Blonde Bimbo Deal

Nicole wants to know what Lucas' problem is. He says Austin's business is doomed.

Austin can understand why this would be uncomfortable for Lucas, since Austin will be working with his ex wife and ex fiancée. Austin tells Lucas the three of them need to make it work.

"She's your ex wife," says Lucas, "and whatever Nicole was to you... This is a joke. I tried to make it work with both of them for years. It burned me in ways I couldn't explain. When they lie to you, I'll be down the hall laughing my butt off." Lucas storms off.

Austin looks puzzled. Sami asks what he is thinking. "I don't know," he says, "This might not be the best idea I ever had." YA THINK?

Chelsea buys the works. Cash. Hope watches her dump Fort Knox on the attendant.

Jennifer thanks Hope. Hope is distant. Jennifer asks, "What's wrong?"

Hope says, "With all the time Bo spent looking for his daughter, it never occurred to me she would turn out to be someone I didn't like. She just paid for her treatment with cash. Where would she get money like that?" Maybe she followed in her mother and grandmother's footsteps and walked the Streets Of Love...

Jack presses Billie to help him kill himself. Billie tries to talk him out of it. She reminds him there is a higher power who controls those things. "My apologies to the higher power," says Jack, "He has put my family through the wringer too many times. I am going to decide where and how I die and you're going to help me."

Jennifer says, "Well, maybe it wasn't Chelsea."

"She's pretty hard to miss," says Hope, "unless she turns sideways. You know how much she spent? I've never got the Platinum Treatment myself. How could she afford this? I know Billie didn't give her this money."

Jennifer suggests, "Maybe it was Kate."

"I don't know," says Hope, "And to blow it all on the Platinum Package at the day spa... Jennifer... you're distant. Is something wrong?"

"My dad is working at a new clinic in Soweto. Talk about slums. If we all gave a little maybe it would help. Maybe Chelsea could learn something from that."

Hope says, "If she were here listening she wouldn't give a damn."

Billie says, "You're not thinking rationally, Jack."

Jack says, "Rationally? This is my finest hour."

Billie says, "Use your head, Jack. This is about emotions and hearts that will be broken."

"See," says Jack, "I'm sparing them as much pain as possible. I'll be gone. They will mourn and move on but they won't watch me die a slow death."

Billie says, "Jack, there are people who would give a year of their lives to comfort the people they love. It's the sudden shock that changes them. I learned that in police counseling. You are depriving them of hope."

"We're all gonna die. I'm just giving it a little push," says Jack.

Billie says, "I never thought my best pal would turn out to be such a coward."

Lucas enters the Java Café. He finds Maggie. He tells her, "You're the only woman I've ever known who hasn't ruined one moment of my life."

"That lucky woman is out there somewhere," says Maggie.

"If I succeed in business," says Lucas, "I'll worry about marriage and all that later."

Maggie has a gift for him. It's a sign that says 'Believe In Yourself.'

"You know that's something I have trouble doing," says Lucas.

"Put it on your desk," says Maggie, "Victor obviously believes in you. This is your opportunity. It's up to you."

"Victor will watch me like a hawk, especially with St. Brady gone," says Lucas.

Maggie assures him, "You will pull Titan out of its slump."

"I know what you're dong," says Lucas, "You're my AA sponsor. People don't accept me because I worked for Tony."

Maggie asks, "Are you ever going to do anything that stupid again?"

"No," says Lucas, "I'm going to make the most of the chance I've been given."

"If you have a moment of self-doubt," she says, "you have my number."

"It would be easier if I had a scotch in my hand," says Lucas.

Sami blames Nicole for half of Lucas' problems.

Nicole says, "You have some nerve blaming me, STAN. Austin pulls them apart. He says they are proving Lucas' point. He doesn't think they can work together. Sami points out she worked for John and Kate, "If I can work with them I can work with anyone."

"Correction," says Nicole, "You won't be working with me you'll be working for me."

Sami asks why Austin isn't her boss.

Austin says, "So far Nicole hasn't said anything that isn't true. She has the experience and you don't."

Hope doesn't want to be a hypocrite but this day of pampering is an exception for her and Jennifer, "How do I get Chelsea to understand no amount of money will take away the pain of losing her parents?"

Jennifer asks, "Do you think she just cares about herself?"

