DOOL — Not Just Soft Porn Any More

Daniel is in the hospital room with Chloe and wants to know what's going on, "I want the truth this time."

Chloe whines, "If we don't get married tonight we never will."

Nathan arrives at the Horton house and finds Melanie. He wonders if she's going to start trashing Stephanie again. "No," says Melanie, "Stephanie does a good enough job of that herself."

Lucas and Allie come into the pub. Allie bolts across the room and hugs Sami. Lucas joins them. Sami tells Allie, "I'm happy to have you home."

Condescending, judgmental Lucas asks, "What exactly is home for you these days, Sami — Your place or EJ's?" As we all know, home is where the tart is.

Madeline wanders at the pier. She flashes back to the empty safe deposit box and thinks Kate and Stefano must be behind the theft. She worries they will find out what else is in there.

Kate and Stefano dig the tape out of the box and Stefano inserts it in the VCR. A VCR... how quaint... I saw one of those in a museum last week.

Stefano sits on the couch with Kate, "It's showtime!"

Bill and Laura join Maggie in the kitchen. He says he talked to Dr. Hayden about Alice.

Chloe says she feels like all kinds of forces are conspiring against them, "You're thinking I'm crazy again aren't you."

"No," says Daniel, "but I don't understand. Who is conspiring against us?"

"The church, the annulment, the Pope... It's so bad we may be the subject of Dan Brown's next novel. And there is something else too."

Kate and Stefano watch the TV. A half 99% naked woman walks up to a bed with a guy in it, "Hi, I'm Maddie." She jumps into bed with him.

"This is it," says Stefano, "Everything that happened that night... All caught on tape."

Sami says she doesn't want to get things started. Lucas asks about Alice. Sami says it's good he came back when he did. Lucas says this doesn't seem real. He flashes back to Alice giving him his Christmas tree bulb. Since it's Lucas' bulb, it's a dim one.

Lucas tells Allie she's named after a wonderful woman.

Melanie says she's there to see Maggie and is glad Nathan is there, too. She starts to leave and expresses condolences about Alice. Nathan stops her and says he shouldn't take things out on her. They talk about losing Alice and Nathan's strong, loving, wacky family. She touches him and then backs off.

Chloe says she had a nightmare. She says in the dream, Daniel was there one minute and then he was gone. Chloe was heartbroken and alone. So she called Phillip for a quick romp.

Daniel says it was just a dream and he is (say it with him) there for her. Chloe says the dream will haunt her until they are married. She begs him, "I want to be your wife right now." Daniel thinks they should wait.

Bill gives the discouraging report on Alice, "The doctor said the end is near." Jennifer cries and hugs him. Maggie reminds them all how lucky they've been to have her around. Laura is sorry they couldn't say their goodbyes with Mickey and thinks that must have been terrible for Maggie.

"At least he didn't suffer," says Maggie, "except for all the years he spent with me."

Melanie apologizes for the touchy-feely and says she hopes she didn't make Nathan feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable Nathan gets a call. It's Stephanie, who asks if he wants to meet up, "You sound strange."

"Most people think I am," says Nathan, "But everything is fine. I'll see you here soon." He gets off the phone and Melanie decides she has to leave.

Chloe hyperventilates, "OMG, my nightmare is coming true."

Chloe throws a fit. Daniel tires to calm her down, "You make me crazy and I love that, but I think rushing in is a panic decision."

Chloe takes the suggestion, panics and says they have been planning to get married for months, "We can have a proper wedding later." Daniel thinks this doesn't sound like her. Chloe insists she has never been more sure of anything in her entire, tortured life.

Daniel isn't convinced, but Chloe rallies like the Lakers and wins him over, "Whatever makes you happy." Chloe hugs and thanks him.

Kate and Stefano watch the triple-x-rated video. "You're enjoying this aren't you," asks Kate.

Stefano's tongue hangs out and he pants, "Of course not."

"Yes you are," insists Kate, "I can tell by your flushed cheeks and the fact you can't stop watching."

"I needed the man's vote," says Stefano, "I remember it was a construction project."

Back on screen, Maddie pants, "Oh, Congressman Andrew!"

Suddenly Congressman Andrew sits up in bed, "Something isn't right. I sense something. We're being recorded. Tell me where the camera is."

Congressman Andrew grabs for Maddie. She gets up and he chases from the other side of the bed. He goes out of the picture and Stefano's voice says, "Let her go." Stefano tosses Congressman Andrew back onto the bed, "YOU SOB!"

Maddie runs up to the bed and checks out Andrew, "Congressman... can you hear me?" Nothing. Madeline gasps, "OMG, he's dead! Stefano, you killed him!" DOOL — not just soft porn anymore... It's a SNUFF FILM!

