Go Ahead – Make My Day!

Lucas and Sami romp on the couch. Lucas picks her up and carries her around the room as they huff and puff and paw at each other. Sami hesitates. Lucas chugs, "What's the matter?"

"I need an answer," says Sami.

Lucas asks, "What was the question?"

"What do you want," asks Sami.

"Is this a trick question," asks Lucas.

Shawn looks at a picture of Claire as Willow busts in and says the problem is solved. She figured out she can hide on the top shelf of the closet when Belle comes around. She brought Shawn a housewarming present. He opens it. A baby monitor. Willow thinks it will impress Belle that he thought of it. He reminds her Belle won't let Claire stay there yet. "You'll need a baby monitor anytime Belle is here, too," says Willow. Until Claire can stay there she decides they can use it as an early warning system. Willow vows, "When we hear Belle coming around I'll jump out onto the fire escape. I will be the invisible woman."

Frankie walks into the pub as John and Bo play with a computer. Frankie gives them the forged documents. John looks them over. Frankie tells "Mr. Avery" and "Mr. Fuller" these are the documents they need to get in to the safe deposit box. He picks up a megaphone and turns so everyone in the restaurant can hear and says, "But if the security cameras get your faces, this unauthorized caper can get us in a lot of hot water."

John assures him the security cameras will be taken care of before they ever get there. "Just get this guy," says Frankie, "He almost killed our sister."

"Kayla will be fine," says Bo, "And in spite of John's help, Wells and Lockhart will get justice."

EJ barges into Abe's office with the bugs he discovered in his apartment and slams them on Abe's desk. Abe plays it cool. He says the department has procedures for registering complaints, "See the desk sergeant."

"You'd like me to be that dumb, wouldn't you," says EJ, "I'm suing this department for every penny you've got."

Abe says it sounds like EJ is accusing the Salem PD of bugging his apartment. "We don't operate that way," says Abe, "We aren't that sophisticated."

EJ says, "Bo Brady has a penchant for putting things where they don't belong. Like his foot in his mouth. And John is a James Bond wannabe."

Abe tells him he's busy and sends him packing. EJ thinks the DA will find all this very interesting.

Dirty Harry looks up at EJ and growls, "Go ahead – Make my day! Actually, I would pay to get you on the witness stand."

Tek boozes it up at Chez Rouge and approaches Lexie. He offers to buy her a drink. She says he shouldn't be there, "You are drunk. I have a restraining order against you. Do you want to lose your job?"

"Yes," says Abe, "That's exactly what I want to do – find someone who understands me." Lexie looks at him cross-eyed.

Willow asks to take a shower. Shawn tells her she doesn't have to ask. Willow sashays into the bathroom.

There is loud banging on Shawn's door. "POLICE! OPEN UP OR WE'RE COMING IN!" Shawn opens the door. Hope stands there guffawing. She shows him her fresh diploma from the Lucas Roberts School of Practical Jokes and Stupid Pet Tricks.

Lucas Roberts demonstrates the proper method for mature adults to handle legitimate differences of opinion.

Hope comes in and tells him she likes the place. He says he was just on his way to take a shower. She tells him about Bo moving back in. She knows he and Bo have fences to mend but wants them to be a family. Shawn smiles and does his bobblehead thing.

Lucas chugs like a locomotive, "I want you, Sami. I want you to get naked. I want to make you happy."

Sami can't believe how selfless he is. She calls it off, "I can't think."

Lucas says, "Every time we think, it gets us in trouble. I want you!"

"I would never have guessed," says Sami, "If this is a couple hours of meaningless pleasure, I'm totally into that." More pawing. Sami backs off, "If there is more than just sex between us we have to talk about that. We have to talk with our clothes on." For the first time in his life, Lucas doesn't want to talk.

Lexie tells Tek she just lost her job and no one wants to go through that. She suggests he go sleep it off. Tek don' wanna. Lexie says, "Keep it up if you're serious about being unemployed."

Tek slurs, "Abe has me pushing pencils like a rookie. There was a time you couldn't get enough of me. I gave you what you wanted. But you hold on to your husband and kid and slap a restraining order on your lover. How come you get to have it so easy? I don't understand." Lexie stares.

EJ asks what evidence Abe has against him. Abe says there is a 50-50 chance he has nothing on him. He pauses to do the rest of the math. "Or there is a 50-50 chance we can have you locked up for life."

"You have no evidence," growls EJ.

"You have no evidence my cops bugged your apartment," says Abe, "I have a file on you I would love to open in court."

"What is in this file of yours," asks EJ.

"Have a seat," says Abe, "I'd like to chat about the DiMeras."

"What would I know about them," asks EJ.

"Have it your way," says Abe, "Go to the DA. I hope you are prepared to lose."

The security guard at the bank drills into the safe deposit box and opens it for "Mr. Avery." A woman walks up to them and says, "Wait. There is a problem with the documents."

Shawn asks Hope if she is breaking things off with Patrick. Hope says he is the baby's father, but will not be a part of the family.

