You Old Letch

The good news: I got a satellite feed this morning.

The bad news: It was Days Of Our Lives.

Hope sits in her jail cell as the warden comes in. The warden says she is checking on Hope, "I don't normally do that for inmates, except for the ones who are privileged little princesses. The word is out that you're a cop and cops don't do well here."

"Salem cops don't do well, no matter where they are," says Hope.

Bo is at the pub. Carly joins him. Bo tells her Vivian is headed out of town for good. Carly is skeptical.

Victor, Brady, Justin and Maggie are in the crypt talking about Vivian leaving as Vivian listens and protests.

Will and Rafe are off together talking. Will says he has told Rafe what he knows, "But if you think I did it, then bring it on. Charge me or back off."

Sami is in the rumpus room with Kate and Stefano. She tells Stefano Will didn't shoot EJ. "How can you be so sure," asks Stefano.

Sami flashes back to being EJ's own personal firing squad, "I just know."

Stefano accuses, "You'd even lie about your own name. So tell me how you know Will is innocent, or he has to face the consequences."

Buzz vegetates. Buzz huffs and puffs, "Samantha!" His machines go berserk and Lexie comes in. She sees him twitching, "OMG! Somebody call a doctor! "

Victor invites Maggie to join him at the Kiriakis mansion for a drink. Maggie declines. Victor makes a big pitch. Maggie caves in and decides to go home with him. Brady stays behind as Maggie, Justin and Victor leave.

Brady asks Vivian, "Did you notice Maggie — the person you were going to entomb — was the one person who didn't want to celebrate your disappearance?"

Vivian thinks stranger things have happened. Strange things? On DOOL? Impossible. Vivian begs to get out and does a psychoanalysis of Brady. She concludes he's not the type of person to do something like this, "What do you think will happen to you if I die?"

Bo says Victor was happy Vivian left, but senses Carly isn't. Carly says it's not that she wouldn't be happy if Vivian left, it's just that she just doesn't believe Vivian is gone.

Rafe says Stefano will think Will shot EJ, and won't wait for proof. Will flashes back to Sami's confession.

Sami counters Stefano's threats as he continues to accuse Will. Kate tries to step in, but she's no match for the two screaming Mimis.

Hope begs the warden not to tell Bo about the fight, "I've caused enough pain. He needs to live his own life until I can get out of here and make it miserable again."

Bo rationalizes why Vivian may have left town. Carly thinks it doesn't make sense. Hey, Bo's lips are moving, of course he's not making sense. "Vivian is up to something," says Carly.

Vivian continues to beg and tells Brady he could go to prison for life, "Let's be frank..."

Even I won't won't stoop to touching that one.

"I'm not an unreasonable person," says Vivian, "Let me out and I won't tell anyone. You either have to let me out or let me die. Either way the authorities will find out and you will go to prison. Decide. Now!"

Lexie uses every medical technique she knows to wake EJ. In other words, she shakes him. A nurse comes in. "Thank God," says Lexie, "Someone who knows something about medicine." Lexie leaves.

Kate insists Will didn't shoot EJ. Sami and Kate form a unique alliance and try to convince Stefano.

Rafe says whoever shot EJ will need protection. "And who will do that," asks Will. Rafe says he vowed to protect Sami and her family. "Sounds great," says Will, "but what does it mean? If I shot EJ will you lie for me?"

Brady decides Vivian is right, "This is a turning point. I'm either going to let you go or let you rot, so this will be our final goodbye."

Vivian freaks, "What more do you want from me. OK, I'll give up Victor."

"You already have," sneers Brady, "Right now he's back at the mansion puttin' the moves on Maggie. Ciao."

Victor isn't exactly putting the moves on, but he toasts Isabella's memory and tells Justin to file for his divorce. Justin says he thinks Vivian disappearing is strange and advises against it, "People are going to wonder what happened."

"Who," chuckles Victor, "Vivian has no friends. I mean, come on, how many friends would a snake have on Facebook?"

"I don't know," says Justin, "How many do you have?"

Rafe vows to protect Sami and her family, "I've changed. As an agent I was too rigid. I was too predictable. In fact, that's not predictable, that's just being dumb."

"Yep," says Will, "That certainly describes you."

No two situations are the same," says Rafe, "unless you're taking about plot recycling on this show. I will protect the people I love first, last and always."

Stefano says Sami is right, that Will cares for him, "However, he got so angry when he found out I knew Elvis was the kidnapper I think he would have been capable of the shooting." Kate insists murder isn't in Will's character. Sami blows up and tells Stefano to go ahead and investigate.

Phonus interruptus. Lexie gasps, "Father, you have to come to the hospital ASAP!" Stefano asks what this is all about, but of course Lexie can't get into it over the phone. That would take two whole seconds, so Stefano leaves. Kate and Sami follow.

The guard brings Tina back to Bitch-ho'z Central. Tina flops on her bunk and tells Hope they are stuck together and suggests they make the best of it. Hope thinks that's a good idea. The prison librarian comes up with her cart full of books. She sees Hope sitting there and hands her a book through the bars, "Hey newbie, wanna check this out? It'll help keep your mind from turning to jello." Too late. Hope takes the book and starts to leaf through it. Suddenly...

CHOKE HOLD!

Tina gets in Hope's face, "No sense fighting. Grizzelda can snap your neck like a twig. You're going down bitch!"

