This Cockamamie Show

Chloe sits in a room at the hospital. The door opens and Dr. Daniel comes in to see her. All of her, if possible.

Lucas is with Kate at her place. They discuss Chloe's condition and then Lucas brings up the impending taping and gets down to business. Kate isn't so interested and Lucas rants at her and wants her to get with the program. "If you were just the producer and I weren't your mother," says Kate, "you wouldn't talk to me this way."

"If you weren't my mother I wouldn't qualify for the job," says Lucas, "and if I were just the producer I wouldn't' be doing this cockamamie show."

Lucas walks off. Kate mutters, "It won't be much longer." She takes out her hypo and spews poison into a plate of food.

Nicole and EJ stand in the rumpus room and unwind everything they wrapped up yesterday just so we can go through it all over again.

Sami stares out her window as Rafe walks in. Rafe asks, "What are you thinking about."

Sami turns and stares at him, "Thinking... bold new concept. I was wondering if you would move in with me."

Immediately there are several cardiac arrests out in the Lumi and Ejami sections of the audience. A Payla fan, who now has nothing better to do, runs to their aid, checks things out and screams, "IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?"

Dr. Conrad Murray, taking a break from all the activity at the Neverland estate, has slipped into the audience to get away from it all. He stands up, "I'm a doctor. What can I do to help?"

The Payla fan shouts, "IS THERE ANOTHER DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? THIS GUY CAN'T REVIVE ANYONE."

Melanie and Phillip are at the pub. Phillip tells her about the split. Melanie insists he and Stephanie are meant to be together. Phillip broods. Melanie tells him this is a test and he shouldn't make Stephanie think he's given up.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital Stephanie and Nathan are on a collision course. They each walk along in their respective clouds of distraction and slam into each other. Papers fly. Nathan apologizes. Stephanie quips, "I Hope You're insured."

Nathan asks, "Any chance you'll settle for a cup of coffee?" A phone rings and interrupts the serendipitous meeting. Nathan picks it up, "Oh, it's your phone... someone named Phillip."

Rafe swallows his tongue. He says he's not sure they should be making this decision right now. Sami insists he isn't a crutch or a replacement, "I love you and I want us to be together." Rafe worries that she's going through too much right now to pile on to her woes. Sami thinks being with someone she loves would help. Rafe mentally goes to that dark black hole guys go to when they're backed into a corner. Sami asks, "Rafe?"

Stephanie growls and shuts her phone off. "Ooooo," says Nathan, "I'm glad I'm not Phillip."

Phillip elects not to leave a message. Melanie offers to "help out" at Titan while Stephanie is gone.

Brady walks up and just happens to overhear, "Stephanie left Titan? What did you do now, Phillip?"

"Gee," says Nathan, "Your mood changed when you got that call from Phillip."

"What tipped you off," asks Stephanie.

"I think it was when you smashed the phone against the wall, took out your AK-47 and filled it with enough lead to poison the entire town of Salem," says Nathan.

She tells him her problems with Phillip are none of his business. Stephanie turns and stomps off. "For the record," says Nathan, "My name is Nathan Horton."

Stephanie stops in her tracks, "You're kidding."

EJ sits and pouts in the rumpus room. Nicole comes up to him and tries to convince him she's on his side. She assures him when he does something for his kids it doesn't mean Sami has won. It means he hasn't lost. EJ agrees but continues to stew over Sami's lie. He says he will settle, "But someday, someone's gonna pay."

Nicole decides she should get Sydney to the park while the sun is still out. "What about Johnny," asks EJ.

"I got him out of my hair," says Nicole, "We were playing hide and seek and he locked himself inside that old refrigerator in the basement. The little scamp still thinks I don't know where he is."

Out in the foyer, Nicole pulls out her phone and makes a call.

Rafe says moving on from Emily was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He'll change his tune after he lives with Sami for a while. Rafe wants what's best for Sami. "You are what's best for me," says Sami, "Please... move in. Spread your trash all over the place and then we'll fight about it."

"Then we'll make up," says Rafe.

"That's the best part," says Sami.

Loserclueless interrupts Dr. Daniel and Chloe. He thanks Daniel for doing such a great job and invites him to dinner. Daniel declines and leaves. Lucas tells Chloe he thinks Daniel was a little abrupt.

Chris sashays into the room with Kate to pick up things for the video shoot. He notices Kate seems to be in a bad mood, "I'm gonna leave before you suck all the air out of the room." On the way out Chris bumps into a stranger do-si-do's around him and exits.

"You're early," says Kate, "Do you have it? Did it work?"

"Guaranteed," says the goon. Kate pays him and he hands her a box and leaves. Kate opens the box and finds a key.

Melanie tells Brady to back off. Phillip stomps out. Melanie fills Brady in on Stephanie breaking off the engagement, "You're on a roll today. First you get conned by a couple of girls and wind up standing around in nothing but your boxers and now you've alienated Phillip." She pulls out her phone.

Brady asks, "What are you doing?"

Melanie says, "Damage control."

Brady says, "No, no... I will handle my own life."

Melanie asks, "Without drugs? This is not about you. I'm working for Phillip right now."

Nicole sits in the park with Sydney and tells her things will be different now, "We will all be a real family again."

Sydney looks up at her, "Again?"

Sami walks up and asks what Nicole wants to see her about.

