Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Slammin' Sami Brady

"Thanks handsome," says Sami as she tells the barkeep to keep her tab open. Sami sits at the bar and sips her drink.

EJ comes in, check's his watch and walks over to her, "It's a little early in the day to be knocking that back, isn't it?"

Sami tells him she is celebrating the new and improved Sami Brady. EJ wasn't aware she needed improving. Sami tells him about her conversation with Roman. She says she told him she is who she is and he can take her or leave her. EJ asks which he chose. Sami tells him she didn't stick around to find out. She's been wondering how she can repay him for his advice. EJ has a couple of ideas. Kiss.

"Was that one of them," asks Sami.

"One of them," says EJ.

Carrie, Austin, John and Marlena wonder how they all wound up there at the same time. Carrie tells them they are leaving Salem tonight. John and Marlena are disappointed. God knows why.

Tek tells Abe the room is decontaminated. Abe doesn't think so, since Tek is still in there. Abe gives him a dirty look and calls for CSI. Tek says, "A simple thanks would be nice."

Abe snorts, "Thanking my subordinates for doing their job isn't in my line of duty, detective."

A technician in a biohazard suit tends to Patch and Kayla. Caroline, OMB and Stephanie watch. Dr. Myers tells them the reports are back from the lab, "They were exposed to a biotoxin which is attacking their lungs. I will keep you posted if we find out anything else."

Bo comes in and wonders how they are doing. Stephanie blubbers, "They walked into a trap. They're both going to die. It's all my fault!"

EJ and Sami toast. Sami tells him about Brandon. She says he loved her for who she was, and then decides he didn't love her at all. Only EJ and Eric love her. The family just wants her to change, "But I'm going to be just me."

Kate walks up and finds them, "EJ, slumming again I see."

Sami asks Kate what she is supposed to be dressed as today, "Let's see... Gothic schoolgirl? Hag? Witch? Going to a Halloween party?"

"No," says Kate, "I'm going to a wedding." Sami wonders whose wedding it is. Kate sneers, "You weren’t invited."

Kate leaves. Sami makes a cell phone call to Roman. She tells the person on the other end she doesn't want to leave a message. She hangs up and tells EJ, "He took the day off to go to Carrie's wedding." EJ tells her to let it go as Sami storms out. Make that staggers out.

Carrie didn't mean to just blurt out the fact that they are leaving town. Marlena asks if Sami is the reason. "Sami isn't the only reason," says Carrie. Marlena sees through it. "OK," says Carrie, "The main reason." Austin tells them he will head up Mythic's operation in Zurich. Carrie says, "We need to put some distance between us and Sami."

"This is some distance," says Marlena.

A woman comes out and says they are ready for the next wedding. Kate and Roman run in at the last minute. The witnesses have arrived.

Kate says Marlena looks like a bride herself. Bride of Frankenstein. John says he and Marlena are getting married, too. Roman congratulates them as Kate contemplates scratching Marlena's eyes out.

Everyone goes inside. Roman and Carrie hang back. "Come on," says Roman, "I have a bride to give away."

Bo tells Stephanie this isn't her fault. Stephanie whines about Kayla answering the page. She says she begged her not to go. She called Patch to help her and now they're both in trouble.

Bo leaves to talk to Abe.

Abe enters the biohazard room. Bo comes in and asks what is going on. Abe doesn't have time for it, "I'm the commissioner. You're a suspended detective."

"That has to change," says Bo, "I want back on the force."

The ostracized Lexie carries a box through the hall. Evil Jim Finch stops her. He says she has ten minutes to clean out her locker. Lexie asks, "What the hell you think I'm going to do – raid the med cabinet on the way out"

Tek walks in and interrupts, "No, but that's enough time for a quickie." He asks if she is OK.

Lexie sighs and asks what he is doing there, "You're violating the restraining order."

He tells her about Patch and Kayla, "They aren't good. They think it's the same person who sabotaged Max' car."

Lexie says, "Someone is out to hurt the Brady's and I wish I could help."

"You've already helped hurt the Brady's," says Tek, "Just ask Sami. Are you sure there isn't something you can do for Kayla and Steve?"

Lexie says, "No."

Tek says, "But you're a doctor."

Lexie says, "A doctor who doesn't work here any more."

The minister leads Austin and Carrie through the ceremony. Austin vows, "I, Austin, take thee Carrie to be my wife. To have and to cuck-hold all the Days Of Our Lives."

Likewise Carrie.

Austin calls an audible. He's never going to take their second chance for granted. He promises he will never let anyone come between them again.

In walks Sami the sot, "Well, well, well... The gangsh all here."

Stephanie refuses to go to her room. She needs an audience for her hysterics. She prays for a miracle. Billie rushes in.