Bo and Carly continue to speculate about Vivian's disappearance. Bo calls Victor. Brady answers and Bo asks for Victor. Brady tells him Victor's not available. Bo says he's with Carly at the pub talking about the disappearance and he has to investigate. "Good," says Brady, "I've been wondering how I'd keep people from finding out what's really going on."

Will says he understands. Rafe asks, "If I'm working in the dark how can I protect you? Tell me what's going on." Phonus interruptus. Rafe gets a message to go to the hospital.

Sami, Kate and Stefano stand in EJ's room with Lexie, who tells them there has been an increase in EJ's brain activity. EJ shudders. Stefano jumps the gun and practically throws himself on top of him, "Who shot you, son? Who shot you?" Kate and Sami stare at each other.

Brady says everyone is glad Vivian is gone and wonders why Bo should investigate. Bo says this doesn't sound like Vivian and leaves a message for Victor to get back with him.

Brady hangs up, "Great, just what I need."

Victor is in Vivian's bedroom with Maggie, trying to convince her Vivian is gone for good. He points out Vivian took her passport and cell phone. Vivian watches on her monitor, "What is that hussy doing in my bedroom with my husband?" Victor insists Vivian is gone for good. "I'm not," whines Vivian. She looks at Maggie, "Bitch! Slut! Whore!" Maggie decides to go back to the crypt and make sure Brady is all right. She leaves. Victor looks at the camera, adjust his tie and smiles in anticipation of what might be.

Vivian shorts, "Wipe that smile off your face, you old letch!"

EJ shudders and his brain activity goes back to it's normal vegetative level. The crowd leaves. Lexie gives a look of concern.

Outside, Stefano says he is encouraged and says EJ was trying to say who shot him. Rafe Will and Sami come up. "Whoever did this should be worried right now," says Stefano.

Bo and Carly continue to speculate about Vivian's disappearance. "Vivian's gone," says Bo.

Ciara joins them and overhears, "She's gone?"

"Yep," says Bo, "I figured that out the minute she disappeared."

"Good," says Ciara, "I don't like her. She's scary." She shows them a picture she drew of Caroline, and gives it to Carly. Oh, the tender moment!

Hope struggles as Tina rages and says she got extra time because of the fight. This is crazy," says Hope.

Tina screams, "You wanna know what crazy feels like bitch?" She gives her a knee to the stomach...

"OOF!"

Sami takes Will aside.

Rafe warns Kate not to try anything. Kate says she's concerned about what Stefano will do if he gets proof. Rafe asks Stefano why he doesn't go to the police. "What," asks Stefano, "The Brady police? The whole thing would just be covered up."

Rafe has a rare moment of lucidity, "You mean like Hope's going to prison?"

"Point taken," says Stefano, "I know you want justice done, so you wouldn't bend the rules if you knew who did it would you?"

"Hard to say," says Rafe, "since I don't know who did it."

Apparently Sami has ordered Will to go live with Roman. She says if it comes down to anyone accusing Will, she will confess. "I'm not letting you go down for this," says Will, "You should tell Rafe the truth right now."

Sami insists they can't tell Rafe. Will says Rafe has changed and will stick up for them. Sami stands her ground, "If I told Rafe I shot EJ, he still wouldn't be able to figure out who did it, but he would be an accomplice after the fact and his career and life would be over." Rafe joins them. They all head back for the waiting area.

Ciara has gone to parts unknown. Bo says Ciara needs a woman to be part of her life. Carly asks if Bo has heard from Hope. Bo says no, "She doesn't return my calls and hasn't written Ciara."

The warden calls, "Mr. Brady, I have some news about your wife and I'm afraid it's not good."

"Oh no," gasps Bo, "You mean they're going to let her out?"

Brady comes back into the crypt. Vivian taunts him, "What's the matter? Lose something incriminating? A photo? A document? Your conscience? Do you really want to stoop to my level? Can you live with this?"

Maggie walks in as Brady snorts, "Shut up and let me think!" All the quiet in the world couldn't make that happen.

Maggie asks, "Who are you talking to?"

Bo tells Carly Hope was attacked, "A cop in prison is never safe."

"And a cop out of prison means the citizens of Salem aren't safe," says Carly.

"She should never have been put in the general population," says Bo, "It happened before and Hope begged the warden not to tell me. She's in the hospital. I have to go see her."

Brady says he was giving an emotional last goodbye to Isabella. He leaves as Vivian begs him to stay. Outside Brady stares and tries to pull himself together.

Vivian watches Victor telling Henderson to get rid of her stuff. Victor looks at the camera. Vivian calls out, "Victor, I'm here! I'm here!"

Victor steps back and adjusts Vivian's picture, "I have a nice photo of some working dogs I'll hang here and dump this thing."

Maggie remembers Isabella as she walks around the sarcophagus. She finds Vivian's earring on the floor and flashes back to Vivian losing the other one in her kitchen, "This is Vivian's. "

Sami joins Rafe in bed. "Stefano's not gonna hurt Will. I got your back." Sami says she's going to fix things. Rafe wonders how she's going to do that.

"I don't know how," says Sami, "but I'll figure something out."

"It's not what you do that counts... It's what you can get away with." -Sami Brady

Stefano says he cares about Will. Kate asks him to wait to do something drastic until EJ wakes up. She leaves. Stefano looks at EJ's picture, "Whoever did this is going to pay."

EJ jiggles, "Samantha!"

Lexie runs up to him, "EJ, what about Sami?"

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