Hope stops her uncontrollable laughing long enough to say, "I can't imagine Abby would do anything like this."

Jennifer says, "She grew up working with my dad in Africa. She has a whole different view of the world. She loves helping people. She's sending a container of money she has saved to my dad for Christmas."

"I can't imagine Chelsea doing something like that. Bo missed eighteen years of her life. I'm afraid he will try to make it up to her by overindulgent. She's hitting him up for cash when she doesn't need it. If she is lying to him, that will really make me angry."

Chelsea gets the works. She flashes back to Bo giving her the $250 and thinks, "I'll never run out of money. There's plenty more where this came from." The First Bank of Beauregard.

Billie says, "Remember your wedding vows, Jack. IT was 'till death do us part. Not 'till suicide do us part."

Jack says, "They have been through enough. I found the perfect way to die, but I can't do it alone. You're in the ISA. You can make this look like it wasn't a suicide."

"Do you know what would happen if the insurance company found out," asks Billie, "Jennifer and your kids would get nothing."

"They won't find out," says Jack, "Don't feel sorry for me. I'm past that. It's about taking care of my family."

Billie insists, "It doesn’t have to be this way."

"It's my life, my death, my choice," says Jack.

"OK," says Billie, "It's my life, my conscience. I'm sorry. You're on your own. I won't help you kill yourself." She storms out.

Maggie is in shock, "You are kidding me! A glass of scotch? You can't mean that!"

"I do mean that," says Lucas, "But I won't do it"

"I have a confession of my own," says Maggie, "I walked past a lot of liquor stores when Bonnie horned in on Mickey. How are things with you and Sami and Will?"

"I didn't marry her," he says, "She's out of my life and out of my son's life. That's all there is to say."

"Nobody wants to be taken advantage of," says Maggie, "Are you truly over Sami? Isn't there a part of you that is still in love with her?" Lucas stares.

Sami tells Nicole, "It's not like you have a college diploma."

Nicole counter-punches, "You don't even have a high school diploma."

Austin interrupts with a shrill whistle, "If you don't stop arguing I will change my mind about both of you. You are both very competitive. I'm expecting that to work for me. We're going to get rich together, like Bill Gates and all his dudes. They're all multi-millionaires now."

Nicole fanaticizes about a day at the spa with Sami. She puts something in the hair color. Sami unwraps and finds green hair. SCREAM, "OMG, Nicole!"

Sami has her own fantasy. She doctors the facial mud. The spa attendant rubs it on Nicole's face. Nicole lays there for a few moments then discovers the stuff has turned to concrete. SCREAM.

Dueling treatments.

Mickey calls Austin. He tells them, "It's Mickey. I have to leave and take this call, so play nice."

Austin leaves the room. Ladies, start your engines. Sami tells Nicole Austin knows why she didn't graduate. They bicker. Nicole says she has already staked out Austin.

Sami reminds Nicole Austin is living with her, "Lucas has made it clear he wants to move on. And he made it really clear with a cocktail waitress last night. So I have to look somewhere else. But I'm not going to be chasing after Austin."

Sami runs through Nicole's checkered past, "There was Eric. You scared him so bad he had to leave town and never come back. And Lucas. You were paid five million to marry him. That makes you nothing more than a cheap whore!"

Nicole beats me to the punch, "He gave me five million. I'm not cheap."

Sami piles on, "Then there's Brady..."

"I love Brady," insists Nicole.

"Yeah, you run deep, Nicole," says Sami. Nicole tears up. Sami goes for the kill, "Awwwwww... Are you gonna start to cwye? I could tell the whole town about the flesh-eating bacteria. Austin would lose all respect for you."

Austin comes back into the room. The good-buddies start chuckling and get all chummy. "Good," says Austin, "You're getting along." Two peas in a pod.

Chelsea asks if she could buy some of the facial mask the attendants are applying. They tell her it is $50 per tube. She tells them to ring it up.

Jennifer asks Hope if Bo might have given Chelsea the money.

Hope is certain he didn't, "No. Bo agrees she needs to learn responsibility. Chelsea plays Bo against Billie."

Chelsea tells the attendants, "I am not happy with the color you put on my nails. It's too light. It doesn't do anything for me. What color is Mischa Barton wearing these days? Why don't you go get me a magazine so I can see. The attendants hesitate. Zis does not make zee Führer happy, "Uh... MAGAZINE... NOW!"