Speaking of happy families, Willow stumbles out into the living room. She stands there wrapped in a towel and says, "OK... I'm gonna get some clothes."

Hope ignites, "After everything you said about being a responsible father!"

Lexie says she has lost her job and her reputation. Her career meant everything to her. Tek makes a play. "STOP IT," screams Lexie. The bartender calls the cops.

EJ thinks Abe is trying to set him up. An officer sticks his head into Abe's office and says, "May I have a word with you?"

Abe leaves and EJ rifles through the papers on his desk. He finds the Salem Trust documents.

The bank executive says, "The death certificate is unsigned."

John Black, master of disguises, turns to her, wiggles his mustache, and says as Mr. Avery, "Miss Post, the way I see it your institution is like a college frat house. When I visit places like this, I check out the procedures. I am appalled at the irregularities I have seen here. You have travelers' checks left out on the counters. I saw tellers buzzing each other in and out without the proper identification. You allow men in cheesy disguises with fake mustaches into your institution. Bottom line – this is unacceptable. I can either call the front office or you and I can do each other a good turn. You can be out of a job if you don't take me up on this offer. Mr. Fuller and I would be appreciative if you would do your job instead of letting a small oversight stand in your way."

Lucas dresses, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

Sami giggles, "It's not like I want to stand here and chat, either."

"So why are we still vertical, then? Come on," says Lucas.

Sami tries to catch her breath, "Because we have to get a few things straight first."

Lucas says, "I don't think it can get any more straight than it already is." Sami breaks into uncontrollable laughter.

Lucas doesn't think it's funny. "I want you in the bedroom right now," says Lucas, "I could take you right here and now. I want what I want where I want it."

"What about why," asks Sami.

"Isn't it obvious why," says Lucas.

"No," says Sami, "It's not. Until we are clear about it, we aren't doing it anywhere."

Shawn says Willow just needs a place to crash until she gets her own place. Hope asks if Belle knows about this. "No."

Mommy lectures, ""Shawn, she doesn't want her little girl hanging around a hooker."

Shawn says he would appreciate it if Hope wouldn't tell Belle about it. Hope says Shawn's duty is to his child. Shawn says, "Wait a minute, you don't sound so responsible yourself. You're living with one man while you're having another man's baby. How does it feel to have someone else judging you? Clean up the mess that you made out of your own life and stay the hell out of mine." Hope walks out.

Lexie tells Tek she is ashamed about what they did. She tells him to leave. Tek chuckles. Lexie says, "If you won't leave I will."

"No," slurs Tek, "I wanna talk." He grabs her arm.

Abe makes his entrance and screams, "Get your hand off my wife! Go home and sleep it off and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," asks Tek, "And then what? Go back to the police station Abe Carver owns? Fire me! Kill me! Whatever!"

Miss post is conflicted. Mr. Avery snorts, "Just tell me where I can view the contents of the safe deposit box."

She takes Mr. Avery and Mr. Fuller into a private room. Mr. Fuller sneezes. "Handkerchief, Fuller," snaps Avery. Miss Post leaves the room before she catches the birdbrain flu.

Abbott Fuller pulls out a handkerchief and wipes off the safe deposit box. Costello Avery pulls two sets of gloves out of his pocket and they put them on. "Lets take a look inside," says Costello, "What the hell? A pile of envelopes."

"You were expecting...," asks Abbott,

"Oh, I don't know," says Costello, "How about a smoking gun or a written confession?" He smacks the envelopes for effect.

"All of the envelopes have an Italian post mark," says Abbott, "No city. Do you know any Italian card games? I got a joker."

"That's not a joker," says Costello, "That's the DOOL card. I got a high priestess. These are tarot cards."

"Why would Wells put tarot cards in a safe deposit box," Asks Abbott, "We don't have time to go through these. Do we take them with us?"

"No," says Costello, "But we are going to get everything we need."

Lucas searches desperately for clarity. He pulls Sami closer. He says they are perfect for each other, "They should write chemistry books about us." Sami reaches around and pinches his butt.

Lucas squeals like a stuck pig, "Hey, that's my butt you pinched!"

"It's always like this," says Sami, "It always starts like this and we hurt each other more than that pinch. I've cried myself to sleep too many times over you. If this is just about whipped cream or breaking the bed, and then we go our separate ways, I'm cool with that. I could do that. I just wish I were the cold-hearted bitch everyone thinks I am. I have this mushy heart with all these feelings that spill out all over the place. I hate it."

"That's not true."

"What's not true?"

"You have somewhere... someone," says Lucas.

"Who," she cries, "Lucas, talk is cheap. Especially coming from someone who has walked out on me before."

"I understand why you feel that way," says Lucas.

What about you," asks Sami, "What about the way that you feel? Do you feel anything for me that doesn't involve your lower anatomy?"

Bo wonders if they are taking the cards with them. John takes out his trusty spy camera. Bo lays out the cards while John photographs them.

Miss Post hands EJ a key, "Here you are sir."

"Thank you," says EJ. He turns and walks over to his safe deposit box. He sees the open door and asks, "What the hell is going on. Where is my safe deposit box?"

