Getting Freaky With The Olsen Twins

Before we get started, here is a recap of yesterday's "lost" episode:

Hope is introduced to her new prison surroundings. She meets Tina, her new Bitch-ho' cellmate, who recognizes her as being a cop and a psycho. Tina attacks Hope but Hope pulls an SPD rope-a-dope reversal on her.

Bo and Carly discuss Ciara. Ciara tries to be nice to Carly, but can't exactly pull it off. Carly supports Bo.

Bo fixes a toaster at Maggie's. Maggie tells Ciara she's leaving town. Ciara's all bummed out over missing Mommy. By the end of the episode Bo has figured out how to fix toast.

Nathan proves horses, giraffes, zebras, flamingos and worn-out interns sleep standing up. I would add DOOL viewers to that list, but most don't stand up to watch the show. He warns Melanie not to get too close to Chloe. Melanie hears him say he loves her in his sleep.

Daniel questions Carly after hearing her talking to Chloe about Vivian.

Daniel asks Chloe if she's worried about Vivian. Chloe says no.

Brady grills Vivian about the sarcophagus. He doesn't buy her load of BS, and figures she was out to bury someone alive again. It doesn't take him long to realize it was Maggie. Brady taunts Vivian to no end. Vivian shuts him up with an iron urn to the cranium.

Stephanie visits Chloe on the pretense of giving her a present. Stephanie says she's happy. Chloe wonders if that's true. Crafty Stephanie borrows Chloe's computer to send a hospital report, and get her IP address.

Back with Stephanie, Ian figures out Chloe didn't change the paternity test results.

Gus calls Maggie and warns her Vivian has gone too far. He tells her to watch out but, typically and predictably, they have a bad cell phone connection.

* * * * *
Vivian and Brady are in the mausoleum. Vivian holds an urn as Brady contemplates things at Isabella's crypt, "This has been opened..."

KONK!

"Wherever she is," says Vivian, "you're about to join her. I wanted Maggie to have lots of room and Isabella got in the way. Maggie will be in there a long time while Victor and I live happily for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Nathan sleeps and dreams of kissing Melanie. Melanie comes in and trips all over the room. Nathan wakes and jumps out of his socks.

Kate comes into EJ's room. She takes a broach off of her lapel and stabs him with the pin. No reaction from EJ. Kate says, "I guess you're not faking it."

Rafe is with Caroline in the pub. He tells her Daniel thinks EJ should have come around by now. They talk about Sami's mental state, "She could play the entire ward full of nuts in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Caroline is also worried about Will, "That boy is lost right now."

Not any more. Sami finds him at the pier. She wonders why he hasn't gotten back with her. "I needed time to think things through," says Will, "Call me this time next year. You made this happen."

Sami has her own agenda, "So... um... have you decided what you will do?"

Will tees off on her, "That's why you were calling? Not because you're worried about me? You want to know if I'm going to rat you out."

Brady lies unconscious on the crypt floor. Vivian decides against killing him there, "The blood and brain matter would wreak havoc on this granite floor."

Caroline tells Rafe about Will being Stefanized.

Will says he went online to find out what they would charge Sami with. And what did Brainiac come up with? Gee... attempted murder. Or... if EJ doesn't make it full-blown Murder One. "I looked online and found out the 'duress' argument doesn't work. I'm gonna do the right thing."

Vivian rants at unconscious Brady for ruining her plan, "If Gus were here he'd know what to do." She decides to call him, "I'll promise him front row tickets to a Cher concert."

Caroline brings Rafe up to date on Will and Stefano. She tells him Will was with her all night long on the night of the shooting.

Will says EJ took Sydney and has been playing Sami for months. He says he understands why Sami went crazy, "I won't let EJ tear our family apart. We do a good enough job of that on our own. I don't want you to go to prison and I will never let Stefano find out." Hugs.

Sami blathers, "I'm sorry, Will. I'm so sorry." Translation: "I'm relieved Will. I'm so relieved."

Vivian has problems with her phone. Brady grabs her ankle as she paces around. Doesn't Vivian watch enough horror movies to know the dead guy always comes back to life and grabs his intended victim's ankle?

