phillip and me if you both would do us the honor of being our daughter’s godparents.”

Bo tells Hope and Billie, “She said she had a hard time relating to you guys.”

Nicole says, “You must have a bunch of women waiting for you in New York.” Austin says, “The trouble is I left my heart here in Salem.”


Prevuze is pleased to exclusively announce this major DOOL spoiler. An upcoming episode will reveal Chelsea is actually a male. This explains why it seems nearly impossible for her to get laid, as any teenage boy will attest.