Jack tries to convince Billie. Billie resists.

Billie asks what Jack expects Jennifer to do, "Go dancing?"

Jack says, "After a suitable mourning period, yes. You're going to help her get on with her life. There won't be a breakthrough. I've done the research. It's terminal. I’m going to die."

"You never know Jack," says Billie, "We haven't seen next month's scripts.

Jack says, "I'm trying to be positive. It ain't easy. I'm not going to walk my daughter down the aisle when she gets married – probably to some worthless guy. My son will never know me. When Jennifer remarries... She's a beautiful woman – that will happen. I love her. I want her to be happy."

Billie says, "Then do her a favor. Don't commit suicide."

"I'm going to do this with or without you," says Jack.

"It will have to be without," says Billie, "I won't do something I don't believe in. Are you going to tell Jennifer?"

"No," says Jack, "Are you insane? We're talking about the one person who could talk me out of this."

Billie whips out her cell phone. Jack asks her, "What are you doing?"

Billie says, "Calling the one person who can talk you out of it."

Lucas tells Maggie the coffee is the most potent liquid he has had in a while. He insists, "I am not still in love with Sami."

"You are in denial," says Maggie, "You and Sami will always be tied together through Will. Do you really expect me to believe you are already over your love for Sami?"

Lucas caves in, "All right! I still love her! But why would I get back with that lying little manipulative bitch? I might fall in love again, but not with Sami. Would you like to know how serious I am about that? I would go back to drinking before I would go back to Sami. It would be a more pleasurable way of killing myself."

Sami tells Austin she will try to be more humble, "It will be good for our company. I like the sound of that. Our company. I can work with anyone you hire."

Nicole agrees, "I can put aside my personal feelings."

Austin is delighted; "I want to get this off on the right start. I am going to be really conservative financially at first, so don't expect a lot in your paychecks."

Sami says that's fine with her, "Since we will be sharing rent, that will help a lot."

"I'm at 'The Y'", says Nicole, "I can't get a new apartment. They want first and last month's rent. Victor is making sure I get nothing. So, I have to have a place to live."

Austin says, "Wow! You know this is totally crazy, but I have a great idea. Why don't you move in with Sami and me?" Sami spews her drink.

Lucas makes a blonde bimbo deal with Maggie, "I won't bring up the Blonde Bimbo who runs Alice's if you won't bring up the Blonde Bimbo I almost married. Today is the first day of my highly successful career. No more blonde distractions."

Nicole says, "This is great. We could brainstorm 24-7. That would give us an edge on the competition. Yes! I am in!"

Sami reminds them, "Hey! This is my apartment."

"I should have asked you first," says Austin.

Sami says, "We are going to try to get along, but 24 hours a day is a lot to ask."

Austin says, "If you won't be honest with me, this won't work out."

Nicole hauls out the puppy-eyes, "I really do need a place to live."

Sami topples like a house of cards, "OK, you can stay here."

Austin says, "We're all gong to be giving up a little privacy, but it will work out."

Sami thinks, "You are going to pay for this, Nicole."

Nicole thinks, "Twelve more hours a day to get my hooks into Austin."

Chelsea tips the girls. She leaves the smiling attendants.

Jennifer thanks Hope. Hope decides to wait and talk to Chelsea. Jennifer tells Hope, "She'll run straight to Bo and that will put him in a tough spot."

Hope says, "I just want to make sure she's not taking advantage of her father – my husband."

Jack tries to wrestle the phone from Billie, "If you value your life so much..."

Billie asks, "Is that a threat?"

"I am a desperate man," he says.

Billie says, "I understand it, but my heart won't agree."

Jack reminds her, "You promised me you wouldn't say anything."

"That was before I knew what you were planning," says Billie, "Now, for your own good and for Jennifer's, I'm sorry, but I'm breaking my word."

FF on the furious, suicidal Jack.


Previews
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Bo tells Max, "'Cause if anyone hurts my daughter, they will have to deal with me."

Chelsea tells Hope, "As long as my mother Billie is around, you'd better watch your back."

Jack tells Billie, "It's what I have to do. If you can't help me, I'll have no choice but to disappear and do it myself."

Jennifer snaps at Jack, "Oh my gosh, have you lost your mind?"