Un-Existential

The crew works on bringing Lt. Dan's remains up. Abby finds it odd nobody found the skeleton until now. The brat feels compassion for him, "He's been trapped down there all this time and the first female he comes across in 150 years is Mimi. I wonder how much he loved her."

"Who," asks Abby.

"Well," says the little snot, "He had to have left somebody behind, right? Whoever she was she was probably waiting for him to come back home and he never did. I know how she feels. I have no idea who Lonely Splicer is."

Abby snorts, "I knew this would wind up being about you, Chelsea."

He brat turns to Nick and asks how the search for Lonely Splicer is going.

Lucas and Sami drive through the snow. Sami tells him she is glad to be out of Salem. She'd rather be trapped in a snow bank than be back there. She is worried about EJ finding out she ratted him out. She can't believe she fell for his act. "You didn't," she says, "You never liked him. Too bad. I liked that job, and I was good at it, too. It doesn't matter, though. I'd rather be happy with you and Will."

And, of course we have car trouble. Lucas says, "Remember when you said you'd rather be trapped in a snow bank than back in Salem? I hope you meant it."

John and Marlena arrive at the cop shop. Bo and Roman think Sami really came through for them.

Officer Cooper comes into the office and says they checked the Wells apartment and no one is there. Bo and Roman go into action.

Patrick arrives at the pub and asks if Hope is ready. Hope says she isn't going. Patrick works his jaws.

Lucas tries to fix the car as Sami works the starter. He gets back in and announces the fuel injector is clogged. Sami says she saw a cabin a while back. Lucas asks how far. Sami says, "A mile or two... maybe three." AVALANCHE! "OMG." says Sami.

Lucas asks, "Are you sure it was no more than three miles?"

"Four. Tops."

Chelsea thinks Lonely Splicer is holding back, "Maybe he has trust issues. It's driving me crazy."

Nick tells her she can't rush these things. The brat wants Nick to try harder to find him. "These things are complicated," says Nick, "He could be routing his messages through multiple servers."

"Whatever that means," says the brat, "He changed my life. I just want to meet Lonely Splicer before he disappears. Please, can you help me?"

John tells Bo to be careful. He could be walking into a trap. Bo says, "I'll have a wire. Roman will be listening to everything I say. I'm gonna take him down."

Patrick reminds Hope of their deal. Hope says Patrick realizes the noose is tightening around him. She says it's EJ the cops want. If he helps, he'll get off easier, "People were hurt. One woman is dead. EJ needs to pay. I'm begging you to cooperate with the police. This is your last chance to save yourself and be a part of our baby's life. What's it gonna be?"

Abby tells the brat to do her own digging. Chelsea tries to charm Nick into keeping up the search. Her cell phone interrupts. She leaves to answer it. Abby begs Nick not to fall for her act. Nick says, "It makes me mad what this online jerk is doing to her."

Abby reminds him of a small detail, "You are the online jerk."

"I still hate him."

Roman and Bo plan their caper. Bo is good to go. Marlena starts to leave. John stays behind. Marlena jerks his leash and tells him he can't stay. John is concerned about how it will play out. Marlena reminds him he has bowed out. John says, "Stefano sent EJ to kill me Doc. ME! He gave me the death card. This is my fight."

Patrick insists he is innocent. He tells Hope he got around the police surveillance by borrowing a neighbor's SUV and driving it instead of his own vehicle, "You want them to catch me, don't you?"

"I never said that," says Hope, "I want you to go to the cops and cut a deal."

"I can't do that."

"Then run," says Hope, "But don't expect me to go with you."

Patrick grabs her as she turns. Hope says, "I said I'm not going."

Patrick pulls out his pistol, "And I say we are leaving now."

Lucas and Sami get to the abandoned cabin carrying their bags. Lucas discovers a fireplace and dry firewood. Sami goes for the potato chips, crackers, and sparkling cider. He tells her to conserve the food since they don't know how long they will be there. The fire starts by spontaneous combustion. They throw down blankets and pillows. Sami thinks it's cozy.

Nick says when he started this Lonely Splicer thing, he thought it would be a good way to get to know Chelsea, but Lonely Splicer has aced him out. He has no chance with her now. In reality he doesn't measure up.

