Color Me Cuckoo

Well gee whillikers, since the writers think you don't have the sense to remember what was going on when we left the show yesterday, the show starts up where we left off in the Hernandez Hovel, only we rewind to Sami being distracted and EJ rushing her with either an influenza-saturated snot rag, or one full of chloroform. He clamps it over the nose and mouth of the Hernandez Hovel Hostess and it knocks her out. EJ carries her to the couch and cops a few feels. Hey, come on, what's the harm... she's unconscious. Suddenly...

"SSSCCCRRREEEEAAAAMMM!"

Allie stands in back of him and screams in horror. "What's the matter," asks EJ.

"You didn't bring me any presents," cries Allie.

"Why would I bring you a present," asks EJ, "You're not my kid."

"On this show, you never can tell," says Allie, "You'd do well to plan for future plot twists."

Back in Sarcoville, Maggie slaps at non-existent spiders. She huffs and puffs and enjoins herself to get a grip. She doesn't do a great job of it.

Stephanie and Nathan are at the pub. Caroline is there as Nathan gets a call, "WHAT?" he leaves. Stephanie says he looks upset. Caroline tells her he'll be more upset if the learns the truth.

Brady finds Melanie at the hospital. He says he's there to see Chloe and asks Melanie about delivering the baby. "Chloe had it at the cabin instead," says Melanie, "The delivery service was too expensive." She says Chloe is sleeping, but assures him things went OK. She thinks he looks rumpled and nervous.

Nicole plays with Sydney at the Kiriakis mansion as Rafe sabotages her computer. He finishes the job and walks back in. He suggests she not let Allie play with the camera or she might erase the precious copy of Sami's confession. Nicole reminds him she has backup copies.

EJ tells Allie her mommy is just sleeping.

Nicole tells Sydney how much fun they will have on Christmas. She suggests to Rafe that she have Sydney on Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. Rafe ain' too excited about that. Nicole makes threats. "This plan of yours could backfire and bite you in the ass," says Rafe.

EJ covers Sami so she can nap. Johnny rushes out and jumps onto him.

Vivian contacts Maggie. She tells her Gus has contacted Victor and is spreading the word on something that will make people think Maggie is gone. Maggie says no one would believe she has left town without saying goodbye.

Caroline reminds Stephanie she promised she would keep quiet about the big secret. Stephanie is undecided, but thinks she has to do the right thing, if she can ever learn to tell right from wrong.

Nathan comes back and announces Victor got an email from Maggie that says she's on a cruise and doesn't know when she'll be back.

Victor is at the hospital asking Melanie about Maggie leaving. Melanie says Maggie hasn't said anything about it, "If Maggie left without telling anybody, then something is really wrong."

Nicole tells Rafe this isn't a scheme and was meant to happen. Rafe thinks she's restless and needs a diaper change. Nicole assures him she is wearing clean diapers. She leaves to check Sydney and Rafe grabs the video recorder.

EJ sends Allie off and tells Johnny his mommy isn't feeling well. He also says they will be spending lotsa time together.

Melanie calls and leaves a message for Maggie to contact her. Brady says Maggie told him to stay away from Victor and thinks she might have taken her own advice.

Nicole comes back and sees Rafe playing with the recorder. She says she knows he knew Sydney didn't need a diaper change, "You are never going to find what you are looking for."

EJ suggests he and Johnny spend time together tonight. He tells Johnny to get his stuff so they can go, and Sydney, too. Johnny announces Sydney isn't there because Rafe took her somewhere. EJ tells him to go get his things. Johnny runs off. EJ calls Marco and wonders why he hasn't been watching Rafe, "If you've blown this..." He slams down the phone, "Now what am I gonna do?" Follow the bread crumbs Rafe dropped so he could find his way back home?

Nathan says he thinks Maggie would never leave town without telling people, "We can't set a wedding date until we find out when she'll be back, OK?" Stephanie stammers.

Vivian says she chose the paint from a special collection called, "Color Me Cuckoo. I think it's working. Soon you won't even be able to remember your name."

"That doesn't bother me so much," says Maggie, "Just as long as I can remember the names of the people I'm gossiping about."

Rafe decides to hang on to the video recorder. Nicole assures him she didn't leave the proof lying around for him, "Face the facts. I hold all the cards, so get the hell out."