That isn't exactly the miracle she was praying for. Stephanie inches toward the edge of the cliff, "This isn't about you! You don't need to be here. Right now my mom needs him. Go away and let them be together!"

Abe wants to know what makes Bo think he would put him back on the force. "Twenty years of friendship," says Bo, "Lockhart is after the Brady's. You need me on this case. No one is more inside it than I am."

"You're too inside it," snaps Abe, "You want to nail Lockhart because he slept with Hope."

"I'll prove he's guilty," says Bo, "suspended or not."

Stephanie goes ballistic. She says the last thing Kayla needs is to wake up and see Billie. OMB wheels her back to her room where there are nice men with pills and straight jackets.

Caroline says Stephanie didn't mean it. "Yes she did," says Billie, "Steve and Kayla are another great love story like Bo and Hope."

"You are Steve's friend," says Caroline, "You have a right to be here." She goes to check on Stephanie, now that they have had time to sedate her.

Billie looks at Steve and Kayla.

Lexie tells Tek about Carrie informing the hospital about her lie. "Don't let it get to you," says Tek, "Let me get to you."

"I'll never be able to show my face here again," says the disgraced Dr. Tramp, "If it weren't for you this wouldn't have happened. You seduced me!" Poor innocent Lexie.

"You wanted me then like you want me now," says Tek.

"Stop it."

"Let me make everything all better," says Tek.

"I need to clean out my locker," says Lexie, "My escort will be here soon. Stick around and watch my complete humiliation."

Abe tells Bo Lockhart has an ironclad alibi. He was nowhere near the hospital when the gas-attack took place. He orders Bo to stay away from the case. Bo says he can't sit back and do nothing. Abe says he has to, "If you want to get back on the force you have to act like a Salem cop. If you don't back off, you will be off the force permanently." Abe leaves. Bo stews.

Sami slurs, "I was your matron of honor and you are marrying my former fiancée. She turns to Marlena, "Gee you look like you're getting married too."

"We are," says John.

Sami flings her arms, "Wow. I'm doubly glad I got here!"

Carrie tells her she's not wanted there, "I've made it clear to you that you're no longer family to me. You are devious and manipulative and you will never change."

"Why should I," says Sami, "I'll never be good enough for any of you. I mean, look at Carrie! She cheated on both her husbands. She's 0 for two and yet she is the perfect daughter and the perfect wife and it's all my fault and that is never going to change."

Carrie rants, "None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for your stupid lies and your stupid rooftop. You are mean and hurtful and I am tired of giving you chances. Change. Don't change. Jump off a bridge, I don't care. I am done with you. Get out!"

Austin is helpful, "Do it, Sami, or I swear I will pick your ass up and throw you out!"

Roman thinks it might be good if Sami got out of there.

Sami gives them her blessing, "You are judgmental hypocrites. Why would I want to fit in with this family? I'm going to live a life where I don't have to please anyone but myself. Have a good life. You deserve each other!" Sami books.

The Justice of the peace says, "There will be no charge for this ceremony. I couldn't possibly charge you when I am the one being entertained."

They get back to the ceremony. Austin flaps his arms like an albatross trying to take off, "Shake that off. We're finally going to begin our life together. I can't promise you a happy ending or a long life, but no matter where we are, or if we lose our fortune or health I can promise I will always love you."

Carrie says she loves him because in his eyes she always shines, "You love me for me. Plus you are the world's best kisser."

They start to kiss the minister stops them and pronounces them husband and wife. Permission granted.

The audience claps and cheers. Because they are leaving town.

Tortured Billie says, "Just look at the two of you side by side. You look like the perfect couple. I can see you belong together."

Bo walks up, "I won't tell Steve you said so."

"Hi."

"Any change?"

"No," says Billie, "This can't be happening. They can't die." Bo puts an arm around her shoulders.

Prevuze

John toasts a long and happy life for Austin and Carrie, "May it be at least a month before you start cheating on each other." Roman gets a call. Austin says they have to get going.

Roman calls John over.

Kate says this is killing her. Don't we wish.

Roman tells John about the emergency at the hospital. He hates to ask him, but he needs him to go over there.

"Steve and Kayla are family," says John. He goes over to break the news to Doc. He whispers in her ear. Marlena asks if she should go, too. "Carrie needs you," says John, "Sorry about the wedding plans."

"In my heart we're already married," says Marlena, "Please be careful."

"You know me," smirks John.

Marlena scowls, "That's why I said it."

Roman announces they have to leave. John hugs Carrie, "I love you pumpkin-butt."

Roman says he will miss Carrie and orders her to keep in touch. Batman and Robin head for Gotham.

Slammin_SamiSlammin' Sami Brady pounds them down and calls for more.

EJ asks, "It went that well, eh."