Melanie informs Nathan his replacement doctor is there and he can go home. Nathan wonders why she's looking at him like that, "I think I know why. You heard me talking in my sleep. Your face is red. What did I say? Was I getting freaky with the Olsen Twins?

"No," says Melanie, "They're freaky enough on their own. You said, 'I love you.'"

Kate says, "EJ, you're the only one who knows the truth. Did Sami do this?" She flashes back to their infamous phone call, "If she did am I the reason? If I am, what will Stefano do to me?"

Rafe is with Johnny at the pub as Sami and Will come in. Johnny yells, "I wanna see my daddy!" Sami scolds him for being loud and bratty.

Rafe goes over to talk to Will. Will mumbles, "That SOB got what he deserved."

"Don't talk about your little brother like that," says Rafe.

Brady and Vivian struggle. Brady wins. Vivian bobs and weaves, "You regained consciousness. I'm relieved. You slipped and hit your head."

Brady grits his teeth, "Who were you gonna call? Were you getting some help to dump me in the river? What will I do with you?"

Kate comes into the waiting area at the hospital and finds Chad. He tells her he's dropping off an application, and has decided to go to Salem U for the year. They talk about EJ's condition and Stefano. Chad says, "That's gotta be the worst — to think you might outlive your own son."

Sami 'splains to Johnny why he can't go see EJ. Johnny asks, "Do you still love Daddy?"

Will says EJ took Sydney and let them think she was dead. Rafe says he has every right to hate him. Will claims he's tired and says he's going up to bed.

Nathan asks, "You heard me say 'I love you?'"

"You were obviously talking about Stephanie," says Melanie. They share an uncomfortable moment and Melanie rushes out.

Vivian threatens to have Brady arrested. He says he welcomes her calling the cops and will tell them how she was gong to put Maggie in the coffin, "And who do you think my grandfather will believe? He couldn't fall for you with Maggie out of the way. In fact, he couldn't call for you if every other woman on earth was out of the way." Brady gets in her face, "Where is my mother's body?"

"TELL ME!"

Phillip is playing pool at the Cheatin' Heart as Nathan walks in, "Hey, Phillip!"

Phillip's shot goes astray and Phillip gets peeved. Nathan says he just saw Melanie. Phillip sneers, "Thanks, but I know my wife's schedule." He wonders why Nathan is there and invites him to shoot pool.

"OK," says Nathan, "But to be fair, you have to use a regular pool cue rather than your tungsten leg."

Melanie is back with Maggie in her kitchen. Maggie is planning her trip and leaving a to-do list for Melanie and Phillip. Maggie thinks Melanie seems distracted. Melanie sits with her and says she heard Nathan talking in his sleep.

Chad says he just decided to stay in Salem and Will doesn't know he's not going to Wake Forest. He leaves. Kate rambles, "So, now that your mother is dead, I am the only one who knows EJ is not Stefano's only living son. Gotta be something I can do with that."

A professional tip from Kate Roberts: CENSORED.

Will sneaks in the side door to see EJ, "OMG, Mom, what have you done? Look at his haircut! "

Sami says, "Mommy loves Rafe. And your daddy and I love you."

Johnny asks, "If you don't love Daddy, why were you going to be married to him?" Saved by the FBI. Caroline joins them. Johnny decides he wants to make a card for his daddy. Sami sends him off with Caroline the free babysitter to do that.

Sami asks Rafe where Will is and Rafe says he went to bed. "I love it when my kids are unconscious," says Sami, "Oh, Johnny... if he only knew."

"Knew what," asks Rafe.

Vivian says she had Isabella moved to Victor's crypt. Brady gets nasty. He grabs her and starts to drag her off to the cop-shop. Vivian asks to get her purse. Brady decides he'll get it for her. They struggle over it and papers fall out. "What is this," asks Brady.

"Nothing," Vivian trembles.

"Nothing is always something," says Brady. He reads, "What is this?"

Phillip says he and Melanie are thinking about getting a place of their own. He asks Nathan's opinion about where they should move. "Melanie doesn't need a big fancy house," says Nathan.

