The Town Slut

Sami and EJ bicker like second graders, which is a compliment. Rafe knocks. Sami turns to answer.

Carly has morphed into a full-blown basket case. Bo assures her things will be OK. Carly thinks she will have to pay for what she did, "I had an extra piece of carry-on baggage when I flew to Salem and they forgot to charge me."

Goono brings Master Lawrence's ashes to the mystery person. SHE gets up and fondles the container, "It seems odd that you would put beloved Lawrence's ashes in a Folger's can."

"Right," says the goon, "But this show is all about product placement."

Stefano assures Nicole he will take care of everything.

OK, guys, we have been bamboozled, hornswaggled and hoodwinked. Sami opens the door and finds Mia. "What," you may ask, "I thought it was Rafe at her door. They showed Rafe knocking and then cut to Sami talking inside and..."

Oh, no, gullible one, read on.

Rafe continues to knock. Arianna opens her door. Oh, the trickery! What will those crafty writers think of next? Oh, did I say 'crafty?' I meant 'crappy.'

Brady is at the Java Café leaving a message begging Arianna to call him, "I'd climb back up to your apartment again, but my Spider-Man costume is at the cleaners."

Arianna nurses Rafe. She wants to call an ambulance, but Rafe stops her, "Everything depends on keeping the secret."

"What secret?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?" Rafe tells her Meredith did all this, "She held me in the basement and dumped me in the river."

Arianna gasps, "How did you survive?"

"No one could sink in that sludge," says Rafe, "I think Stefano was involved in this so we can't call the police." Arianna insists they have to. Rafe says she can't tell Sami either. Arianna says they will. She goes for her first aid kit.

T-Man and Chad are walking outside and typical teen guy Chad tells unbelieving T-Man all about his manly conquest. Will comes up. T-Man tells Will what Chad has been saying about Mia. Will confirms it. T goes wide eyed and turns back to Chad, "She had your baby? That's only the second virgin-birth I've ever heard of."

Chad vows to get his kid and keep her a long way away from lawyers.

Stefano tells Nicole doesn't want anyone to know Sami is Sydney's mother. He says he wants Chad to find out he's not the father. "That will get him out of the picture, so do exactly what I say..."

Mia turns on the waterworks as she walks into Sami's bawlatorium. EJ confirms he's going to let Chad have Sydney, "And if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to."

"BUSINESS," screams Mia, "Sydney's life is ruined and all you can think of is business?"

"I'm lucky to be thinking at all," says EJ. He leaves and Mia goes off the deep end. Sami reminds her Chad has rights, but vows to figure something out. She runs into the other room. Mia's phone rings. Nicole asks her to come to the hospital, "I know how to make everything right."

Mystery Woman sets the Folger's can on a shrine of sorts and looks at pictures of Lawrence and Carly.

Bo insists he can protect Carly, "Now that I know the whole story I understand why you brutally and mercilessly murdered him." Carly insists people are coming for her, "I took a life. They're going to want mine in return."

Bo asks, "Would they settle for Hope? "

EJ arrives back at the mansion and walks into the empty rumpus room remembering a tender moment with Sydney. He sits at his desk and makes a call, "This is EJ DiMera. I want to see you... now."

Sami finds Brady at the pub. She says she's disappointed in him for letting Nicole down.

Mia meets Nicole at the hospital. Nicole tells her about Chad's demand for a paternity test. "But you called and said you can fix things," says Mia.

"I can't fix anything," says Nicole, "but you can."

Bo continues to tell Carly she is safe with him and can trust him. Since they have a little time on their hands, he reads her a few other fairy tales, too.

Rafe wakes. Arianna asks how he feels. Rafe stutters, "I feel better thanks to... the woman on the boat. She probably saved my life. I don't know who she was. When I woke up I found no one on the boat and went up and saw we were docked in Salem, so I left." They argue again about the police. "No one can know," says Rafe, "And Sami and Sydney are the reasons that no one can know."

Sami says Nicole told her everything about asking Brady for help. Brady says what Nicole wanted to do was kidnapping, "The girl's not thinking straight. I offered to get her an attorney, but didn't want to turn her into a fugitive."

Sami tells him about giving Nicole the money, but also tells him Nicole didn't leave town. "She will have to learn to let go," says Brady.

Mia and Nicole are in Stefano's room. Mia is way intimidated. Stefano is gracious and tries to put her at ease. He says he has grown to love Sydney as if she were his own flesh and blood. He vows undying love for Sydney for a lifetime and says he will handle EJ. Mia warms up to him as Stefano says Chad must never have Sydney, "But, Mia, for me to do my part... you must do yours."

"What do I have to do?"

"Lie."

"At least that's something I have experience with," says Mia.

Stefano tells her she has to lie to everyone, "No one outside of this room must ever know the real truth."

Mia says, "At the rate this story is moving, no one ever will."

"So," says Stefano, "My question to you is, can you do it? If you say yes, you can never turn back." Mia stares.

Troy, a.k.a. Luke O. Sistine, joins EJ in the rumpus room, "Nice crib you have here. I'm glad the org I was working for sold out to you." EJ says he thought they should get to know each other. He says from now on Troy should consider that they never met and he was never at the mansion, "Secondly, you work only for me, and not my father. So tell me about all the dealers you have working for you on the north side. Troy hands him a list.

