Creepy Old Perv

"I believe you have a question for me," says Marlena.

"Why don't I just lose the talk and give you this," asks John. He opens a ring box. Scientists everywhere can stop searching for the tenth planet.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful," gasps Marlena.

"I have," says John, "You. And a full bag-o-pills."

Carrie and Jim Finch, the dreaded Hospital Administrator, show up at Lexie's office. "Lexie, we have a problem," says Jim.

Steve shows up at Billie's place with lunch. Beer for him and sody pop for her. He goes for an appetizer but Billie pushes him away and tells him it's not a good time. Chelsea is on the way home. Billie needs to talk to her and have her accept the fact that Bo and she will not get back together. There's a conversation we've never had before. Patch wonders if he can straighten out the little brat. Billie laughs and says if he can't straighten out Stephanie and make her stop pushing him to get together with Kayla, what makes him think he can straighten out Chelsea. Patch asks, "Isn't it supposed to be easier when it's some else's kid?"

Stephanie tells Kayla Max came to break up with her and when he started to tell her, she hyperventilated. She feels like an idiot. Now Max feels sorry for her and he has "unbroken up" with her. Kayla asks if she really wants to be with him if he doesn't want to be in the relationship.

Stephanie asks, "Do you really want to be with Dad if he doesn't want to be in the relationship?"

Outside, The Hand stalks and watches through Stephanie's window.

Jimbo says, "Miss Brady has made some serious accusations." He asks Lexie if she told Carrie about the genetic markers. Carrie answers for her. Jim says Lexie has violated her contract with the hospital. He tells Lexie to prepare her defense.

Lexie says there is no point in that, "Everything Carrie said is true."

Carrie says, "I assume the appropriate action will be taken." She leaves.

Jim tells Lexie he doesn't understand. She hasn't left him any room. The board will have to decide about her license, but her job there is terminated. Without severance or benefits. Dozens of patients can breathe a big sigh of relief.

Billie says Patch is right, but she's the brat's mom and she wants to be the one to talk to her. She missed so much of her life. Patch thinks she feels guilty, "You're a good mom, who just happens to have Satan's Spawn for a kid. Why don't you just let me try to help out?"

"Chelsea hates the fact we are seeing each other," says Billie.

"She just doesn't know what a great guy I am," jokes Patch.

The little snot enters and sees them, "You didn't tell me Cap'n Jack would be here."

Patch says, "That's Cap'n Steve to you."

The brat says, "If you're going for the Johnny Depp thing, you're too old. And what's with that piece of crap you parked in the driveway? We don't want the neighbors to see that."

Steve plays it cool and invites her to talk. They need to get to know each other. The brat claims she already knows everything she needs to know about him. Patch asks Billie to put the food on plates, "I brought enough for three." Billie tells the brat to play nice as she goes into the kitchen. Patch invites Chelsea to sit down.

The brat keeps it up, "What am I supposed to do – sit on your lap and call you daddy?"

"Try it," says Patch, "and I'll poke you in the eye and you'll have to wear a patch. We'll all call you Cap'n Chelsea."

Stephanie tells Kayla, "We're both in love with guys who stopped loving us. What's wrong with us." Kayla says, "I can't say. The show only lasts an hour."

Stephanie says, "We're just two losers who have given our hearts away to men who will never love us back."

"There is nothing wrong with us," insists Kayla, "Sometimes we just need to refocus our energy."

Stephanie asks, "You think you'll get a new opportunity with Dad?"

Kayla starts to answer, but the hospital intercom booms, "DR. KAYLA JOHNSON REPORT TO ROOM 113."

Kayla can't figure that one out. She just came on board at the hospital, doesn't have any patients yet, and she isn't on duty. She starts to leave but Stephanie tells her not to go.

Kayla insists she has to go. Stephanie reminds her she said she wasn't on duty, "What if this is another setup? Call and find out if it's real."

"This is Salem. Nothing is real," says Kayla, "I don't even know the number." Kayla leaves. Stephanie is frustrated as we pan down to see that Kayla has left her purse in Stephanie's room. Dumb-da-dumb-dumb.

"It's beautiful," says Marlena.

"It's your old diamond," says John, "I just had it reset."

