Cap'n Stink Bomb

Willow and Shawn are in bed. Shawn has now been to Bermuda, so to speak. Willow says she's never woken up with one of her johns before. Shawn wonders if that's what she thinks of him. Willow tells Shawn he is her angel. She can't believe everything he has done for her. Shawn seems pretty appreciative for what Willow has done for him, too.

Willow just doesn't know how she can thank him. Shawn says she already has. He feels like he's found a great new friend. Willow asks, "Is that how you think of me? As a friend? I haven't had any real friends since I ran away from home." The friends get friendly. Very friendly.

Hope meets Bo for breakfast. They are worried about Shawn. Bo says he will talk to him. Hope tells him to be gentle. Patrick walks in. Bo tells him he has a nerve to show up there. Patrick reminds him it's a public establishment. He's there to speak to Hope.

Lauren meets Bonnie. She's thought about the transaction, "I've decided that letting the grandmother raise the child is the best thing for the baby, as soon as the money is there. Her concern for the baby is overwhelming.

EJ can't believe he spent the night in Kate's office. Kate says usually when she gets what she wants from a man, she's anxious to show him the door.

"After an experience like that, it wouldn't surprise me if the man isn't anxious to find the door himself," says EJ, "But maybe you didn't get all you wanted." Kiss.

Lucas gripes about sleeping on the couch. Sami ignores the couch remark but unloads on him, "Lucas, I swear to God, if you pull another stunt like that again, you are out of here!"

Patrick asks to talk to Hope alone. Bo doesn't think so. Hope asks Bo to take a powder. Bo cautions her and leaves, but not without having a few choice words with Patrick first. On the way out, Bo talks to the waitress.

Patrick asks, "You think he's deputizing her?" He tells Hope he doesn't want to upset her. He wants her to make some kind of decision, "I want us to be together and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make that happen."

Mimi finds Bonnie at the hospital. She tells her she's there to look for a job, but they didn't have one. Bonnie offers a job at Alice's. Mimi says she knows how much Bonnie pays, and she needs more than that. Bonnie says if she needs money that bad she should have hung on to her Kiriakis husband.

Shawn. Willow. Another trip to Bermuda. Shawn hears rustling as Bo comes into the garage. They rush to get dressed. Willow says she feels like she is in high school. Bo walks in. Busted! Shawn makes the formal but, oh so uncomfortable, introductions. Willow says, "Now I can see where Shawn got his good looks – from his mother. You raised a good son."

"Sometimes I think so," says Bo.

Willow leaves. Bo nukes, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sami lectures Lucas, "You took Will out last night and let him consider the possibility of his mother having sex!"

"Which you were," says Lucas. They argue. Sami doesn't want Will involved in their arguments. She insists they are not a couple and will not be.

"It's not my fault Will sees the chemistry between us," says Lucas.

Sami is indignant, "In your dreams."

"That reminds me," says Lucas, "I had a great dream last night. It involved you and me and whipped cream. Wanna know how it wound up?"

"I know exactly how it wound up," says Sami, "With you on the sofa alone. I'm dating EJ. I like EJ. It's crazy but he likes me, too. I'm going to date him whether you like it or not."

Chelsea walks into Kate's office and says she needs to talk to her. Kate lectures her for barging in. The brat apologizes, but then she sees Kate's messed up desk, "It wasn't a business meeting. You were having sex!"

"That's not an appropriate conversation for you and I to have," says Kate.

"Tell me who it was!"

EJ comes out. Chelsea beams. Everyone wishes everyone a good morning amidst a lot of throat clearing.

Mimi talks to Maggie at Chez Rouge about a job. Maggie just can't believe how things are working out. Mimi shows up looking for a job just when she needs another waitress. She says Mimi can start right now if she has time. Mimi says she has nothing but time. Maggie introduces Willow, "She's a hard worker and she has great people skills." She sure does.

Willow says Mimi looks nervous. Mimi says she has never worked at such a fancy place before."

