Charlie Brown Would Be Proud

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Who am I kidding? It was Salem. It was the worst of times. And here's the worst of what happens next...

Phillip and Chloe romp. Romp Phloe Romp. See Phloe Romp. Romp Phloe Romp. Oops... Phillip backs off, "This is a mistake." Who does he think he is, Sami?"

Shawn and Belle survey the spread at Chez Rouge. Shawn thinks it should be a great anniversary party. "Yeah," says Belle, "And they haven't kicked me out of the family yet."

Shawn reassures her, "That's not gonna happen. How could my mom be on your case all the time if you weren't around?" Shawn drags her over to the mistletoe, "Merry Christmas Mrs. Brady."

"Merry Christmas Mr. Brady."

Poor Shawn is so glad there will be no more secrets. Suddenly the town drunk stumbles into the restaurant yelling something about a merry Christmas... Wait! It's Patch making his grand entrance along with Kayla. And he hasn't even had a beer yet. Patch says there are lots more presents in the car. "I'll help you bring them in," says Shawn, "So Kayla and Belle can share an uncomfortable moment."

Kayla and Belle don't waste any time. Belle digs deep and finds her Ice Woman personality, "The next time you compare notes with Hope get your facts straight!"

Sami and Lucas cuddle on the couch. Sami says it feels right for her to be back with Lucas. She asks about getting a Christmas tree and goes to make a list of what they need for Christmas. Lucas says they can't make it happen this year. Sami says, "Come on Lucas... the twins first Christmas."

Lucas says, "I won't be home for Christmas."

"What?"

EJ remembers Sami's rage. He makes a call, "It's Elvis... No, nothing's wrong. I really need to talk to you though."

Chloe can't believe Phillip has stopped things, "A girl could get insulted. I guess I'm not your type."

Phillip growls, "I don't have a type."

"How about a married dumb blonde," asks Chloe. She makes another play for him, "I'm just looking for a little fun, not a lifetime commitment." That did it. Now that she's taken the "C-Word" out of the picture Phillip gets more enthusiastic about things. They dive onto the couch. Chloe loses control and rips his shirt open. Phillip looks at the shredded material and says, "WHOA! That was my favorite shirt."

"I'll buy you a new one," says Chloe. Phillip backs off again. He heads for the next room. Chloe watches and drools, "The view is even better from behind." Phillip comes out with a new shirt. She asks if he is in his office so much he has a wardrobe full of shirts there, too, "Or do you have a stable of women coming in ripping them apart?"

"No women," says Phillip.

"Unless it's Belle," says Chloe.

Kayla tells Belle she made no judgment, "Hope is doing enough judging for all of us." Belle is skeptical. Kayla knows Belle loves her husband. And her boytoy. Kayla tells her all Bo and Hope care about is that their son is happy. She thinks things will work out.

Outside, Bo tells Hope they will go through this miserable evening and pretend things are OK with Shawn and Belle. They go inside and find the spread. Hope asks if he knew about all this. Bo never knows. "Surprise," says Kayla.

Lucas says he's going to be with Will on Christmas. Sami says Will should be with them instead. They can buy him a ticket home. That's what she wants for Christmas.

The clan gathers. Everyone wishes Bo and Hope a happy anniversary and also a happy birthday to Hope. As the accolades pour in, Belle steps up and gives it a try. She smiles and hugs Hope. Hope is stiff. Belle gives her flowers and then goes off for appetizers.

Chloe asks where Phillip's sense of fun is. "It went to war," he growls.

Chloe says she can help him find it again, "Let's play 'who is Belle with tonight.' It's Shawn. It will always be Shawn." Phillip walks over and opens the door. Chloe asks, "Are you throwing me out?"

"The correct term is 'showing you the door.'"

"This seems like my kind of challenge," says Chloe.

Lucas says Will asked him to come to Switzerland alone.

"Do you think he still hates me," asks Sami.

"Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?"

Sami tells him it won't be that way now. Lucas says he will talk to Will, and they will have other Christmases. Sami wonders how Lucas will go abroad without a passport since Bo took his, "This isn't about Will, is it? This is about the gun and the night EJ was shot."

Shawn and Belle smooch. Hope plays with her catnip and tells Kayla she hasn't told Shawn, "This is too juicy to just blurt it out. I have to torture her for a while." Belle comes up as Kayla leaves. Another uncomfortable moment. Hope tells Belle she will just be thrilled to have her join them at Alice's for Christmas. And we know why.

Chloe says she knows Phillip doesn't want her to leave. She kisses a finger and touches it to his forehead, "Maybe next time."

After she goes, Phillip heads straight for his computer. He brings up the oh-so-comprehensive "ONLINE CORPORATE DATABASE." Beneath the title it says, "Chloe Lane Black." Phillip picks up the phone, "I need you in my office right away. I'll fill you in when you get here."

Lucas tells Sami he's working on getting a fake passport. She reminds him his jail cell won't be fake. He insists he won't get caught. He tells Sami all this happened because she decided to hook up with EJ.

"Oh, yeah," says Sami, "BLAME ME."

EJ wheels himself into the sanctuary at St. Luke's. Tony comes in after him. "The church is still standing," says Tony, "That's a good sign." EJ tells him Sami walked out on him. Tony is sorry, "Not surprised, though. You offered her everything but your heart." EJ can't believe he heard that. He insists he offered Sami his heart on a silver platter. Tony thinks not, "There is no greater gift you can give to a woman than your heart. Well, in Anna's case, you can feed her, but we're not talking about her right now."