"You're right," growls Phillip, "Things are good right now and I intend to keep it that way."

Melanie says, "Nathan said, 'I love you, Stephanie.'"

Maggie asks, "And that upset you?"

"Sort of," says Melanie.

She flashes back to Nathan saying, "Melanie, I love you."

"I just don't know if Stephanie is right for him," says Melanie.

"Stephanie isn't right for any guy," says Mags, "But you don't get to chose who Nathan is with. And why are you so concerned with him and Stephanie? You love Phillip and he loves you, so you have to let Nathan be happy or make his own mistakes."

"That's good advice," says Melanie, "It's a darn shame you're so bad at taking it."

Sami says she's not sorry someone shot EJ, but she can't say that to Johnny. "It's all over town," says Rafe, "He's bound to hear EJ was shot, and I think it's better for him if it comes from you."

Will lectures comatose EJ, "You made all this happen when you took Sydney. You did this to yourself and if you die that makes my mom a murderer. Even if you don't die, she still may go to jail if Stefano doesn't get to her first. Then what happens to Johnny and Sydney?" Kate walks in. Will turns, "How long have you been standing there?"

Rafe says Sami should tell Johnny his dad has been shot and they don't know who did it, but the police are working on it. "Even Johnny's bright enough to know that means they will never catch the shooter," says Sami. She worries about the mistakes she's made and says Will has paid the price. Rafe wonders if Will has built up a resentment to the DiMeras. Sami thinks things will now get harder for Will.

Kate says she came back to see if EJ's condition has changed. "Nope," says Will, "He still has the buzz cut. I didn't see you came into the room."

"I just wanted to see him for myself," says Kate, "He looks bad. The person who shot him really wanted him to die."

"That's usually the reason you shoot someone," says Will. Kate suggests getting coffee, but Will bolts.

Melanie lectures Maggie for running away from her feelings for Victor. Maggie reminds her Victor is married. "That marriage is a sick joke," snorts Melanie, "Be a vixen. I know you've got a few tricks up your sleeve. Pull out every trick you have in the book... but I know you won't do that. So I'll settle for you asking yourself what you really want."

Brady is furious, "This is a receipt from a pet cemetery!"

Vivian says, "Yes... I buried Lawrence's pet cat. He loved it so."

"But," says Brady, "The receipt says the plot is for a large animal. Did you dump my mom here?" Vivian shucks and jives. Brady warns her, "You'd better run for your life you crazy bitch." He gives her a head start.

Lynyrd Skynyrd sings "Give Me Three Steps" as Brady chases.

Nathan decides to go home to Stephanie. Phillip sends his best, "Talk about me and Melanie and how happy we are."

"So,," says Nathan, "We understand each other."

"Yeah," says Phillip, "We do." Nathan leaves.

Maggie decides she's exhausted. She thanks Melanie for caring about her happiness. Melanie says she will miss her. Maggie vows to be back before Melanie knows it. She leaves. Melanie sits and whimpers. She flashes back to the I-love-you remark, "It's over, Nathan. It has to be."

Kate prays. "Well," says God, "This is a novelty."

"Dear God I never ask for anything for myself..."

"Since when," asks God.

Kate continues, "Please don't let Will be the one who did this. Let him be more like his father... proof that there is too much chlorine in the gene pool. But if it is Will, at least I have something in my back pocket... Something big to use to bargain with Stefano... Something like he has another son."

Will finds Chad at the bar in the pub and says he found out Chad isn't going to Wake Forest. Chad says his dad still blames him for Madeline's death. Will asks, "Does he know you were asking about her past?"

"No," says Chad, "and nobody will ever know about any of that. He leaves.

Will drones, "And nobody will ever hear about you either, Mom. I will take care of you no matter what." Translation: Sami is better off with her fate in the hands of an adolescent.

Right now, however, Rafe is taking care of Sami. They are in bed talking about the kids. Sami thinks Will is going to be OK. She snuggles in.

Brady drags Vivian back into the crypt and tells her to shut up, "It's just you and me now.

Vivian quivers, "What are you going to do?"

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