To recap, recently on DOOL we've had a woman take a 300 foot plunge in an elevator and not only survive but also be well enough to get married in her hospital room. At the same time, we've had a guy fall onto a bed and it killed him. Just wanted to see if you're paying attention.

Daniel says he wants Melanie there for the ceremony. He smooches Chloe and leaves to arrange things.

Chloe sighs, "Please God, let this happen before Carly gets out of surgery. If that bitch opens her mouth, it ruins everything."

Melanie gets Daniel's call. He tells her about the quickie wedding and asks her to get hold of Phillip. Melanie agrees, gets off the phone and tells Nathan about the plans, "I don't think I can get on board with this."

"I don't think you should."

Stefano smooches Kate, "You saved my life that night."

"And a man was killed in the process," says Kate, "But you were able to cover it up." Stefano insists their secret is now safe.

Madeline calls and tells Stefano to meet her at the pier. Stefano agrees, asks Kate to stay there and tells her to leave Madeline to him.

Sami tells Allie everything Alice ever made had a secret ingredient — love.

Nathan flashes back to overhearing Chloe talk about her affair and says he has "misgivings" about Chloe and Daniel getting married. He says Melanie should talk to her dad about this, but she says he gets defensive whenever she does. Stephanie shows up. Melanie heads out to find Phillip.

"She seemed nervous," says Stephanie.

"Understandably."

"Yeah," says Stephanie, "she's always nervous around me." Nathan pulls out a couple of hot air balloon ride tickets and shows them to Stephanie. Stephanie can't believe he's thinking of her with everything going on with his family.

"Hot air always makes me think of you," says Nathan.

Sami, Lucas and Allie show up in Maggie's kitchen. Bill and Lucas renew their not-so-close father son relationship. Bill is glad they are all there. Lucas, Allie and Sami go up to see Alice.

Stefano meets Madeline. She tosses accusations at him, "You took that tape, you bastard. It was a foolish waste of time. I made copies."

"You're not an idiot but neither am I," says Stefano, "I have all my bases covered." Madeline wants the rest of what was in the box, but Stefano says he doesn't take orders, "Listen to me, your blackmailing days are over. You have nothing on me any more. I hold the cards now."

Daniel gets off the phone as Melanie walks up. He tells her he was just leaving a message for the JP. Melanie wonders why rush things.

Lucas, Sami and Allie come back down as everyone has moved to the living room. Kate calls Lucas. He updates her on Alice. Kate suggests dinner. No go. This apparently is one of the weeks Lucas has set aside to disown Kate again. He tells her it's not a good idea.

Kate hangs up the phone, "Well, Kate, you don't have time to be sorry for yourself. Focus on the problem at hand."

Stefano sneers, "Your back is against the wall." Madeline wonders why Stefano couldn't have left well enough alone. Stefano reminds her he gave her enough money to fund her education and she tired to destroy him by blackmailing him.

Back in the rumpus room, Kate paces. She goes back to the pile of contents from the safety deposit box, "So, what else did you have in there, Madeline?" She starts going through the stack.

Daniel says he isn't sure what the big rush is himself. Melanie says, "I thought Chloe wanted to get married with a priest in front of God."

God chimes in, "She's certainly done everything else in front of me."

Daniel says Chloe has been under a lot of stress lately. Melanie wonders if Daniel isn't just making excuses for her. Daniel says he's going through with the McWedding because he loves Chloe, "Waitasec. I'll be right back." He leaves. Melanie huffs and heads for Chloe's room. She stops when she looks through the blinds and sees Chloe on the phone.

Madeline suggests going back to the way they were — living in the same town in peaceful coexistence. She tells Stefano she made a mistake, so he has the tape and all she wants is to get her other things back and they will be even.

Stephanie and Sami look through an album and remember Alice. Sami wants to talk about Nathan. Stephanie says he's pretty great, but Sami wonders about her history with Phillip. Stephanie says Nathan is her future until the next boy-toy comes along.

Chloe is on the phone with Nicole. She agrees once they are married Daniel won't want to leave her. Melanie steps in and clears her throat. Chloe clears her mind, which takes about the same amount of time.

Daniel is on the phone again with a justice of the peace. He thanks him for agreeing to conduct the ceremony on such short notice.

Chloe sees Melanie and says, "I was on the phone."

"I figured that out," says Melanie, "The fact you were holding a phone and talking tipped me off. What kind of games are you playing with my dad?"

Nathan comes into the living room. Sami, Lucas and Allie go in to make a sandwich. The excitement on this show just never stops, does it?

Nathan tells Stephanie he held Alice's hand and said he's the happiest he's ever been. He says he thinks she smiled and he smooches Stephanie.

Madeline begs Stefano for her things. Stefano says they can now put this affair behind them.

Kate picks up an envelope. Instead of looking inside, she speculates about what might be in there. Finally, she pulls out the contents...

"OH — MY — GOD!"

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