Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye

John Black. How do we remember John? John and his idiosyncrasies. John and his frustrations. John and his drug addiction. John and his superspy persona which falls just short while at the same time being over the top. John – how will we miss thee? Let us count the ways...

Kate has to decide whether or not to give John the Junkie the drugs he wants. John goes upstairs to take a shower while Kate makes the decision. Kate agonizes, “This is horrible. This is my payback for breaking up Sami and Lucas.” She clutches the Pills, "This is one problem I can’t blame on Sami Brady."

She picks up the bag-o-pills. “I have to risk John’s life to save Phillip’s.”

The spiritually-challenged Kate prays to Roman, “Please Roman, I can’t make this decision on my own. I need to know what you would do.” Kate gathers her things and leaves.

John comes down, clean-shaven and ready for drugs, “What’s it gonna be Katherine?” No one there, “Kate? KATE? NO! NO! NO!” He smashes a vase with his cane and falls in pain.

Rodney: Oh, my, that was dreadful. Rodney McCollum, here, reporting from the Shards of Glass course in John Black’s living room. I simply don’t believe John got the performance out of that swing that he expected. For a complete analysis and replay, I will turn to my colleague, Johnny Miller.



Johnny: Thank you, Rodney. As we look at this replay, notice at just the moment of impact, John moves his head down a bit, which causes him to hit the vase a bit fat. This, of course, means John did not completely get the distance or the shattering effect he had hoped for. And, as we play it again, notice there is almost no left hand involved in the swing. This means he just didn’t get the follow through he was looking for. In spite of all that, though, his brute strength saved the day and he at least got a decent explosion, which I believe had the dramatic effect he was looking for.

Rodney: Thank you, Johnny. You are correct. He did hit the vase very hard, which makes me wonder if the allegations are true. In order to get that kind of performance out of such an awkward swing, one has to ask if there are steroids or, Dear God, worse drugs involved.

Johnny: I certainly wouldn’t want to speculate on that. About all we can say is that glazed look in John’s eyes is now scattered all over his living room. Perhaps the best he can do now is pick up the pieces and move on to his next tantrum.

* * * * *John, who so long ago provided the fodder for what we believe to be our first crude "Separated at Birth" picture...

And, well, we have literally dozens of pictures of John. There are just too many to show nearly all of them, but here is our little tribute to John Black...

Have a great weekend, folks. Let's dedicate it to John's memory.