Abby tries to convince him Lonely Splicer really exists, "The way you keep talking about yourself in the third person is too existential for me."

That sparked his interest, "Do you think life is absurd the way Camus did?"

"No," says Abby, "I think this plot is absurd in the way the viewers do."

Nick says he can't tell Chelsea the truth. She will hate him

John works on Marlena to let him stay and play cop with Roman and Bo. Marlena says if he wants to stay, she is OK with that. She can pick up Will. She cautions him not to get roped into anything. She reminds him of their promise to tell each other the truth. John says, "I will stay out of it and only offer advice and counsel."

Marlena says, "Maybe the plan will succeed
anyway."

Roman asks Bo if he's all set. Bo isn't quite ready to go. He wants to know where Lockhart is, "I don't want to have to deal with the two of them."

Patrick trembles as he points his gun at Hope, "I gave you every chance to keep your promise."

"And what," asks Hope, "You will kill me if I don't? And your baby? If you force me to go I swear I will make your life a living hell. I'll marry you."

Caroline comes in from the back and asks, "Is everything OK?"

Sami and Lucas sit by the fire. Sami was thinking about how she almost married Austin. She wonders if Lucas ever thought they would wind up like this.

Lucas plays dumb. It isn't difficult, "Stranded?"

"No," says Sami, "I mean back together again."

Lucas says he wasn't surprised she gave up on her wedding to Austin, "People have learned to leave their cars running when they go to a Sami Brady wedding." He is happy things worked out this way. She and Will mean everything to him. He thinks they belong together. Sami does too. The fire flickers. Kiss.

Lucas gets ideas, "Are you sure?"

"Oh, yeah," says Sami, "I'm sure." Pan into the flames.

Abby says, "If Chelsea finds out who Lonely Splicer is, you'll be Dead Splicer. Nick asks if Abby thinks Chelsea would just give up if he stopped sending emails. Abby reminds him how driven Chelsea is.

"She will never like the real me as well as she likes the virtual me."

Abby says she will protect him. The brat comes back from the phone call. It was Billie. She has to go home.

"Before you go," says Nick, "There is something important I want to talk to you about."

Patrick hides the pistol. Hope tells Caroline Patrick just stopped by for a drink. Caroline says the pub is closed, but he can try the Cheatin' Heart. Thinking things are just peachy keen, she returns to the back room. Patrick pulls the gun back out, "Time's up, Hope, let's go." Hope grabs her coat. Patrick makes a call. He asks Chelsea to tell Bo she saw him and Hope heading out of town.

The brat refuses. Patrick says, "Hope is leaving for good. That means your dad is free to go after your mom."

"I don't care about that nay more," snorts the brat, "Get over yourself."

MACE! Patrick hardly reacts to it. Maybe she grabbed her hairspray instead. He grabs Hope and says they are leaving.

The brat hangs up, "Why does everyone think I'll go for anything weird or evil?" She calls Bo and tells him about the call from Patrick and what he said about Hope leaving town for good.

Bo thanks her and heads straight off the rails. He tells Roman that Patrick somehow slipped away from the cops who were tailing him, "He kidnapped my wife, Roman!"

"You can thank me later," says Roman.

Sami... Lucas... fire... afterglow. They had forgotten how incredible each other is. She makes him promise not to make fun of her and then says, "Every minute I spend with you is better. I'm so glad we made it through all the bad times because we belong together."

Silence.

"Just because you can't make fun of me doesn't mean you have to say nothing."

Silence.

"Lucas, say something."

Lucas asks Sami, "When you talk about the mistakes you have made... Is EJ one of them?"

"The next time I ask you to say something, please keep your mouth shut."

Nick tells the brat he knows Lonely Splicer is in love with her. She wonders how he would know that. "Reading the IM's, there is no doubt." The brat wants to know if Lonely Splicer loves her, why he hasn't revealed himself to her. Nick says he has stayed out of touch because the brat probably makes him nervous.

Abby has had it, "Maybe he's having an identity crisis."

The brat is thrilled. She throws her arms around Nick and says, "You are so much cooler than you look! Thank you!"

Hope's phone rings. She sees it's Bo. She tells Patrick she has to answer it or Bo will think something is wrong.

"There isn't a damn thing he can do about it now," snarls Patrick.