Shawn says he won't talk to Bo about his relationship with Willow, "But Mimi and I are through."

Bo wants to know where he found her. "I was playing basketball," says Shawn, "It was a pickup game in more ways than one."

Bo asks, "Did you use a condom?"

"No," says Shawn, "I used a basketball. I'm not giving her a baby."

"I'm more concerned about what she's giving you," says Bo.

Patrick says while he was in jail he decided Bo would not control his future or his happiness. He reminds Hope of the island. Hope says what she felt and believed back then turned out to be wrong. Patrick begs for a chance. He asks Hope to go away with him.

The brat says, "The way EJ ran out you would have thought I was gonna ask him if he was going to be my new grandpa. He's gorgeous but I thought you got him to do Sami so Lucas couldn't do Sami. Why was he with you?"

Kate says, "I don't think there is a rule that says I can't do him even if he is doing Sami."

"How do you do it," asks the brat.

"There are some secrets I won't share," says Kate.

"No," says the brat, "I mean how do you always get what you want?"

"You decide what you want and go after it," says Kate.

"Good," says the brat, "I'm going to get what I want. I want my mom and dad back together and I'm willing to stop at nothing until that happens, so what do I do?"

Lucas says he can't stop Sami from dating EJ. She can date him and Lucas will be there for their son. Sami tells him she doesn't need a guilt trip from him. Lucas paints a worst-case scenario for Will, "But it doesn't matter. He's used to feeling second or third best."

EJ knocks. Lucas turns on the verbal afterburners. Sami answers the door. EJ asks if she always looks this beautiful in the morning. He says Kate told him she dropped in, "Maybe this will make up for me not being there." Kiss.

Willow gives Mimi an orientation. She asks if Mimi has ever been a waitress before. Mimi tells her about working at Alice's. Willow says, "Alice's was my old territory."

Mimi asks, "Were you a sales rep?"

"Kind of," says Willow, "I sold my body. I was a prostitute. I'm not ashamed of it or proud of it, either. I did what I could to survive."

"We have a lot in common," says Mimi, "I lived on the streets too."

"Looks like you've come a long way," says Willow.

"Well," says Mimi, "My husband just left me."

"I'm sorry."

"It was ugly," says Mimi, "I did stupid things. He was in love with someone else when he married me." Mimi asks how Willow got from the streets to Chez Rouge. She tells her she met an angel. They both decide they have a fresh start. Maybe Mimi will find her own angel. "I thought I had," says Mimi.

Shawn says, "I know I shouldn't have driven the car into Victor's house. I could've damaged the car. But how can you excuse Victor and why did Belle have to lose the baby?" Bo wishes he could sort that out, but he promises he will always be there for Shawn.

Shawn hits below the belt, "Do you mean be there for me like you were for Zack... or the way you were there for Chelsea?" Bo understands his anger, but won't give up on him.

Patrick just wants to go away for a few days. He suggests separate rooms so there won't be pressure. He wants to reconnect. Hope isn't sure. He asks her to think about it. Chicago may be the place. He leaves.

Lucas seethes as Sami and EJ make out. Sami pulls away and nods toward Lucas. EJ acknowledges Lucas and says, "Sorry Cap'n Stink Bomb. I didn't see you."

Lucas says he has to go, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He reminds Sami she has to pick Will up at basketball practice, "So don't get too distracted. Lucas leaves. EJ says he has to go to work. He asks why Sami stopped by yesterday.

Sami wanted to apologize for the adolescent antics of Lucas and Will. EJ understands why they did it, considering whom they were fighting for, "Next time we will go out disguised as the village people."

"There won't be a next time," says Sami, "I can't go out with you again."

Kate thinks Chelsea has an ambitious goal – trying to get Bo and Billie back together, "You remind me of myself at your age." She tells her she has to be prepared for this to become ugly. She asks what her parents have in common.

"Me," says the brat.

"Precisely," says Kate, "You are the largest weapon in your arsenal. You have to use that to get them together again."