Marlena asks, "All the money you have and you're giving me a recycled diamond? "

John says, "The sapphire symbolizes the past and there is one for every year we have been together and one for every time you have come back from the dead. Which for me is my entire life." He gives her a miniature wedding band for her charm bracelet so she will remember their never ending, but much-interrupted, love. She thinks it's perfect. They will have everything they ever dreamed of. No DiMeras. John thinks all the obstacles have hade their love stronger than it ever was, "This time, baby, it will be forever." Kiss.

Austin sits at Chez Rouge where Carrie left him two days ago. She tells him she met with Jim Finch and confronted Lexie, "He fired her on the spot. I got everything I wanted. So why do I feel worse than ever? I thought it would give me closure, but I destroyed her career."

"No," says Austin, "Sami and Lexie did that. Don't you think you did her patients a favor?"

"The ones who are still alive," says Carrie, "I was tired of being lied to. I hate it."

Austin says, "Things won't change as long as Sami is in our lives. It's in her DNA. She doesn't care who she hurts."

"You're right," says Carrie, "When we hurt her and Lucas, we really cared. That's one of the reasons I almost didn't come back to Salem for so long."

"That is why I want to move to Europe," says Austin, "Do you still want to go?"

"I feel like I just got home," says Carrie.

Austin tries to convince her. This is their chance for a whole new life, "Are you with me?" Carrie stares.

John and Marlena kiss and moan. John tells her only ten percent of the men who propose get down on one knee anymore. Marlena says he is old fashioned. John says, "You found a man who was confused and empty. You filled me with purpose but I was still confused. You gave us our beautiful daughter. You made my life worth living. I don't want us to be apart. I want us to be together for all the Days Of Our Lives, so that is why I am one of the ten percent on bent knee, well that and my trick knee, asking you to marry me again. Will you please marry me, Marlena?"

Marlena smiles, "Let's see... Marlena Evans Craig Brady Black North Black... I like it! "

Carrie thinks moving to Switzerland is a big decision. Austin tells her there is nothing in Salem for her. He will be CEO of Mythic's entire European division and will give her Highstyle back. He knows she will miss her family but her mom is in Europe. Carrie asks, "If we leave, hasn't Sami won?"

"No," says Austin, "If we leave, the audience wins. Sami has lost. We're together. More in love than before. We've won."

Abe comes into Chez Rouge and says he got Lexie's message. He wonders why they are there. They find a table to talk. Lexie sees Carrie and Austin across the room and suggests sitting at the bar. Once they sit down, she tells Abe, "I love you. Things are finally good between us. So I just couldn't wait to screw them up. I don't want any secrets. Abe... I did something terrible and once I tell you, you may never want to speak to me again."

Patch says the brat deserves to know what the deal is between Billie and him. The brat says she knows, "Mom's ditching Dad and you're ditching Kayla because you can't control yourselves."

Patch tries again, "Listen, you've probably been in love..."

"You're not in love," says the brat, "And I'm not about to discuss my love life with a creepy old perv like you. Are we finished?"

"No," says Steve, "You don't have to like me, but you have to accept what is happening between me and your mom."

"You have to accept some things too," says the brat, "Did you know that she was a drug addict?"

Patch says, "Yeah."

The brat says, "Well then I guess that you also know about the porn movies she's made."

Billie comes out of the kitchen and gasps. Steve says, "No. But I'd like to see a couple of them."

Kayla goes into a hospital room. The door slams and locks her in there. She pounds, "Help! Dammit I left my phone upstairs." She tries the phone in the room, but the line has been cut. She hears heavy breathing.

Billie slams the plate down, "Chelsea!"

"I'm just being honest," says the little snot.

Patch asks, "Did that make you feel powerful?"

"I just thought you needed to know."

"That your mom has a past," says Patch, "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Oh," says the brat, "I guess you've dated a lot of sluts."

"Everyone has a past," says Steve, "Things they can't undo. Horrible accidents that can't be undone. Young ladies that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! Don't ever say anything bad about your mother and me again!"

A referee steps in and penalizes Patch for unsportsmanlike conduct. Then he sees who Patch's opponent is, revokes the penalty and rubs her face in the dirt.

Patch's cell phone brings his rant to a halt. Stephanie tells him she is worried about Kayla. He tells her he will be right there. He tells Billie he has to go. He leaves. Billie sighs.