Hope doesn't answer. Bo goes bananas, "I'm off. I'm also heading out to find Hope."

Roman tells him he can't leave because they need him to go meet EJ. Bo's gotta go. He also has to chase after Hope. They both turn and stare at John.

John refuses to help. He promised Doc. Bo and Roman stare him down. John caves in. He says he will handle Wells. He won't bail on a friend.

Bo leaves. John tells Roman he'll do this and then he will beg Marlena for forgiveness. Roman smirks. "You're right," says John, "It won't work."

"Doc loves you for who you are," says Roman, "Roman... John... whoever that may be." John is in.

Sami is peeved Lucas asked her about EJ. She claims EJ doesn't mean anything to her. Lucas is skeptical. Sami tells him she and EJ didn't have sex. She thought Lucas believed her when she told him that before. She asks, "What if we did? How would that change things?"

"It wouldn't as long as it was over," says Lucas.

"I don't believe that," says Sami, "Because then you wouldn't have brought it up."

"OK," says Lucas, "So I'm insecure."

Sami wants him to promise to let this go for good. He isn't sure he can. He loves her and hates being jealous. She hates it too. She hated crying herself to sleep every night during the nanosecond he was married to Carrie, "I want us to promise to be honest and happy and true to each other for all the Days Of Our Lives." She offers her hand to shake on it.

"You want to shake on it," asks Lucas, ""Can't we kiss or something?"

They vote for "something." Back for seconds...

The workers bring Lt. Dan's body up from the basement, "The Salem historical museum awaits."

"Poor guy," says the brat, "He never even knew the Civil War ended. It's just so..."

"Existential," says Nick, "No, wait... that's un-existential."

"Either way, it's very un-entertaining," says the brat, "Anyway, I'd better go before my mom buries me alive." She takes off.

Nick tells Abby he just couldn't tell the brat he is Lonely Splicer. Abby says, "Sooner or later she will learn the truth, and it had better be from you."

Bo rushes into the pub and grills Caroline. Caroline gives her version of what happened. Bo finds the mace can on the floor, "Dammit!"

Patrick screeches the car around a corner to avoid the roadblock ahead.

John stalks down at the dock. He speaks into his wire, "Do you read me."

"Loud and clear," says Roman.

John stalks. A shadow follows. John says, "No sign of him... yet. Did you read that?"

The stalker points his gun. "Drop the gun. Nice and easy," says EJ.

Caroline tells Bo Hope insisted things were all right. Bo assures Caroline she did the right thing. He asks for details. Caroline says they drove away in an SUV, "She's in trouble, isn't she?"

Bo rushes out, "A lot of trouble."

Patrick tells Hope to get out of the car. She begs him to consider the baby.

"I have my orders," says Patrick.

"What orders?"

"Get out!"

Marlena asks Cooper where John is. He tells her Bo was called away and John is out playing hero. Will asks what's wrong. Marlena stares.

John slowly puts the gun down. EJ snatches it up, "I'm insulted, John. You actually believed I was stupid enough to fall for Sami's trap. That girl is made of cellophane. That's how easy it is to see through her."

John says, "You are surrounded. You won't get away with this."

EJ says, "I don't see anyone."

"Relax," says John, "You will."

EJ asks, "Why? Because of this?" He removes John's wire.

John says, "Roman has heard everything. He will be here in two minutes."

EJ shows him his handy-dandy RF jammer, "Roman didn't hear a thing."

Roman sits in his car and listens to static.

John says, "It's all inconsequential. The Salem PD has all the roads out of town blocked. You're surrounded. What is next? You expect me to help you to escape?"

"No," says EJ, "I expect you to die." FF. John. Oh well, if EJ doesn't kill him, Marlena will.


Previews
========

Sami screams, "Lucas! Watch out!" The roof caves in and it all comes down on Lucas.

John says, "Stefano's world is a place I would never want to live in." EJ says, "Luckily for you, you're not going to have to worry about that much longer."

Bo says, "Lockhart's got Hope in there and he's threatening to kill her." Roman says, "All right, we've got to talk him back." Bo says, "I'm not in a chatty mood right now." Roman says, "Don't lose your cool."

Patrick asks, "What the hell is that?" Hope says, "My water just broke. I'm having the baby."