You Can Look, But You Can't Touch

Shawn and Belle guide their wounded boat into Hong Kong Harbor. They barely make it as the engine gives its last gasp and conks out. "What are we going to do now," whines Belle.

"Ask Claire," says Shawn, "She's the only one on this boat with half a brain."

Just as the IQ-challenged pair begins to think their round-the-world trip is over... miracle of miracles, who should appear on the dock but their old buddy Lucas Horton. "What are you doing here," asks Shawn.

"I heard Sami shot EJ," says Lucas, "I figured now that we have something in common, she'd come back to me and I was watching for her here on the dock."

Shawn asks, "You mean you thought she'd just show up here unannounced and fall into your arms?"

"Something like that, " says Lucas.

Shawn chuckles, "I'm glad to see you're as sharp as you always were."

Lucas changes the subject, "Enough about me. You look like you're in trouble What's wrong?"

"The engine on our boat gave out," says Shawn.

"Are you sure there's gas in the tank," asks Lucas.

"There ought to be," says Shawn, "I filled it to the brim when we left Salem."

"You're very conscientious," says Lucas, "So if you've got gas, I guess you're sunk."

"No," says Shawn, "We're still floating. It's the engine that won't run. Looks like this is the end of our around-the-world adventure."

"Not necessarily," says Lucas, "I own a sampan. I'll trade you for it, and then I can use your boat after I have it repaired."

"I don' wan' no stinkin' sampan," says Shawn, "They don't call those things 'junks' for nothing, you know."

"This one is fine," says Lucas, "and the tsunami last week hardly damaged it at all."

Shawn agrees to take a look at Lucas' boat. The boys go off and leave Belle and Claire on the broken down vessel. It's not certain who is the babysitter, though. Shawn and Lucas approach the sampan. They tour the boat and as Shawn enters the galley he says, "I have to tell you, Lucas, I like what I see."

"Good," says Lucas, "What you see is Li Ju. She's the cook and she comes with the boat."

That seals the deal for Shawn. Lucas leaves and Shawn returns to his crippled craft to pick up Belle and their belongings. Claire, SORASED to 18, elects to stay in Hong Kong, "I heard the ratio of guys to gals here is almost two to one. I like those odds."

"Fine," says Shawn, "But with just two guys and one gal in the city, you may get lonely."

Belle and Shawn head back to their new sampan. As they approach Belle sees a gang of cutthroats raiding their new boat. She gasps, "OMG! SHAWN! PIRATES!"

"Can't be," says Shawn, "We're not even in the Caribbean."

"No," insists Belle, "LOOK! THERE! By the helm!"

"The what," asks Shawn.

"The steering wheel!"

"Why didn't you say so in the first place," asks Shawn. Suddenly he sees the ne'er-do-wells ransacking the boat. He runs down the dock, stops in front of the sampan, looks up at them and screams, "HEY!"

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You know what's coming, don't you?
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"DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!"

And so it begins...

Stephanie to Melanie, as Melanie cuddles with Nathan in the hospital's isolation unit: "Don't touch my hunk!"

Hope to her cellmate, "Don't touch my bunk!"

Sami Brady, wanting people to leave her alone and let her brood, "Don't touch my funk!"

Stefano, trying to protect Chad after finding out Chad is his son, "Don't touch my punk!"

Sami, trying to keep the gals away from Rafe, "Don't touch my lunk!"

Sister Anne, after leaving the church and running away with Father Matt, "Don't touch my monk!"

Chelsea, defending her relationship with Max, even though they're sort of related, "Don't touch my Unc!"

Vivian, after Victor kicks her to the curb and starts to carry her suitcase out of the house, "Don't touch my trunk!"

Max Brady, ready to change the oil in his new racecar, "Don't touch my gunk!"

Kate, attempting to stop someone from eating one of her poison brownies, "Don't touch my chunk!"

Maggie after hooking up with Victor, trying to keep Vivian away, "Don't touch my skunk!"

Nicole trying to keep EJ away from Brady, "Don't touch my drunk!"

No way. I'm not touching "spunk" with a ten foot pole.

Chris to everyone, "Peeeoooopppllleeee... what's all the fuss about?"

So, have a good weekend, kids, and remember what they tell you in the Salem China Shoppe, "You can look, but you can't touch."

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