Kate drags out the vile vial and flashes back to getting the fingerprint off of Daniel's glass. She gathers her things, including the key, and leaves.

Daniel comes up to the nurses' station and breaks up the little party Stephanie and Nathan are having. He barks at Nathan, "Do you have the Abramowicz file?" Nathan fumbles around. Ever-efficient Stephanie immediately finds it amongst the trash sitting on the counter. Dr. Daniel takes it, gives Nathan a parting shot and scoots off.

Nathan asks, "Your mother is Kayla?"

"She was," says Stephanie, "Until the show sent her to Bora Bora."

"My great-great-great-great-great grandfather is Tom Horton," says Nathan.

Daniel comes back up and snarls, "Dr. Horton whenever you feel like working let me know."

Nathan turns to Stephanie, "See you soon."

"I'll wear shin guards," says Stephanie.

"Phillip really put you in a bad mood, didn't he," asks Nathan.

Melanie thinks it's not fair that Brady and Phillip are so good looking and miserable, "I wish there were something I could do to ease your pain."

"There is something you can do," says Brady, "You can leave." She asks if Brady could talk to Phillip about her filling in for Stephanie. The job at Titan, that is.

Nicole says, "Sami... things are different now."

Sami goes into her standard panic mode, "No! You have to let me see my son!"

EJ shows up at Sami's place. He and Rafe trade a few insults. EJ notices the boxes in the background and asks if Rafe is moving in. Rafe does his impression of a clueless Neanderthal.

Kate arrives at Daniel's place. She looks for a good place to hide the vile vial.

Chloe and Lucas are coming from their consultation with another doctor. He's far less capable than Daniel, but his hands were severed in an accident, so there is no groping. Lucas reminds him they have to tape the show. Daniel says he left his clothes for the taping at home. Lucas offers to go get them for him. Daniel gives him his key. Lucas and Chloe head for Daniel's apartment.

Melanie tells Brady she is over Phillip. Brady says, "If Stephanie really left him, then Phillip is a powder keg ready to blow."

"I"ll back off, then," says Melanie. She gets up and leaves. On the way out, she mumbles, "As if..."

Phillip calls Stephanie as she wanders outside. Stephanie tells him, "We need a clean break, OK? Don't call me again. It's my turn to call you."

Nicole tells Sami she's not backing out of their arrangement. She tells her EJ isn't going ahead with the custody hearing. Sami goes form depressive to manic in a heartbeat. Nicole tells her EJ is still really angry with her, and they need to keep their distance.

EJ and Rafe continue to bicker. EJ wonders where Sami is.

"I'll have her lawyer call," says Rafe, "so get the hell out." EJ blows his stack. Rafe blows his stack right back at him. EJ makes a move toward Rafe and then hesitates. Rafe says, "You need to call someone up to do your dirty work for you. You afraid to break a nail or something?"

EJ says, "No, I'm not. But just don't hit me in my pretty little face."

Phillip and Stephanie decide they love each other but... Stephanie hangs up.

Kate plants the vile vial inside Daniel's apartment. Suddenly, she hears voices outside and frets.

EJ backs off. Rafe taunts, "I knew you wouldn't do it. I was kind of looking forward to it." EJ says for him to tell Sami he was there and leaves. Rafe says, "I can't wait until tomorrow. It's Saturday and there is no DOOL broadcast."

Nicole tells Sami to act surprised when EJ calls. She also asks her to keep Rafe reigned in. Sydney fusses and Nicole picks her up. Sami makes over her and offers to hold Sydney while Nicole looks for her pacifier. Nicole hands her over. Sami bonds.

Melanie finds Stephanie at the hospital. Stephanie doesn't want to talk about Phillip. Melanie beams, 'That is why you're gonna love my idea."

Brady finds Daniel after a run. He senses something is wrong and pries. Daniel says he had a scare with a patient and it freaked him out, "The patient was Chloe."

Kate scoots into the closet as Lucas and Chloe come into Daniel's place. Chloe gasps and stops. She flashes back to the mad moments of passion she has had with Daniel here. Lucas goes for the clothes. Chloe has more flashbacks. She pops back and forth between reality and flashbacks until she discovers a scarf on the floor. She stares at it and her eyes go wide.

Rafe unpacks. He finds the box with Emily's wedding ring inside and zones out.

EJ strolls up and finds Nicole and Sami. He yanks Sydney away form Sami and tells her she is never to hold Sydney again, "The Same is true for my son."

"He's too little to hold her," says Sami.

Melanie invites Stephanie for a girls night out. Stephanie doesn't think she will be good company. Melanie wants to go out and talk about the new guy she likes. Stephanie agrees to go and walks off. Melanie makes a call.

Daniel rambles on to Brady and tells him how much he loves Chloe, "It's over between us though, and will be for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Chloe picks up the scarf as weirdo music plays in the background, "Someone was here?" If Sherlock Holmes ever retires we've found his replacement. Kate sweats in the closet.

EJ gets nasty with Sami, "I was rethinking the custody case until I found out Rafe Hernandez moved in with you. You are living with a man you know nothing about."

"I know everything about Rafe that matters," says Sami, "Size really is important."

Back at Sami's place... well, I guess now it's Sami and Rafe's place... Rafe finds an old newspaper clipping, opens it and stares.

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