The Antediluvian And The Sesquipedalian

EJ watches Sami on his rigged computer setup as she sobs and watches the Syd-vid. Sami blubbers, "I can't believe you're still alive."

In one of those moments that happens nearly constantly on DOOL and hardly ever in real life, Rafe walks in, "What did you say?"

Nathan and Stephanie are sequestered at their looooove shack hideaway. Nathan comes in and says he's paid the bill as they pack. "You know what burns my butt," asks Nathan.

"What's that," asks Stephanie.

Nathan places his hand just below belt level, "A flame about so high. And another thing that burns my butt is guys who don't take their ski lift tickets off their jackets and walk around with them for a long time after the trip is over."

"So," asks Stephanie, "You're taking your ticket off your jacket, right?"

"Heck, no," says Nathan, "It looks so cool to walk around with the ticket so people know you've been skiing."

He pulls her onto the bed and hits something other than the ski slopes. Stephanie, however, pulls away, "Listen. I have to talk to you... about Melanie."

Carly comes down the stairs at the pier, carefully trying not to step on the winos passed out there. She calls and leaves a message for Daniel telling him they have to plan how they will drop the daddy bomb on Melanie. She says she wants to make sure they do it in a way such that Melanie doesn't just totally hate her. She hangs up, "Who are you kidding, manning? What do you suppose she will think of you once she learns about this next piece of your history... a history with many, many pieces, I might add."

Melanie sleeps. She wakes to find Dr. Daniel standing there. He sits down and holds her wrist. "Well," says Melanie, "That's a very antediluvian way to take a pulse."

"That's a very long word, you sesquipedalian."

"Better a sesquipedalian than a pervertiphysician," says Melanie. She says when she woke up he looked very serious like he was bracing to give her some bad news.

"No," insists Daniel, "I'm not a badnewsabringian."

EJ watches as Sami tells Rafe she didn't see him come in, "Careful, Samantha, Big Brother is watching."

Rafe asks, "Did something happen?"

"Yeah," says Sami, "It did."

"So," says Rafe, "I take it that it must not be DOOL you're watching on that computer then."

Chloe walks into the pub and finds Phillip. She joins him and they banter around. He asks how things are going with Daniel. "He's going through the same thing I am," says Chloe, "and I didn't even know guys could have false pregnancies."

Daniel assures Melanie there is nothing wrong with her, except for the minor inconvenience of a bullet hole that tore a gaping hole in her upper torso and nearly took her heart with it. She tells him Carly was just getting started when she shot her. She thinks Daniel seems preoccupied, "Did something happen to you?"

"No."

"Then why are you being so serious?"

"I'm a doctor," says Daniel, "And I'm not used to examining female patients without groping them.~~"

"Without you," says Melanie, "I wouldn't be here." Oh, the irony! Melanie watches the look on his face, "What did I say?"

EJ watches, "You just made a very big mistake."

Sami says EJ sent her a video of Sydney. Rafe asks to see it. "Don't you dare," growls EJ.

Nathan don' wanna talk about no stinkin' Melanie. So Stephanie jumps in and talks about her. Nathan moves in to shut her up.

Phillip is on the phone telling the board secretary he won't help the board in its effort to discipline Daniel for letting Carly into Melanie's room, since Daniel saved his Melanie's life. Give him a couple months and Phillip will hate Daniel for doing it. He tells Chloe about the call and leaves to go back to the hospital.

Sami blacks out the video and tells Rafe she doesn't want him to put himself through the pain of watching it. "But you watched it," says Rafe.

"Pain is my life," says Sami, "Rafe there is something I have to tell you."

EJ watches and has a conniption, "Don't you do it. Don't you do it. Don't blow it."

Daniel cries. He tells Melanie he got something in his eye. Melanie doesn't buy it, "Whatever it is that's bothering you has something to do with Carly. She's ruined everyone else's life so why not have a go at yours." Daniel insists he's just tired.

Phillip interrupts. He takes Daniel outside to have a chat, and tells Daniel about the board wanting to discipline him, "Don't worry, "I have your back."

Chloe bumps into Carly on the way out of the pub. They trade a few insults and Chloe hits her with, "Don't play innocent with me. I know everything."

"You may be right that I'm playing innocent," says Carly, "But as far as you knowing everything... your flesh eating bacteria knew more than you do."

EJ watches and cheers from the peanut gallery. He calls Sami and asks if she is alone. She tells him Rafe is there. He tells her he made the ransom drop and asks her to keep this from Rafe. Sami gripes, "I don't need you to keep reminding me. I can forget things all on my own, you know." EJ asks her to meet him at the mansion.

Phillip crawls into bed with Melanie. She tells him she can't stop picturing Carly shooting her, "I have a father out there somewhere and that infuriating woman will not tell me who he is. That means he's worse than Trent and I didn't think that was possible."

Carly says she doesn't know what Chloe is talking about. "That happens to me a lot," says Chloe.

"Did Daniel tell you," asks Carly.

"No."

"How did you find out?"

Chloe blows her stack. The stack may be tiny, but it can still spew a lot of pollution. "This may be a surprise but I don't like you and don't want to talk to you about it." They argue with the misunderstanding that Chloe knows Daniel is the father.

"I couldn't tell him." says Carly, "but I think the two of them can get through this. I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but isn't it more than a coincidence she already knew him. He loved Melanie long before I told him she was his daughter."

Sami agrees. She hangs up and tells Rafe it was EJ on the phone, "He reminded me I said I would take Johnny over there." She leaves. As she goes the dimwitted smile melts form Rafe's face.

