Spoilers You Won't Hear Anywhere Else

There are dozens of spoiler sites on the Internet. If you really want to find out what's going to happen on Days Of Our Lives, all you have to do is a little searching. But Prevuze always strives to be a cut above. I want to bring you spoilers that are found nowhere else because I am (say it with me) there for you. Here are a few spoilers for you to mull over as you head into the weekend:

Chloe's baby is born without a leg. Daniel begins to have suspicions.

Chloe's baby is born without a brain, confirming Chloe is the mother.

When one of his associates slashes Lucas' nose with a knife, Lucas discovers for the past several months he's been living in Chinatown, not China.

Nicole seduces Brady. Meanwhile, Arianna gets out of jail and resumes her torrid, lust-filled relationship with him. DOOL ratings soar when we have the first-ever "who's the mommy" storyline.

Rafe and Sami get back together. Then split. Then get back together. Then split. Then get back together. Then split. Rafe finds consolation when he comes in next-to-last in a local elementary school math contest.

EJ and Sami get back together. Then split. Then get back together. Then split. Then get back together. Then split. Viewers trying to follow the storylines are hospitalized for whiplash.

Abe declines to run for a second term as mayor. Instead he runs for congress and wins. During the first six months he skims millions off of government contracts, is indicted for income tax evasion and has an affair with three of his staff members.

Congress censures Abe for not being corrupt enough.

Theo and Ciara are SORASED to 18 and begin a relationship. Ciara gets pregnant in the back seat of his car. Nicole, now married to Brady, helps Ciara deliver the baby, switches it with yet another one of Sami's brood and convinces Brady the baby is his. DOOL writers, having gleaned just a bit of this story from another storyline, hope the viewers have been asleep for months. Which, if they've been watching this show, they have.

Roman's crack investigative team finally discovers EJ was "The Glove." Unfortunately, it took them so long to solve the case the statute of limitations has run out and EJ goes Scott-free. No pun intended.

Kate and Madeline, realizing they're not getting any younger, open a whorehouse for seniors, "The Granny Ranch."

Nicole inadvertently wins the Nobel Prize for Medicine for her cure for obesity. It seems when she goes after Arianna with a vengeance, she stumbles on the fact that flesh-eating bacteria cause significant weight loss as the disease progresses to its most destructive stage.

Hope takes shooting lessons and finally is able to hit the broad side of a barn. Unfortunately, it's the wrong side. More unfortunately Kayla is standing there...

Stefano and EJ have a falling out. Stefano imprisons EJ, puts his brain on a disc and has room enough left over to include the video of the Matrix trilogy. In high-def.

Mia flunks out of dance school in New York, but makes a reasonably comfortable living flipping burgers at the New York union scale wage of $60/hour.

Bo's hallucinations come back. They get so bad he thinks he goes to Oz and marries the Wicked Witch of the West. Later, he finds out he wasn't hallucinating; instead, he discovers he and Hope reconciled.

OK, the "Scott-free" pun was intended. So sue me.

Shawn and Belle return to Salem. It was Belle's idea since Shawn had never figured out he had to raise the sails to make a sailboat move, and Belle got tired of rowing.

In order to relieve overcrowded conditions at Salem Hospital, the administration calls on Nathan and Melanie to perform a few more appendectomies.

And finally, after much research, we have determined the rumors that someone in Salem is gay turn out to be true. Will comes out of the closet. People in town take it in stride except for Kate's secretary, Chris, who is quite upset, "Damn! I was really hoping the gay guy would be EJ. I mean, hellloooo, people... have you noticed how pretty he is?"

If anything's pretty around your place this weekend I hope it's the weather. Get out and enjoy it and we'll see you Monday morning when all this excitement starts to unfold. Guaranteed.

OK, Maybe not guaranteed. So sue me.

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