Will and Chad are alone. Chad rants, "You and Mia lied to everyone about everything."

Will insists Mia is better off without Chad, "So go ahead. Text the whole school and show them the sleazebag you really are. At least I'll have Mia."

Stefano tells Mia, "I have 'abilities.'"

Nicole steps in, "Stefano will make sure the tests show Chad isn't Sydney's father. But you will have to admit to certain... activities."

"Activities," asks Mia, "I participate in a lot of activities... like being on the cheerleading squad, the debate team and the school newspaper."

Nicole lays it on the line, "Mia, you will have to tell people you have had multiple partners."

"I have," says Mia, "I'm one of the most popular girls in my ballroom dancing class."

Nicole clarifies, "Multiple sex partners.".

Mia can't handle it, "ACK! There has to be some other way!"

Stefano says she has to do this, "And you have to say you just don't know who the father is."

Nicole piles on, "You have to tell them you don't know some of their names."

"I CAN'T DO THAT!"

Nicole gets persuasive. She plays her trump card, "If you don't, you will ruin Sydney's life. Is that what you want?"

Arianna hands Rafe a concoction in a cup the size of Massachusetts. He sees her blinking message light and asks her to check to make sure he wasn't followed. She checks the message and finds out it's Brady. Rafe hopes Brady knows how lucky he is to have Arianna. Arianna says, "I think he knows it and I hope he always will."

EJ finds Arianna's name on the dealer's list. "She's the best," says Troy, "She's a pretty good dealer, too."

Sami tells Brady it would break Nicole's heart if she couldn't keep Sydney, "I have to support her. She has (say it with her) been there for me. She helped me with Johnny. She is my friend and I think she will be for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Sami's friend continues to try to convince Mia to play the role of town slut, even though it pains Nicole greatly to have to give up that honor. Mia gives in, calls Chad and says she has to tell him something that changes everything. They agree to meet at pier 40. She hangs up and Stefano compliments her wise decision. Mia knows she will regret this but is doing it because it's best for Sydney. Nicole thanks her. Hugs.

Bo and Carly agree she didn't have a choice other than to kill Lawrence. He was going to kill her. Carly says her marriage was over years ago but she was weak, didn't leave and has no one to blame but herself. Bo assures her she's not alone, "My marriage was over years ago, but I'm weak, didn't leave and have no one to blame but myself."

Mystery Woman tears a picture of Carly and Lawrence apart. She rips up the Carly half. That'll teach Carly a lesson or two.

Brady brings up Rafe and tells Sami his people can't find him, but they are still trying. Sami insists her relationship with Rafe is over. She says she cares about him, but it's definitely over. Translation: hurry back, Rafe. Brady wonders if Rafe feels that way.

Arianna tells Rafe everyone already knows the truth about Sydney — That she isn't Nicole's baby.

In an effort to promote a more realistic description, from now on "Soap Operas" will be called "Feminine Hygiene Product Farces."

Mia meets Chad at Pier 40, which bears an uncanny resemblance to Pier 39, which looks a lot like Pier 38, which... She asks Chad to call off the paternity test, "You'll come off looking like a total idiot."

"I'm used to that," says Chad.

Mia lies, "I don't think you're the father."

Chad scoffs, "Of course I am."

"I'm serious."

"You are also lying," says Chad, "Why?"

Bo continues to reassure Carly. Carly is skeptical.

Mystery Woman continues to tear up pictures. Either that, or she's trying to corner the confetti market. She rings a bell and summons her Boy Friday. He comes in. Mystery Woman hands him one of the pictures and barks, "Find Carly Manning Allemain."

We zoom in on mystery woman's hands lying on her lap. Then we pan up... up... up... hey, she's pretty tall. Up... up... up...

VIVIAN!

"Bring her to me and then I'll deal with her personally."

Mia whines, "Chad, the baby isn't yours. When you went away without calling I was really upset for weeks. And my cousin felt bad for me. She took me to Chicago..."

Chad interrupts, "OMG! NOT CHICAGO! NOT THE SODOM AND GOMORRAH OF THE MIDWEST!"

"That's right," says Mia, "and my cousin is into the party scene. And I was in the mood... Different places... New guys... Booze... Gino's Pizza... I liked being anonymous. Guys would hit on me and I'd feel like... why not? I'm almost positive that's when I got pregnant. It couldn't have been you."

Chad isn't buying it, "This is total crap."

"That's what you get on this show," says Mia, "You can yell but it won't change things. When you take the paternity test, you'll find out you're not the father."

Chad asks, "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I didn't want you to tell Will I was a total slut."

Well, of course, Will just happens to be strolling down the steps at that moment. "You can tell him yourself," says Chad.

Nicole paces. Stefano assures her Mia will do fine, "She knows how to lie. She is, after all a Salem female."

Nicole scoffs, "Oh, yeah like the the males in Salem don't lie."

"No," says Stefano, "They don't. It's their job to believe the lies."

EJ wonders if Rafe knows Arianna is the top dealer on the north side.

Arianna tells Rafe everyone knows Nicole bought her baby from Mia. Rafe smirks, which is the most emotion he's shown in the last six months.

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