"I'll get the bank manager," says Miss Post.

Tek careens around the room yelling, "Fire me, big man! Fire me! Do it in front of your people. Hey, everybody! I got a piece of information about the commish and his wife."

Rocky Carver punches his lights out, "Pour him into a cab and send him home." He leans down to Tek who is sprawled out on the floor, "Well, you got your wish. You're fired! Come in tomorrow and clean out your desk."

Tek slurs, "Thank you, Capn' – I can't wait." A couple of guys haul Tek out.

Abe asks if Lexie is all right.

"Define all right," says Lexie.

"One thing Tek is right about," says Abe, "I should have fired him a long time ago." Abe offers to take her home. Lexie can't. She has to meet Hope there. She says she is OK and thanks him. Abe heads for the station to start the process of getting rid of Tek. Lexie asks him not to arrest Tek or escalate things.

"You picked a hell of a time to put me on the spot," says Lucas.

"You don't wanna talk," says Sami, "Let's do it then. I didn't mean to put you on the spot." She moves in on him.

Lucas backs off, "I am on the spot. What are you asking me – If I am playing games or serious?"

"I just wanna understand what's going on," says Sami, "I have feelings for you. Good feelings. They have been getting stronger lately. I'm scared because we have been here before. We have fooled around and played for keeps, but it ends in disaster."

"It wasn't necessarily our fault," says Lucas, "There were other people involved. My mom was at the top of that list."

"I am at the top of that list," says Sami.

"No," chuckles Lucas, "I am. I'm the biggest idiot in Salem. You can't steal my title."

"Thank you for saying that," says Sami, "So, what do you think, Lucas. Do you think we can make it work this time?"

"I have a real feelings for you," says Lucas, "It's not about sex. My feelings run deep. In fact, they're the only thing deep about me."

"You mean that," asks Sami.

"Yeah," says Lucas, "Let's give it a go. Lets try to make it work this time."

She flings her arms around him. Lucas goes back to work.

Sami says, "Thank you for understanding, we can't do this now."

"What do you mean?"

"You are the most romantic man on the planet," says Sami, "We could go in the bedroom for fun and games but that wouldn't be as good as the commitment not to have sex now. That would ruin our chance for a real relationship."

Willow apologizes for Hope finding her there. Shawn says it's not her fault. "It's not just, Mom. Belle has her rules. I can't visit Max at the garage because my ex-wife got a job there. I am sick of it. I want my life back."

"So take it back," says Willow, "What's stopping you."

Hope meets Lexie. Lexie tells her about the incident with Tek. Hope empathizes, "I am so sorry that I missed it."

Lexie says every hospital and clinic within 20 miles has turned her down. Hope says she has news that might make her smile, "I found you a job."

EJ explodes. Miss Post thought EJ Wells was dead.

"You'd better find that box – FAST," orders EJ.

"Follow me," says Miss Post.

EJ busts into the empty room and opens the box.

Bo, John, Abe and Frankie are back in Abe's office. Abe says he fired Tek. Bo tells Abe and Frankie what they found in the box. Everything came from Italy.

"DiMera's from Italy," says Abe, "And Kate found his ring in EJ's apartment."

"Who's going to translate all this," asks Frankie.

"I'm on it," says Abe, as he picks up the phone.

Sami says they can't ruin the romance with casual sex. "No," lies Lucas, "We wouldn't want to do that. But Sami please..."

"We can't be each others transitional relationship," says Sami, "I'm so glad you understand. We deserve it. Will deserves it. I adore you." Kiss. Lucas makes another stab at it. Sami turns him down. He goes for a cold shower. Giddy Sami falls on the couch.

Willow asks if there isn't something Shawn wants that he has dreamed of. Shawn decides he wants a convertible, "One with really strong bumpers so I could get it through walls more easily."

"Sounds awesome," says Willow, "Take some of the money you earned. Make your dreams comes true." She has to go. She says she'll call before she comes back.

Willow leaves. Shawn goes to his desk, pulls the drawer completely out and takes the envelope taped underneath. He counts the cash.

Hope tells Lexie Kayla needs a private nurse. Lexie says the Brady's wouldn't let her do it. Hope insists and says they want her to do it. Lexie accepts. Lexie thanks her. They toast new beginnings.

Miss Post asks EJ if all his possessions are there. "They are," says EJ, "No thanks to your incompetence."

Abe calls Celeste. He has something to talk to her about.

EJ badgers Miss Post and then goes back inside the room. He stares at the box, grabs the lid and... SLAM!

Previews
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Frankie tells Caroline and OMB, "I just hope that I can find what the two of you have." OMB says, "I do too son."

Bo tells Shawn, "The authorities are closing in on Wells. I don't want you to get caught in the crossfire. I need you to walk away."

Billie says, "So this is just an act. It's been a lie. How can he do that to Kayla?"

Chelsea says, "Try your best not to dress like a loser, OK?" Nick says, "Oh, so I shouldn't wear my turkey costume?"