EJ tells Sydney her mother did well and he has to go, "Then you and I will be together for a long time. Your mother won't know what hit her." Neither will Mr. Hernandez."

Rafe mumbles. He says he thinks that call didn't sound like it was about Johnny. He goes over to Sami's computer to check things out. He settles into a chair, but his phone interrupts, "I'll be right there. He rushes out." We pan in on the computer.

Sami and EJ are in the rumpus room. EJ tells her not to be too hopeful and reminds her not to involve Rafe. He asks if Sami thinks Rafe suspects something. "Yeah," says Sami, "I do."

Nathan and Stephanie bask in the afterglow of their tender, loving, meaningful gorilla romp. He wonders if he should become a ski instructor. She wonders why he talks so much about staying there instead of going back to Salem. She suggests going back in the morning instead of today. Unfortunately Nathan sees a pile of messages on his phone.

The blood drains from Chloe's face and the scars come back, "Daniel is Melanie's father? OMG."

Carly realizes she has just shot off her mouth not to mention shot herself in the foot, "Oh, God."

Chloe says she was talking about the disciplinarily action, "You are a one-two punch. You told Daniel and he believed you?"

"It's true."

"You may have conned Daniel," says Chloe, "But not me. I will never believe Daniel is Melanie's father."

In one of those moments that happens nearly constantly on DOOL and hardly ever in real life, Daniel walks in, "You told her?"

EJ accuses Sami of blowing it, "You must have said something or he wouldn't be suspicious."

"He was born suspicious," says Sami, "He got that in lieu of a brain." EJ threatens if they don't see Sydney again it will be because of Rafe.

Nathan calls Maggie, but can't get through. They head back to Salem.

Phillip suggests maybe Melanie's father is a great guy. "Phillip," she whines, "He hooked up with a trigger happy, husband stabbing lying piece of trash. I don't think the odds are very good." Phillip tries to stay upbeat. Melanie continues, "He has awful taste in women and he doesn't use protection." Phillip gets on the platitude train and encourages her.

Daniel drags Carly off and grills her about her big mouth. Carly tells Daniel she figured Chloe knew. "Who else did you tell," asks Daniel.

"Bo."

A little bit of pillow talk," asks Daniel, "Did you tell your new boyfriend the intimate details of my life."

"No," says Carly, "Just that he's better in bed than you."

"I think you need to get out of here and keep your mouth shut," sneers Daniel, "If Melanie finds out from anyone other than me your life won't be worth living." She leaves. Daniel joins Chloe.

It would be an understatement to say Chloe is peeved, "Your dream came true. You're a father now."

Melanie wonders what mother's day will be like with Vivian, Kate and Carly. She figures she'd trade all of them for Maggie. Phillip says he thinks Daniel thinks of her as more than a patient. She figures that's because she saved Chloe's life. A nurse walks in, "Mr. Kiriakis, could you please leave while I check Melanie's vitals."

"My vittles are fine," says Melanie, "The food here is getting better."

"You're so lucky," says the nurse, "You have a rich husband who is drop-dead gorgeous."

"When he was shot a few months ago," says Melanie, "He was almost drop-dead dead." Melanie tells her about the nursing school program, "I was wondering about a doctor I worked with in that program... Nathan Horton... has he asked about me?"

"I'm new," says Nursie, "I don't know him, but I look forward to meeting him." Melanie wonders why Nathan hasn't stopped by to see her.

Nathan and Stephanie are at the Java Café. He figures with Melanie and Phillip on their honeymoon they don't have to leave Salem to be together. He takes his coffee and goes. Stephanie stares.

Daniel backpedals, forwardpedals and sidepedals, but remains in deep poop. He tells Chloe it's probably true that Melanie is his daughter, "My relationship with Carly... It wasn't really serious."

"Well, it is now," hisses Chloe.

"Please tell me this doesn't change things," says dopey Dan.

"That's a bit naïve," says Chloe, "You will never be the same. You're a father now."

"But this is great," says Daniel, "You can't have kids so you can adopt Melanie and we'll all live happily ever after."

Carly finds Rafe at the pier. "Not thinking about taking a dive are you," she asks, "I don't want to have to fish you out again. Ever have one of those days... and one of those lives..."

"Yeah," says Rafe, "Those are the ones I call the Days Of Our Lives."

Carly offers her condolences about Sydney, "Sami must be reeling."

"She's a mess," says Rafe, "Somethin's going on."

EJ tells Sami it could be a while before they hear anything. "Rafe is my rock," says Sami, "And I'm not just talking about his IQ. It's hard to do this alone."

Phillip finds Stephanie at the Java Café. Stephanie is, to say the least, surprised to see him there, "Phillip... what are you doing here?"

"Are you kidding," asks Phillip, "Have you tasted the hospital coffee?"

Nathan gets to the hospital and introduces himself the Nurse Newbie. She tells him about Melanie's condition and he rushes into her room. Melanie gives him a crooked smile.

Carly wonders if Sami needs to see a professional. "She'd bring Sigmund Freud himself to his knees," says Rafe, "I'm not sure of anything any more."

Sami hugs EJ and then says she shouldn't be so stressed out, "I have to be strong for Sydney." EJ offers help. Sami thanks him for what he has done to try to get Sydney back, "It means everything to me. It's nice to see that guy I've always known was inside of you again."

"He's there all right," says EJ, "But I could never match the number of personalities you have."

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