The brat flashes back to Sami dissing her, "Your grandmother's a whore and you're mother's a whore, so you obviously can't help but follow in the family tradition."

Chelsea says she's come up with something. She won't tell Kate but will keep her posted.

Bo apologizes for blowing up. He just didn't expect Willow. Bo decides he will let Shawn stay on the Fancy Face so he doesn't have to sleep on a cot in a garage.

Shawn wonders if this means Bo and Hope are getting together. Bo says not yet. Bo will stay over the pub. Shawn agrees, but no conditions, "I do what I want. I sleep with whom I want."

"OK," says Bo, "But there is one condition. You don't take her out past the last buoy." Shawn can live with that. Bo offers him a friendly ear, a couple bucks, or a beer and a burger if he needs them. Bo leaves. Shawn stares.

Abe meets Hope at the pub. Hope says she values his opinion. She wonders what Abe thinks of Patrick. Abe says the fact Hope is having this conversation suggests she doesn't trust Patrick completely, "Not guilty doesn't mean perfect."

Patrick is on the phone, "I have your money. Where do you want to meet?"

Lucas comes into Kate's office. She says she heard about his living arrangement with Sami. He insists he's staying on the couch. He says he gave up his apartment because of the memories of Carrie. Kate thinks he will fall for Sami again. He insists he knows what he is doing.

Sami tells EJ her son needs her. EJ says she shouldn't care for Will at the exclusion of everything else. He also thinks Lucas is manipulating her and she still loves him. Sami disagrees. She says she punishes herself every day for blackmailing Lexie, "I have to grow up and take responsibility."

EJ starts to leave. Sami backpedals, "Maybe once this crisis is over for Will... I still want to be your friend." Sami shuts the door. EJ smiles.

Willow goes through the drill with Mimi. Maggie comes up and tells her she has a call. It's Shawn. He tells her he found a place to live. Willow loves boats. He asks her to meet him there after her shift. Willow asks, "Would you mind if I brought a friend? She's had a tough day... week... year.

Shawn is disappointed. He wanted to 'christen' the boat. Willow says she feels so bad for her friend, and they can 'christen' the boat after she leaves. Shawn agrees.

Willow hangs up and tells Mimi, "It was HIM. He wants to get together on his boat." She invites Mimi, "Who knows? Maybe he'll have an angel he can introduce you to." Mimi is reluctant at first, but agrees to go.

The brat is dressed like the slut she is – fur, fishnet stockings, teensy-weensy skirt. She walks the streets and trolls. When Kate said this might get ugly even she didn't expect something this gross. Men everywhere head for the hills.

Bo finds Hope. He says he talked to Shawn and they made progress. Bo gave him the keys to the FF and will move in upstairs at the pub. Hope wonders if this is a good idea. Bo insists it is. Hope says she has to go check on Belle. As she leaves she turns and says, "Hey, thanks for being you."

Abe comes up to Bo and says it's been a while since he's seen him smile. Bo says it's been a while since he had something to smile about.

Patrick counts the money, Dr. Bader asks, "I assume it's the full amount?"

"As agreed," says Patrick.

Dr. Bader takes the dough and says, "You should be aware just because I made it appear you are the father of Hope's baby by changing the results, it's not a done deal. She could have additional tests which would show Bo is the real father."

"There won't be any more tests," says Patrick, "Hope won't be here to have them. We are leaving Salem soon – for good." FF.

Previews
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Patch is in Stephanie's hospital room, "OK! Cheeseburgers for everybody!" Stephanie says, "It's happening, Mom." Kayla says, "It's... cheeseburgers."

Willow asks, "You guys know each other?" Mimi says, "Meet my husband."

Lexie offers a toast and tells Abe, "Nothing is ever going to come between us again." Tek walks in and says, "Think again."

Billie is at the police station as the brat walks up in her Happy Hooker getup. Billie says, "OMG, Chelsea!" The brat says, "Hi, Mom." Smile.