Rafe agrees, "But if I go... Sydney goes." Brady walks in and wants to know why Nicole is holding the baby. "Sami isn't even here," says Nicole. Rafe takes Sydney while Brady stares at Nicole.

EJ tells Johnny they will have to do this another time, "It's getting late and you have school tomorrow." He sends him back to his room to play, but assures him he'll come back. Johnny leaves. EJ tells Sami he'll be back. Sami, however has BTADD... Big Time Attention Deficit Disorder.

Melanie is with a patient, who says he was in Guatemala yesterday and doesn't feel well today. Melanie diagnoses his disease as Guatemala Fever. Nathan comes in. "Where the hell have you been," asks Melanie.

"Reading up on Guatemala Fever," says Nathan, "It's a good thing no one around here has it because it's totally fatal."

Caroline and Stephanie — same conversation.

Nicole tells Brady Rafe is trying to broker a truce between Sami and her. Rafe leaves with Sydney. Brady and Nicole stare at each other. Outside, Rafe tells Sydney if Nicole plugs the camera into her laptop it will destroy everything and Sydney will never have to see that crazy lady again.

Nicole steps up to her computer and curses. Brady questions her about it.

EJ is on the phone with Marco who reports that Rafe took Sydney to see Nicole. EJ figures Rafe wouldn't do that unless he had no choice.

Nathan questions the patient about his adventures in Guatemala, "Did anything bite you?"

"She was kind of rough but didn't bite," says the guy.

Nathan and Melanie snap at each other and Dr. Nathan takes her aside and lectures her for using "that tone of voice."

Nicole tells Brady she has a virus on her computer. Brady warns her not to try to make copies of programs or the original could self destruct. He asks what happened to her head and Nicole says she ran into a cabinet, "I also ran into Sydney the other night and realized I still love her. So I sucked it up and asked Sami if I could see her now and then. I didn't think she’d do it, but then Rafe showed up with Sydney. But I am starting to think Rafe and Sami are just playing me."

Rafe arrives back at the Hernandez Hovel. Johnny tells him mommy is asleep. Rafe puts Sydney's carrier down as Johnny tells him his daddy said his mommy didn't feel good. Rafe panics and tries to wake Sami.

OK the news guys just broke in to tell us about the Royal Engagement. Note to press: I DON"T CARE! By the way, did that Diana and Charles couple ever tie the knot?

Melanie comforts the patient and Nathan compliments her nursing skills, "Delivering that baby must have scared the hell out of you."

"Not like it scared the hell out of Chloe and the baby."

Stephanie says if Nathan finds out and figures she didn't tell him the truth, Nathan will hate her forever, "I know what I have to do."

Sami stirs. Rafe goes to her and she wakes up, "WHERE ARE THE KIDS?" She says she remembers being with Will, but can't remember anything after that. She says she feels queasy. "That's the chloroform," says Rafe, "EJ did it."

Mr. Chloroform himself is in the rumpus room. The doorbell rings and EJ answers to find Nicole. She says she's there because of what she can do for him.

Melanie begs Nathan to let her know if he finds out anything about Maggie. Nathan says he will and their bickering starts up again. He asks if she thinks Stephanie would say something about Chloe to get back at Melanie. He also offers to have her scratched off the guest list of his wedding with Stephanie. Melanie tells him she doesn't want to work with him any more.

Vivian tells Maggie it's time for dinner and offers to liven up her chicken broth with bacon bits. Vivian signs off. Maggie wonders what's happening to her, "Someone will find me... someone... please... soon."

Sami can't believe EJ did this to her. Rafe tells her what happened while she was out... that EJ was going to take the kids, but didn't because Sydney wasn't there. Rafe has found out the DiMera jet is all gassed and ready to go, "It's not gonna happen again. We got lucky." Rafe calls Roman, who hasn't gotten lucky in years.

EJ and Nicole hit the rumpus room. "Why are you here," asks EJ.

Nicole asks if he remembers when it was just her and EJ and Sydney, "Those were the good old days. I didn't lie about Sydney being your child, or about me loving her. That's why I'm here. What if I told you I could get your children back?"

"I'd give you anything you want."

"Good," says Nicole, "Because I could hand you Sami Brady on a silver platter."

"I'd rather have her on silk sheets," says EJ.


Previews
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There were no previews. Maybe after 45 years, they're just tossing DOOL into the black hole of soapdom.

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