EJ says, "Samantha isn't interested in my heart unless it stops. I don't know what I will do."

"Ruining lives is not difficult," says Tony, "Making a life is real work."

EJ asks why Tony isn't bitter, "After all, he took many years of your life away from you."

"Two words," says Tony, "Lili and Lala." Tony says he had a choice and chose life. He wonders what EJ will choose. EJ says he can't be his own man and Stefano's son. Tony thinks he may turn out to be the kind of man Sami can finally love.

Lucas says he didn't mean to blame her. Coulda fooled Sami. She says, "EJ offered to save you for a price and I paid it. And I am still paying it. I don't want you to go." Lucas says for her to just tell the family he is sick. Sami says she's not helping him run, "I think you're lying to me."

Phillip tells his assistant to find out everything she can about Chloe. He wants to know who's funding her, "I want to know everything down to what she had for breakfast this morning, and I want the information tonight..." The assistant leaves. Phillip lowers his voice and completes his sentence, "Before the little nuisance becomes a bigger problem."

The family oohs and aahs over a Bo and Hope video. We roll through all the tender moments of their lives... Bo with Billie... Hope with Patrick... "I want to toast the birthday girl," beams Maggie, "And also the wad I'm making off this party." Kayla toasts Bo for holding the family together.

Patch squeezes Kayla and adds his two cents, "And for having a beautiful sweet sister." Patch will say anything for another drink.

Belle tosses in a toast, "Here's to Bo and Hope for teaching the importance of love and FORGIVENESS. "

Bo has something to say. The entire town of Salem holds its breath. "You're my wife. You are my life. Thank you for being mine." Kiss. In the background, Chloe watches, and then walks up to the table. Hope introduces her to Steve and Kayla. Chloe says she can't stay. They all insist. Shawn goes for champagne.

Belle stands up and we share yet another uncomfortable moment. "I can leave," says Chloe. Gracious Belle says she doesn't have a problem with Chloe staying. Give it a few minutes and she'll change her tune. Kayla brings cake.

Shawn edges up to Patch, "I just want to thank you for giving Belle that picture of me in my birthday suit."

Patch smiles, "Baby's first bath... Chicks love it." Shawn and Patch head off together so Patch can offer more advice on what chicks love. Chloe invites Belle to the restroom. Here it comes.

Lucas wants space. He says he'll come home when the time is right. He doesn't want to argue about this. He tells her to break out decorations while he goes for a tree.

"You'd better be coming back," says Sami. He insists he will. Lucas leaves.

Sami makes a call, "Please pick up."

EJ wonders what new hell Stefano has in store for him. Tony asks if he had a wish what it would be. EJ says, "To build a life with Samantha and my son, love them without conditions and have them love me."

"Make it happen," says Tony, "Stand up to Stefano. You have a child with Samantha. If that's not a start what is? Denying Stefano will be tough and when all is said and done you may not be able to share the life you helped to create."

EJ isn't afraid for himself. He's afraid for everyone around him. He wishes there were another way. Tony says Stefano's health is not as fragile as he'd like them to think, "You should speak to you-know-who. It might be of some help to you." As he gets up to leave, we get a parting shot from Tiny Tony, "God bless us everyone."

Lucas comes back into the apartment dragging a tree. "Geez," says Sami, "You were supposed to get an evergreen."

"Its' not much to look at," says Lucas, "But it's ours."

"Charlie brown would be proud," says Sami. Lucas apologizes for scaring her. He promises she won't lose him. Sami says she called Will after he left. Oops.

The assistant gives Phillip the info on Chloe. Phillip reads through it, "No divorce... No separation... And landlord hasn't seen Brady in some time. This is my favorite part. Chloe Lane Black is a person of interest in the case of her missing husband Brady Black."

Belle joins Chloe in the restroom, "Make it fast. What's going on with Phillip?"

EJ prays. He starts with the usual, "Gee, God, You haven't heard much from me lately." God is used to it. "But you've answered my prayers," says Reverend Elvis, "I love my father. But I can't be him... I can't honor his ways. I'm sorry... for all the people I've hurt and the things I've done. I want to be a good father. I want to know what it's like to love somebody unconditionally and I want to know what it's like to feel that love. Just give me another chance with Samantha. Please. I promise you I will be a changed man." He gets up and leaves. God scoffs.

Sami says no one was home when she made the call. Lucas doesn't blame her for doubting him. He's not angry. Sami wants to put things on hold and find out if Will is OK. If he is, Lucas doesn't have to go. Instead, they could have Will come home. Lucas is just a bit too agreeable, "That sounds fine."

"I just want us to be together," whines Sami.

Back in the restroom of doom, Chloe says, "You know, I've always had a thing for Phillip."

"Let me remind you," says Belle, "Brady is my brother."

"I threw myself at him," says Chloe, "Phillip is living like a monk because of you. If you say the word, Phillip will lay his world at your feet." Chloe leaves. Belle tosses her purse.

Outside, Chloe gets a call from Phillip. She asks what he wants. He asks her to meet for a drink. He says he's sorry for treating her the way he did. Chloe suggests meeting at Chez Rouge. Phillip suggests his office, "There are more shirts where this one came from." Chloe agrees. Phillip can't wait. He hangs up and goes over her file.

We're back in the restroom of doom. Slowly, we pan down the row of stalls. Slowly, a stall door opens. Slowly, the ubiquitous mother-in-law from hell emerges. Now, Hope's on a mission, "Tis a far, far better scheme I hatch..."

Previews
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