The brat says, "Looks like your little pirate friend jumped ship to the USS Kayla."

Breathing... breathing... Kayla stares and searches. She locates a vent where it seems to be coming form. A fakey Halloween voice says, "Kaayylllla... Kaayylllla..."

Lexie stammers around about the blackmail. Abe says it's old news. Lexie says, "I never told you what Sami forced me to do." She tells him about what she told Carrie about the genetic marker, "That's why Carrie chose Lucas." She says she felt horrible about it. Sami said if Lexie didn't play along, she would tell Abe about the affair, which Abe found out about anyway. Lexie tells Abe she has been fired and the board may take her license.

Abe asks, "Did you tell me the truth because you lost your job and knew I would find out?"

Carrie says, "I can't move to Europe with you... or I won't. I mean, what have the Europeans done to deserve us? We have to get married first."

Lexie says she told Abe because she wants no secrets, but chose this moment because she was fired. She can volunteer at the free clinic until the board revokes her license.

"The free clinic," says Abe, "Your patients will finally be getting their money's worth."

Lexie says she can deal with losing her license, but not with losing Abe. He says as long as she doesn't take up with Tek again he will not leave her. Abe assures her they will get through this. Hugs.

Austin doesn't think there is enough time to get married before they leave. Carrie doesn't want a dream wedding. She wants to go find a JP right now. He thinks this is a perfect time to give her the ring. He takes a knee, "Carrie Brady, will you marry me?"

"Yes," says Carrie, "Yes I will. And I promise I'll wait at least two weeks before having an affair this time." Kiss.

"Let's go find a JP," says Austin." They leave as Lexie and Abe smile at each other.

Marlena says, "Just when I think I couldn’t love you more..."

John says, "You haven't answered my question."

"That’s because I have a proposal of my own."

Patch runs into Stephanie's room. Stephanie gives her panic stricken story, "Room 113! Hurry!" Patch runs out and misses seeing the telltale glove on the floor.

The voice drones, "Kaayylllla... Kaayylllla..."

"Who are you," asks Kayla, "What do you want? Answer me, dammit!"

The brat tells Billie Steve isn't such a sure thing. This is a sign she doesn't belong with him. Billie says she and Bo don't belong together. The brat tells her she will wind up alone. The pirate won't be there for her. Whenever Kayla calls, Patch will go running.

Kayla yells, "Who are you? Why are you doing this?" Patch knocks. Kayla says, "Steve! Thank God! Help me get out of here!" Patch tries to break in.

Carrie and Austin arrive at the JP's office. The woman tells them they don't do weddings without an appointment. Austin and Carrie beg. The woman sees the paperwork is in order, "But that doesn't mean we can marry you. There is another couple ahead of you." John and Marlena walk in. Confused smiles and greetings all around.

Abe says, "Now that Tek's out of the picture nothing will ever break up our family again." They toast and sip their champagne.

Billie tells the brat she won't be manipulated. The brat smirks and says, "Maybe we can discuss that in family therapy! Hope is having Patrick's baby and Steve loves Kayla."

Billie says, "Bo and Hope will get together. And if I want to date Steve, that's my business."

The brat says, "If he leaves you high and dry, don't come to me."

Stephanie hyperventilates. The nurse tries to calm her down. Stephanie says she can't clam down when something horrible is happening to her mother.

Steve works the door lock with a knife and then kicks it in. Hugs. Kayla is OK now. He tells her Stephanie told him where she was. Kayla tells him about the heavy breathing. He assures her she is safe and checks out the vent. He doesn't hear anything. Suddenly, gas comes pouring out of the vent. They go down choking and gasping.


Previews
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Billie tells Bo, "This can't be happening. They can't die." Bo puts an arm around her shoulders. Expect Hope to walk in any minute.

Tek asks, "Are you sure there isn't something you can do for Kayla and Steve?" Lexie says, "No." Tek says, "But you're a doctor." Lexie says, "A doctor who doesn't work here any more." Apparently, Tek's restraining order is worth about as much as Lexie's medical diploma.

EJ asks, "If they're so awful, why do you care about how they feel?" Sami pounds down a drink, "I don't."

Carrie says, "I'm going to miss you like crazy." Marlena and Kate say, "Bye-bye." Carrie and Austin ride off into the sunset.