"You gave me schtupid adviche and I took it," slurs Sami, "Schtand up to my family? They can take you or leave you? Well, they left me! Whoever schaid blood ish thicker than water didn't know the Brady'sh."

EJ asks, "If they're so awful, why do you care about how they feel?"

Slammin' Sami pounds down another, "I don't." She calls for another round.

Billie tells Bo he looks like hell. Bo says he can't say another goodbye. Billie encourages him. Bo vows being booted form the force won't keep him from investigating Lockhart. He asks her to let him know if she sees anything suspicious.

John interrupts, "I need to talk to you, Bo. It's important."

Abe is as cold as last night's pizza, "Kramer."

Tek returns the formality, "Commissioner."

"Shouldn't you be back at the station," asks Abe.

"I ran into Lexie," says Tek.

Abe barks, "That's a violation of your restraining order."

"I ran into her by accident," says Tek, "I didn't have to tell you about that, you know. Your wife needs you. I'll be back at the station."

Billie watches Steve and Kayla hover near death. Roman joins her.

Dr. Myers says they have identified the toxin. He's there to administer the antidote. Billie asks how long it will be until it takes effect. "It's up to them," says the doctor.

"Hang on, sis," says Roman.


Sami says EJ wouldn't believe how Carrie was talking to her. Her family doesn't want anything to do with her, "If I wasn't so mad at you I'd have sex on the bar with you right now!" EJ goes wide-eyed as Slammin' Sami orders another.

The bartender suggests coffee instead, "And... uh... sex on the beach is OK. Sex on the bar gets you tossed."

EJ pays the tab and says, "I don't' think that will be a problem. Sex on the couch will be even better." He kisses her and says he will drive her home and they can finish where they left off.

Lexie the leper slowly walks out with her box. The crowd around her parts, whispers and mumbles. Abe replaces the security guard, "Dr. Carver..." He takes the box. They smile and walk out together. More whispers and mumbles. Tek stares.

Marlena tells Austin to take care of Carrie. Kate and Austin say a tearful goodbye and they love each other, oh so much.

Marlena remembers making an angel costume for Carrie's class play. Carrie doesn't remember being an angel.

"You're definitely not an angel," says Marlena, "It was just a costume."

Roy and Dale break into Happy Trails. Outside, the loving couple kisses and leaves. Pan to the wedding chapel sign, which says, "Bon Voyage."

John shows Bo the call log that he downloaded. EJ and Patrick are in cahoots. John cautions Bo to be careful. "No one's going to stop me," says Bo, "Not even my brother."

Patch and Kayla's machines beep in unison. Dr. Myers says they will know within 24 hours if the antidote works. "OMG," says Roman, "That could be two months real time." FF on the patients as they dangle on the brink of death.


Previews
========

Frankie says, "Maybe Max was just trying to wait for the right time." Stephanie babbles, "Please tell me, OK, because not knowing is the one thing I can't handle."

Caroline begs Dr. Myers, "I want you to do everything... anything. I am not gonna let my daughter die."

Abe tells Bo, "You didn't follow orders. I'm about to kick you off the force for good."

EJ says, "It's either Lucas and Will or me. It's up to you." Sami gulps.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Sami chooses ej, it will be because she is drunk.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or being drugged...

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since when can people show up at the courthouse and get married instantly? You have to get a marriage license in advance. There hasn't even been enough time for Carrie and Lucas to get divorced. And since when can you just decide to move to a foreign country and set up your business there, and then just do it five minutes later? Forget all the visas and red tape with immigration, work permits, etc. It's amazing how some things on the show take months (like Zack died on New Years Eve and his funeral was in February, Hope is 10+ months pregnant and still skinny) and other things that would take months in real life take two seconds on the show.

7:13 AM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...

EJ is starting to remind me of Charlie on Coronation Street. Of course, Charlie is a builder on Coronation Street and EJ is a suspiciously wealthy man with a penchant for blowing things up and getting people killed, along with a glove fetish apparently.

EJ and Charlie Stubbs - separated at birth?

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"like Zack died on New Years Eve and his funeral was in February." No wonder the show stinks.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN to the second anonymous. And the fact that Bo is going to turn out to be the baby's father is just so ridiculous!

And since when has Austin been working for Mythic (a two-week-old company that already has a European division??)?

What in the world was so urgent that Roman had to have John go to the hospital RIGHT THEN?

Loved the pictures today. Hooted over Squints asking Doc about putting her phone number in the bathroom stall. HAHAHA

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN to everything Sami said to her "judgemental hypocrite" family!!!!

8:13 AM  
Blogger Quiet one said...

Good riddance to Carrie and Austin.

I just hope Sami gets a prime storyline now. I get a kick out of her.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ita with the comment about immigration and all that - as if it's not hard enough regularly, switzerland has one of the most restrictive policies in the world! silly me, applying real world logic to this show...

9:11 AM  

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